Summary: The Laws of Hollow Bastion. // AUish Crack!Fic // KHFF7FF8 CROSSOVER // SLASH/YAOI // One: Sora, Reno, and Axel create havoc in the Chemistry Labs //
When Hollow Bastion Went Nuts
The Reason for the First Law
Hollow Bastion's First Law:
Anyone who has the name "Sora Hikari" "Reno Rose" or "Ale 'Axel' Rose" is not allowed in the Chemistry Labs. We can't afford the repair costs.
"Axel!" Sora called. "Wait up!" The taller teen turned and arched an eyebrow slightly.
"Something you need, squirt?" Axel asked.
Sora's eyes narrowed at the word squirt, and the minute he reached Axel he brought his knee up sharply.
"Fuck!"
"Don't call me squirt, you half-assed jerk named after a goddamn alcoholic drink!" Sora growled.
"Sorry," Axel coughed, bent over in pain. "Anything you need?" he asked after a second.
"Oh yeah!" Sora's face immediately brightened. He bent down and grabbed Axel's sleeve, pulling the still smarting taller teen after him. "Reno wanted to meet us in the Chemistry Lab! He thinks he's figured out--"
"Whoa, seriously!?" Axel interrupted, still being dragged by Sora.
"Yup!" Sora nodded and then added as an afterthought, "That and he wants your input on whatever firework/explosive thing he has cooked up for fun."
"Lots of fire?" Axel asked as Sora pulled them around a sharp turn and quickly through the market square, taking a left just past the item shop.
Sora glanced back with a wide grin and said, "Is there never?"
Axel's green eyes lit up and suddenly he was dragging Sora.
"What are we waiting for!?" he laughed.
"Reno!" Sora called as he and Axel maneuvered the hallways of the local science building. "Renoooooo where are youuuuuu?"
"Over here squir--fuck!"
"DON'T CALL ME SQUIRT!"
Axel snorted in the doorway at Reno's downed and twitching form. Sora had obviously kicked him down, and if the position of the smaller teens foot was any indication he was still hurting Reno's family jewels.
"Do. You. Understand?!" Sora growled.
"Not squirt! Not squirt!" Reno shrieked and Sora stepped away with a wicked grin.
"Good!"
Wincing, Reno pulled himself up and glanced at Axel before snorting, "So you got the customary greeting too, Ale?"
"Shut up," Axel mumbled, eye twitching. Reno let out another snort and sprawled on top of one of the counters. Axel stepped into the room and followed his brother's example. Sora hopped up on top of a third counter and looked at Reno expectantly.
"Soooooooo," Sora drawled. "Where is it?"
"Huh?" Reno arched an eyebrow inquiringly.
"You said you might've figured out the solution to--" Sora started.
"OH!" the red head sat up sharply. "That."
Axel snorted this time and said with a sarcastic, "Yes, Reno, that."
"Shut up, yo!" Reno snapped, tossing one of the test tubes in Axel's direction. Axel just twisted out of the way and stuck out his tongue.
"Missed me!" he sang, a smirk on his face.
"Stop it!" Sora interrupted. "I want that solution! NOW!"
"Oh relax a little, squirt," Reno rolled his eyes and barely dodged the test tube thrown his way. "Sora! That one had stuff in it, yo!" the red head yelped, staring at the smoking remains of the test tube.
"Solution. Now," Sora growled, tossing another test tube filled with something up and down.
"Reno?" Axel asked, eying one of the cabinets.
"What?"
"Is this Vexen's lab?"
"I dunno," Reno shrugged. "It had the acid I needed, and some pretty damn good notes, yo," he stated.
"SOLUTION!!!???" Sora yelled.
"Right!" Reno yelped, quickly leaping over a counter. "I put it over here, lemme just find it, yo!" he bent down and began to rummage through the various test tubes and beakers, muttering under his breath, "I swear I put it over here now where...so that's where the C4 went...AHA!"
Reno righted himself, a test tube filled with a funny blue liquid in hand, and a package of C4 in the other. "Here it is!"
Axel raised his head from the book he was flipping through and demanded, "You sure this one will work? It won't explode like the last three? And is that C4?!"
"Yes I'm sure," Reno rolled his eyes. "And yes this is C4!"
"Gimme!" Sora yelled, jumping off the counter and reaching for the test tube. He yanked it out of Reno's hand and then stumbled. Maneuvering quickly he curled into a ball and made sure not to let the test tube break. This had the unfortunate side-effect of rendering him dizzy.
"This is one of Vexen's labs," Axel stated.
"So? It had what I needed, yo!" Reno defended.
"You have C4," Axel continued.
"I left it here on accident!"
"Vexen houses his experiments in his labs--C4 doesn't react favorably with them, remember?"
"Eh..." Reno winced slightly.
"Furthermore the end is lit," Axel said, pointing to the lit end.
"Oh not again, yo!" Reno whined, pouting at the C4 in his hand.
"Whoa," Sora stated, "someone make the room stop spinning, 'kay?"
"Why don't you get rid of the C4 before it blows us up?" Axel questioned.
"Oi! I'm not wasting perfectly good C4--"
"Reno it's going to explode--"
"I'll just snip off the end then!" Reno snapped, grabbing a pair of scissors that were laying on the counter. He snipped off the end of the C4 that was currently lit, leaving about an inch worth of room on the fuse. "There! Problem solved, yo!"
"At least we won't blow up from the C4 this time," Axel mumbled and then froze. "Wait, where's Sora?"
"Huh? Oh shit..." Reno glanced at where he swore Sora was last (the counter) only to find the brunette missing. "He's gotta be in here somewhere, yo!"
"Yeah? Like where!" Axel growled.
"Ooooooh look at the shiny things," both red heads heard the words weakly said and quickly turned towards the noise, only to find a dizzy Sora slowly standing up and staring at the test tube. "So pretty...it's s'posed to help us, right?"
"Sora don't move!" Axel whispered fiercely.
"Huh? Axel?" Sora turned sharply, tripped, and crashed to the ground.
Both Axel and Reno winced at the resounding crash that sounded and waited for the following 'boom' to come. Both relaxed when said boom failed to sound.
"Ow..."
"You okay Sora?" Reno asked.
"I need a doctor," Sora called weakly.
"What hurts and why can't a cure fix it?" Axel questioned.
"Everywhere..." Sora stated.
Both red head's winced at that. Reno hissed to Axel, "You go pick him up--and be careful! We don't want Ven on our hides for hurting him, yo!"
"Got it," Axel mumbled and quickly made his way over towards Sora. He carefully hefted the teen up and pulled him over towards Reno.
"The solution survived the fall," Axel told Reno.
"Okay, good. He'd be pissed if it was destroyed, yo," Reno nodded.
"Duh."
"I swear I heard a crash coming from one of your labs."
"You had better not be lying to me Zexion!"
"Why would I lie to you? I'm not that dishonest, Vexen."
"Hmph!"
"Shit!" Reno hissed. "We gotta move, yo!"
"No shit Sherlock," Axel growled and helped Sora head towards the door.
"Is that a light on in Lab Five?" they heard Vexen ask shrilly.
"See? I told you I heard something."
Reno and Axel traded looks over Sora's head and nodded.
"Window," they mouthed and Axel began to head towards the window with Sora. Reno followed after, wincing when his feet stepped on some of the crushed glass.
"Someone's in there!" Vexen shrieked.
"Then hurry up and get them out; Lab Five was the one with the dangerous and explosive substances, right?" Zexion questioned.
"Run!" Reno hissed and Axel pulled Sora into his arms, pushed open the window, leaped out (thankful that they weren't more than three feet above the ground) and ran, followed quickly by Reno.
"MY EXPERIMENTS!" the three heard Vexen shriek and they ran faster, only stopping once they reached one of the alley's. Axel quickly cast cure on Sora before turning towards Reno.
"You have the solution?" he demanded.
"Yes--" Reno started when the ground shook and an earth-shattering KA-BOOM sounded. "--but I lost the C4, yo," Reno finished weakly.
"Aw fuck!"
"RENO! ALE! SORA!"
"We're screwed over to the seventh layer of hell with no pleasantries on the side, aren't we," Sora uttered from his place on the ground against the wall.
"Where did you learn that one?" Axel asked.
"Leon," Sora stated bluntly.
"Huh, I didn't know Leon could swear. You learn something new everyday after all," Axel muttered, blinking his eyes in surprise.
"You three had better go, fast," Zexion interrupted from one end of the alley. "Vexen's running like the hounds of hell are after him--he's really pissed off. I think that was the lab on where he was working on the enhancer for the defenses of the town."
"Right, thanks," Reno said quickly, grabbing Sora and Axel's wrists. "Bye Zexion!" he dragged the two away, leaving behind a dust cloud. Zexion sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I'd better go before that asshole gets here," he mumbled and promptly disappeared.
"Why did I get a notice that one of Vexen's labs got blown up, again?" Leon asked the three troublemaker's in front of him with a raised eyebrow.
"It was an accident involving flying monkey's, invisible spider's, and a handful of C4!" Sora said seriously.
Leon groaned and covered his face with one hand.
"Soooo....what's the verdict? How long are we banned this time, yo?" Reno questioned.
Leon moved his hand to stare at the two before stating, "Indefinitely."
"Huh?" Axel blinked. "You mean...forever?"
"Thanks to you Vexen has demanded that the Hollow Bastion Law Act be passed," Leon growled. "Because of the costs of repair, and the numerous times you've blown up one of Vexen's or any other lab, the committee has agreed to pass it. From this day forth Hollow Bastion's First Law reads: Anyone who has the name "Sora Hikari" "Reno Rose" or "Ale 'Axel' Rose" is not allowed in the Chemistry Labs. We can't afford the repair costs."
"Aw damn it," Reno scowled. "That means forever, yo."
"I hate you," Axel stated, staring right at Reno.
"If this cost me my solution consider yourselves dead," Sora deadpanned, causing both red head's to wince and Leon to sigh.
"Get out of my sight," the gunblade wielder groaned, and waved them out the door. The three left, glaring at each other.
The fist in an installment of one-shots (well, maybe not totally one-shots; more like random situations) focusing on mishaps at Hollow Bastion. Inspired by the various "Things so and so are no longer allowed to do" lists and random crack!fics I decided to make this.
The first 10 laws (and some amendments to said laws) have been written up. I just have to write the following story to go with them.
Anyway, here's the first chapter of the one-shot grouping known as When Hollow Bastion Went Nuts
Oh, and side note: I'm going to try and update my Profile...although I'm not too sure how well that will go.
TK
Twin Kats