Love Is a Losing Game.
by ~music4ever2010

"I'm I really about to do this?"
Byakuya was finishing some work up in the sixth division office for Renji to return from training with Ichigo. He had kept his emotions pent up for too long and was finally going to tell Renji that he loved him. He paused from his work as he heard someone run inside the door,
"Captain, Hey Captain! I have wonderful news!" Renji shouted as he ran into the office with Ichigo in tow,
"Welcome and what may that be?" he looked up to face them.
A small blush appeared on his face as he made eye contact with Ichigo and Renji. They were wearing their usual uniform but there tops were remove. Their sweat made their bodies glisten in the moon light that shined in the office. Byakuya took advantage of the sight in front of his eyes, his mind race at what he could do to that body if he could make it his.
"Captain?"
Byakuya look up at Renji. "I'm sorry did you say something?"
"I said I asked Rukia to marry me and she said yes. Aren't you excited!"
Byakuya looked up Renji as he felt his heart breaking into a million pieces.. He felt like running out the room but fought against it as he stared at him in disbelief.
"That great Renji,right!" Ichigo turned to Byakuya who nodded his head in agreement. He finally collected himself to choke out some words.
"That is great. Congratulations!"
Renji began to talk to Ichigo about the wedding plan that him and Rukia set up. Byakuya lowered his head as he felt his world crash around him. He had lost his chance to love again. Not to a stranger or to death but to his own sister. He felt the jealousy and rage build up in his chest as he thought about it,
I should have let her died when I had the chance. He look into Renji eyes and the rage melted away. He saw the light of happiness and excitement in his eyes as he talk about his plans.
But if I did then there wouldn't have even been a chance for us. No, it's nobody fault but mine that I let him get away.
He put his head into his hands as he felt a burning sensation begin to form at his eyes.
"Captain, are you alright? Why are you crying?"
"I am not crying."
"Yes you are, can't you feel the tears."
Byakuya look up at them in confusion as he reached his hand up to touch his face. He felt a wet substance run down his face.
"So I am.", Have I been crying this whole time, "It must be tears of happiness." He wiped the tears from his eyes as he stood from his desk. He walked towards his room and stopped. He looked at Renji with tearful eyes.
"Welcome to the family Renji, but if you would excuse me I would like to collect my things before I head home." he slipped into back room and locked the door. The two of them stood in silence as they looked at the door.
"Is he okay?"
"I'm sure he's fine."
They began to walked out the door. Ichigo head remain facing the entrance of Byakuya's room. His insides turned as he thought about the noble.
"Are you sure-"
"Ichigo trust me he is fine. Now let's go I bet Rukia and Orihime are waiting on us. Now come on." Renji shouted before he flash step away from the office. Ichigo look towards the window for one last time before joining him.
Byakuya closed the curtain to his window as they left. "I'm stupid for even thinking it would even work." He walk over to his mini bar and pour a cup of sake, he downed a glass in one gulp. The new burning senation of the liquid sent chills through out his body releasing some pain but not all. He pick the bottle up again and pour another cup as he continued to talk to himself.
"Of course, he wouldn't be interested in me. I'm a man. His boss for Pete's sake!" He look back up at a picture of Renji and his squad. He turn the picture over facing it flat on the desk He down one more glass of sake as he felt more fresh hot tears run down his face. He tries to wipe them away but after many attempts he just lets them fall.
"Damn this!" he threw the bottle of sake towards the wall as he walk to the outside balcony. He looked up into the night sky as the moon light seemed to wash over him.
"Have I not suffered enough? Don't I deserve love too?" He rested his head on the rail as he heard a rumble from the sky. He sat up and look back up in the sky as the bottom fell out soaking him to his core.
"Why do I even try at love when all I do is get hurt" He screamed to the sky"Is it because of my past decisions? I've always put other first over my own. Why do I have to suffer!" He reached towards his head as he grabbed his Keynesian and slung it. He place his head back into his hands as he thought about his past two loves..
"Why is love a losing game?"