Learning to Live Again

Part One: Peter and Susan

A/N: Hi Everyone! This is my first time doing a story like this, or even an actual story at all, since I always do oneshots, so please leave me a review! Enjoy!

Chapter One: A Talk With Aslan

Peter:

"Peter," Lucy shouts as she races towards me in the hall of our corridor in the Telmarine palace. "Peter!"

I smile as she nearly plows into me, "Whoa, slow down. What is it, Lu?"

"Aslan wants you in the courtyard right away. Susan, too. Do you know where she is?"

"I think I saw her head down to the kitchen a while ago, probably trying to learn another new recipe." I wonder what Aslan wants.

We've been here in the palace nearly a month now, and things have finally slowed down after the battle. I cannot wait to go explore Narnia and see all our favorite places. It's been so long.

I meet Susan near the entrance to the courtyard. I turn to go in, and she touches my arm. I stop and look at her. Her face is troubled. "What's wrong, Su?"

"Nothing, really. It's just… what if he sends us back?"

I smile as reassuringly as I can. That hadn't occurred to me. "Don't worry, Susan. Whatever happens, we'll pull through. Aslan always knows what's best for us. Anyway, I'm sure that won't happen. We stayed for fifteen years last time, remember?"

"How could I forget?" We turn to enter the courtyard, where Aslan is waiting for us.

"Good morning, your majesties. Come, walk with me. I have much to discuss."

Susan and I do as we are asked to. I wish I were like Lucy, and could just bury my face in Aslan's mane, or brush it with my fingers. Though I know I probably could, I hold back. I am a high king. I must behave as one.

"Peter, Susan," Aslan says in his deep voice that is so like a human, but at the same time unique. "I have something to tell you. You will not like it now, but you must learn to accept it over time. I am offering to send any Telmarines who wish to make a new start back to your world. Your time in Narnia is up. You must go, too."

I knew this would happen, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. Still, the great Lion always knows what's best for us, so I choose to remain silent, though I want to voice the protests that immediately come to mind. I take a deep breath.

"Can you tell us when we are coming back, Aslan?" I ask. One look into His eyes, and I know the answer. "We're not, are we." I say it more as a statement than a question.

"No, children. You will come back someday, but in a different way, and in a sense, to a different place. You must trust in me, whatever you do."

I glance at Susan, who has been very quiet during this exchange. There are silent tears glistening in her eyes, as she attempts to hold her sorrow inside.

I expect to feel angry, sad, something. Instead I stand there, feeling nothing. Nothing at all.

Susan:

This cannot be happening. He's sending us away? And we can't come back. But- this is home. It always has been, and it always will be. England used to be home, but that was a long time ago. It will never be the same again. How can I leave? Suddenly, tears spring to my eyes. I am a warrior, a queen. I am not a child, and I should not cry. But this is too much. Before I know it, I'm sobbing into Aslan's mane, and all I can think of is this will be the last time with Him. Just as suddenly as the tears come, they disappear, and I straighten up, feeling no better.

A few minutes later, I see Caspian coming towards us. I turn away quickly, not wanting anyone to see my tearstained face. I know he has, though. I feel so vulnerable and weak. Why am I suddenly not the strong queen that I have been for so many years? Then I look again toward Caspian, who is hovering near us awkwardly. As he is about to turn away, Aslan acknowledges him.

"We are ready," Caspian says. "Everyone has assembled."

I excuse myself and walk away slowly, trying to process the thoughts that are swirling around in my head. And suddenly, the realization hits, and I start to run. I do not know where I am going, but I have to get away from here, if only for a bit. When I am in the room given me, I throw myself on the bed and let the tears fall. They come fast and furiously, and though I try to stop them, they continue to flow. The thought that I am leaving my home forever is too much to handle, too much pain to bear. It was so hard the last time we left Narnia, even though we did not have to say goodbye, or go through any of this, but I always had the hope that we were coming back. When I finally got used to being in England again, after a full year of hardships, we were brought back here. Why? Just to be taken away from our home as quickly as we have come back? Why couldn't we have stayed here forever? England isn't home for us… this is our home, this is our life. We're kings and queens now, not schoolchildren. Though I don't want to, I feel a sudden, burning anger towards Aslan. This would not have happened to me if he had not willed it. How could he do this to us… to me?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

In too short a time, I have composed myself, and my siblings and I are gathered near the tree that is going to change my life… forever. How am I going to learn to live in England again? How is it ever going to be my home? I am leaving my true home forever, through no choice of my own. I try to pay attention, though I do not have any desire to. I glance at Peter. He looks like he, too, is trying to hold back his emotions, and I touch his arm, to tell him that I understand and that we will get through this… somehow.