This is a story I came up with just today. Consider this a side project, and rest assured, Monster World and Theodore Tugboat: The Real Stories will continue. At the moment, Monster World is undergoing major re-thinking to implement the filler episodes mentioned in chapter 2, as well as improve the wording and add more dialogue (especially after reading Nobody Dies), and with TT:TRS, the first season stories require me to watch the episodes of TUGS, and copy the dialogue almost word-for-word (a few of you may notice a change in "Pirate", in which I don't have Captain Bob punish Theodore, but still have Theodore feel like he's being punished). And since the episodes tend to be dialogue-heavy, I have to pause the videos in order to copy down lines one at a time, and make other changes to dialogue in order to fit the characters, location, and plot.
But I digress. Onto the story!
The following is from the diary of a young man named Andy Sammonds. In 1981, he and his twin sister Katie were subject to a process stopping them from aging and effectively making them immortal. Several others who were either very wealthy (like the Sammonds family) or were chosen by the government as test subjects (mainly the elderly). The process was created following World War III, which ended with the Soviet Union's defeat (and with no nukes!).
The Sammonds Twins are perpetually 18 years old, as is Andy's girlfriend, Belle Johnson, and his overseas pen pals, Suki Honda of Japan, and Arthur Lawrence of England. Belle's uncle and owner of the local toy store, Mr. Johnson, is also immortal and ageless, stuck at the age of 64.
The following entries are from April 29, 1984-September 17, 1984
Friday, April 27, 1984
It was just another day in the Sammonds mansion. We lived in a nice mansion in the foothills of Portland, OR. It was two stories, but had a massive amount of space, with fifteen rooms (one of them was, of course, my bedroom, and another belonged to my beloved twin sister, Katie; IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!). The outdoor area was no slouch, either, with at least five acres of land under our ownership. My family was rich thanks to the Third World War.
In short, WWIII was a destructive conflict, even more destructive than World War II. Soviet forces actually landed on American soil and sought to annihilate anyone who wasn't a Communist, destroy all Western architecture, and annex the United States, all to exploit our oil, coal, timber, and uranium. Fortunately, with help from our NATO allies, the Soviets were evicted from America, and their invasion of Europe stopped cold in the Fulda Gap. And the best part? Not a single nuclear weapon was detonated during the war. All of that took place between 1979-1981. How did we get rich? All the war bonds we invested in made us richer beyond our wildest beliefs, allowing us to move out of the suburbs of San Jose, CA, to a nice home in the hills in Oregon.
Anyway, back to my day. I had just gotten home from high school. You see, I'm a senior, so once I graduate, I don't have to do anything for the rest of my life, in practice. But you see…I do. I want to do something with my life other than be the heir to the Sammonds fortune. I wanted a life…of fun. Little did I know a company in Pawtucket, RI was about to change that…
Walking through the door, the first thing I noticed was the fact that there was no one else home. Katie must be down at Johnson's again, I thought. Johnsons is the local toy store, run by the uncle of my girlfriend, Belle Johnson. Oh, Belle. The apple of my eye. Your name is French for "beauty", and you pull off being beautiful without having to resort to makeup. The amount of times I've kissed couldn't be counted on both fingers, and the amount of love I have for you would make every girl at school jealous…and does. You and me, Belle, together forever. Literally, since she also underwent the immortality procedure.
That reminds me, you must be wondering about that, right? I know, this is a bit too much exposition, but bear with me. After World War III, Soviet technology was brought over the United States, and it was decided to make the true purpose of Area 51 public. The Groom Lake installation houses all of America's technological research, and also houses extraterrestrial objects. Experiments with dark matter reach its zenith when Soviet technology and scientists, and soon, they unlocked the secret to immortality. The world rejoiced, but the UN put severe restrictions on the use of the technology, fearing overcrowding of the planet. So, the wealthy were given first dibs. And my family, as well as the Johnsons, Hondas, and Lawrences, were privy to the procedure. It's really simple. All they do is place you under a light, then a beam is fired between your eyes, and that's it. No pain, no side-effects (unless you count the increase in strength).
BACK TO THE STORY NOW. I was certain Katie was down at Johnson's, so I went to the bathroom to…take care of business. Looking in the mirror, I looked myself over. With my dark brunette hair and hazel eyes, I was like my father. My clothes that day were simple: blue shirt, khakis, white socks, and white sneakers (you'd LOVE to know about the color of my underwear, wouldn't you?). Katie looked like me, only her hair was longer and perpetually in a ponytail (even at bedtime). Katie was a confirmed tomboy, having an aversion to jewelry and makeup, preferring to go au natural. On this day, she was wearing a red t-shirt, blue jeans, white socks, and black sneakers. Katie. Now there's an amazing young woman. I've loved her all my life, and she's loved me for just as long. We're so close, in fact, that there were whispers in freshman year whether we were an incestuous couple (let me dispel those rumors by saying they are TOTAL BULLSHIT).
After taking care of business in the bathroom, I went to my room. It wasn't much, really. It had a bed and a bookshelf with books on it. On my nightstand was a run-of-the-mill lamp, and on my desk was a model of the RMS Queen Mary (did I mention I dabble in models?).
Also in my room was a TV. Again, nothing too fancy, just a standard RCA model. I turned it on and changed the channel to CBS, which was having its afternoon cartoon block, made up of first-run syndication series, such as G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero. I could just never get into the series, despite the fact I always liked watching Cobra Commander and Destro go at each other, and the Baroness was always nice to look at (but not enough to distract me from Belle). The toyline was intriguing, but it never caught on with me and Katie. You see, one of our favorite pastimes is war gaming, which we did constantly throughout WWIII. Using miniatures from multiple games, we simulated the battles between the NATO and Warsaw Pact that dominated the nightly news. My Japanese penpal, Suki Honda, often sent me toys she thought would interest me. One toy in particular that piqued my interest was a toy made by a Japanese company called Takara. It was called Micro Man, and the toy in question was MC-05 Camera Robo Microx. The toy was three little robot men who combined to make a camera. It wasn't a functional camera, but nonetheless, I was really impressed (thank god for those Japanese classes or I wouldn't have been able to read those instructions).
I was watching G.I. Joe, and commercials came. It was nothing new, just commercials for local car dealerships and a McDonaldland commercial, plus an advertisement for Major League Baseball.
Then, it happened.
A commercial I had never seen before appeared. The animation looked…Japanese in nature. There was a voice, smooth and calm.
His narration was magnificent.
It is a world transformed, where things are not what they seem. It is the world of THE TRANSFORMERS.
A group of singers sang the last two words of that second sentence, as three F-15 fighters transformed into robots. Singers begin to harmonize a tune I would never forget:
The Transformers!
More Than Meets the Eye!
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!
As the lyrics were being sung, the three robots attacked a power plant, and three cars came rushing out of a cave. One of them was a police car, another was a race car, and the third was a red Lamborghini. They went to the power plant, where the three robots that had transformed from jets were, along with another robot brandishing a giant black tube on its right arm. The three cars transformed into robots, and the grey robot with what appeared to be a black helmet fired from the black tube. It was a cannon!
The singing continued:
The Transformers!
Robots in Disguise!
The lyric "robots in disguise" was said in a very cool voice. Impressive how far voice modulation had come.
And then it appeared. The three car robots jumped offscreen, and out of the dust they created, came a Mack truck. The cab transformed into a robot and fired a big gun as the singers repeated the first two lines of the song.
The narrator said one last thing: The Transformers, from Marvel Comics.
When the commercial ended, I was speechless. It was just a thirty-second ad, but it had served its purpose. Ten seconds later, I responded.
"WHOO!" I cried, ""BEST! COMMERCIAL! EVER!" My mind was swimming with thoughts. What was this thing that suddenly had my attention? What was The Transformers? What? What?! WHAT?!
Instinct told me where to find the answers. I bolted out the door, then stopped to lock it, before heading down the path to the road, and ran as fast as I could into town.
Running on Main Street of the sleepy little town of Kimball, I found the place I was looking for.
It was a place that parents had to literally drag their kids out of. A golden wonderland of manufactured fun. The front was simple, with a brick façade and a sign that spelled it all out.
Johnson's Toy Shop.
I noticed the door was open, probably because Mr. Johnson wanted to cool the store down. This heatwave was killing us all, and the ice-packing plant down the road made it known with their ranting and raving in the paper this morning. Walking inside, the old place hadn't changed at all. Blue carpet, shelves lined with the latest toys from the top manufacturers, and overhead, train tracks with an LGB G-scale train. The store also had a section for comics, board games, and VHS tapes. The comics were mostly from Marvel and DC, but this being what the comic club at school calls the "Silver Age", I hardly paid them any attention. What I did like, though, were the Archie comics. The never-ending battles between Betty and Veronica over Archie always entertained, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch was a hoot, as well.
I looked at the comic shelves, scanning for what I came for. Then, I found it…almost. It was one of the placeholder cards Mr. Johnson often put to announce upcoming comics from the various publishers (he has quite a few connections). The card this time read:
THE TRANSFORMERS #1
COMING MAY 8, 1984
FROM MARVEL COMICS
I just about exploded with glee when I saw the announcement. And you know what? I did.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" I shouted. A few people in the store stared at me, and gave puzzled looks. Noticing this, I turned to address them.
"Return to your lives, citizens" I said, "Nothing to see here."
These patrons were townspeople, and knew me well. They laughed and went back to their business. Then, a chuckle came from behind me.
"Is that Andy I hear?" said the voice. I turned, and saw the owner himself, Mr. Johnson. A man at the age of 64, he had a graying beard, and was also balding. But despite that, he, too, was immortal, thanks to being one of the randomly-selected test subjects for the immortality experiment.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson" I said, "Sorry about the noise."
"Oh, don't worry about it!" he replied, "I love hearing cheering like that! Now, what's the cheering about?"
"This" I said, and pointed at the placeholder card.
"Oh, that" he said, "Marvel's newest venture. You know, I've been on the horn with them, and they said this isn't just a comic book series."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, apparently, they're making a big project out of it. In addition to the comic, there's also gonna be a toyline and a first-run syndication cartoon."
I was speechless. Really, I was. A toyline? AND a cartoon?
"So, tell me" asked Mr. Johnson, "Where did you hear about The Transformers?"
"I saw a commercial for it on CBS."
"Ah, yes, that commercial. When I saw that, I said to myself 'I gotta get that in my shop'. And lo and behold, it's on its way."
"I'll be here on launch day!" I said, excitedly.
"I'll do you one better. How about reserving a copy?"
"That sounds awesome!" I said. Wouldn't put a dent in my finances. I'm f*cking rich! Plus, back then, comic books were 75 cents. So, I handed him three quarters, and followed him to the register to get the receipt.
After getting the receipt, I turned to browse a little more. Wouldn't hurt to see what else they had. I looked in the G.I. Joe section, and found some figures I had never seen before, but like I said, I could just never get into G.I. Joe, especially since some of the images in the cartoon brought to mind Soviet bombers destroying my neighborhood back in San Jose. The whole event is still fresh in my mind. The explosions. The screaming. The blood. The giblets. The paratroopers menacing me with AK-47s before some marines saved me. Then, as me, Katie, and Belle were being evacuated in an army truck, the sight of a Soviet bomber crashing into the elementary school after being shot down by an F-15. Just like the F-15s that transformed into robots in that commercial. Now, I was still out of the loop on the whole thing. Who were the Autobots and Decepticons? How do they transform? Are they manned? Or are they autonomous? Questions, questions, questions. Hopefully the comic could answer them.
I returned to reality after having a mental debate with myself, as a pair of arms wrapped around me. I knew who it was.
I felt a head rest on my shoulder, and soft lips on my cheek. Then, a voice I've known my entire life.
"Hi, Andy" said the voice.
"Hi, Katie" I said, placing a hand on her head as she sighed. The deep bond between us was what got us through the war without losing our sanities. We were always there for each other, especially after seeing disturbing images on TV. I loved her, and she loved me. So much.
"So, what brings you down here?" she asked as she broke away from me.
"Well, I was at home, in my room, watching G.I. Joe on CBS, and then commercials came on. You know, for the car dealerships in Portland, and McDonald's, and baseball, and then I saw a commercial. A commercial that…it…" I was trying to search for the right words.
"What? What is it?" she asked.
"There are no words to describe how amazing it was" I finally said.
"How amazing was it?"
I divulged the details of the commercial, then what Mr. Johnson told me. As I did, Katie's eyes got bigger, and a big smile crossed her face.
"Andy" she said after I finished, "I think…I think this could be the future of our wargaming, don't you think?"
"It crossed my mind" I replied, "At least we can cull from a single toyline rather than have to buy a bunch of games just to assemble armies."
"I know, right? It gets SOOOO frustrating sifting through a bunch of miniature wargames just to find the miniatures we want."
"Comic comes out on May 8. We can use it to research battle formations."
"Sounds good."
Back at home, me and Katie were watching the 6 o' clock news while eating dinner. I was eating fruit salad, while Katie had a hamburger. Our parents were also home, eating in the other room.
The two of us groaned when we saw the weather report.
"This heatwave is KILLING US!" Katie shouted.
"It's killing the ice-packing plant more" I said, "Their rant in the paper this morning was the talk of the school. News flash: there's such a thing as a FREEZER!"
"Well, at least we have A/C" said Katie, "That's always a plus."
Then, it happened. I don't know why or how, but the commercial came on.
"Oh my god, Katie, there it is!"
Seeing the commercial a second time only ingrained it in my mind. Katie was sitting there, mouth agape, eyes bugging out. As the commercial ended, Katie just shut down and slumped on me.
"Thank you" she said weakly.
"For what?" I asked, softly.
"For introducing me to our next wargame scenario."
I said no more, and kissed her on the forehead. When Katie was happy, I was happy.
Tuesday, May 8, 1984
The bell rang, and me and Katie were the first out of the door. For two and a half weeks, we had anticipated this day. Belle was with us, as well, having been a longtime spectator of our wargames. Now Belle looked quite a bit like Katie (but with blue eyes and a slightly different face), and like her, was also a major tomboy, perpetually wearing her hair in a ponytail and having an aversion to makeup and jewelry (I should note that neither have ever had their ears pierced).
The three of us dashed towards Johnson's, and bolted through the door. Stopping to catch our breaths, we strode over to the comic section…
"Oh my god" said Katie in awe.
"It's beautiful" gasped Belle.
I was imitating a chorus of angels as I reached for it. Closing my right hand, I felt it.
"Ah, a plastic sleeve. Gotta keep this…"
Picking it up, the full beauty of the comic was revealed. On it was the truck cab robot, holding a smaller robot in its left hand while another robot streaked downward at a 45 degree angle. The faces of two humans were in the background. Mr. Johnson was watching from the register, beaming with joy that he had made our day.
Arriving back home, we went up to my room, sat on my bed, and carefully opened the plastic sleeve. Pulling out the comic, I got a good feel of it.
"This must be that high-quality Mando paper the comic club was talking about" I said.
"Well, don't leave us in suspense" exclaimed Katie, "Open it!"
And so I did. For the next twenty minutes, we found ourselves travelling to a whole new world. We met the Autobots and Decepticons, learned about their conflict, and met the cast.
By the time we reached the end, Katie was in tears. I could understand why, as I was near tears as well. I didn't like this comic. I loved it. I really, really loved it. Seeing the tears streaming down Katie's face, I pulled her into a hug, and she buried her face in my chest, allowing the warmth to spread on her face. We broke apart about a minute later, but I had no time to collect myself before Belle glomped me, thus starting another makeout session.
Five minutes later, we had stopped making out, and were now cuddling. Katie had left to give us some privacy, and had put the comic back in its plastic sleeve and on my nightstand so I could re-read it later.
Belle gave an affectionate sigh.
"That comic…was awesome."
"Mm, yes. And there's a cartoon coming out this fall."
"I'm gonna love that. But my newfound love for this greatness we call Transformers pales in comparison to my love for you, Andy."
"I know it does, Belle. I know it does."
And we softly, passionately kissed each other on the lips once more.
That night, I re-read the comic, and picked up some things I didn't get the first time. I also noticed art and continuity errors. Oh well, I thought. First issue of the series. Then, I saw something on the cover that made me break out in a cold sweat.
#1 IN A FOUR-ISSUE LIMITED SERIES
Knowing this could very well only last four issues, I re-read the comic again to savor it. I went to Katie's room, where she was reading an issue of Life with Archie.
"Katie."
"Oh, hello, Andy. Just watching Betty and Veronica go at it again."
"I saw something worrying on here just now."
"Really? What is it?"
And I showed her the subtitle at the top.
"Oh…oh…well…let's just hope it becomes massively successful. That's the only way to keep a comic series afloat."
After discussing some of the finer points of the comic, we hugged each other goodnight, and I drifted off to sleep. That night, I dreamed of battles between Autobots and Decepticons.
Friday, May 18, 1984
Today, I went down to Johnson's to see what was new. Belle was there helping her uncle create a new section. Some older toys that had been warming the shelves since 1974 were being removed and donated to the Salvation Army.
"Afternoon, all" I said as I entered the section they were working on. It was a pretty sizeable section, large enough to hold an entire toyline.
"Oh, hello, Andy!" said Mr. Johnson. Belle got off a stepstool she was standing on and walked over, and hugged me.
After we broke away, I walked up to Mr. Johnson.
"So, what's going on?" I asked.
"Shipment of toys came in today" he said. I turned to Belle. She looked like she was about to burst.
"You know what they are?" I asked.
"No, Uncle said it was a surprise. And I can't wait!"
Me and Belle spent the next hour helping Mr. Johnson set up, cleaning the shelves with Windex (I always loved the smell of this stuff), and setting up signs. The signs, though, were covered with bedsheets.
After a lot of hard work, everything was ready. Almost.
"There's something missing" I said.
"I know exactly what you mean, Andy" replied Mr. Johnson, "And I've got the solution!"
He got up on the step ladder, and took a bedsheet off a sign.
And everything went black.
When I came to, the first person I saw was Belle. Then Katie. And finally, Mr. Johnson.
"You alright?" asked Mr. Johnson, worry etched on his face.
"What happened?" I asked, groggily.
"You took quite the buster, Andy" replied Katie, "After you saw that sign."
I looked up at the sign and saw the very thing that made me faint.
THE TRANSFORMERS
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!
I looked at it, for a minute or two, still sitting on the floor. Then, I stood up.
And looked at the sign a bit more.
And screamed.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
All of a sudden, I was dancing all around the store, hootin' and hollerin'. Katie and Belle got in on it, too, and even Mr. Johnson laughed.
"BEST! DAY! EVER!" the three of us shouted in unison.
In just a few minutes, Mr. Johnson had brought out all of the toys. Me, Katie, and Belle were instructed to stay out of the section until everything was ready. So, we meandered amongst the Star Wars toys and me and Katie began reminiscing on a few particularly fierce wargame scenarios featuring Star Wars toys. If I had to pick the most fierce, I'd say it was the Second Battle of Hoth, in which Katie's Imperial forces were at a distinct tactical disadvantage, and she lost all of her AT-ATs before they could reach the shield generator. That, and Luke cut down a ton of snowtroopers and even dueled with Darth Vader. Another fierce battle took place on Yavin IV, in which we simulated the Evacuation of the Rebel Base.
After mulling around a bit, Mr. Johnson walked over with a big grin on his face.
"Alright, it's ready!" he said, excitedly, "Well, what are you waiting for? Come and see it!"
And so the three of us followed him to the new section, quivering in anticipation.
"No, no" Katie said, putting a hand over her eyes, "I am unworthy of basking in its glory!"
"None of us are worthy, Katie" I said in a kingly voice, "But we are the chosen of Cybertron, and 'tis our duty to see the war through."
"I just can't wait to see it unfold!" exclaimed Belle, excitedly.
Rounding the corner, we entered the section. And fell to our knees.
"Mother of God" said Katie in awe.
"We are not worthy!" cried Belle, groveling before the shelves.
I stood up, tears in my eyes, as I saw him. Taking the box in both hands, I looked at it, front and back. The box was made of cardboard, with a little window made of plastic showing just what was inside, never mind the awesome artwork on the left-hand side. Inside the window was the red and blue truck cab and grey trailer, with the Autobot insignia.
"Ladies" I whispered, "Witness…"
Unable to keep it from them anymore, I held the box aloft. Katie and Belle gazed in awe, to the point I swore I saw sparkles in their eyes. My hands were trembling, but I still managed to keep a hold on the box that held the Holy Grail of the entire line.
"AUTOBOT COMMANDER OPTIMUS PRIME!" I cried. Katie and Belle gave three shouts of "Huzzah!" as I brought the box to eye level. Looking at the back, I noted all of the features of this toy. He had it all: a Laser Blaster, two fists (left and right), Trailer/Combat Deck, Roller, four rockets, hose, nozzle, and fuel pump. I then reached for the nearest box on the toy shelf and found it was the tape deck player Decepticon.
"Communications Officer Soundwave" I whispered. I looked on the back of his box. Like Optimus Prime, Soundwave had it all: a rocket launcher, three rockets, a concussion blaster, and a cassette named Buzzsaw. Looking on the shelf, I saw a pair of blister card two-packs containing the other cassettes I knew in the comic: Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, and Laserbeak.
Scanning the shelf, I soon spotted everyone else I saw in the comic:
The Autobot Mini-Cars (Bumblebee, Brawn, Cliffjumper, Gears, Huffer, and Windcharger).
The Autobot Cars (Bluestreak, Hound, Ironhide, Jazz, Mirage, Prowl, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Trailbreaker, and Wheeljack).
The Decepticon planes (Skywarp, Starscream, and Thundercracker).
And last but not least, Decepticon Leader Megatron.
"So, whaddaya think?" asked Mr. Johnson.
I spent a few minutes looking over each toy before giving my answer.
"I'll take one of each" was all I said, and Mr. Johnson's face lit up.
"You know, Andy, you're the reason I stay in business." And he patted me on the shoulder as he rang them up.
Arriving back at the mansion with the haul of the entire Transformers toyline, me, Katie, and Belle rushed upstairs with the container full of all the toys, still boxed.
"This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy, we have an entire toyline" Katie muttered to herself.
"A bit smaller than I thought" I said, "But, then again, this is everyone who appeared in the comic."
Belle was on the porch, having noticed a package addressed to me. Bringing it in, she noticed the return address. The Honda Residence.
Suki had sent me another toy.
I carefully placed the boxes on my bed, Katie waiting with bated breath. Belle walked into the room just as the last toy had been placed on the bed.
"Hey Andy" she said, "You got a package. Suki sent it."
"Another toy?" I asked, "Wonder what it is?"
And so, I opened the package, and looked inside.
Then I got a nosebleed from pure shock.
It was him. Optimus Prime. Only without Autobot sigils. The packaging had Japanese writing on it, but I could clearly see what was on the trailer.
DIACLONE
I asked myself "What the f*ck am I looking at?!" Seriously, what was this? Was it Optimus Prime's evil twin? His wife? His third cousin? What? WHAT? WHAT?!
I sprang to the phone and called up Suki. It was probably nighttime in Saitama Prefecture, but then again, Suki tended to stay up late playing Atari 2600.
The phone rang. And don't worry, we're rich enough to pay long-distance charges.
"Konnichiwa?" said a voice.
"Hello, Suki" I said.
"Oh, hello, Andy!" she said excitedly. Her English was impeccable, and a stint here in America in a student exchange program had all but eliminated her accent. It was still noticeable when she spoke Japanese, though. "Calling about that toy I sent you? Cool, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is, but what is it?" I asked.
"It's Battle Convoy, from the Diaclone line by Takara!" she answered, excitedly.
"Battle Convoy" I echoed back, "Is that the Japanese name for Optimus Prime?"
Silence.
"I'm sorry, who?" Suki asked.
"There's this new toyline here in America called The Transformers, and the character Optimus Prime looks a lot like-NO, just LIKE Battle Convoy! The only difference is the decoration of the trailer and the…lack of human figures."
Suki fell silent again.
"Hello? Suki?"
"Who's making this toyline?" she asked after a minute.
"Hasbro, in Pawtucket, Rhode Island."
"Seems like Hasbro has imported the Diaclone line from Japan. Are there construction vehicles?"
"No."
"Jets?"
"Yes."
"Cars?"
"Yes."
"Hmm. I'm guessing only half the Diaclone line was imported."
"Does the Diaclone line also have a robot that transforms into a tape player, robots that transform into cassettes, and a robot that transforms into a Walthers P-38?"
"That sounds like Takara's other transforming robot line, Microchange. Hasbro must have imported a few items from that line, as well."
"Are the Diaclone and Microchange lines popular?"
"Very popular."
"Then I'm not gonna worry about the survival of this toyline."
"This all sounds very, very interesting. Keep me posted."
"Alright, Suki. Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight, Andy."
After hanging up the phone, I turned back to the toys still in their boxes on my bed. I knew there would come a day when Battle Convoy could come in handy, but for now, he would be filed away on my desk, not to be unboxed until needed.
One-by-one, I unboxed (or un-carded) each toy with care as Katie and Belle watched. When I got to Bumblebee, I noticed the blister card had a red version as well. Wondering who this was, I set the red one down on my nightstand, not sure what to make of it. Then, I go to Cliffjumper's blister card.
"What the-HEY!" I cried, "There's a yellow Cliffjumper on this card! In addition to the normal red one! What game is Hasbro playing at?! Trying to make the toyline look bigger? Well, a simple redeco isn't going to make your line look bigger! It's just gonna make you look lazy!"
Nevertheless, I now had two more toys than I expected. Placing the normal red Cliffjumper on my bed, I looked at the yellow Cliffjumper, and noticed a few subtle differences.
"I could make this one work" I said, "I'll name you Bumper." Then, I grabbed the red Bumblebee, and stared at it. It truly was a simple redecoration of Bumblebee.
"I'll call you…Hornet, Bumblebee's twin sister."
Placing the newly-christened Bumper and Hornet on my bed, I set about separating the toys into their respective factions. When all was said and done, I noticed something. The Autobots outnumbered the Decepticons! So does that make the Autobots the TRUE villains and the Decepticons just misunderstood? Then again, the amount of Decepticons I possessed corresponded to the amount of Decepticons in the comic. And the Decepticons were fighters compared to the Autobots, anyway. So, I guess the numbers game is moot here.
Katie was practically drooling over the toys. I hadn't transformed any of them yet, because I hadn't looked at the instructions yet. So, I looked on the back of Bumblebee's blister card, and found instructions. Following them step-by-step, in a just a few seconds, Bumblebee had gone from car to robot. As I went through the motions, my eyes widened as Bumblebee went from a penny racer to a little robot. Then, I did the same thing to the other Mini Cars, following the instructions on the back of their blister cards, and soon, I had an army of small robots.
Then, I turned to the larger toys. "Hoo-boy" I said, "Let's get to work."
Looking at the instructions, I carefully transformed each toy from car/jet/tape deck/gun/cassette to robot, each transformation bringing a smile to my face. Katie and Belle both watching, and looking at the boxes. Apparently, there was something on them called Tech Specs, which both were decoding using the red decoders that came with the toys. Then, Katie got a pad of binder paper to copy down the stats. We'd need them for our upcoming wargame.
When all was said and done, the three of us stood there, silently looking at the magnificent toys that now graced us with their presence. The war would start soon…but me and Katie had work to do first.
July 10, 1984
A day after me and Katie's birthday, and over a month since we graduated high school, we had started major construction on a project for the war. Before that, though, Belle had told us to go to Johnson's; issue #2 of the comic book series was out! Rushing down to get it, we fervently read and absorbed every detail, taking in the dire situation the Autobots were in.
Back at home, the two of us went out back to a site we had earmarked as the Ark crash site. We had purchased sand in bulk from the nearby sand quarry to create the desert scene, and used plaster to create Mount St. Hillary (which we realized was based on Mount St. Helens). Then, using parts from many plastic kits, we scratchbuilt a facsimile of the Ark, and created a cutaway section with the Ark's computer, repair bay for Ratchet to work at, and storage bay for the Autobots. All construction took place under an awning, and the awning would stay up at almost all times except for when the war is in progress (and especially in inclement weather).
Leaving the awning up so the plaster and glue could dry, me and Katie headed back inside for the other project: the surface of Cybertron. Constructing it in one of the empty rooms in the mansion, we scratchbuilt a good three square feet of Cybertronian city using kits from various model railroad manufacturers, making sure to leave some buildings half-finished to simulate a war-torn environment. We also intentionally damaged buildings and scattered some Gundam models around to simulate dead Transformers (we even made photocopies of Autobot and Decepticon sigils to stick on them, and even found a brand of similar transforming toys by Tonka called GoBots, which also made suitable set-dressing as civilians killed in a Decepticon act of genocide; our Cybertron was a vision of Hell, for sure). Scattering loose pieces of plastic around to simulate rubble, we then proceeded to do some kitbashing to create turrets. Using parts from Gundam and Revell kits, we created a defense grid, and then broke out the paints to add scorch marks to the buildings, roads, and dead robots.
Later that day, while eating lunch, I noticed something in Optimus Prime's box.
"Hey, Katie, there's something in Prime's box!" I said.
"What is it?" she asked.
"It's…some sort of flyer."
I looked at the cover, and on it was a thrilling-looking space battle. Starscream was firing some sort of pistol, to which I thought 'why is he using a pistol and not his null rays?'
Opening it up, I found it was a mail-order flyer.
"Robot points, eh?" I thought aloud.
"Sounds like a way to push more toys" added Katie, "I mean, would it KILL Hasbro to just release these toys in the stores?"
"Well, gotta have a secondary source of income."
"Ah, that is very true. These robot points, though. Seems like good motivation for kids to buy more toys."
Then, me and Katie looked at each other for a second or two, and rushed upstairs to find the boxes and blister cards for each toy; by now, they were all on my desk, waiting, psyching themselves, and taking in the calm before the storm. Sure enough, the boxes did indeed have robot points on them.
"I'll get the scissors" said Katie.
"I'll get the envelope" I said.
Under a minute later, we were back, and were cutting out the robot points and putting them in the envelope, along with the order form. We sprang for three Powerdashers and all three Omnibots.
"What about the Time Warriors?" asked Katie.
"Mm…I don't know" I said thoughtfully, "If you ask me, they're just fancy wristwatches."
"So, no-go?"
"No-go on the Time Warriors."
And so it was settled. The Powerdashers and Omnibots were the ones we would go with, and the Time Warriors would be left out (or deferred to a later date, if they were still available). Writing up the check (remember, we're filthy rich), we sealed the envelope and walked outside. Our first mail order, I thought. Reinforcements from Cybertron, indeed.
Then I remembered something on the order form.
"Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery".
Oh well, I thought. They can come in our hour of need, at least.
Still, though. 6-8 weeks? That could almost be two months!
July 11, 1984
The room that the Cybertron set was located in had a partition, so we opened it up to connect with the other room, and began laying the groundwork to expand the set, which was becoming rather elaborate as we added more and more details to it. The expansion would depict territory under Decepticon control, while the first part would depict the war-torn capitol of Iacon (as it was called in the first issue of the comic).
A few friends of ours from the model making club came to assist us. Bringing plastic molds with them, they churned out buildings for the new section, and also created models for the outdoor, "Earth-based" locations, such as a power plant, an oil refinery, a damn, and an elaborate set depicting our town of Kimball, OR (the first issue actually stated that the Ark had crashed near Portland, so we were tempted to make an elaborate Portland set, but decided to save it until we had a car of our own so we could do field research).
Later on, Belle came over to help in making a seaport along the shore of the lake on our property. With help from the model making club, we created a thriving container port, and also constructed a second oil refinery and an offshore platform. If the Decepticons needed energy, where else to get it than all these places we were building?
That evening, a topping-out ceremony for the last full skyscraper on the Cybertron set took place, and the model making club took their leave. Me, Katie, and Belle did an inspection of all the new constructions. By now, the glue had dried, and now, all that needed to happen was for the lines to be drawn. In other words, it was time for me and Katie to choose sides.
"We'll decide it based on a coin toss" I said.
"Deal" Katie replied. We had settled a similar dispute for the Evacuation of Yavin wargame.
Bringing out a quarter, I placed it on my thumb, ready to flip in the air like Two-Face.
"Alright, here's how it'll go" I said, "Heads is Autobots, Tails is Decepticons. Fair enough?"
"Sounds alright" she responded. Belle was spectating the whole thing, like she had for our last few wargames.
"Here we go" I said. And with a flick of my thumb, the quarter flipped into the air. Allowing it to fall to the ground, it landed on…
"Heads" I said, "So I'm the Autobots."
"That makes me the Decepticons, then" replied Katie. Then a sly smirk crossed her face. "You know what that means, right?"
"What?" I asked, puzzled.
"I'm coming for YOU! I'll bleed this whole planet dry and destroy your forces!"
"Tut-tut, Katie. You know my forces outnumber yours at least 5-2."
"Well, the Decepticons are fighters, and the Autobots are guerilla fighters. So, that gives my forces the superior firepower."
Now, before you ask, we were not arguing. We were simply debating the pros and cons of our sides. Katie was right, anyway. The Decepticons had better firepower, though technically, the Autobots easily outnumbered them.
A couple of minutes later, me and Katie were moving the toys to the Cybertron set. The set had been constructed with enough room for me and her to get down on the ground to move and manipulate the toys. All of the characters with weapons now had them in hand, and all were in robot mode, except for the cassettes, who were all tucked away in Soundwave, ready to carry out espionage.
"This will be our finest wargame" I said, "All other wargames will pale in comparison to the conflict that is about to unfold."
"The Decepticons will whoop. Your. ASS."
"The numbers game hardly matters, you know."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, Megatron has a FREAKIN' FUSION CANNON! And what's the best weapon the Autobots have? Optimus Prime's blaster. And just look at the Mini Cars. No weapons at all!"
"Let's say they have wrist-cannons and leave it at that."
"Alright, but what about their alt-modes? The Decepticons almost all have weapons in both modes, bar Soundwave. But then again, he's a tape deck in his alternate mode, so I guess he can use sound as a weapon? But what about the Autobots?"
I pondered for a few seconds. "Well…how about this: does shooting lasers from headlights sound cool?"
Katie was speechless at my idea. "That sounds F*CKING AWESOME! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!"
Next, we drew the line between Autobot and Decepticon territory, and checked the smoke machines the model making club had put in the buildings; the smoke machines, by the way, were installed to simulate the smoke made by explosions of shots that miss. These were, after all, laser bolts being used.
"So" Katie inquired, "When do hostilities commence?"
That was a good question, indeed. I knew there was a cartoon coming out this fall, and I had no knowledge of what each character sounded like. Personality-wise, it was all in their bios, but what did their voices sound like?
"Let's consider this a lull in activity at the moment" I finally answered, "A few low-level conflicts here and there, but they don't go to Earth until after the first episode of the cartoon airs."
"Well" Katie asked, "When's that?"
"Not sure. Sometime this fall is what Mr. Johnson heard from Hasbro."
And with that, we left the toys in their positions; the Autobots in Iacon, and the Decepticons in their territory, all waiting in a Cold War situation like we were in before World War III. Optimus Prime and Megatron looked stone-faced, as if glaring at each other from afar. The other Autobots and Decepticons were in various positions: Ironhide and Prowl on the border guns akimbo, the Mini Cars ready to deploy, Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp aiming at the Autobots, Soundwave tending to a console, and the other Autobots doing various things.
The rest of the evening was spent figuring out battle formations, as well as putting contingency options into place if more toys were released. We also did a final check-out of the Earth-based locations, and covered them carefully with tarps to protect them from the elements when they weren't in use.
Monday, September 17, 1984
It seemed like just another day. Me and Katie were watching CBS' afternoon cartoon block, and lo and behold, G.I. Joe was on again. We weren't really doing anything that day, or for the past two months, really. The only moves made in our wargame so far were low-key recon operations, along with a bit of excitement when the not-too-bright Skywarp blundered into Iacon airspace. It was the first time we had used the smoke machines in the war.
But fortunately, the Omnibots and Powerdashers had arrived in the mail, and were placed on my nightstand to await the SOS signal from Earth. All three varieties of Powerdashers had come in the mail, as had the three Omnibots (Camshaft, Downshift, and Overdrive). What was cool about the Powerdashers is that they could be used for wartime maneuvers in both robot and alt-mode, and the Omnibots had concealed weapons in vehicle mode.
Then, the end credits for G.I. Joe were shown, and the continuity announcer announced the next show. He didn't say the title, just that it was a new show.
"New show?" I wondered aloud.
"Could it be?" asked Katie in wonderment.
"It could be, Katie. I've waited this long for it to come on."
After commercials, the show came on. What happened next caught us off-guard.
There was a flash, and then the Autobot and Decepticon sigils appeared. Then, Optimus Prime and a couple of Autobots were running on the Autobot sigil.
Me and Katie sat in stony silence as we saw the cartoon finally premiere. The intro sequence was awesome. The Autobots and Decepticons were battling in a generic wasteland. Skywarp threw Jazz, but he just transformed and drove at him. And Soundwave unleashed Laserbeak and Ravage, followed by Megatron turning into a gun. The opening theme did its job of getting me and Katie pumped up, as we cheered in anticipation.
For the next 30 minutes, we were reintroduced to the series, but I must say, it was rather different from what was in the first issue of the comic book series. For one thing, Ravage didn't speak at all, only making animal noises. There were also a few Decepticons I never saw in the comic, such as a trio of small robots who combined to form a camera. I instantly recognized them as the three components of the MC-05 Camera Robo Microx, a toy Suki had sent me. So, without knowing it, I had one more Decepticon in hand! There was also a Decepticon with a single eye named Shockwave, who spoke with a British accent. Where did he come from? I never saw that at Johnson's! Is he cartoon-exclusive? Or is Hasbro already planning to expand the toyline?
In addition, the characters I named Bumper and Hornet were nowhere to be seen (confirming my suspicions that these redecos of Bumblebee and Cliffjumper only existed to make the line look bigger), but there were a few more generic Decepticon jets who were never named (let alone said a single syllable), and some sort of crane that helped Hound out of a ravine. Furthermore, Ratchet and Ironhide had heads, which the toys didn't. Probably a side-effect of originally being human-controlled robots.
None of the humans in the comic appeared. There was a character who vaguely looked like Sparkplug Witwicky (and at this point, I'm guessing it IS Sparkplug), but Buster Witwicky, Jessie, and "O" were MIA. Now, maybe Buster was the guy who was with the alleged Sparkplug's son, or it could be a different character replacing Buster; I don't know.
What I did know, however, was that me and Katie now knew what a majority of the Autobots and Decepticons sounded like. Of all the voices, Soundwave's was the coolest. What's more, I recognized Casey Kasem as Cliffjumper, Don Messick as Ratchet, and Frank Welker as Megatron (he was probably a bunch of other characters, too, given his track record). However, we still didn't know what Huffer, Gears, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Trailbreaker, Bluestreak, and Windcharger sounded like, and Buzzsaw was nowhere to be seen!
So, we decided to give it another two episodes until we knew what each character sounded like, and we had more information.
Still, we headed to the Cybertron set for the daily cleaning. Using a mini-vacuum, me and Katie cleared dust from the structures and streets, and also gave each Autobot and Decepticon a nice dusting. Then, we went outside to clear leaves from the Earth-based sets, and ensure they were insect-free. With our work complete, we headed back inside. Right as the phone rang.
"Hello, Sammonds Residence, Andy Speaking."
"Andy!" cried an excited-sounding voice. It was Belle.
"Yes, I saw it!" I said, in an equally excited-sounding voice. It was as if I knew what the purpose of her call was.
"Wasn't it awesome?!" she asked.
"YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME!"
"Right when it was beginning, I pressed record on the VCR, so if you and Katie need reference material, I've got a tape ready to go."
"Sounds good, Belle. I may need that tape to get some reference on those Decepticon jets at the beginning of the episode. You know, the ones that WEREN'T Starscream, Thundercracker, or Skywarp."
We chatted for a few more minutes about the episode, such as the fact Ironhide and Ratchet looked almost nothing like their toys in robot mode, as well as about Shockwave, the mysterious orange crane, and Reflector.
Then, I hung up, Belle having agreed to come over with the tape while I went down to Johnson's to tend to some business. Katie was breaking out the paints and getting the Camera Robo Microx to affix Decepticon sigils to it and paint over the label that said "MICROX".
When I got back, Belle was there with the tape, and Katie had set the newly-rechristened Reflector out to dry. With me was at least four Skywarp toys, all ready to be repainted to look like the unnamed, non-denominational Decepticon jets who appeared in the opening scenes.
Belle was told by Katie beforehand what I had in mind, so she had already gotten the episode to the point where the unnamed jets were, and paused it.
"Katie, you have the paints?" I asked.
"They're all here and ready" she answered. The paints were all from the hobby shop, all made by Testor and Tamiya. Also here was an airbrush. Pulling the Skywarp toys from their boxes, Katie and Belle worked to put masking tape on the parts where paint wouldn't be applied, such as the cockpit and Decepticon sigils.
After getting the paints ready for use with the airbrush (IE mixing in thinner and water), Katie and Belle opened up all the windows to assist in airing the house out, since I was working with solvent-based paints. Taking the first Skywarp toy, I set to work, meticulously repainting the toy to look like one of the unnamed jets. I kept looking back and forth between the toy and the television set to get the details just right. With the main color scheme (this one was the orange one), I got a paintbrush and added the red trim. My work on this toy complete, I turned to the second toy. Engaging a jar of medium-blue paint to the airbrush, I began spraying as Katie and Belle carefully picked up the freshly-repainted jet and took it to the window sill to dry. The process went on until all four toys had been repainted to match the jets seen on screen.
After a few hours, the paint had dried, and the jets were brought to the Cybertron set and added to the Decepticon army.
"Megatron's probably pleased with these reinforcements" Katie ascertained.
"Probably" I said, "That's eight new soldiers for your army alone today."
"You still have more, though" Katie sighed.
"Well, hopefully Hasbro will release Shockwave soon."
"You're right. They probably will, if he's part of a future lineup."
We decided to treat ourselves for our hard work, so we went to McDonald's for dinner. After dinner, me and Belle kissed each other goodnight and headed to our respective homes.
Arriving back at home, we headed up to the Cybertron set. It was time for a few covert operations.
The following is a visualization of a covert operation carried out by Bumblebee and Hornet.
It was nighttime in Iacon. Smoke hung heavy in the air, as did the smell of burning steel. Deceased Autobots and Decepticons littered the streets, and the victims of many a genocide lie dead amongst the ruins of the once-thriving planet. The skyline had been decimated in the fighting, and if you had been in stasis up until now, you'd be in for a shock. Autobot Commander Optimus Prime was briefing the Autobots on an upcoming covert operation.
"As you all know," he began, "the current energy crisis has reached a head. This war may have calmed down, but that's only because the Decepticons are also starving for energy. There is little, if any, energy left on Cybertron. Now, Huffer is overseeing construction of a spaceship that will take us on an expedition to find a new source of energy. We call it the Ark. Our mission will be to locate the energy, mine it, and bring it home to re-energize Cybertron and make sure none of us starve to death. But until the Ark is complete, we need someone to go out and find any scraps of energy. Bumblebee, Hornet, as our most skilled spies, I'm counting on you two to venture into Decepticon territory to sap some energy from the Decepticons, just enough to keep the lights on for a little while longer."
"We'll get right on it, Prime!" saluted Bumblebee. Hornet, Bumblebee's twin sister, mimicked his salute.
Wheeljack, the resident inventor, walked up to them. "These capacitors are designed to sap energy from any and all electronics. Even Decepticons. Just place it on anything running on any form of energy, press the button, and boom! Instant sappage!"
Bumblebee and Hornet transformed into vehicle mode, and opened their trunks to allow Wheeljack to load the capacitors. Seconds later, they zipped off out of Iacon…
…and into Decepticon territory. No-bot's land.