Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

A/N: I imagine the setting to be Penguin Park. Don't forget to leave me a review, okay? I'm counting on you! God bless and enjoy!

Pretense

In the Perspective of Meiling Li

I was walking around in our favorite place, thinking about what could have been and what will be. I thought the afternoon's a good time to think alone. It was winter, and normal people tend to choose a hot cup of coffee or tea in the comfort of their home. I should have known, you're not normal and I meant it in a good way.

I hesitated for a while but my conscience won. I wanted to see you. I wanted you to see me.

"Hi." I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. My eyes were my weakest spot. They just don't listen to me and come up with tears on their own, so I thought I could just avoid eye contact.

Yet again, you ruined my plans. You just have to look up, and stare at me with those deep hazelnut eyes. I swear I felt my heart jump.

"Hi." You said.

"Ahm, mind if I join you?" I asked, mentally scolding myself. I didn't mean what I said. It just came out of my mouth on its own. And I guess I also wanted to talk to you. I missed your voice.

"Sure." You said, standing up to wipe the other swing before offering me to sit on it.

I bit my lip. You're a gentleman as always.

"I didn't expect to see you here." You spoke again after a while.

I smiled. I'm not sure how it appeared to you, but I was hoping to look friendly, just like the usual.

"Neither did I. So what brings you here?"

You chuckled, and I felt a heavy weight on my heart. "Syaoran…" I called. I knew you were faking cheerfulness. You're the kind of person that's cold on the outside but really warm to the people you love. You always act stoic, always play cool and antisocial. You said you prefer to be alone but people come to like you anyway. You hate it when your shield starts crumbling. And it angered you most when you realized it already crumbled because of her. She's one lucky girl, ne Syaoran?

You noticed I was worrying. As expected, you avoided my eyes. You're always selfless, not wanting us to worry about you even when you always worry for us.

Just with that look on your face, I already know you're upset because of her.

Don't get me wrong. I already let go of you. I already convinced myself that I'm not the one for you and you're not the one for me. I already made myself believe that. But I can't help it if I still feel something for you, can't I?

You always know of me as the type to act before thinking. This time, I did think. I thought that you need a friend and that I could be it.

"Syaoran, let's play a game shall we?"I suggested, standing up.

You eyed me with curiosity and I returned it with a smile.

"Stand up!" I said, making it sound like an order.

You did stand up. I smiled again. You're so adorable, always doing what I ask of you. Now that I think about it, it's one of the reasons I had a hard time letting you go.

"The game is called "Pretend." I said, sounding cheerful. You eyed me again, suspicious this time. I chuckled but stopped to compose myself.

I sighed, reminding myself I'm doing it for you.

"I'll pretend that I'm the girl you love the most." I announced and you looked like I just said the most unbelievable thing in the world.

"Meiling what are you-" you tried to interrupt me but I didn't let you. I took your hand and gave it a squeeze.

Did you feel it? That squeeze conveys, 'It's going to be okay.' It was the truth. I wanted things to be okay for you.

"I'll pretend that I'm her, the girl with the warm heart that caught hold of yours; the girl with the emerald eyes always cheering people on; the girl with the super energetic spirit. I'll pretend I'm Sakura Kinomoto." I said without a pause. It was all thanks to Tomoyo. I was already able to cry it all out so that I no longer hold hard feelings. After all, I can't hate you, not you, not her. You're both too good like that. And you care for me genuinely I can't bear to dislike you even if you hurt me.

"Li Syaoran, can you give me the world?" I asked and you looked shaken. I chuckled. "Again, you have to be serious Syaoran! How can Sakura accept your feelings if you won't let her know?"

"Meiling you don't need to-"

"It's okay." I said quickly, not letting you finish. "I've over you. Right now, I just wanted to help you guys, as your friend. Can't I do that?"

You eyed me and I felt you were searching for something in my eyes. I guess you did find it, because you smiled right after.

"Again." I encouraged. "Li Syaoran, can you give me the world?"

This time, you blushed like tomato, like you always do when you're busted for thinking of her.

"I- I-" you stuttered.

"Syaoran!" I scolded. Remind me again why I like you?

"I- I love you Sakura! I like you, ever since we fought the Sword Card! I guess, that's when I started to see the real you, always caring, selfless. It doesn't matter to you that you're in danger as long as your friends aren't hurt. It took me a while to understand how I feel about you, a long while I admit. But when I did, I realized I've already accepted you as the victor. I no longer wanted to compete with you. I wanted to support you, be there for you." You said. I've never seen you face your own emotions as boldly as you just did. She must have meant a lot to you, ne?

You look so determined, so- so strong willed. I chuckled. It's true I've never seen this side of you.

"I guess that would do."

You gave a deep sigh of relief and returned to sit on the swing. It sure took all your energy to utter all those things you just said about her.

"So, you're now ready to confess! Congratulations Syaoran!" I said.

You smiled- a rare smile. "Thank you Meiling. I owe you."

I returned it with a warm smile of my own.

Then I pulled you up. "Wait, this is no time to dilly dally! Get your butt up and go to her already! I won't tolerate procrastination! Go confess to her Syaoran! And as your thank you to me, I demand I be the first to know when she said yes! Are we clear?" I must have sounded like your mom.

You laughed, for real this time. I was glad I made you laugh. You're back on track Syaoran. That's good, for the both of us.

"Goodbye." I murmured.

"Thanks again Meiling!" you said, as you started running away.

Later I found myself sitting on the same swing, looking at your now empty seat. I just sat there, silently observing the surroundings. I must be in deep thought because it was already dark when I felt my cell phone ringing with a special tone.

"She said yes! Thanks again Meiling! I owe you!

–Syaoran"

It said.

I didn't know if it was while I was reading it or after but my sight started to blurry with salty liquid.

I found myself kneeling beside the swing, holding tightly to my cell phone with your message on the screen.

"I'm happy for you Syaoran. I'm happy for both you and Sakura. Believe me I am. But at the same time, I can't help but think that I just lost one of the best things that ever happened to me. Finally, you gave me a reason to move on from you Syaoran. I guess now, you'll stop being first in my heart. For now, you'll just take the place as my first love, my unrequited special love."