Title: Luna Blinked
Rating: PG
Pairings: Neville/Luna
Warning: Character Death
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: "I do blink," replied Luna. "But sometimes it changes things."
Author's Note: My first attempt at Neville/Luna. Originally written for th resolutions challenge over at the govtstoletoad LJ community. Much critique encouraged!

"Miss Lovegood?"

Luna blinked.

She was staring up at the white ceiling again. It was too bad, really. Before she blinked, she had been looking up at the moon, holding hands with… no one. It was no one, she told herself.

"Miss Lovegood? Luna?" She recognized that voice. It was the Healer. No, not Healer. Doctor. She kept having to remind herself. Sometimes it was difficult.

"Luna, are you listening?" Luna nodded slowly and turned to look at the Hea- doctor. To look at the doctor. He was sitting to the left of the bed, studying her closely. On the right of the bed, a nurse gripped her hand tightly.

"Where were you?" demanded the doctor.

"A field," she sighed dreamily. "There were fairies."

"And…?" he prompted.

"A boy," she replied. "I couldn't see him." The doctor gave a curt nod and made a few notes on his clipboard.

"The hallucinations are getting milder, Miss Lovegood," he said. "Within time, they'll be gone completely. You must try to remember to keep your mind focused." Luna tried to smile, but it was difficult. There wasn't much to smile about anymore. She thought perhaps her face had forgotten how to do it.

The doctor left without another word, and the nurse finished fussing with one of the machines and helped Luna sit up. "We have a special treat today, Miss Lovegood." Luna looked hopeful. Perhaps it was treacle tart. She loved treacle tart. Or perhaps one of the Ministry wizards had brought butterbeer with them on their rounds. Of all the magical things Luna missed, butterbeer was near the top of the list. She hadn't had it since just after her graduation from Hogwarts two Junes ago. Muggles just couldn't make it the same. The nurse had nearly pitched a fit when Luna asked for a butterbeer the first time, strictly informing her that beer had no place in an institution such as this. The second time, they had brought her a "root" beer. Luna liked the bubbles, but it still wasn't the same.

The Muggle world was very different than what Luna was used to. But there was no other option. St. Mungo's had been attacked the night before the Second Wizarding War ended. It would take ages to rebuild it. Emergency treatments were moved to the hospital wing at Hogwarts. Some long-term residents were moved into wizarding nursing homes. A few who didn't need excessive magical attention, Luna included, were moved into Muggle care centers with special arrangements from the Ministry. Luna didn't mind. There were people who needed more magical attention than she did and complaining was not something Luna did. But sometimes, she missed the magical conveniences.

"We have Christmas singers coming today!" the nurse exclaimed. Luna's thoughts were still slightly preoccupied with butterbeer, but she nodded and pulled her robe on. Christmas was always nice, even if the Muggles didn't have real fairy lights like the ones Professor Flitwick always had in his classroom. And Christmas carols were always lovely. Luna couldn't sing very well, but sometimes she imagined she could, and then she would be on a stage wearing a black dress and the piano would…

Stop that, Luna told herself. That's how the dreams start.

Luna lowered herself from the bed into her fluffy slippers and let the nurse lead her to the dining area. She caught sight of her reflection in the hall mirror and her lips turned down into even less of a smile. Beauty was not something Luna thought of often, and she had never considered herself to be pretty in the slightest. Pretty was something that Ginny Weasely was – had been, before the Final Battle. But Luna didn't even recognize herself anymore. She thought perhaps her cheeks looked so hollow due to the invisible Glapperong she was sure the Minister had planted there, but a more sensible person would probably say Luna was just lonely and needed to get outside. She lived well in the hospital and ate her share of every meal, but her skin still so pale that her veins showed through and a lack of visitors had left Luna with little desire to keep up more than a basic hygiene routine. Now, if she just imagined that her skin was white and smooth, and her hair was not quite as straggly, and that her hospital robe was really a fine silk dress robe, she could easily imagine she was being taken to a Yule Ball.

And waiting at the door was the handsome boy, with the dark eyes and dark hair, in the finest dress robes. Luna didn't notice those, though. She noticed the love in his eyes, and the sprig of holly on his lapel. He looped his arm through hers and Luna smiled, a big smile that wasn't difficult at all. Together they sauntered towards the ballroom, passing a courtyard. Luna glanced out, and spinning around the flower gardens were…

"Snorkacks!" Luna exclaimed. They weren't Crumple-Horned, unfortunately, but the pig-like animal was still mystical and beautiful. Luna made to enter the courtyard, but her escort pulled on her arm. "But, the Snorkacks…" she protested.

"Miss Lovegood!"

Luna blinked.

The nurse was pulling on her arm as Luna attempted to enter a broom closet. "The… Snorkacks?" Luna was quite confused for a moment before she realized what had happened. "It was a dream."

"They're not dreams, Miss Lovegood," the nurse sighed. "They're hallucinations."

"You'll tell the Hea- doctor. The doctor," Luna said. It wasn't a question. "He won't let me go to hear the singers." The nurse studied her for a moment.

"Well, you recognized right away that it wasn't real. He doesn't need to know right this moment," reasoned the nurse. "As a Christmas Eve present, I'll postpone it, what do you say?" Luna nodded and allowed the nurse to lead her the rest of the way.

They entered the dining area, which was almost full. Luna found a chair and settled herself in. The nurse made sure she was comfortable and then left, sliding to the back of the room with the rest of the hospital staff. It was quiet so far, but Luna knew soon the area would be filled with the joyous carols and the attempts of some of the patients to sing along.

Most of the other patients were Muggles, but Luna knew which ones were witches and wizards. There was Hestia Jones, who Luna knew was a member of the Order of the Phoenix. She was awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class, after the Final Battle, but had been hit quite frighteningly over the head by a nineteen foot giant. Hestia could no longer smile, laugh, or talk, and the pinkness in cheeks that seemed to be a trademark had faded into a sallow blur on her face. Then there was Elphias Doge. Luna tutted just at the thought of what happened to him. If she had only had some bile from the Umgubular Slashkilter, she could have easily have helped him. But those were only available in northern Mongolia, and they were rare, so poor Elphias was stuck learning how to walk again. Then Roger Davies, who had been a Ravenclaw, and Alicia Spinnet, a Gryffindor. They had all been attacked by Pogrebins outside of London and were suffering from consequential depression and infected scars. Then there were most of the patients from the long-term care unit of St. Mungo's, including Gilderoy Lockhart and the Longbottoms.

Luna was looking at the Longbottoms, who were sitting in wheelchairs close to the window, when she noticed a familiar face sitting between them and a stern-looking woman wearing a hat with a stuffed vulture on it. The hat reminded her of the Gryffindor Lion hat she used to have. Luna vaguely wondered where the hat had gotten to, but dismissed it as she tried to catch Neville Longbottom's eye. At that moment, however, the Christmas singers entered and began to sing.

Luna listened patiently through "O Come, All Ye Faithful" and "Winter Wonderland." She smiled when an elderly Muggle woman sang along to "O Holy Night." She even tapped her foot along to "Deck The Halls" and closed her eyes and sighed during "What Child Is This?" During "Winter Wonderland," she chanced to glance over at Neville, who was staring at his mother like he was expecting something from her. Mrs. Longbottom was, in turn, staring blankly at the wall. The song ended and the singers began "Silent Night." Neville inexplicably grabbed his mother's hand. She didn't respond. Luna watched as Neville whispered something to her, but Mrs. Longbottom didn't respond. Luna wondered if perhaps there was a Wrackspurt buzzing around the Longbottom's or if Neville simply did not remember that his mother never really responded.

When the second verse started, Neville stood up and left so quickly that Luna was glad she had not blinked. Careful, as to not disturb anyone around her, Luna stood up and made to follow him. The nurse stepped forward to stop her, but Luna motioned towards Neville and smiled delicately. With a permissive nod, the nurse waved for Luna to go.

Neville was sitting on a chair in the corridor, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Luna stood in front of him for a few moments, staring down at the back of his head.

"Neville Longbottom," she said dreamily. "I haven't seen you here before."

He looked up and Luna noticed his eyes were slightly red. It took a moment before she saw recognition hit in his eyes and he stood up and grabbed her hand.

"Luna!" he exclaimed softly. "It's been ages."

"Since the War," replied Luna, shaking his hand. "I've been in here since then."

Neville frowned. "Why?" he asked. "You seem… normal." At Luna's expression, he added, "Well, normal for you." They both smiled and sat down.

"Your parents are here," she stated.

"Yes," replied Neville.

"Do you only visit them at Christmas?"

Neville looked away. "I visit when I can. It's hard." Luna stared at him until he turned to face her. "What?"

She shook her head. "It's nice to see someone I know from before. Someone who can talk." Luna let her head tilt upwards. "I get rather lonely sometimes, you know. I think maybe that's part of my problems."

There was a pause, then, "Luna, why are you in here? If we – you know, Harry and Ron and Hermione and everyone – if we'd've known, we would've come to see you. Everybody thought you had gone to Sweden to hunt for those Rumple-Haired Racksacks or whatever."

"Crumple-Horned Snorkacks."

"Right."

"Why did you leave during the singing?"

"That doesn't matter."

Luna turned to stare at Neville again. He stared back. "I think it matters."

"Well, it doesn't."

"I thought the singing was lovely. Was it hurting your ears? Maybe they had a Banshire Harkdaudle in their choir."

"A what? No, that's… I left because that was my mother's favorite carol."

"I like it, too."

Neville sighed. "You wouldn't understand." Luna kept staring at him. "Don't you ever blink?"

"I do," replied Luna. "But sometimes it changes things." Neville looked confused, but she paid no mind to it. Neville didn't seem to want to talk about the singing, so she changed the subject. "What have you been doing since the War?"

"I… I work in a greenhouse." Neville blushed slightly. "It's nothing huge but it pays the bills and… welll…" he trailed off.

"You were quite clever when it came to Herbology," Luna remembered. "I liked Herbology, too."

"I didn't know that."

"I miss my garden," sighed Luna. "There was a Jobberknoll nest on the far end. I didn't mind them so much. But I wanted to get rid of the Glumbumbles, they kept the bees away and some of the flowers wouldn't bloom. My father thought they were useful, though. What do you grow in your greenhouse?"

"Medical plants, mostly. A lot of Mandrakes," replied Neville. "We supply a lot of plants to Durmstrang, seeing as it's too cold for them to grow their own and Hogwarts doesn't need our plants."

"Miss Lovegood?" Luna looked up at the nurse. "The singing is over. It's recreation time, if you'd like to know."

"Thank you," said Luna softly.

"Mr. Longbottom, we're taking your parents back to their room. I don't think they're quite up to visitors today," the nurse told him. Neville nodded and rose.

"I should go," he said to Luna. "My gran, you know…"

"I'm crazy, Neville." He stopped and gaped at her. "I didn't want people to know. Please don't tell them that I'm here."

Luna Lovegood was not stupid. She knew what people called her. She had been Looney Lovegood since Hogwarts. Everyone thought Looney Lovegood was at least a little bit crazy, what with her unwavering belief in creatures most people thought to be figments of her imagination. Her placement in the mental health home was enough to confirm that she had absolutely no credibility, and Luna knew that even though some of her dreams weren't real, some of the things she believed were. There were Crumple-Horned Snorkacks. More than just her believed in them. For that reason, and because she knew she responsible for a terrible loss during the Final Battle, Luna wanted absolutely no one else to know she was here. She could trust Neville – he had always been a good friend. But no one else would understand.

"I… I won't, Luna." Neville offered his hand to her and helped her up from the chair. "But I know everyone would love to see you."

Luna smiled her thin smile. "That's nice of you," she said. "I'm used to being lonely, and I think everyone's very busy at this time of year anyway. Happy Christmas, Neville."

She watched him walk down the corridor and stop at the Longbottom's room to meet his grandmother. As they turned to go to the lift, Neville glanced back and waved at Luna. She lifted her slender arm in a shy wave and walked toward the recreation area after he was out of her sight.

-.-.-.-

"Miss Lovegood?"

Luna blinked.

She was staring at the screen of the personal computer her father had brought her the Christmas before. She had been reading the news, apparently. The nurse was standing at the end of her bed.

"Miss Lovegood, were you hallucinating?" Luna tried to clear her mind of the foggy remnants of her dream.

"There was a boy, again," she told the nurse. "And a dance. I think it was the rest of my dream from yesterday." The nurse shook her head and made a quick note on the card she was carrying.

"You have a visitor," she said.

Luna's protuberant eyes looked at the nurse in surprise. "I don't get visitors."

The nurse chuckled. "It's Christmas, Miss Lovegood, many people have visitors. Come on, now."

Luna slipped out of her bed and into her fluffy slippers and followed the nurse out the door. In the dining area, sitting quietly, she saw Neville Longbottom. He stood when he saw her, but waited until the nurse had walked out of earshot before he spoke.

"Happy Christmas, Luna."

"Happy Christmas."

"I don't want to intrude on your Christmas, but…"

"That's alright. It's my first Christmas without Daddy."

Neville shifted awkwardly. "I thought you might be lonely."

"I'm lonely quite often, you know. It was thoughtful of you to come."

"Well, you know, everyone wanted to spend Christmas with their families and Gran wanted to visit my Great Uncle Algie and Great Aunt Enid, but I… well, I didn't really fancy tagging along."

"That's alright. It's nice to have a visitor on Christmas. Just like I'm someone normal." Luna knew Neville wouldn't have much of a response for her, so she continued. "Would you like to play chess with me? It's not quite the same as wizard's chess, but I can never get anyone to play with me."

"Alright, I guess," said Neville. Luna led him toward the recreation area.

"I don't think being normal all the time would be very fun," continued Luna as they walked. "But having normal things happen is sometimes very refreshing. Don't you think so?"

"I guess. I think I'm pretty normal, though."

"Oh, you're not normal. I don't think I know many normal people." They arrived at the recreational area and sat at a table.

"I might just be boring, then."

"You're not boring. I find you interesting. Almost everyone is at least a little bit interesting. Well, maybe not someone like Professor Binns. But he wasn't normal, either." Luna set up the chess board. Neville stared at it.

"How do you make the pieces move?" he asked, picking up a pawn and examining it.

"With your hands," Luna said vaguely. She smiled thinly. "You have first move."

Luna concentrated quietly for most of the game. She and Neville fell into an amiably silence. It was only when Neville had captured her queen and Luna was deciding whether to sacrifice her knight or her rook that she began to hum absentmindedly. She had hummed her way through half of the second verse before she realized what she was humming, and that it was probably bothering Neville. Abruptly, she stopped.

"I forgot," she said simply.

"That's alright." They were quiet for a few more moves. "My mother used to hum along whenever she heard it. It was the only time I ever heard her sing or talk or anything. She didn't do it yesterday."

"That's why you left."

"Yeah."

They didn't talk again until Luna had put Neville's king in checkmate. "Sometimes I see things that aren't real."

"Like Snorblags?"

"Snorkacks. And no. Like dreams." Neville glanced up at her, confused.

"Everyone has dreams, Luna. That's perfectly… well, normal." Luna shook her head and began to place each chess piece back into the box.

"Not these ones. I have them when I'm awake." Neville stared at her, his bewilderment obvious. "I'm sick, Neville. I see things that aren't there. The Heal- doctors," she laughed airily, "someday I'll get it right. The doctors said that Daddy had the same problem, and that I probably had it but it didn't show until the Final Battle." He looked up at her sharply, but Luna continued as she placed each piece of the set back into its box. "They said that trauma caused an attack, and that I hallucinated, and that's why Professor Lupin died."

"That wasn't your fault." Neville's voice broke a bit. Luna detected a bit of shock in his voice, but dismissed it. People were often shocked by the things she said. "The things that happened… they were no one's fault."

"Oh, it was my fault," sighed Luna, lightly placing the checkered board on top of the pieces in the box. "I wish it weren't, but Professor Lupin asked me to cover him, and that's when I had my first dream. It was a quite enchanting one." She closed the box with a resounding snap. "He died shortly after it began."

"That doesn't mean it's your fault. You couldn't help the hallucination."

"I suppose," Luna agreed serenely. "But I still wish it hadn't happened. Professor Lupin was always nice to me. I didn't want him to die."

"Sometimes things we don't want to happen do anyway."

"I should have probably known that. I didn't want the War to happen, either." She stared out the window, taking in for the first time how grey it was outside. Luna wished it was safe for her to imagine that it was sunny out, but that could lead to something else, and she'd rather not have a dream while Neville was here.

"I'm sorry, Luna." She looked back slowly at Neville. He had stood up and was staring at his hands, clasped on the back of the chair. "I just…" He stopped. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," replied Luna. "I didn't want anyone to know. If people knew I was here, they'd think everything I said was just a dream." She smiled her thin little smile. "Crumple-Horned Snorkacks are real, you know. I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Neville smiled at her sadly. "I know."

Luna stood up and walked over to the window. "Will you come to visit again?" she asked, staring down at the snow-covered courtyard. Secretly, she had been hoping since first spotting Neville at the singing yesterday that he would. But Luna knew better than to hope for things too much.

"Yeah, I… of course, Luna."

"I get so lonely sometimes." She turned and smiled at him, a real smile, that felt wonderful on her face. "It'd be like being friends again, just like before the War."

Mentally, Luna scolded herself as Neville stared at her. She always made people feel so awkward. She was about to say something else, to fill the silence, when he moved forward.

"Luna, I'm going to make you better and I'm going to get you out of here," he stated quietly. There was a look in his eye, a defiant, resolute, utterly Gryffindor look. Luna had seen it sometimes when Neville was working especially hard at the DA meetings and during especially tense Order meetings. It was like he cared about her, Luna thought, and it was always nice to have someone care.

"I think that would be lovely," responded Luna quietly. Neville smiled at her.

She saw Neville every day after that.

-.-.-.-.-

"Luna?"

Luna blinked.

"Yes, Neville?"

"I think we should plant some puffapods in spring. To brighten up the garden."

He was reading the copy of Magical Herbs and Their Medical Properties Luna had given him that Christmas as she browsed the news on her personal computer. She peeked over at the book and tried to read the magical properties of puffapods. The words "anxiety" and "hallucination" popped out at her before Neville turned the book away from her eyes.

"I don't suppose the Muggles will notice them too much?" Luna asked him. Neville shrugged and turned back to his book.

Luna grew thoughtful for a moment. They had moved into a small Muggle house in a town south of Surrey, and she was quite sure that puffapods would not be too suspicious in their garden. They didn't get too many Muggle visitors, and besides, she was quite sure they could pass the plant off as some sort of exotic flower. And Neville was just looking out for her best interest. In case the dreams ever came back.

"They'd be quite pretty, you know," she finally said. "If we plant them in the corner, beside the rose bush, don't you think?" Neville looked back at her, but Luna turned her focus back to the news she was reading on her personal computer.

She had spent her entire stay at the Muggle care center wishing for some of the magical comforts she was used to (when she was finally well enough to move out of the center and in with Neville, the first thing she had done was drink two pints of butterbeer), she couldn't leave her personal computer behind. Muggles had such interesting news and such interesting ways of communicating it. She supposed that she and Neville could have just taken a subscription to the local newspaper, but the computer was the last present she had received from her father and she did like the strange Muggle device. Besides, it saved paper.

They were silent for a few more minutes before Neville yawned loudly and moved closer to Luna, leaving his book unattended to gaze over her shoulder at the news.

"Did you know Muggles make New Year's resolutions?" Luna told him, referencing the article she was reading. "They make promises to themselves at the New Year and try to spend the next year doing them."

"I suppose the new year would be the best time to make a resolution," replied Neville. "What kind of promises do they make?"

"To lose weight, to quit smoking, to just be a better person," Luna read from the list. "Oh, but it says here most people don't keep their resolutions. That's too bad. I think it would be nice to have a New Year's resolution, don't you?"

Neville wrapped an arm around Luna's shoulders. "Some people keep their resolutions," he told her. "Remember last year?" Luna stared at him. "I resolved to get you out of that place and to make you better, and I did, didn't I?"

A slow smile crept on Luna's face. "You are wonderful, Neville Longbottom."

He blushed slightly. "I guess." He pulled her closer to him and tilted her head up. "I love you, you know, Luna."

Luna leaned up to kiss him.

"Luna!"

She blinked and ran to catch up with Neville.

"Neville, I think the Blibbering Humdingers might really be here!" she exclaimed. "Can you imagine when I tell Hermione? All those years, and she's never believed me."

"I didn't know Blibbering Humdingers lived in Australia," said Neville. He wrapped his hand around hers as they walked through a grassy meadow.

"Neither did I, but it would make perfect sense. You know how they love to eat Billywigs, and they're native to Australia, and there's a whole huge nest of them back there, and it's July. That's when the Humdingers are most active, you know."

"A nest of Billywigs? How can you tell?"

"Well, they fly so fast, you know, but when they land you can see them, and there's a whole bunch of them landed around a nest in that grove of trees back there. Please, Neville, can we please go back and watch? I'm sure that a Blibbering Humdinger will eventually come to feed!" She stared up at him, and he stared back.

"I guess," he finally said, smiling at her. She grinned and dragged Neville back to where she had seen the nest. They stood behind the small grove, and Luna watched intently as if a Blibbering Humdinger could pop out at any moment.

"Luna," Neville said eventually. "Can't these Billywigs sting us?"

"Of course," replied Luna, still gazing expectantly at the nest.

"Well, isn't this a bit dangerous then?"

"The stings will only cause a bit of levitation," Luna told him. "It's nothing serious."

"Well, are you sure?" Neville sounded so worried that Luna tore her gaze away from the nest and smiled at him.

"Of course I'm sure. Watch, I'll get one to sting me and you'll see."

"Luna, don't!" But Luna just laughed lightly and crept towards the nest. No sooner had she gone a few feet than a buzzing erupted and she felt a Billywig sting her on her forearm. She had ran all the way back to Neville before she started floating.

"It's fun, Neville, don't worry!" Neville grabbed her hand and tried to pull her back down.

"Luna, really!" He admonished. She smiled and he shook his head, pulling her in for a kiss. "You're going to get hurt one day."

Luna's feet dropped to the ground, but she still felt like she was floating.

"I love you, Neville Longbottom."

"Miss Lovegood?"

Luna blinked.

She was staring up at a white ceiling. Frowning, she tried to sit up, but a nurse held her down and was pressing on a needle in Luna's forearm.

"She's awake, Healer."

"What… where am I?" Luna looked around. This wasn't her room at home. It wasn't even her room at the care center. The nurse holding her down wasn't even the same one she usually had.

"You're in St. Mungo's, Luna," the nurse said. Luna saw that the Heal- doctor – no, Healer – was wearing lime green robes and was standing over her bed anxiously.

"Where's Neville?" she asked. The Healer sighed and shook his head.

"Oh, Luna, you were doing so well, too!" the nurse exclaimed sadly. "It's always at Christmas that you have these relapses!"

"Luna," the Healer said quietly. "You've had a hallucination. Neville Longbottom has been dead for four years. He died during the Final Battle. Remus Lupin died trying to save him from a Death Eater. You have been in here since the Second War ended."

"That's not right." Luna shook her head. "We were in Australia. We were watching for the Humdingers. I was stung by a Billywig." She moved to show her forearm to the Healer, but the nurse held her down.

"It was a much more intense hallucination than you usually have, Miss Lovegood," the Healer told her with a sigh. "You were under its influence for much longer than usual. We were afraid you wouldn't come back from that one." The nurse handed her what smelled like a Calming Draught. Luna drank it slowly, staring at the Healer the entire time. "This won't be easy, but we need to find out as much about this as we can right now. Tell me about your hallucination, Luna."

Luna opened her mouth to speak, but she found she couldn't. There was no way to express how happy she had felt with Neville, no way to explain that it didn't even feel like a dream, and no way to show the crushing, hollow feeling she found in her chest. How could she explain to the doc- Healer that it had been so much more than just some hallucination? She had felt every one of Neville's touches, felt happiness and sadness and a devastating sense of loneliness when he wasn't there. It wasn't a dream while it was happening. It was only a dream now, now that she couldn't remember anything besides Neville's dark eyes and strong arms and only a few of the events that must have happened.

She knew what the next question would be, but she didn't think she could tell the doctor how she felt. She couldn't. When Luna's mother had died, and when Luna's father had died, she had been sad. She had known, however, that one day she'd see them again. Luna supposed she must have mourned when Neville died during the war, but how could she mourn him again – this new Neville, who had swept her away from her illness? How could she mourn something she'd lost that she'd never had in the first place?

"Miss Lovegood?"

Luna closed her eyes and started to cry.