A/N : This is my second fanfiction. I gave up on my first one because it just didn't seem to flow. I feel like I have to write this one though. It means a lot to me because it's based on a true story. I hope other people will enjoy this story as much as I do. I promise I won't give up on this one!

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan Schneider, but if I was, this would definently be an episode of Victorious

Cat POV

CHAPTER 1 : The Life Like Hell

Life is the hardest thing in the world. I don't understand how people can live like life's the best thing ever. But I learned that, no one has an easy life. It's the way you look at life that makes it what it is. I try so hard to look at my life like nothing matters but rainbows, unicorns, and happiness. That only seems to make it worse. Everyone thinks I'm some crazy bi-polar weirdo. I'm only like this to try to keep my life easier, but it's only making it harder.

There are also many things I can't seem to grasp in this messed up world I live in. Things like love. Love isn't just a heart. Love isn't just a person either. I don't think I'll ever expirience love the way that some people do. Some people make love look so easy, and that's what makes their life look so easy.

Maybe if I found love, it would make my life easy as well. I thought killing myself would make it all better. Not having to worry about the pain in my heart. I'd never be able to do it though because of the pain it would bring to my body. Maybe I deserve pain though. Maybe that's why my life isn't easy. Maybe it's because I don't deserve life.

All these thoughts ran through my mind as I sat on the bathroom floor in the school that brought me torcher. I curled up in a ball and cried. Why does the world hate me so much? What did I ever do to it? All I've done is try to be happy, but I guess that's not what the world wants me to have. All i've ever wanted is happiness.

My terrible life began in middle school. I've never really fit in, and that was okay because I never wanted to be the same as everyone else. Sometimes, I guess people thought I was a little too different. I felt like everyone was out to get me. I took everything in an offensive way, and usually, it was offending.

Nobody was here to support me, except for my very few friends who I knew secretly hated me. I used to tell them everything, and then mysteriously, a week later, the whole school would know about everything I told them. My life got worse through 7th grade, just when I thought it was getting better. Nobody talked to me, but I was okay with that. Then, suddenly in the middle of the year, everyone called me a whore because I wore short shorts to school one day.

Over the summer, I began to fall in love with something. It was a different kind of love than the love that makes life easier, but at least it was some form of love. I fell in love with music, broadway, and just performing. I couldn't stop singing no matter where I went.

I went into the 8th grade feeling better about myself because I knew I had something nobody could take away from me. It was passion. I took many lessons, that my mom willingly paid for so she could get me out of the house. My mom was okay at sometimes, but most times, she just wanted time to herself, and her creepy boyfriend.

Music got me through a lot. It was one of the only reasons that I was still alive. That, and the fact that I can't stand pain.

I still got shoved around and bullied. Gym was my least favorite time of the day because kids would shove me in the showers and turn the water on, so I was soaking wet. I skipped that class several times and just sat outside the school beside the big oak tree that kept me company when I was upset.

The first month of 8th grade went by and I wasn't so sure that music could continue getting me through this year. Things kept getting worse and worse. I had finally gotten used to the idea of pain. In fact, it began to sound glorious compared to my life. I began to cut. It seemed to make my life more real. To actually feel something.

That's when the new girl showed up. She was the only person who seemed to have a life almost as bad as mine. It wasn't that people made fun of her, they learned their lesson the first time they did that. But it was the fact that no one liked her, and people were to scared to even get near her. She had brunette hair, it looked like sweet milk chocolate to me. Her eyes were a emerald green, and seemed to change colors in the sunlight. She was the most beutiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. More beutiful than any music ever created. Her name was Jade West.