Milly gets a fix

Writers Note:

Originally I planned to write this out as a regular story and I just started creating an outline, but as I went through it, the whole thing just seemed to flow better if I wrote it as if I was watching an episode, (which is mostly what this was intended to be anyway) so I wrote it out like a crude screenplay to allow the reader to use more of their own imagination. I saw several other P&F fan-fics that worked well using this method so I decided to give it a try.

This story was inspired by Milly's statement in the episode "Isabella and the Temple of Sap", where Milly states that she has one more "Help thy neighbour" patch from helping Phineas and Ferb than everyone else because she "went back one afternoon after everyone else went home."

I figured this might have happened after the events of an already existing episode so I chose for it to take place just after "The Great Indoors", because with that episode I still got the impression that there was a lot of time left in the day since Jeremy brought a lunch picnic to share with Candace.

I make several references (including in the title) of a popular and famous comic series I read while growing up. See if you can spot it.

Milly gets a fix

Phineas and Ferb

Phineas and Ferb are standing in the backyard looking at a comic book that Ferb is holding when Milly enters.

Milly: "Hey guys."

Phineas: "Hi Milly. It's unusual for any of the Fireside girls to be here without Isabella."

Milly: "She's not here?"

Phineas: "No, she went back home. What are you doing here back so soon?"

Milly: "Well my parents are painting a room in our house and I wanted to stay out because of the

smell."

Phineas: "Shouldn't painting be done on nicer days than today was? It did rain a lot."

Milly: "Well it was supposed to be a nice day today and my parents had already started painting when the rain came down. What are you guys doing?"

Phineas: "Ferb was just showing me a comic with druids, and a potion they concocted to give someone superhuman strength."

Milly: "Wow!"

Phineas: "Yeah. Hey Ferb, I know what we're going to do today. We'll make that potion ourselves. You wanna' help Milly?"

Milly: "Oh! Sure, I'd love to. Hey where's Perry?"

Perry the Platypus

Perry is relaxing at a spa after being cold and wet the entire day.

Doofinshmirtz

Dr. D is trying to get rid of all the water flooding his home after his Raininator was wrecked.

Doof: "Geez, even with the water finally turned off there's still so much of it. Ughhh if electrocution wasn't such a problem I'd build a dehydranator to evaporate all the water, or a draininator that would create a drain wherever I wanted. And of course all the debris washed up against the door so I can't open that to let the water out."

Dumps bucket of water over balcony.

Doof: "And I'm stuck wearing these waders. Why do I even have these, I hate fishing."

Resumes tossing the water over the railing off the balcony, and then says:

Doof: "Hey, I could just get a pump to do this. Oh, I'm such a genius!"

Phineas and Ferb

Phineas and Ferb have created a chemistry lab in the garage.

Phineas: "Okay, we have mistletoe, and beetroot juice, so it should be easy enough to figure out the rest of the formula."

Milly: "If this potion was supposed to be magic, how do you know you can recreate it like this?"

Phineas: "Magic was just what people in ancient times used to describe things they didn't comprehend."

Milly: "Well then, I guess that would describe a lot of the things you guys do."

Phineas: "There's no magic in what we do; just a lot of science, imagination and motivation."

Milly: It still looks like magic to us normal people.

Ferb: "Normal is relative."

Phineas: "Exactly. Now let's make this potion."

Doofinshmirtz

Doofinshmirtz is straining to work a large hand pump.

Doof: Through strained voice* "Well it's definitely working faster, but this Handpumpinator doesn't seem to be making it easier."

Doof stops pumping lets out a deep exhale and relaxes his posture.

Doof: "Whew, I need a break. This is probably my most labour intensive inator ever. Where's Norm when you need him."

Norm

A shot of a large stadium-like building with a banner that reads: "Robot Olympics".

Show inside, Norm in the stands, waving his arms and cheering.

Doofinshmirtz

Doof: "Geez with this 5 gallon pump I expected this to go a lot faster. Well on the bright side, at least pumping water onto unsuspecting passers-by is a little bit evil. I just wish I could actually see the look on people's faces when the water actually hits them."

Doof's evil laugh.

Doof: "I wonder if this little bit of evil will make Perry the Platypus come back?"

Perry

Sitting up to his neck in a mud bath with other agents: Pinky, Peter the Panda, and Agent D.

Candace

Candace and Stacy are walking to the nearby mall and passing by Doofenshmirtz's building.

Stacy: "So now that you know why Jeremy likes you, what are you gonna' do?"

Candace: "Well first I have to get my hair done. After all, who knows what those fruit bats did in there; not to mention the arid desert, and then the jungle humidity."

Stacy: "Does that have anything to do with what your brothers did today?"

Candace: grunts and groans. "Oh it's just not fair. I mean; how does a giant biosphere just disappear?"

Stacy: "Don't think about that now Candace, focus on what's most important: your looks."

Candace: sighs. "You're right, I just wish that I could make Mom realize what I have to go through every day, but no matter how hard I try they always get away with it." She points straight up. "Seriously, it's like someone up there hates me."

Stacy: "Candace I'm sure you're exaggerating."

Stream of water falls on Candace from above.

The two girls stand there in silence. Candace is all wet.

Candace: "What was that?"

Stacey: Looks up; "Water from the sky?"

Candace: "Wait! How are you totally dry? You were standing like, right next to me."

Another stream of water falls on Candace.

Stacy: Looks back up. "Oh wait, it looks like the water's coming from that balcony way up there."

Candace: Grrrrrrr, that's it. Someone up there is so busted!"

Candace starts to walk off.

Stacy: Really Candace? Really?

Phineas and Ferb

A vile of green liquid pours slowly into a beaker and then there's small mushroom cloud poof, as it turns yellow.

Zoom out to show Phineas and Ferb in lab coats.

Phineas: "I think we've done it!"

Ferb gives a thumbs-up.

Milly gazes at the beaker from the other side of the table.

Milly: "Are you sure?"

Phineas: Of course. But to be absolutely sure we'll need someone to test it. How about you try it Milly?"

Milly: M-m-me? Are you sure about this?"

Phineas: "Absolutely. We have the utmost confidence in you."

Ferb hands Milly the beaker and she accepts it.

Milly: Says sarcastically: "Gee thanks."

Milly drinks all of the potion and then suddenly her eyes glow and her floats in the air a moment then settles back down and returns to normal, a brief puff of yellow smoke comes from her mouth.

Phineas: Says to Ferb: "Well that looked promising."

Milly looks over herself.

Milly: "I definitely felt something happen, but I don't know if I feel any stronger."

Buford suddenly walks in from the left with Baljeet tagging along just behind.

Buford: Hey dweebs, how's it hanging? I haven't seen 'ya all day so I figured you'd be up to somethin' by now."

Baljeet: "Have we found you in the middle of an experiment?"

Phineas: "As a matter of fact you have. Milly is helping us test out our new potion that gives superhuman strength."

Buford: "Aren't potions more of a magic thing?"

Phineas: Well without repeating what was said just a short while ago; I suppose the term 'formula' might be more appropriate."

Buford: "So how we gonna' test this bad boy?"

Phineas: "Actually it's 'girl' in this case. Milly already ingested the formula and now we just need a way to test it."

Buford: "Oh, oh, try getting her to lift your mom's car. That's a classic."

Switch to wide shot of the family car in the driveway. Then switch back to close up of Phineas.

Phineas: Hmm, well it seems a bit heavy to start off, but if you're willing to try Milly, I say we go for it."

Milly looks back at the car.

Milly: "Well I guess I could try."

Shot moves to side shot showing the car and Milly approaching the front.

Phineas: "Just try lifting up one end of the car to start off."

Milly rubs her hands together and then grits her teeth as she grabs hold of the front bumper and lifts with all her might.

The car lifts off the ground fairly easily. Milly then bravely puts herself underneath the car and lifts the entire thing off the ground.

Phineas: "By Toutatis Ferb, I think we got it! How you holding up Milly?"

Buford: "Obviously with your potion."

Baljeet: "Wasn't that just a bit too literal to be a joke?"

Buford: "You got a problem with my sense of humor nerd?"

Baljeet: sighs* "No, no I don't."

Buford grabs Baljeet by the collar.

Buford: "Say it like you mean it."

Baljeet: "Ah, hahaha, I meant: of course I don't have any problem with your sense of humor."

Buford: "That's better."

Milly: "Uh, guys?"

Cut to shot of Milly holding up the car and her arms shaking slightly.

Milly: "Can I put this down now? It's starting to get heavy."

Phineas: "Yeah, I think we got the idea."

Milly puts down the car gently and shakes the stiffness from her arms.

Baljeet: "If the formula increases her strength, wouldn't that mean she can run faster?"

Phineas: "Only one way to find out."

Doofinshmirtz

Doof is sitting down on his Handpumpinator panting from exhaustion.

Doof: "Well I got about ten percent of the water out now. Whew, I'm going to be in much better shape when I'm done."

Phone rings.

Doof: "Oh what is it now?"

Picks up cordless phone.

Doof: "Hello?"

Phone voice: "Are you aware that a leaky faucet can waste two-thousand gallons a year?"

Doof looks out over all the water in his home.

Doof: "Yes, yes I am."

Candace

Candace and Stacy are walking down the hall to Doofinshmirtz's door.

Stacy: "Candace you can't really be thinking of busting a complete stranger for what was probably an accident."

Candace: "I've been denied too long Stacy, and I've got issues with anyone who would just casually and thoughtlessly ruin a girl's hair."

Stacy: "I'm pretty sure they just randomly tossed the water over. I don't think you were actually a target."

Candace: "It's the principle Stacy, the principle."

Stacy: "Oh come one Candace, what are you going to do; call your mom and tell her to bust the random person in the apartment?"

Candace: "No I'm going to find out who dumped the water and call their mom so she can bust em."

Stacy: "I'm really worried about you Candace."

Candace and Stacy reach Doof's door and Candace knocks loudly.

Candace: "Hey buddy open up. You are so busted!"

Stacy rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

Stacy: Great Candace, now they think you're the IRS. I'm sure they'll open the door now."

Doofenshmirtz

Doof: "Who's that banging on the door?"

Candace through the door: "Hey buddy open up. You are so busted!"

Doof: "Is that the IRS? Oh, come on I may be evil but I pay my taxes. Well it's not like I can open the door anyway, so they can stay there and knock."

Doof then resumes pumping the water out.

Doof: "I'd rather be doing this than deal with them anyway."

Phineas and Ferb

Phineas and Ferb are standing by with a radar gun.

Phineas: "Okay, go!"

Milly runs as fast as she can past the boys.

A close-up of the radar gun display shows a 25 being indicated.

Phineas: "Okay you can stop-"

*Crash* Shot of hole in the fence.

Milly comes out of the hole sheepishly.

Milly: "Sorry about that. I wasn't able to stop in time."

Phineas: "Don't worry about it, it's an easy fix, and I guess we should have gone somewhere else to test this. Doing speed tests in a regular suburban backyard might not be the best idea."

Baljeet: "I'm more surprised that you appear uninjured from that impact. You did hit that wood fence at twenty-five miles per hour."

Milly looks herself over and Phineas walks into the shot.

Phineas: "Well the comic did seem to indicate that the potion or 'formula' provides a certain amount of resiliency. I really don't think we should test that though. Let's go somewhere else to test everything out."

Buford: "And on the way, can she bust open a vending machine or two? I'm out of snacks."

Montage:

This was a girl, stunk out of her roost.

She drank some magic potion, gave her body a boost.

A burst of power and vitality

Just what she could do, they all wanted to see.

She's turbo charged, turbo charged

Super-fast, and strong, she's livin' it large

She's got super strength and super speed

She uses her powers to help those in need.

When she's got a mission she pushes hard.

She's turbo charged.

She wears a brown skirt and a pair of Mary Janes

She's strong as an ox but she's got plenty-a-brains.

She avoids the elevator, takes the stairs instead.

She can bench press trees and break rocks with her head

She's turbo charged, turbocharged.

She can pull a row boat and a river barge

She's got super strength and super speed

She uses her powers to help those in need.

She's going full throttle right from the start.

She's turbo charged.

Phineas and Ferb

On the sidewalk Milly is panting and plops onto the ground from exhaustion.

Milly: "I'm exhausted."

Phineas: "Yeah, I think it's safe to say that the potion's starting to wear off."

Buford: "Does that mean we can try some of that stuff now?"

Phineas: "Sorry Buford. We only had enough mistletoe left from Christmas for one potion."

Buford: "Awww, I wanted to see what it would be like to give someone a super strength wedgie."

Baljeet: "Life is smiling on me at last."

Buford suddenly gives Baljeet a wedgie.

Buford: "Still smiling?"

Baljeet: "It's possible I mistook it for a grin of evil."

Phineas: "Anyway, let's get back to our place. Would you like some lemonade Milly?"

Ferb helps Milly up.

Milly: "Oh definitely."

Candace

Candace: "Come on buster, I've been waiting here for ten minutes, you better open this door!"

Stacy: "Candace firstly: you just sounded like someone's mom, and second: don't you think it's possible that whoever lives here isn't home right now? That maybe they left in-between you getting drenched and us walking here?

Candace: "I know they're in there Stacy. My busting senses are never wrong."

Stacy: sarcastically "Yeah, like that's ever helped you."

Candace bangs on the door a few more times and then yells in frustration.

Candace: "That's it! I'm breaking this door down!"

Stacy: alarmed. "Whoa, whoa Candace! You are going way too far now. Your day was not this bad. This is breaking and entering you're trying to do here. You'll end up in jail, and worse, they'll put you into those terrible prison clothes. Your hair will blend right in with it."

Candace: "I'm not entering; I'm just going to gently rip the door off of its hinges."

Stacy: "Candace I know you're under a lot of stress right now, but you still won't be able to rip that door off."

Suddenly the door breaks and Candace and Stacy are carried on the door being flushed down the hall by the water rushing out of Doof's apartment.

Doofinshmirtz

Pumping on his Handpumpinator when he starts to notice the water rapidly going down and stops pumping.

"What's going on? The water's going down even though I'm not pumping."

Doof looks over and sees the door missing and the water finally all drained.

"Oh, someone managed to open the door to let the water and debris out…. from the wrong side; the door opens the other way. Well I guess if they were to pull really hard on the door and combine that with the water pressure, it might have been enough to rip the door off the frame.

Man, those people from the IRS really wanted in. I'd better replace the door before they get back. Oh and I guess I better get rid of all the water in the Pumpinator too.

Candace

Candace and Stacy are washed onto the sidewalk and the water drains into the sewers. They both stand up.

Stacy: "I think that's enough busting for you today Candace."

Candace: "Uh, fine. Well despite all that water at least I didn't get wet."

A stream of water falls on Candace but Stacy remains dry.

The two girls stand in silence and then Candace drops her head and sighs.

Candace: "I think I really need to get my hair done now."

Stacy: "Yes, yes you do."

Phineas and Ferb

Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Buford, and Milly are all sitting in the backyard enjoying a cup of lemonade.

Milly: "So refreshing. Looks like all the effects of the potion have worn off too."

Phineas: "Thanks again for testing it out for us Milly. Now we know what we're going to do next time we have some unused mistletoe lying around."

Milly: "Happy to help. It gets me another patch too."

Buford: " 'cept you never did break open a vending machine."

Baljeet: "Let it go Buford."

Cut to a shot of Isabella coming through the gate to the backyard.

"Hey Phineas. What'cha-"*record scratch sound as Isabella notices Milly's presence.*

Phineas: "Hey Isabella. Milly was just helping us with a little experiment."

Isabella: "Was she now." Isabella is looking at Milly with disapproval.

Phineas: "Yeah she was great."

Ferb gives a thumbs-up.

Milly: "Well I'd better get home guys. It's almost supper time and we're going out while the paint dries. I'll see you some other time."

Phineas: "Bye Milly."

Buford gets up.

Buford: "Well I'd better get going too. Not havin any snacks has made me hungry. I'll see you guys later."

Baljeet: "I must also go. My mother is making my favorite curry for dinner and I don't want to miss it."

Show Phineas and Ferb waving farewell.

Phineas: "Bye guys."

There's a long pause and then Isabella looks back at Phineas with her arms crossed.

Isabella: "So Milly helped you guys huh?"

Phineas: "Yep; although I'm pretty disappointed with the amount of potion we were able to make from all that mistletoe. In the comic they were able to make a whole cauldron."

Ferb: "You can't believe everything you read."

Phineas: "Yeah, I guess so."

Doofinshmirtz

Standing in his lab an agent of the IRS hands Doof an audit order.

Doof: "You're auditing me? Why?"

Agent: "You can't deduct traps as a 'cost of doing business expense'; amongst other things."

Doof: "Wow, your voice sounded much higher pitched from behind the door."

Agent: as he walks off the screen: "Tell it to the platypus."

Doof turns his head and the screen pans right to show Perry standing there.

Doof: "Oh there you are Perry the platypus."