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Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything relating to Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. I do, however, own all original characters and this plot line.
Spoilers: This story takes place right after Eclipse. So if you have not yet read Eclipse be warned.
Author's Note: I absolutely love Stephenie Meyer's work and hope that I can do her character's justice in this story. Please review and share your thoughts and opinions with me. How often I update this story is contingent on how many reviews I receive.
Chapter One
Coward.
The word rang in my head, matching the rhythm of my paws as I ran.
Coward.
Coward.
My legs pumped faster and faster, taking me as far from LaPush as possible. As far from Bella and him as possible. My muscles ached from running for so long, but I kept on. I needed to put distance between us.
Coward.
The word chased me. I was a coward. I was running away. Running from Bella and her wedding to that bloodsucker. Running from the sympathetic thoughts of my pack brothers.
I just had to get away.
How far had I run? How many state lines had I crossed?
The days had blurred together, each seeping into the next. I stopped only to eat and rink. Never to rest. To sleep would mean to dream. And dreaming meant seeing Bella's face.
How could she be marrying that vampire? She knew how much I loved her. She had admitted that she loved me too, had even seen a future with me, and had seen our children. Yet she loved him more than me, and she chose him and becoming a vampire over me and staying human. My heart was aching in ways that I had never known it could. That's why I stayed in wolf form, 'cause a wolf can't feel emotion like humans do. In wolf form I could feel the pain in a different way, a way that was quite so…heart wrenching. I cold beat out my frustrations on the earth as I ran, my paws smacking against the ground.
But it didn't matter how far I ran. No matter where I was my heart would still be broken and Edward would still have Bella.
My legs gave out on me and I collapsed. Surrounded as I was by trees, I had no clue where I was or how far I had run. A creek was gurgling beside me, the water moving lazily over the rocks at the bottom. I crawled on my belly to the water's edge and lapped eagerly at the water. The back of my throat burned from hours…or was it days…without water.
I drank my fill, running my tongue over the fur around my mouth to get every drop when I was finally done. I curled up in the shade of a large oak and laid my head on my paws.
It was finally time to rest.
I spent the next two days beside that creek, drinking and eating and sleeping. I remained in wolf form, not wanting to give my human heart a chance to rule me. If I were human again I just knew that I would think I'd made a mistake and return to LaPush. And I couldn't do that.
The thoughts of my pack brothers were a distant whisper in my head now. I had run far enough to escape the tone of their obvious sympathy, but not far enough to be rid of them for good.
Just where the hell was I?
It was around midnight of the second day at the creek and I wandered cautiously towards the smell of civilization. Remaining in the shadows of the woods so that no one would spot me and try to shoot me, I wandered the edge of the small town that I had happened upon. It sat about a mile from the creek I had been resting by and was a small, backwoods town. Nothing there was of interest to me so I continued to walk further along the wood line. I passed the edge of town and continued on for another five….ten…fifteen miles. I passed nothing but farm land until I was twenty miles from the town.
A clearing emerged and a dark house sat in the center of the clearing. I could hear chickens roosting in the henhouse and cows rustling in the barn. I smelled people; five of them maybe. I caught an interesting scent, something I'd never smelt before. Intrigued, and against my better judgment, I stalked closer to the farm house.
The moon cast a pale light over the earth, lengthening the shadows of the trees. Clouds rolled silently over the sky, drifting with the wind that gently blew over the ground. I could smell rain in the dark clouds and knew that a storm would hit within the next day or so.
The wind shifted and I lost the scent for a brief second. I stood still, sniffing the air, trying to catch the scent again. The wind shifted back in my direction, carrying the scent with it. My lips pulled back into what was the werewolf equivalent of a smile. The smell was very nice, nicer even than Bella's scent.
I was nearly at the house now and the scent was getting stronger. My mouth was practically watering now. I circled the house, my paws landing silently on the hard and dusty earth. I was near the chicken coop and could hear the rustling of the hens as they settled in.
An owl hooted in the distance and the crickets and cicadas were calling for their mates. Everything was peaceful.
Pain shot up my back leg and I howled in agony. A bear trap glittered in the moon light; the jaws plunged deep into my right back leg. So consumed by the scent and finding its source that I had failed to watch where I was going. I continued to howl, the pain was tearing at my senses, making my vision swim.
Lights came on in the darkened house and I heard shouts and the audible cock of a gun. I considered allowing myself to shift back into human form so that the farmer wouldn't shoot me. But I couldn't do it. Even in wolf form I could feel my heart calling out for Bella. Damn the pain in my leg, the pain in my heart was worse. I could practically see Bella standing there before me, her beautiful brown eyes wide and her face paler than usual as she tried not to look at the blood seeping from my leg. She would want to faint, but she would push through it in an effort to help me. I would tell her to look away, that I could handle it myself, but she would remain stubborn and insist on cleaning the wound and bandaging me up regardless of the fact that I heal fast and, as soon as this trap was out of my leg, I would already be on the mend.
Footsteps, five pairs of them, came storming from the house. The farmer was yelling, telling someone to stay in the house. I couldn't make out too much of what he was saying; I hurt too much to concentrate on the words. I smelled the metal of his gun and knew that sweet relief was coming. He would shoot me and I would be saved from ever thinking about Bell again. I longed for the feeling of that bullet lodging itself into my brain, cutting off all thoughts of Bella and her beauty and the love I had for her.
My pack brothers were screaming inside my head as they heard my thoughts. They were yelling at me to get up, to fight back. But I didn't have it in me. I didn't have the strength or the courage to continue on.
The farmer was standing over me now. I had stopped howling and instead stared up at him, resigned to my fate. He held the gun up, pointing it at my head. I whimpered. He was being to slow about it, too deliberate. As if he knew I was suffering and wanted it to last as long as possible. His finger played over the trigger, taunting me.
Again I whimpered. My eyes were locked on his, pleading with him. I just wanted this all to end.
"Dad, NO!" A scream tore through the quiet. Someone came running towards us and girl stepped between the gun and me.
"Don't kill him, Dad." The girl pleaded.
"Get out of the way, Cassidy." The farmer ordered the girl. "Wolves have no right to live if they're dumb enough to step onto our property."
"Please, Daddy," the girl pleaded with him, "please don't kill him."
What had I ever done for this girl that she would plead for my life? I was nothing but a wolf, why would she want me to live?
They argued for a long time. I tried to listen, but I was losing blood quickly and was light headed. After a long time the farmer finally set his gun down and turned away, marching back to the house in a huff.
The girl turned towards me and I smelled it again. That scent that had driven me close to the house. Her eyes locked with mine and I suddenly understood.