"'Stars Under the Stars,'" Melanie read from the newly-posted flier in the girls' bathroom. "Wow, that sounds super lame. I mean, prom themes are usually pretty lame-ass, but that is definitely in the top ten for boringness."
"It's not too bad," Ginny said, checking her hair in the mirror. "It's like the perfect combination of classy and casual."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. The stars part is nice because everyone has to dress up like celebrities which, unless you're Helena Bonham Carter, means gorgeous dresses and tuxes and immaculate hairstyles. But the under the stars part means I won't have to wear heels the whole night."
"I'll take your word for it."
Melanie held the door open for Ginny when they were both ready to go to homeroom, having just missed the huge last-minute rush of people herding into their classrooms.
"Wait, does this mean someone asked you?" she asked her blonde friend.
"Not yet. But I think Derric Keele is going to ask me."
"Derric Keele from your chemistry class? The one with enormous ears?"
"They're not that big. Besides, I haven't heard any word that anyone else wants to take me and I don't want to be alone while Boo and Carl and Sasha and Roman and you and Cozette are all disgusting and couple-y all night."
"You're late, girls," Mrs. Stevenson admonished. "Sit down, the announcements are about to start."
No one ever listened to the announcements. Normally they just said boring things like that the school's mathletes had lost another match and that the basketball team was looking for a water boy. Mel and Ginny sat down next to Boo and Sasha and continued their conversation.
"I don't even know if Cozette and I are going to the prom," Mel said. "We haven't talked about it."
"Wait, you might not go?" Boo asked. "But it's like...the pinnacle of high school! You have to go!"
"Yeah, when else are you going to be able to get away with wearing a $500 dollar dress all night?" Sasha asked. "Normally I think school dances are a total waste of time and money, but I'm not going to be seventeen forever. I want to feel like a princess for a night before the crushing realization of how mind-numbing and soul-sucking reality actually is sets in."
"Thanks, Wednesday."
"Just keeping it real."
"I'm not sure we'd be allowed in."
"Oh yeah." Boo's face clouded. "I hadn't thought of that."
"But we've gone to dances together as girls tons of times," Ginny said. "It's not like it'd be any different."
"Those were just random dances," Sasha countered. "We haven't gone to any of the big ones stag or with a platonic girlfriend. People have a sixth sense about girlfriends who are just friends and girlfriends who are actually girlfriends and can be real assholes about it."
"You could ask someone," suggested Boo.
"Just waltz into the front office and say, 'Excuse me, good madam, would it be perfectly all right if I brought my significant other of the same gender to junior prom?'" Mel scoffed.
"Better to ask beforehand instead of getting turned away at the door," Ginny pointed out. "That would be pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever."
"I think that happened to some guy and his boyfriend a few years ago," Sasha mused. "Although it might be an urban legend, like fluoride in the water or Bigfoot."
"Ughhh." Mel laid her head down on her desk. "I quit. Being a lesbian is too complicated. I'll dress up in a tux and slap on a mustache and we'll go that way."
"We'll ask around," Ginny said. "Find out if anyone knows what the policy on gay couples is. In the meantime, maybe you should find out how Cozette feels. And if she doesn't want to go, she has to come dress shopping with us."
"Oh yeah?"
"Don't look at me like that. I haven't made a disparaging comment about her in forever, and I trust her sense of fashion more than I trust yours or Boo's or Sasha's."
Sasha let out an indignant "hey!" but Boo and Melanie just nodded because they knew it was true.
"So find out soon because I want to buy my dress asap."
"Who are you even going with?"
"Derric Keele."
"Big Ears Keele? Seriously?"
Mel rolled her eyes and opened Lord of the Flies to finish the chapters that were due next period. As much as teenage boys murdering each other on a desert island didn't appeal to her, it was more exciting than listening to her friends making prom plans.
XXXXXX
During lunch Sasha and Boo immediately asked Roman and Carl what their budget was for prom night and if a limo could be involved at all. Ginny listened attentively, sometimes forgetting about her food when it was halfway to her mouth and consequently dropped quite a lot of jello in her lap.
As soon as the "p" word was dropped, Mel gave her girlfriend a quick glance to see how she reacted. Cozette caught her looking and winked.
"Why the furtive glance?"
"I was trying to gauge your reaction," confessed Melanie. "How do you feel about prom?"
"Part of me thinks it's a rite of passage and part of me thinks it's an excuse to create drama of epic proportions. A knife fight broke out in the parking lot at the last prom I went to."
"Holy crap."
"I know, it was insane. The police showed up and we had to stay inside the hot and sweaty gym while they tried to figure out what happened." Cozette slipped her hand into Mel's under the table. "But enough about my traumatic experience, what about you? Do you want to go?"
"Dances aren't really my thing."
"But you're such a good dancer!"
"Thanks, Mom," Mel teased, squeezing Cozette's hand. "I'm an all right ballerina, but I'm not so good at the street moves or the slow dancing. And I'm not sure that couples like us are allowed."
"That's definitely something to consider. Let's think about it, all right? I don't care either way. I've already had a prom experience, but I'd love to go with you if you want one."
Melanie sighed, relieved and once again grateful for how chill her girlfriend was. She was decisive when she needed to be, but never went crazy over things that seemed small to Mel. Not that prom was small. She just hadn't decided how she felt about it yet.
XXXXXX
"Ginny, try this one on."
It was Saturday afternoon and the girls were dress shopping at "Lucy's Closet" in the mall in Oxnard. Well, Boo, Sasha, and Ginny were dress shopping. Melanie was lounging on a bench, playing on her phone, and Cozette was helping the girls find flattering and reasonably priced formal wear.
"I still feel a little guilty that we didn't go to 'Sparkles,'" Boo said, tugging at the top of a strapless orange dress.
"Don't feel bad." Sasha, looking very good in a scarlet dress, admired her reflection. "She's always swamped this time of year because everyone goes to her."
"She doesn't have this kind of selection either," Ginny added from her changing room.
When Ginny emerged, Cozette studied the girls, her dark eyes taking in every detail of their ensembles.
"Boo, the cut of that one is just right for your body, but orange isn't your best color. Go see if you can find that dress in pink or baby blue. Sasha, the color is right, but you don't fill it out right in the bust area. Don't scowl at me, you need something that highlights your slenderness, not your lack of boobs. Try this one on. And Ginny, turn around for me. You're going to be wearing heels, right? Hmm. What do you think?"
"It fits fine, but I'm not wild about it."
"Me neither. See if you can find something shorter. Something with more bounce."
Mel was dying an hour later. She'd beaten her record in Fruit Ninja three time and still Boo was waffling between two dresses, Sasha was arguing with Cozette that she could totally stuff her bra if her lack of boobs was going to be a problem and railing against The Man and his obsession with huge racks, and Ginny still hadn't found anything she completely adored.
"I don't know why you're all being so picky," Melanie said. "My grandpa says that guys don't care what you're wearing at a dance, they're thinking about what's underneath. And not in a 'she has a beautiful soul' way."
"It's not just a guy thing," Cozette tossed a saucy wink over her shoulder at her girlfriend.
"Get a room!" Sasha pretended to gag.
"Whatever, like you and Roman are any better." Mel stood up. "I'm bored and hungry. I'm going to get a churro and if you guys aren't done when I come back I'm walking home. I'll take dying of thirst in the desert over this any day."
Churro-rama was at the other end of the mall, but the distance didn't bother Mel because it gave her something to do. She nodded at the goths and emo kids coming out of Hot Topic, ogled at the life-size animatronic T-Rex in Bickenstaff's window, and threw fifty cents in pennies into the fountain. She'd just taken her first bite of her delicious, warm, cinnamon-y churro when she saw it.
She finished her snack in a few big bites and raced back to "Lucy's Closet."
"Sorry, guys," she said, grabbing her girlfriend's arm, "this is an emergency."
"Mel, where are we going? Did the churro change your life? You could've brought one to me instead of the other way around."
When they were around the corner from it, Mel covered Cozette's eyes with her hands.
"Mel, what—"
"Hold on, it'll make sense in a sec, I promise. Walk forward. I know what we can do instead of going to prom. We can still enjoy a dark atmosphere and get all sweaty and listen to loud music, but this is ten thousand times cooler."
"We're not old enough to go clubbing."
"This is even better because we don't have to interact with or get touched by people we don't know or hate."
Melanie uncovered Cozette's eyes.
"Ta da!"
Cozette looked up at the sign.
LASER QUEST- GRAND OPENING NEXT WEEK!
"Melanie Segal, I do believe I'm in love with you." Cozette gave her a quick kiss. "Laser tag is way cooler than a school dance! It's cheaper, too, and we don't have to worry about getting a dress!"
"You think it's a good idea then?"
"I think it's probably the best idea anyone's ever had."
"Cozette, will you go to laser prom with me?"
"Why, Melanie, my dear, I would be delighted."
XXXXXX
All too soon, the night of prom arrived. The girls had decided to all get ready at Sasha's apartment so there wouldn't be any awkward encounters with parents. (Mrs. Thompson and Mrs. Jordan nearly lost it when the girls announced their plans, but were satiated with the promise of lots and lots of pictures.) Mel and Cozette were there for moral support, Mel zipping zippers and getting hair accessories and Cozette finishing up make-up and perfecting hairstyles. When everyone was ready and they were walking outside to where the boys were waiting to pick them up, Sasha tried one more time to get the couple to come.
"Last chance for you two to choose to be young adults instead of freakin' pre-teen dorks."
"Are you kidding? If being a young adult means not being able to breathe and hairspraying my hair like I don't care about the ozone, I'll pass." Mel made a face.
"We'll be grown ups soon enough," Cozette said. "If the dance gets too lame, you should come join us. We'll be there all night."
"Suit yourself." Sasha shrugged. "Ready to go, Boo? Ginny?"
"Yep."
"Ready."
Cozette and Melanie waved as they drove off.
"Remember who you are!" Mel called. "Protect your carnal treasure!"
"You're worse than their moms."
"And proud of it. Now let's go!"
XXXXXX
"How much for four hours?" Mel asked the attendant at the front desk of Laser Quest.
"You over sixteen?"
The girls nodded.
"Eight dollars each hour for kids over sixteen, so thirty-two bucks apiece."
"Perfect." Cozette handed him her debit card. "Way cheaper than prom."
"And we didn't have to buy dresses either."
"Sign this." The attendant handed Cozette the receipt. "You don't mind playing with other people, right?"
"Nope."
"We got a kid's birthday party booked for two hours and then we'll just send in whoever else comes after that. Here are your cards for the first game. Come back and get new ones for each one."
"Sweet."
He directed them to the briefing chamber where a bunch of sugared-up nine-year-olds were poking each other and and talking loudly and laughing at how funny they looked underneath the black light. Cozette and Melanie stayed toward the back of the room, thinking that maybe prom would've been less potentially hazardous than this mob of children.
"Welcome to Laser Quest," said an over-enthusiastic twenty-something guy. "My name's Mike and I'll be moderating your game today. Who here has never played laser tag before?"
To Mel's surprise, Cozette raised her hand along with a handful of nine-year-olds.
"You've never played before?" she murmured.
"Never, but don't worry. I'll still kick ass." Cozette nudged her playfully.
"Well we have some rules to go over before I let you loose. First of all, no running. You may speed walk, you may crouch, you may stand stock still, but you may not run. Do not hit the other players with your gun. Do not punch other players. Do not kick them. That's what the laser is for. You get points for hitting the other players' sensors here, here, and here" he pointed the chest, back, and shoulders of a black vest "and the points will be tallied up at the end of the game. Do not block your sensors. Anyone caught blocking them will be ejected immediately. Do not climb on the outside of the walls. If you suffer from asthma or epilepsy, please be aware that we do use fog machines and strobe lights and they will more than likely trigger a reaction.
"You will be divided randomly into two teams, the blue team and the red team. Each team has a base where the players must go to refill their ammo. You'll know you're out of ammo when your laser makes a clicking noise like this. You can still get shot when you're out of firepower, so be aware. To refill you have to hold your chest sensor under the big glowing unit and wait for five seconds. Any questions?"
The nine-year-olds shook their heads emphatically, ready to get on with the game. Mel looked at Cozette questioningly, but she shook her head too.
"All right. Those with red cards, get your gear over here. Those with blue cards, get your gear over there."
"Looks like we're enemies," Mel said, looking at her red card and Cozette's blue card.
"So it seems. Sure you don't want to ditch and go dance?"
"Not on your life. I'll see you in hell, private!"
Once everyone had strapped their vests on and gotten used to the weight of their surprisingly heavy plastic lasers, Mike let the blue team go first since their base was further from the opening. Cozette saluted Mel mockingly, then disappeared into the eerie glow of the laser tag course.
After sixty seconds Mike let the red team go and Mel followed the younger children to the base. The course was big, but Mel couldn't tell how big. It was too dark and foggy and the glow in the dark paintings on the walls illuminated by black light threw her depth perception off. There was music, but it wasn't music so much as it was the steady, low thrum of a base and the occasional run of a synth.
As she charged up her gun, the kids started making plans very seriously.
"Are you with us?" asked the tallest one.
The siren sounded, signifying the beginning of the game.
"Sorry, Charles, I work alone."
And she headed off into the darkness. It was actually pretty fun pretending that this was real, that she was on a stealth mission for the government to stop aliens or terrorists or whatever. She inched up some stairs, surprised at how little she had to crouch. The walls were decently high but with arrow slits (is that what they were called? Mel wondered) for snipers and shorter kids. From her perch she could see glints of blue lights, a sure sign that the blue team was on the move. She tested the range of her laser. She aimed and hit one of the blue lights and it flickered. The screen on the back of her gun told her that she'd gotten 100 points for hitting someone from such a distance. Fantastic.
Melanie kept creeping around the course, ducking behind round barrels nailed to the ground and dodging around large pillars. Sometimes she ran into someone heading right toward her, but she usually always fired first and smirking when the kid let out a disappointed cry. These kids were small potatoes, though. She was looking for the big kill.
She finally found Cozette crouching behind a wall on the second floor, picking off red lights as they came into view. Instead of shooting her in the back (which would be no fun) she cleared her throat.
"So. We meet again."
"So it would seem, Segal. What do you want?"
"What you stole. My heart."
"You can't have it! Not if you shoot me a thousand times!"
"Just once will be fine."
Melanie raised her gun dramatically and shot Cozette square in the chest sensor. Cozette clutched her chest and fell over.
"What have I done?" Mel cried, rushing to her side. "DEAR GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I've killed the only person I've ever loved!"
She kissed Cozette's forehead and pretended to shut her eyes with her hand.
"Ahem."
Both girls looked up, startled, to see Mike standing there, one eyebrow raised and one hand on his hip.
"Whoops."
"Sorry, officer."
Mel gave Cozette a hand up, both trying desperately not to giggle, and they parted ways.
In the end, the red team won, but Cozette ended up with a higher score than Mel. The girls played with the group of kids at the birthday party two more times, once on the same team, one more on opposite teams, then the kids left. After the nine-year-olds a group of fourteen-year-old boys came to play a couple games. At first the boys made fun of the girls, but after they got their butts handed to them they shut up and respected them.
At the end of the final game, the couple tallied up their scores from all the rounds.
"Awww, come on! You beat me by ten points?" Mel said, comparing their sheets.
"I'm sure you would've won if you hadn't goofed around so much."
"Whatever, winner has to buy ice cream."
"I'm fine with that."
XXXXXX
They picked up a carton of peanut butter swirl on their way to Cozette's house, where they were going to watch movies and have a sleepover.
"How do you think prom was?" Cozette asked.
"Nowhere near as awesome as laser prom," Mel said without hesitation. She stuck a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. "Someone probably spiked the punch with cyanide or released hell hounds on everybody."
"You watch too much Buffy."
"It's not just Buffy, it's every show and movie about high school ever. Something bad always happens at prom."
On cue, her phone rang. It was Ginny.
"Hey, Gin, we were just wondering how things went."
"Awful."
Mel put the call on speaker so Cozette could hear it too.
"Why? What happened?"
"So first of all Derric didn't get me a corsage which is tragic, but surprisingly not even the worst thing to happen all night. Roman and Sasha were fighting all night and Melanie Bostwick got voted prom queen. Ugh, do you know how much I hate her? A ton. Anyway, we had dinner at that new Italian restaurant and halfway through the dance I started feeling sick and so did everyone else who ate there and I'm pretty sure we all got food poisoning because I've been puking for the past hour and a half. And I may have sort of kind of puked on Derric, which I felt bad about but not too bad about because he's not a great dancer or conversationalist and when I wasn't barfing I was wishing I was. And Boo and Carl left early to do God knows what and Sasha and Roman broke up. How was your romantic night?"
"Oh, it was fine. We'll tell you about it when you're feeling a little better. You should probably go drink some ginger tea and go to sleep."
"Okay. Talk to you later."
"Night, Ginny."
When Mel hung up, she grinned at Cozette guiltily.
"I know I shouldn't laugh, but..."
"It's a little funny."
"Just a little."
They laughed more than a little as they settled down to watch "Arsenic and Old Lace," only slightly ashamed at mocking the misfortune of their friends.
"Hey, Mel?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for tonight."
"Don't mention it."