Sebastian took his masters coat as he walked through the front door. Ciel had been a demon for nearly 200 years and though the young demonling was now immortal, he continued to keep up his old habits. He still spoke to Sebastian as a butler and treated him as such, he still had a liking for sugary deserts (though he could no longer get the enjoyment out of them that he used to.) For Ciel these things were a familiar comfort. He chose to keep up his human habits because he refused to believe that anything or anyone could force him into anything, and for the faint denial he had over not being capable of death.

Yes it was true, Ciel Phantomhive wanted to die. Since his parents death he had no one. He had Madame Red for a little while, but inevidebly she had left him too. Lady Elizebeth had ceased to amuse him for quite some time and after a few years she was as gone as everyone else in his life. Everyone apart from Sebastian. Sebastian had been his faithfull servant for years, keeping his promis and never once leaving Ciels side. So yes, Ciel had been ready for death.. It was all he had left to give his loyal servant and friend.. True Ciel had money, women, acess to drugs, and land, but Sebastian wanted none of it. All the demon had asked for was Ciels soul and the young master was more than willing to give it up for HIM.

But Hannah and Aloises little group had ruined it all. Ciel knew what his butler wanted and all the young master himself wanted was to please the demon. And Hannah took it away. She made him a demon and he was now at his current state of immortality. There was nothing to be done about it. The young demonling could see clearly how much it bothered Sebastian, that look in his eyes as he realized his young masters soul was perminently inexessable. The hate, the anger, the rejection behind those wine red eyes. It killed Ciel to know that he was nothing more than a curse; dead weight. But still, he couldnt let Sebastian go, no matter how badly it hurt them both he couldnt say goodbye and ordered the demon to stay againdst his better judgement.

And still, on nights he couldnt sleep, he longed to be held; loved; yet the only person he could ever trust not to leave him was Sebastian. He wished Sebastian would hold him. Just once, maby not even for long, but maby just one carring gesture from the forever stoic butler? Was it really all that much to ask? Ciel had decided he was foolish for even dreaming of it, but maby Sebastian could love him after all...

It was only a few hours after dawn when Ciel awoke. Sebastian had stopped coming to wake Ciel up on his own when alarm clocks were invented, and Ciel had stopped letting Sebastian dress him just after it had been socialy decided that having a butler was "unusuall". For now Sebastian would play the innocent role of Ciels homeschool teacher, which was, in the 21st century, considered a fair enough exuse. Of course, Ciel could not be told there was anything he didnt know and was quite stern on the fact that Sebastian was under no circumstances aloud to act as a teacher when they were in private.

As Ciel opened his bedroom door he was greeted by the smell of Sebastian which almost made him smile. He liked when the house smelled like his butler. It made him feel at home; safe even. Occasionally it even gave him a feeling of what he assumed was love. But that was obsurd. He knew how he felt for Sebastian would never be returned, he more of a burden to Sebastian than anything. Yet stil, sometimes he hoped.

When he made his way into the kitchen he found Sebastian there, busily making some sort of german breakfast dish. The elder demon quickly looked up.

"Goodmorning Young Master, are you feeling well? You look stressed."

That hair those eyes, Ciel almost couldnt take it

"Im fine." he said suddenly sensing a different mood in the air than any other morning.

Those beautifull eyes were one him; breaking him.

"Ciel, you know you cant lie. Not to me you just cant. I know you too well."

It was the first time Sebastian had called him Ciel. The demonling couldnt quite breathe.

"Sebastian Im fine I just-" Sebastian cut him off with a heartstopping kiss. Ciel wrapped his arms arround the demons neck pulling him closer. 'Sebastian i just need you...' Ciel whispered it to himself in his mind and as if by some sort of voodoo mind reading trick sebastian pulled away.

" I know Ciel, you have me. Its okay. Let me love you."

Ciel let a tear of happieness slide down his cheek and for the first time, Ciel noticed something was off.. They were in mid 20th century dress and the kitchen they were standing in was that of an older house that they had previously lived in. Nothing like the new modern house they now owned...Ciels mind flew at the speed of lightning as he realized.

"Sebastian.. No...I dont want this to be a dream, please I cant take it! I love you!"

Sebastian frowned at him

"Ciel its always been a dream. You know that as well as I do."

"NO! IT CANT BE! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME!"

Ciel woke himself up sobbing. He knew it had only been a dream but that was the problem. He wanted Sebastian, needed him, but to Sebastian, Ciel was only a daily chalenge that he had to put up with for the rest of his life. Still... could it really be so horribal for Ciel to crave his support and love?

Ciel paused thinking back on the dream. Sebastians eyes had seemed so intense. His scent was so strong it could have flooded him. His lips when they were on his own.. He was so heavenly. Too beautifull to be real least of all a demon. Ciel struggled in his mind.

"Sebastian why cant I have you?" Ciel asked himself this question already knowing the answer but not expecting a voice in return. He recognized the cool stoic voice as his butlers.

"You cant have me because unlike everything else in your life, Im not yours to take." Still being in such a groggy stage Ciel felt free to express his feelings.

"I know Sebastian. All I want is to be yours. I would have given you my soul. Damn that. I would have given you anything you asked for, should I be capable of such a task."

"Ciel you know nothing of love. Youre still a teenage boy after all."

"Well Ive been a teenage boy for 200 years. I sure as hell hope I know what love is by now."

"Ciel trust me. You havent the slightest idea."

"I know you dont I?"

"You dont love me Ciel."

"Sebastian... I.. Dont know...Maby youre right...I dont know.. I need you Sebastian. I want you...I dont know what else to do.. I dont know what to say...I just need you. Im tired of feeling so hopeless...I dont understand why you hate me so much."

"Ciel I could never hate you. I just know that Im not what you really want."

"Sebastian youve told me that for 170 years... I dont believe you anymore."

"Ciel you dont love me."

"I do."

"prove it."

"tell me you love me back." Ciel felt his heart dropp knowing Sebastians answer would be no.

"Ciel I love you with every inch of my being."

"You.. Love..Me?"

"Id have thought you smart enough to relize it on your own. But yes.. I do...I always have.

Ciel tackled him.

"Sebastian I love you! Im yours!Please please please dont ever make me leave you!" Sebastian laughed...

"of course love... you dont ever have to be alone again."