She smoothed her skirt nervously before raising her hand to knock on his door. Her palms were sweaty, which she had learned from Sweets was a sign of nervousness, but what did she have to be nervous about? It wasn't as if she hadn't shown up at his place unexpectedly many times before. But this is different, Brennan, she reminded herself. That was before they had become sexually active. That was before she finally understood what he had been trying to tell her those past few months.
The first time they had slept together, it was due to her own agenda. She wanted a progeny, and had asked Booth to be the father. They had tried in vitro fertilization, but when it didn't take, Booth suggested doing it "the old fashioned way" (his words, not hers). She still didn't understand why sexual intercourse was considered to be "the old fashioned way," as it continues to be the method most people use to procreate. While in vitro was on the rise in popularity, it was by no means surpassing natural conception. After a few attempts, they had both decided that maybe it just wasn't the right time, and had decided to go back to the way things had been before. Or at least, they were trying to.
Though she missed being physically intimate with him, she knew that their coupling was always meant to be temporary. Therefore, ending the sexual component of their relationship wasn't having much of an effect on her - or at least, so she thought. He, on the other hand, wasn't handling it so well. She would catch him staring at her more often with an expression on his face that she couldn't quite place. It seemed to be a cross between longing and sadness, but since reading facial nuances wasn't her thing, she was never certain. He touched her more, showed up at her apartment at random times just to 'hang out,' and there had even been a few times where she had been sure that he was going to kiss her, until he pulled back at the last minute.
The part that unnerved her most was that she had actually wanted him to, but it wasn't until months later that she finally realized exactly what those feelings had meant..
Nothing special had happened to trigger the events of that evening. She had started to miss being with Booth, sexually, more and more as the weeks had progressed. But it was more than that: never in her life had she felt herself drawn to a person like she was to Booth. When they were having sex, she was perfectly able to compartmentalize, but shortly after they stopped, she missed being close to him. But it was just sex, she kept telling herself, and figured that if she focused her sexual energy elsewhere, that maybe she'd be able to get rid of the nagging feeling inside of her.
So, that night, she had gone to a local bar, with every intention of picking up a man for a one night stand.
There were quite a few attractive men to choose from, and she could tell that a least a couple of them were interested in her as well. Eventually, one of them joined her at the bar, and a few drinks later they were hailing a cab back to her apartment. After she'd given the driver her address, the man had started kissing her neck and running his hand up her thigh. Maybe she was right. Maybe all she needed was a release- not necessarily Booth, but just with someone.
They pushed their way through her apartment door, and barely a minute later, they started undressing each other. "Bedroom. This way," she barely got out between kisses as she started to lead him back towards her room. She was enjoying this. The feel of his arms around her, his lips on hers. She had almost forgotten all about Booth. Almost. It wasn't until he had her lying on the bed naked, and was doing amazing things with his mouth that was driving her to the brink of ecstasy, that she felt a stirring of what she could only describe as guilt.
But why? It wasn't like her and Booth were together. They had decided to go back to just being friends and partners, right? Why shouldn't she find someone to satisfy her? She was sure that Booth had slept with other women since her, so why shouldn't she sleep with another guy? Because you want Booth to be that person, her conscious nagged. And that was the moment that Angela would have said something like, "Congratulations, Sweetie! It's about time that you finally caught up with your own reality!" She didn't want Booth to sleep with anyone else, and sex with a random stranger just isn't worth it when you've finally experienced the real thing.
She immediately sat up, pulled the sheet around herself, and started to move off of the bed. "Look, this has been quite satisfying, but I really need to be somewhere," she started.
"Now? But Temperance, we were just getting started," he said suggestively, as he got up off the bed, still naked, and headed towards her. She ducked under his arm and started to pick up his clothes, which were thrown haphazardly on the floor.
"I know my timing is less than ideal, but I really do need to be elsewhere right now. I'm sorry," She said as she handed him his clothes. Before he had a chance to protest, she quickly headed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She knew that he was probably quite confused, but thankfully, a few minutes later she heard the sound of the front door closing behind him. She immediately threw on some clothes, fixed her make-up, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door.
And that is how she had ended up standing outside of Booth's apartment door, nervously debating whether or not she should knock. "This is ridiculous," she chastised herself, and finally knocked.
"Booth? It's Bones!" she said through the door. The door opened, and he was wearing grey sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a towel wrapped around his neck. "Hey, Bones! What brings you out to my neck of the woods at this time of night?" he asked, as he ushered her into his apartment.
"Can we talk?" she asked, as she plopped herself down on his couch.
"Sure. You know that you can always talk to me, Bones," he assured her, but then realized that she seemed a bit on edge. "Are we going to need alcohol?"
"I think so. I think I may need something a bit stronger than beer though..."
This was going to be an interesting night.