Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter world.
They were never happier than when they were arguing.
People always stopped to stare, which was surprising really. Their friends thought that everyone might have gotten used to it by now. They certainly had. It had just become a fact of life, as common and simple as getting up in the morning.
They argued regularly and rather loudly. It was a game of intelligence, who could outsmart the other. One would shout something clever, the other would return with something even wittier.
Most of the arguments were petty and stupid, all about arrogance and missing classes; or about obedience and unwaveringness to rules. They both saw the worst in each other, and there were most certainly worse insults to throw. She could mention his jealousy and how he was far too trusting. He could mention how she was a coward and too self involved. Neither mentioned those though, because that would be going too far, and although neither wanted to admit it, they did not want to hurt the other.
This was something their friends picked up on, and so the fights were rarely mentioned and if so only humorously in passing. Everyone understood that there was no real animosity between the two, even if they struggled to see it for themselves. They pretended to hate each other so they could carry on with the arguments, because people who were friends didn't argue or through insults really?
Well that is what they thought. Eventually it was becoming too much for both of them, and they were struggling to continue with it. It started out with small things, like him giving a Slytherin a detention when he insulted or threatened her. It was something she was used to, but he made a big deal of it (often resulting in yet another heated argument). Then she started making up excuses for McGonagal when he was late to yet another Head's round (which was inexplicably for a bizarre reason becoming less common), and when confronted by him, she just shrugged and said it was just because she didn't want to do them alone because he was in detention. Again that resulted in another argument.
The worst thing that jeopardised these arguments was one afternoon in the Christmas holidays in their seventh year. Her family was away at her Aunty Barbara's and she had said very sweetly to her parents that she would prefer to remain at Hogwarts with her friends, as she had some big exams coming up and needed to revise. Of course that wasn't true – her exams weren't until the summer – but the possibility of having to spend time with Petunia and her aunts cooking was a recipe for disaster.
His family were very understanding when their son had said he wanted to stay at Hogwarts to keep Sirius company. His parents had said Sirius was more than welcome to spend Christmas with them, but Sirius was adamant he didn't overstay his welcome with the family. He'd only just moved out, and was determined not to be too much of a dependent on them. Besides there was a full moon coming up and Remus was also staying at Hogwarts along with Peter to be there with their friends.
The castle had been quite empty, as most students had gone home due to parents being worried about them being alone because of the threat of Voldemort. She was the only female in Gryffindor besides a second year called Lucy, whose mum had gone to visit her very ill grandmother in Birmingham, and him and his friends were the only boys. Needless to say a tentative truce seemed to have formed, as there were so little of them, and they really wanted all the company they could get.
All of them had been sitting in the common room. She was sitting by the fire with Sirius playing a game of exploding snap, whilst the other young boy was writing a letter to his parents. Lucy and Remus were playing a game of chess in the table in the corner. Peter had drawn up a chair and was watching amused, giving hints to Lucy, which only aggravated Remus, but made the little girl laugh.
It had been very peaceful. Sirius was making playful conversation over snap with the young girl, making her laugh, with occasional input from Remus and Peter. They were talking about a particularly humorous incident a few years earlier in a transfiguration lesson, which had been shared with the Slytherins. The object of the lesson had been to transfigure a doorknob into a duck. It had been quite a hard spell, but an interesting lesson. It turned out that the more complicated the doorknob the harder it was to transfigure it, however when successful it created a most interesting animal.
She had been struggling with it. McGonagal had given her a very pretty doorknob, but it was stubbornly refusing to turn into a duck. The closest she had got was causing a few pink feathers, the same shade as the knob, to poke through the wood.
The young boy had teased her and goaded her, mocking her efforts. She had snapped at him, and continued to try her best with the spell. Her friend Severus had been sitting beside her, and was becoming more and more irritated by his comments, until eventually he had snapped and had cursed him with the spell himself.
It had resulted with the boy growing a fully-fledged duck beak out of his head. He had subsequently opened his mouth to speak, when to his horror all that had come out had been an extremely loud 'quack'. This had resulted in fits of laughter from everyone, even Sirius, Peter and Remus. McGonagal had had to hide her smile, and had ordered Remus to take him up to the hospital wing. Severus had gotten two weeks detention with the stern professor for that.
"I swear every time I saw him after his detention with her for about a month, Severus still said it was worth the torture time spent with her." Sirius laughed, and placed another card down on the table.
"I'm glad you and Snivilus found me so amusing." He said loudly, his voice full of sarcasm, causing the smile to wipe off her face, even Sirius looked a tad confused.
"Um, you have to admit James it was rather funny, you couldn't stop quacking all the way up to the hospital wing?" Remus pointed out, having just lost yet another pawn to Lucy and Peter. He ignored Remus, and continued to infuriate her, his eyes hard and dark, daring her to reply.
"Why were you friends with that git anyway?" She put down the stack of cards in her hand and turned to face him, her expression just as stony as his.
"I really don't think that is any of your business." He laughed and put his quill and parchment down onto the wooden table by the fire.
"Oh come on! Tell me, because I really don't see it! He was a crap friend!" The others were beginning to feel uncomfortable, but the two barely noticed anything but the anger they now felt towards each other.
"How dare you! You cannot say that! How do you know? You have no idea what he was like!" He scoffed at that.
"Oh I think I know enough! He called you a-a… you know what! And you are still making up excuses for him!" Sirius looked down at his watch, and ushered the other three out of the common room and to dinner, it was best to let them get it out of their system. They wouldn't listen to reason from any of them. They barely even noticed them leave.
"I am not! I hate him as much as you do! But at least I have an excuse, what excuse has he ever given you to hate him?" He huffed at that.
"He's a slimy, dark art obsessed…" He trailed off, coming up with no other words. She looked smug at this.
"See! You have no reason to hate him! I just can't believe you! You such a self absorbed arrogant pig!" He laughed, again the sarcasm melting through.
"Me? Self absorbed! Ha, at least I can see what's in front of me! You are so clueless for someone who's so bloody smart! Everyone knew what was happening with Snivillus except for you! You can't even see what's happening now!" She scrunched his face up in anger. He had gone to far, the invisible line had been crossed, and it hurt. She knew this, and he was shoving it in her face. That was what she had regretted most, that she hadn't seen what was happening, until there was nothing she could do to stop losing her best friend.
"I hate you! You are so…insufferable! You go on and on, but really you were just as bad as him! You are jealous! You always were, that he was friends with me and you weren't." She had now touched a nerve with him, and he struggled to control his anger. He was inexplicably jealous of how much she had cared for Snape, but he didn't ever want to talk about it.
"Yeah well, I don't want to be friends with you! You are such a coward, you won't admit how you feel!" She felt the rage bubbling up. He was such a hypocrite.
"And you will?" He stopped at that, visibly deflating in front of her eyes. He went and sat down on one of he armchairs. She was confused; he looked like he had given up. He never gave up.
"Yes." Now that surprised her. He wasn't like this, he never was so…defeated. He then said something, that she wouldn't have ordinarily heard, but for some reason she had been listening intently for his answer. "I love you." Right then her heart stopped for a moment, before racing right out of the room with her.
After that moment things changed, they didn't fight and neither one was happy. She was confused and he felt rejected. He was certain she had heard him, and yet they avoided each other. Naturally his friends knew something was up, and tried their hardest to find out what. Luckily they didn't need to ask in the end.
Things slotted into place on Christmas Eve. They were patrolling on the first floor, past the defence against the dark arts classroom. Things were extremely tense, and neither one was speaking, and hadn't done for weeks. Thus it was very difficult for his friends when it was only the five of them there along with Lucy. She had begun to feel guilty, which really was strange; she never felt guilty about their arguments. So for the last few weeks she had been working up the courage to apologise, again something that never happened. They had both said bad things, and she thought he just might have regretted them too. She was deliberately forgetting the statement at the end of their conversation. She couldn't get her head around that yet.
She stopped just after the door to the classroom, and he turned to face her after a few paces, when he realised she'd been left behind.
"Look. Can we please talk?" She begged, not quite looking him in the eye. He nodded his head slowly, and she led him into the empty classroom. Professor Hodgins was quite a young professor and had gone home to spend Christmas with his wife and two young children a few weeks before the end of term. It was clear that the poor professor was under pressure to be at home more often and the young girl was pretty sure he wouldn't last the year. To be honest they never really did. However that meant that his office was at this moment unpopulated, meaning the classroom was thoroughly empty, and there was little chance they would be disturbed.
Once inside he closed the door and slowly turned around to face her.
"So?" She looked at him confused. "What do you want to say?" He said condescendingly, as if she was the one who had done something wrong. She felt so angry at that, that any thoughts of apology went out the window.
"Well, I was going to apologise, but you know what, I don't think I want to now!" He stiffened, at those words, but stepped in front of the door before she could leave.
"Look, Evans…please-"
"Save it Potter! It was evidently childish for me to think you would accept an apology or even want to give me one yourself." He again stopped her from leaving, his body guarding the door.
"No, no it wasn't." He sighed, "Look at us, we just can't stop arguing can we. Doesn't matter what." He smiled slightly, "For what it is worth, I am sorry." She smiled slightly as well, and stepped back away from the door.
"Yeah, me too." They both laughed at that. There was an awkward silence for the next few seconds, neither knew quite what to do or say.
"Um, listen, Evans – Lily, why don't we go and grab something from the kitchens, its not too far, and we've almost finished. Plus…well it is Christmas Eve?" She smiled and nodded.
"Sure." With that they started walking down towards the kitchens, chatting merrily along the way. After a while they sat down at a bench and table in there, shown to them by an extraordinary helpful house elf and tucked into some treacle tart and some pumpkin juice. It was strange, but for the first time in seven years they were actually properly getting along. They weren't just tolerating each other to appease well-worn-out friends; he wasn't getting on her nerves and she his. They were both shocked to say the least. They were laughing and chatting until way past midnight, and then she brought up something that could ruin the whole thing, what he said the other night. She wasn't going to at first, she was going to let sleeping dogs lies, but she had to know. Had he meant what he had said? Is that why they were getting on so, so well now?
"Look James. The other night, what did you say? Just before I left? Please tell me I have to know." She was blunt and to the point about it. No room to change the subject if he had wanted to. He looked down at his hands, the smile gone and the awkwardness from earlier had come back as quickly as it had left.
"I think you know what I said Lily." She nodded.
"Did you mean it?" He looked her in the eye, his face angry and hurt.
"Of course." She looked away from his face clearly confused.
"But-but we argue…all the time!" He smirked at that, looking back down at his hands.
"I don't know about you, but I was never happier than when I was with you. Arguing or no arguing." She looked at him strangely, but then realised he was right. They were never happier than when they were arguing. She hadn't realised before, she'd taken it for granted. He was always there, more so than Severus or anyone else had been. She took out her frustrations on him, and he her. They worked like a well-oiled machine, bringing out the best and worst in each other.
"Me too." She said quietly, surprising even herself. He smiled at that, and grabbed her hand.
"Look, I don't expect miracles, but I did mean what I said. I don't expect you to feel the same way, but can we at least try to be friends?" She nodded and smiled back.
"We already are."
Christmas the next day was a good one. Both were tired from the night before, but said nothing of it to the others. Although Sirius almost choked on some scrambled egg at breakfast when she asked: "James can you pass the toast?" Surprised that they were talking and not using each other's surnames. You could say it didn't take them long to figure out that something had happened.
The rest of the holiday went by quickly, all of them eating too much, laughing and doing little work. Nobody said anything about the new found friendship, although no one complained about the lack of arguing either naturally.
Once school started, things were a bit more normal; they still argued, but this time always made up afterwards, and would be seen walking to lessons together. Again nobody said anything, but a few people did stare.
Over the course of the year, their friendship became closer, as did hers with his friends. She spent time with them sometimes by the fireplace or in the library when coming up closer to exams, as well as having plenty of time for her other friends. But soon after March, when the snow had melted, things progressed quickly.
He asked her out to Hogsmede, she said yes. They had a great time, having a butterbear and a bowl of chips for lunch in the Three Broomsticks, and looking at the sweets and jokes in Honeydukes and Zonko's. They even walked up to the shrieking shack, some place neither had been since third year, but left quickly after a particularly pesky great black dog had refused to leave them alone. The young boy had seemed to know it, but insisted that it belonged to one of the villagers his dad knew. She suggested taking it home, but he said it would find its own way. So they made there way up to the castle past Hagrids hut. They sat outside in the transfiguration courtyard for a bit, enjoying the good weather, and talked for the rest of the afternoon.
There second date out together in April was similar (minus the pesky dog), but ended differently with a short kiss before heading up to their separate dormitories to get ready for dinner. Things definitely sped up after that.
He asked her to be his girlfriend one night whilst patrolling, she then proceeded to snog him pretty hard. He took that as a yes. Next morning the whole school knew thanks to his friends.
In the summer after their exams whilst still at school she began to fall in love. They still argued, but on a different scale now. If she was berating him for something, he'd kiss her to make her shut up, and she'd forget all about what she'd been saying. His and her friends teased her constantly about this, but she always blushed when they did so.
They were very, very happy, and quickly moved in together in a little cottage in Otterton in East Devon at the end of school. They practically lived with Sirius, who seemed to come over every evening for tea, and often enough stayed the night (the spare bedroom was practically his). Some might have said they were moving pretty quick, others that she was pregnant, but the truth was they were thoroughly in love. And war changes things.
He was working to be an Auror, and she was making there home theirs for the moment. She really wanted to work in a branch of the ministry – possibly in the wizardgemont, but at the moment that wasn't possible. As he said, the Auror department was the only one you could trust at the moment, with Moody at its head.
Pretty soon he got caught along with Sirius, and fought there way out of a pretty nasty match with five deatheaters. She had been so worried when they were six hours late home, and had been about to floo to his office, when they both arrived back. A bit rough around the edges but alive. It was a realisation for all of them. This was war.
Dumbledore asked them to join his resistance group. The Order of the Phoenix. She wanted to refuse at first, they wouldn't be safe, but as the young man pointed out, nowhere was safe when you had an enemy like Voldemort.
That was soon proved to be true. They both got captured. It was not meant to happen that way, but missions go astray. They met him, and they pretty soon really wished they hadn't.
They had a double date with her sister Petunia and her boyfriend Vernon – Sunday lunch at a local pub. Honestly it didn't really end well, but the young man apologised to her, and promised he would make up with Vernon next time. It really wasn't his fault that he suggested to the waiter that they serve Vernon for the meal, as he might provide more food than the beef on the roast they had just ordered. He'd thought it was funny, but apparently their company had thought otherwise, and the meal ended there. However somehow they got invited to their wedding; luckily nothing wrong happened there, but he did overhear Vernon mentioning to a friend how he was a Benefits hoarder who tried to get a job as an amateur magician. On that note they had decided it was time to go home.
His parents died soon after that time, and things changed slowly. His parents had died of old age, but it didn't hurt any less. He felt hardened, and fighting the war became more and more important.
Their wedding was next, he proposed to her when they were lying in bed one Sunday morning; the house to themselves for the change. Naturally she said yes. It was a small affair in the local church with only a few guests. He had a best man, Sirius of course, and she had a few close friends as some bridesmaids. The whole celebration was wonderful. They all had a bit too much to drink, and there was a great photograph of Remus and Sirius lying ontop of each other covered in snow from the end of Remus's wand, which was hanging out of his robe pocket (they were both pretty drunk by that point), and the happy couple went off to a secluded loch in Scotland for a few days. It was on the last of these days that they ran into Voldemort again.
She was now pregnant, much to their delight and horror. His friends were delighted, except for Peter who wasn't around when they told them, but he too was ecstatic when he found out. They were in the middle of the war, and they were going to have a baby. How does anybody process that? They had many arguments about it, but unlike the ones years ago, they hugged and cried at the end of them.
She was five months pregnant when they met Voldemort again, and the young man came out of that one worse for wear. There are some scars that don't heal easily.
It was a crisp autumn day, and they were out for a walk in the nearby woodland with Sirius and Remus. It was beautiful, the young man had his arm around her waist, just touching her belly, walking along at a gentle pace. Sirius pushed Remus in a pile of leaves, and they all burst out laughing when they realised it was a hedgehogs nest – well all except Remus. Everything was perfect. Some may have said that they were being reckless, and that they shouldn't be outside like a time like this, but they ignored the warnings and had a lovely day. They went back to the couples house and had warm soup for lunch along with Peter who turned up just in time. The rest of the afternoon was spent with the young woman watching the boys play two-aside Quiditch in the garden. As she lay in bed that night, everything felt so perfect. It felt like nothing was wrong in the world, and that there was hope for her child. They were called to an order meeting the next day, to be told about the deaths of the Prewitt brothers. The world returned back to its battlefield.
A few months later and their baby was born. They had named him Harry, and they both adored him. He looked like his father, and the mother could already see the similarities in personality. He was going to be a trouble maker like his father; naturally she'd have her work cut out raising him around him and Sirius. She'd have to hope he'd inherited some of her cautiousness.
Time flew by, and pretty soon they realised they were in trouble. Deatheaters attacked there home, and tried to kill the baby. They just escaped, but they knew that Voldemort was after them.
They were told of the prophesy, and Dumbledore suggested they went into hiding. She convinced her husband to say yes, for the safety of their child. They were required to have a secret keeper; Dumbledore suggested himself, but the young man dismissed it – it would be Sirius. After being cornered by a bunch of deatheaters outside the Leaky Cauldron, they decided it was too obvious, so they chose Peter instead.
The young husband and father was on edge. The man who was once too trusting, now trusted scarcely, and was even doubting his friends. Remus took the brunt of it, because he was never there. The young woman tried to reason with him, after all Remus was undercover, but it was no use. They then made the hard move from Otterton to a cute little cottage in Godrics Hollow. Her parents died in a car accident on the way to visit her aunty Barbara, she wasn't allowed out to the funeral in case their location was caught.
He was going stir crazy and she tried her hardest to calm him down. Their friends came over when they could (which wasn't often), but even that wasn't enough to ease his suffering. He spent a lot of time in the nursery. She guessed it was to convince himself that it was all worth it.
They were betrayed, and he came.
James stood wide eyed as the curse hit him, knocking his now useless glasses off his head. He had panicked, he'd forgotten his wand. It was pretty obvious why he had lost. The last thought on his mind ever, just for that fraction of a second, had been his family. He loved them so much, and he hoped his sacrifice was enough.
It wasn't for her. Lily was holding Harry tightly to her, as if Voldemort would come up and snatch the child off her, when she heard James fall to the ground. She heard a thud, and knew he was gone. She wanted to cry for the loss of the man she loved, but no tears would come. There was no time. As the snake-like man told her to step aside, she only thought of her son, and how much she loved him. As she breathed her last breath, she just hoped that her sacrifice was enough.
This time it was.
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