AN: here we go again^^ so as always, have fun and no I own nothing not even my mystery Death Eater. I know I said it would be a story duo but I just had this feeling that something is missing so yeah here we are. Please read "Pride" and "Just her" first or I think you will have a problem to understand this one.
Oh and Geniia this one is for you as a little thanks for your support^^ I hope you like it!
It had been so long ago.
And still.
She remembered the last moment of his life.
All the time that thought of him, prayed to the heavens for his soul.
Had he gone to heaven?
Unlikely!
Someone had told her that only good people without sin could go to heaven.
He had been a sinner of the worst kind, and something told her that he never regretted what he had done.
He had not been the kind of guy that would regret anything, hadn't he?
Maybe! She didn't know or sure, she never knew anything for sure anymore. Not since he died.
Minerva looked out of the window like every day, hoping for some sign something to hold on to.
A knock on the door pulled her daydreams, dreams that had her encircled in his arms without a war between them, without Voldemort, without magic.
"Come in!" she called to the unknown intruder on the other side of the door.
Through the door of the headmaster office stepped Draco Malfoy with a little smile on his always cold smile on his face.
"Professor I'm sorry to be barging in on you without owling first but I had a minute time and my mother wanted you to get these." He placed a rather large bag on her desk smiling even wider. "Mom found them in one of the Death Eater quarters while helping the elves cleaning up the manor. She says that she is sorry but she has no idea who lived there but she thinks that what he wrote into them was somehow meant for you anyway." He nodded towards the bag as if encouraging her to open it. So she did!
Inside where books! At last thirty, probably more. She grabbed one out of the depths of the bad and opened it hesitantly. It was full of small, neat, sharp handwriting.
Dear Minerva,
Do you know I'm still thinking of you every day?
Dreaming myself back to you on that rooftop, forgetting everything around me until someone asks me rather rude if Askaban did that to me, that I can't concentrate on a task for more then a few minutes …
Diaries!
Could it be…?
Could they belong…?
Was it possible…?
Good Merlin!
Heavens!
"Dear gods out there in heaven o hell or where ever… good god thank you!", she whispered kissing the book, pressing it to her chest like her live depended on it, tears running down the proud, seemingly emotionless professors face.
Draco titled his head to the side, looking at his former transfiguration teacher in awe.
"So you know who wrote these? Excuse my bluntness but, … professor I never thought that you where that kind of girl!"
Minerva opened her eyes and looked at him, a tiny smile tugging at her lips.
"Yes and no Mr. Malfoy." he raised an eyebrow at her answer but said nothing, hoping for a better explanation.
"yes I know who wrote them, but no can't tell you his name. I don't know his name!", she confessed quietly.
"Well, my mother couldn't resist reading through most of them and he never mentioned who he is, nor gave he information about events he attended that could identify him. My mother's fantasy went havoc and she even toyed with the idea that it could be one or the torturers that escaped from Askaban at some point and that you had a secret love affair with him! Father had to tell her that the torturers would never entertain any kind of sexual relationship, to get her down from her romantic overdrive." he snickered.
"I think you've said enough now Mr. Malfoy now! And tell Narcissa that I only saw him twice! The first time was in my seventh year at school when he found me at the top of the astronomy tower as I wanted to jump of it and the second time when he was killed by bill Weasley right in front of my eyes in the final battle. We never had the time for a secret love affair or sexual relationship of any kind.", Minerva hissed a little upset about the way the boy had put it all.
Draco looked at her s if she had slapped him and then bowed his head guiltily, realizing that he had gone to far.
"Good day Mr. Malfoy!"
She turned back to the window waiting for him to leave before bolting back to the diaries on her desk.
Eager to read what he had thought over all these years.
What ha been going on in his head?
What had been going on in his heart?
What kind of man had been under the death eater exterior?
Dear Minerva,
So long!
So damn long!
How long?
I have not the slightest idea how long,
Too long to stand!
I want you in my arms, where you belong.
I want to bury my face in that soft, long hair of yours.
I want to sell you in my clothes, my bedsheets, Merlin even on my own skin!
…
She forcefully shut the book and pushed it away dry heaving, shaking with tearless sobs.
She couldn't it hurt to much!
His hand had written these words!
His hand!
Those were his thoughts!
That was HIM!
Oh how good she understood what he was talking about in these diaries, they could be hers!
Still sobbing she reached out to another book.
Dearest Love,
It's so dark!
I can't see the light…
It's so cold!
I'm scared!
Save me…
Please my angel! Please!
My angel…
My Light…
My warmth…
My life…
Save me!
Hold me close!
Carry me away from this place!
Be mine!
Be mine!
Let me feel you…
Let me breathe…
I can't breathe.
It's so cold!
Where are you?
Angel?
Love?
Minerva?
Minerva…
She couldn't read on.
It was too much to know that this proud man pleaded to this books, pleaded to her to rescue him from darkness and cold… from his life!
But he loved her!
He called her his love!
His angel!
He asked her to be his! She had always been his, she was his still and she would always be his!
The last book must have been fro a time when he had been somewhere wet and dirty… Askaban?
She took a book that looked new; it must bee the last one he started. There were still empty pages.
To day there was a raid again my love.
I saw your friends from the order.
One his me with a curse pretty bad.
It will heal… it always does.
Dearest Minerva,
I killed a young girl today.
She pleaded with me…
She looked so much like you on the tower.
So desperate… so scared!
She told me she didn't want to die unkissed. Have you ever been kissed my love?
I kissed her and she clung to me as if her life depended on it.
Well her life did depend on it. Or more precisely the moment of her death depended on it not the event itself.
I gave her a quick death while our lips were still locked so she wouldn't notice it happening.
No torture, no rape, no cruelty!
You would have been proud!
Dear Minerva,
There was a battle with Aurors today.
I brought one of them down with the bone burning curse.
It was so easy!
Os Ardens can't be stopped with shield charms, he should have hopped out of the way.
Your little pinky headed friend called me a monster when she realized what spell hit her friend.
Is that what I am?
A monster?
Is there anything left of me at all?
Anything tat is not Death Eater?
She looked up and out of the window for a moment.
Tonks had told her about this event. How the Death Eater moved like a dancing cat that had eaten the canary.
Dearest Love,
There is a little Muggle girl in the dungeons.
She sings this song all the time.
I think it somehow fits us my love.
"Well I am what you see
I am not what they say
but if I turned out to be
could you love me anyway
I'm staying anonymous
hoping your heart
will just wake up and ask for me by name
Maybe someday you will ask for me by name
just not today"
Will you do that Minerva?
Will you someday call my name into the darkness for me to hear and answer you?
Will you do that for me one day?
Hallo my love,
I nearly did something good today.
Nearly!
The little girl asked me to let her go.
I did!
She made it out of the house and down to the gate.
The wards killed her.
I pulled them up again the moment she stepped through the gate because I feared for my own life.
Minerva…
I think I am what they say…
Do you love me anyway?
Minerva?
Yes she did!
…