Dirty Doctors and Naughty Nurses

By Caduceus-Wings.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and/or settings in which they appear; they belong to someone else in some other country :D

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Chapter 1: Wilson the Worm.

God (if you exist), I hate surprises.

Idiot Wilson should have known this by now—We have, after all, been together a while--but no, he just comes along and drops a big parcel on my desk!

" I know you somewhat dislike surprises, but I just had to get you this! It's got you written all over it!" He says, sounding like a total fag. Yes, I know he's gay, but he still doesn't have to act so openly camp! He can be such an embarrassment when he wants to be—he knows that anyone could walk past my office and look in (seeing how I have goddamn GLASS WALLS). Wilson also knows that I'm not exactly keen to proclaim my new-found sexual orientation, unlike himself, who practically has Gay rights banners and Pink flags covering his bookshelf! Look at him, standing there smirking at me like a teenage girl on her first date with that super-cool guy from the Lacrosse team.

He wasn't fucking-off anytime soon, so I felt I had to get it over and done with, then get him the hell outta my sight.

" What's in here? A cure for my Infarction? Cos that would be, like, sooo fabulous!" I use my snarky tone to really belittle him. Good.

" No, something even better, sweety!"

" Call me that again and I'll snap your spine." I growled. If he camps it up one more time, I will act on my threat! I'll even shove this box up his ass—though he would probably enjoy that…

Oh.

My.

God.

What has that gay idiot done now?!

I actually don't know what to say. Small wonder.

He's got me a fucking Nurse uniform. Not just one from Princeton, no, a FUCKING LATEX NAUGHTY NURSE role-play outfit! How, where and WHY did he find this? It's even in a men's size! Oh God, Wilson's gone into a sex Shop and bought me a goddamn Tranny costume!

" It was kinda hard to find this particular outfit in your size, y'know, what with your height and all. Do you like it?"

Like it? Well, I want to force it down your throat and strangle you with your own leather stethoscope. I also want to castrate you with the nearest Scalpel and kill all your family members, but apart from that, it's fucking divine.

" Wilson, have you gone mad? Cos I think I might need to do a little Neurosurgery on you, here and now, WITH MY FUCKING FIST! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

"Aaw and here's me thinking that you were into this kinda thing…oh, that reminds me, do you have some dollars to spare?"

"Huh?" Changing the subject! How dare he!

" I was wondering, do you have, oh, TWO GRAND at hand?"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit! Don't bring up what I owe you now!

" Wilson, are you trying to blackmail me into dressing up as" I read the little tag attached to the uniform "'Nurse Kitty'?! Cos I will pay you back DOUBLE what I owe if you'll drop it!"

Gay-boy smiled then, with no shame, discretion or compassion, delivered his winning argument.

" You've used that card already, Greg, it won't work this time. Although, I could just let both the money and the Naughty Nurse outfit slide…but to do that, I'd have to, oh, accidentally-on-purpose tell the entire hospital about Dr Houses' Enema fetish..."

" I'M NOT A KLISMAPHILE!" I can't believe I'm hearing this shit.

" Then wear this outfit later in bed."

"Okay. Fine."

I hate Wilson so much. I actually really do hate his guts.