Loose all morality

by Angelica R

[Alternative Universe of Break the vicious circle] : Darker version of BTVC. "They lost, in a firm and definitive way, and Henry is looking at it almost despite himself, from a far place, with an amused smile on the face. They should have seen it coming, no ?" Summary in the inside of the story. Glaucous story and ends bad. Torture, incest (Neal/Henry), memory loss, violence.

Loose all morality.

[Alternative Universe of Break the vicious circle] : Darker version of BTVC. "They lost, in a firm and definitive way, and Henry is looking at it almost despite himself, from a far place, with an amused smile on the face. They should have seen it coming, no ?" Summary in the inside of the story. Glaucous story and ends bad. Torture, incest (Neal/Henry), memory loss, violence.

Summary: After five years in the psychiatric hospital, drugged and tortured, Henry can leave. As he looses more and more the sense of reality, he meets Neal. This one seems to be strangely interested to him, and not in a good way. Even if he is technically not his father any more after what Fiona did, Henry doesn't really accept it. What he doesn't know, is that the Black Fairy will do everything to make him fall. Neal/Henry.

Pairing: Neal/Henry so there will be incest. Black Fairy's magic changed it so they are not linked by blood, but from Henry's point of view, this is incest. Oh, there is also a little Henry/Fiona in the end, but this is not really incest (because of magic). Lime, but nothing really graphic.

Author's note : Directly follows What we didn't want to see, but the dead one didn't become ghosts, Henry is twenty-five during the story, nothing that happened in BTVC happened. Clearly, this story it's Our Defeat, but sadder and more cynical and more glaucous.

WARNING: This story is not joyous. Really not. I think it's the more glaucous and the most desperate thing I ever wrote (even though I really love this story)

(And if you're still there, well… enjoy your reading).

When Henry was twenty, Fiona decided that she had to stop with all these crazy stories. It was since a too long time that the adolescent staid stubborn, and she couldn't stand it any more. During the six years after the Saviour's death, the fairy succeeded to definitely being the ruler of the town.

She began with the most difficult one, the Dark One. This last one seemed to feel kind of a regret after what happened, despite the presence of his wife and his son. He wasn't happy about this story, it was evident. Fiona knew that she wouldn't make him accept to be on her side, in a complete way.

(And yes, she tried.)

But she had something he hadn't.

Magic.

Not only that she was more powerful than him, but she blocked his powers, so she was now the person who had the greatest magic of Storybrooke (and the only one who had it, probably.)

Succeed to learn to control her new powers wasn't easy and, and as she brought back Neal to life, and kind of rewrote the story one first time, she was kind of unable to use her powers.

The universal rule of "all magic comes with a price" was still in service apparently. And she was upset about that ; she still could use magic, but not to do some things. It's the reason why she couldn't get rid out of her son before six years.

It was in the end not that hard, as the reason why her son remembered was because he was the Dark One, and had magic. So she just had to rewrite the story (she adored it, make things different, do it again and again), where he had no powers.

As it was done, Gold remembered nothing, and Henry was now definitely alone. And he knew it, as Fiona made him see it, obviously, she couldn't not do it. He saw Gold, from a far place, and his face was too happy so it couldn't be a coincidence. Especially that Henry could feel things, when the story of the curse changed.

He didn't fall, not yet, but he didn't fight any more, it didn't matter. Some disillusion took him since he understood that Gold wasn't on his side now, and he was less and less drawing.

Oh, how it seemed to be far, the time where he was always drawing the inhabitants of Storybrooke and the people of his family, and he finally gave up it. He almost stayed by himself in this situation, his hope and his belief were dead, there were just pain and despair.

It had been since six years that he was locked, six years that they tried to convince him that magic didn't exist. He would have preferred to believe it, it would have been easy, so much more easy.

But Henry Mills never liked easy things.

Maybe that it was the reason why the Black Fairy needed so much time to defeat him.

Because yes, of course, she finally defeated him and made him give up.

This is how it happened.

§§§§

One time, just one time, Henry tried to believe that everything wasn't lost, that Gold was playing a game. That it was fake. This last hope was the one that helped him not to sink, in a way. But little, so little, that the fact is that, when it would disappear, everything would be destroyed, and Henry would fall.

Maybe that he already did, maybe that it was his last chance.

After that, he would know.

He would know that he lost.

Which was the case.

He could leave sometimes the hospital, allowed by Fiona, who could control him by magic, so, she wasn't afraid. And she wanted this to happen, that he saw Gold, and loose hope and faith.

Then he went to Gold's shop, trying to make the Dark One be there again. To make him remember, admit the truth. It didn't work, absolutely not. Henry felt atrociously bad, but what happened then made him feel worst.

He saw Neal, not Neal Nolan, but Neal Cassidy, his father, who was dead. He stayed frozen then, and frowned his eyebrows. It was him, without really be him, his father seemed to be younger than in his memories, and seemed to be just seven or eight years older than him.

It was coming from the Black Fairy, he had no doubts about it.

It plunged him even more in despair, because if his grand-father, one of the most powerful sorcerer in the world, forgot, how could his father remember ? He wanted to shout, scream, do something and have his father's attention who didn't see him, he just wanted to ask him to save him as he did in Neverland.

He shut up, kept his cry blocked in his throat, but clenched his fists and bite his lip until it bled, with an empty look also full of horror. He stayed there, fascinated, without being able to move, and for a second, just a second, he forgot why it hurt so much.

For an instant, he forgot that the man who was there was his father, because it didn't make sense, this man was just seven years older than him, so how… No, no, no. it was true. Neal Cassidy was his father, magic was real, and the Black Fairy cast a curse.

But the fact is that, for a moment, he wanted to give up all of this, stop believing, and just throw himself in his father's arms. Just this, not being alone and desperate, and maybe, maybe that Neal would allow to him not to feel so bad.

Except that he couldn't. He would continue to believe, because it was who he was, the Trust believer, and even if they wouldn't win, it didn't matter.

As far as he believed and didn't give up, Fiona wouldn't have won.

Something changed in his spirit, and broke when he came back to the asylum. He suffered being so close to his dad, and not being able to see him, to talk to him, nor have a true relationship with him, as he didn't remember.

He missed him, so, so much, as the rest of his family, and he couldn't help but think that his great-grand-mother just made him come back in order to make him suffer.

And it worked.

By the way, he never so much wanted to die than at this moment.

§§§§

Fiona was quite happy, she did something she worked on since a long time. Separate genetically Neal and Gold from Henry. As herself, of course. She knew that Henry may try to prove some of the things he said by a DNA test, to show who his family was.

Especially that now he knew his father was alive. She waited for him to discover it, and then began her work, which hadn't been that long. Less than make Gold forget. She had to wait a time, and it worked too.

Fiona looked at the situation through a mirror, and when Henry was invaded by doubts, as he saw his father, she took advantage of it.

Her main problem with Henry wasn't his belief itself, she could have easily break it. But who he was… He was the Trust Believer, and didn't belong to the fairy tales world, and he was the Author.

He was the only one who could have break this curse, if he found a way. She couldn't kill him, or the curse would stop, and she would loose her powers. Of course, her plan wasn't perfect, she knew it. Henry still ignored it, luckily, as Gold, but she knew it from the beginning, it was why she didn't kill him.

She had to make him give up, convince him, and, as she looked at him looking at Neal, she had an idea. An atrocious, ignoble, and incredibly perverse idea.

Use Neal to make Henry fall. This last one so much wanted to gain his father's love (even if he wasn't his father physiologically speaking), desperate not to have a family any more, that he would be ready to do anything. Even the worst.

Especially the worst.

A pleased smile came on the fairy's lips as she thought about what she could make them do together; that would be horrible and terrible.

And she would adore it.

She preferred to let this stay in a part of her mind, for later.

After.

When Henry would be broken into pieces, desperate, and ready to do everything.

There, just there, Neal would be there for him, to help him fix it, and rearrange all the pieces in a totally different way from what they used to be.

And when he would loose all hope, she would be there, to propose him a deal.

And she would win.

§§§§

Everything was now turning in Henry's mind. He was loosing himself right now, between memories and dream, reality and illusion, truth and lies. His return had been seen by no one, in fact, he seemed to be himself invisible. Looking around him, he understood how much he was alone, abandoned, and unhappy.

Abandon, abandon himself, stop fighting. It was what she wanted, her, the Black Fairy, this demon who destroyed their life to all of them. This is just there that he began to fall, after he resisted during six years, and stayed sane for so much time.

Oh, accept it, forget, forget everything, not believe in magic any more ! Forget his dead family, his mother lying on the ground, his grand-parents, and his adoptive mother, his real mother, but also Zelena, Killian, and the other. Oh, forget all these worlds destroyed in pieces because he couldn't make Emma believe, forget his culpability !

Not believe, and find a refuge in the only family he still had, be happy, finally !

Be a coward, stop refusing this situation, accept to give up, live a happy life despite the curse !

Why not ?

He still refused this, but it didn't change the fact that he was sinking. It was worst when he saw Archie, there, so they would talk. Henry was trembling, and suddenly, it became too much for him. At this precise instant, everything in him disappeared, and before his spirit lost himself, he couldn't help but think, ironic, that, in the end, they did it.

They made him become crazy.

He tried not to be destroyed, and he did it longer than his mother, but some day, you just have to fall, right ?

Slowly, the Author looks at all this mess, and he smiles. This is just a joke. This is just a great joke, and he decides that, as they don't want him to be happy, right.

He won't.

But he will destroy everything.

He will fight against this world which refuses to listen to him, and he will break it, put it into pieces.

And if he has to die, right.

He is just waiting for it.

Ironic and cynical, he was it since a time, since almost the beginning, in fact. When Gold came to see him, one time, before he forgot, he had been hit by how Henry was ironic about everything.

And it scared him. Had he remembered the truth, and seen his former grand-son, maybe that he would have understood that the young man had no hope any more. All of it would have terrified him.

An ironic smile appeared on Henry's face and stayed that way, as he was asking to himself if Archie knew that all of it was pointless. He said nothing, just smiling, again and again. He didn't want just to make Archie see the truth, or scream to him that he was wrong, no.

He wanted to hit him. As never before, but the fact is that all this day helped to make weaker Henry's spirit which was already fragile. So, for the first time since six years, he gave up.

He hit.

Again and again, and he was stronger than Archie, and he hurt him, and hurt him, again and again. Without stopping, he took a dagger from his pocket, stolen in Gold's shop, and which used to belong to David. Maybe that this last one wouldn't have approved it, but he was dead, so he didn't care about what he could have thought.

Archie was screaming, of course, facing the savagery of his patient, and because of the pain and the incomprehension too. Seeing the young man's look, he understood that this one was crazy. Definitely.

The dagger plunged immediately in his heart, and Henry felt nothing. No disgust, no joy, just a great emptiness. He wanted to show it, show them that all of it was wrong, that nothing would happen, that…

He didn't really know what he was saying, everything he saw, it was the empty and dead look of Archie. And blood, so, so much blood, on his hands, on his face.

Everywhere.

They finally took him, of course, and by seeing Fiona, who was there, he smiled to her. A smile to which she replied.

Despite the horror of what he just did, Henry felt satisfied.

He changed something.

§§§§

It didn't last.

Just the day after that, Archie was there, alive again, and Henry couldn't say if he was happy or not. But it didn't just end that easy for the young man.

"Hello Fiona."

Fiona was there, as he was in the same room as before. Henry smiled even more, almost ready to laugh of it. His spirit was more and more bad, a thing Fiona saw goodly. She felt almost pity for him.

Henry felt things changing, she changed again the story. He almost asked her to do it for him, but he still wasn't that desperate.

"Hello Henry."

She was looking at him carefully, smiling too. He really changed in six years, physically, and psychologically ; he was an adult now, a beautiful young man that looked a little like his father (who wasn't his, well…)

Fiona felt that he would soon give up, not now, it's true, but she was close to it. In less than ten years, he would have, she knew it.

It could seem to be long, but don't forget that she waited 300 years before casting her curse. Ten years meant nothing to her.

The young man's resistance was extraordinary, and she could just admire it.

Break him would just more wonderful.

"What do you want ?

- Can't I just talk with my son ?

- You're not my mom !"

Fiona smiled. It was still something he didn't accept. Too bad…

"That would be more simple Henry… accept that you're wrong.

- I know… it doesn't change the fact that it would be a lie.

- That would make you become happy.

Henry's crazy smile became a grimace.

- I will never be happy… My family died, and I'm becoming crazy. And I won't give up.

- We will see that.

- My dad is alive, I will make him know who I am, and…

Then Fiona burst into laughter.

- It won't happen, and you know why ? Because he is not your father !

- It's false !

- Of course it is ! Or, at least, he isn't any more !

- What have you done ?

- Nothing. I just changed the story.

Henry turned his head.

- It changes nothing. We may be not linked any more, but it changes nothing. He is my father, he always will be my father.

- We will see that… I think you will change your mind, with time.

- I doubt about it."

Fiona' look became brilliant.

"I bet you will, she whispered.

- What now ? What will happen to me ? Will things change ?

A false surprise appeared on Fiona' face.

- Why would they change ?

- I killed Archie, said Henry, even though he knew it wasn't true any more.

Fiona gave him a look falsely full of sympathy.

- My poor Henry, the fairy whispered, you're really becoming crazy. I think we should lock you.

This time, Henry laughed.

- Isn't it already the case ?

- In another place. With other methods. Don't worry, it will help you to get better."

The last sane light that Henry had still in him made him open his eyes with horror.

There was something in his great-grand-mother's tone that didn't please him.

§§§§

He had been right. The five following years were a real hell. If he thought he suffered during these last six years, he had been wrong. He was transferred in another place of the psychiatric hospital, harder and more violent than in the one where he was.

The worst of it is that he was really becoming crazy. He couldn't know what was real or not, his spirit which was falling sent him visions that he knew were false. He was more and more delirious, because of the medicine.

They drugged him, this time, and it didn't help to cure him, and just made him more fall into madness. He was seeing things, manly his family.

The doctors were terrible people, paid by Fiona in order to hurt him, she was controlling everyone in town, except Henry. He was the only one who still resisted, even, and especially in his madness.

It was what allowed him to fight, he preferred this than lie. He suffered, because of the pills, and the pain of the torture.

They tortured him, of course, as the Black Fairy wanted him to be broken, falling on the ground, and never stand up again. The fairy's magic cured him then, but he didn't forget the pain, the blood, and the sadism.

He was shouting during hours, without being helped, calling for help, but in vain. He wasn't calling for his family, not the one who died. Not Gold, Gideon, or Belle, but his father, who wasn't his father, and it was more and more difficult to believe it, as his belief more and more became weak, and that the fairy's magic acted on him.

His dreams were nightmares, except when his father was there, and saved him from dangers, at that moments, he suffered less. Not forget that his father was alive and could save him from this horror helped him to stay strong.

Five years is a long time, and he became more and more indifferent, ironic and cynical. Suffering permanently, his spirit was breaking little by little, and he could do nothing about it.

He was sinking.

And he just wanted one thing, a hand he could take and which would help him not to fall.

Someone, anyone.

In this state of horror, madness, and ironic anger, he was finally freed from the asylum.

§§§§

"I won't do it !

- Neal, the mayor is asking for it !

- I don't care! She will find someone else ! I don't want to talk with her half-mad son !

- He isn't just half-mad, according to the rumours, said Belle.

Neal rolled his eyes.

- Half or not, it doesn't matter. I won't talk to him.

- The mayor told me that he would be soon freed. She wants you to help him reintegrate, be accepted by the other.

- Why me ?"

The Neal version curse had nothing to do with the man Henry knew. He was a kid of twenty-seven years who didn't get age since six years, less adult than Henry's father was. By bringing him back, Fiona made him become younger, and made him forget his life in the Enchanted Forest, as magic.

Henry wouldn't have recognized him by seeing him, not with this behaviour.

"Because she asked it ! And as Henry is more or less of your age, you could become friends.

- I have difficulties to believe it… muttered the young man.

- Please, do an effort.

Neal shrugged.

- Alright, he said, I will try."

It won't work…

Oh, how wrong he was !

(And right in a way.)

Henry was trembling. He didn't understand why they let him go, his ideas were mixing, and he was doing absurd hypothesis. Why did Fiona want ? Why would she leave him outside ?

The answer was simple.

He wasn't a danger for her.

Being in Granny's, in a room, he looked at himself in the mirror. He felt old, whereas he was just twenty-five, but was exhausted. In a gesture of anger, he made disappear the beard that were on his cheeks, not really paying attention to what he was doing, and cut himself

Seeing the blood, he had no reaction, until the wound disappear, and he became pale. The Black Fairy's magic was protecting him.

He wouldn't die, even though he tried to kill himself.

He couldn't die.

He couldn't die any more.

Bloody hell.

He really was in Hell right now.

§§§§

As he had now a human figure, he decided to go out, and he walked in the direction of the Rabbit Hole. Yeah, it wasn't really a good idea, but it didn't matter. He had again an ironic smile by seeing that no one looked at him in a strange way, so Fiona erased the memory of almost everyone.

He could have tried to do something, protest, but he stopped fighting.

Now, it's done, the Black has no obstacles any more against her, her curse is here, and no one knows it, and Henry is almost ready to laugh because of it now. No one did before, Regina, Pan, or Zelena.

She is the first villain who won.

They lost, in a firm and definitive way, and Henry is looking at it almost despite himself, from a far place, with an amused smile on the face. They should have seen it coming, no ?

His spirit was still lost because of the drugs of the asylum, but never seemed to be so clear. He almost felt good, almost in peace, and almost sane. But it wasn't the case, and he knew it.

It was amusing for him.

He felt more and more his great-grand-mother's magic going in him, little by little, as his belief was dying.

And he let this happen, tired as he was to fight. His moral sense was transforming too, not being the same as before.

The little kid who used to believe in magic was now entirely dead.

There was just a cynical and bitter adult, a little crazy too.

(Now he understood August's attitude. How can you continue believing and fighting without any proof ?)

He commanded a bier, because, obviously, mix alcohol and drugs is really a reasonable thing to do ! He wasn't immortal either, but he didn't really feel time pass on him, Fiona' magic was always in the air, and he felt it which was invading him.

Which was protecting him, well, if this damn fairy really wanted to do it.

"Hey, hello, he heard on his left."

Distractedly, he turned his head, and froze. Neal was there, smiling. He needed some minutes to remember that he was his father. Who was the same age as he was.

Literally, with just a difference of two years.

«Hello.

- You're the mayor's son, aren't you ? »

NO, NO, NO, NO !

- Yes, he whispered.

The lie almost didn't hurt him.

- You just left the psychiatric hospital, no ? T

Henry had a smile, and, without knowing why, Neal also wanted to smile. It pleased him that this kid (in a way), seemed to be less stressed. He didn't see what there was of terribly ironic and painful in his son's smile.

He felt in a visceral way a profound desire to protect him, and, even though he didn't know that he used to be his son, something was attracting him in his direction. He felt profoundly good now, and internally thanked the mayor for asking him to do it.

This young unknown man was beautiful, and seemed to be broken, and Neal felt kind of an interest for him, a blurred and strange desire. He resisted to the temptation of putting his hand in his hair.

- Yes, that's true, said Henry in a tired voice, I am the madman.

- You're strange, that's all.

Henry's laugh resonated in the bar, less sad, and almost joyful. A bitter joy, yes, but better than nothing. Neal felt a great heat and a good feeling invading him as he heard him. Yes, he knew it, he wanted to take care of him.

He thought what he was saying. Henry wasn't crazy, just different from the other.

"I think that it's a euphemism, said Henry, with the same ironic voice."

It was good to be there, talking with Neal. It had been since a long time that he didn't talk with someone, in a normal way, without being tortured. He shivered.

"It hadn't been easy, right ?" Said Neal, seeming to really be interested by him.

And he missed it ! He missed his father, and even though he couldn't rebuild a filial relationship with him, right. They could be friends, that would be enough.

"I am Neal, the other finally said, M. Gold's son. The mayor sent me there, she wanted us to talk, that we became friends. I didn't really want to do it before, but I am happy I did.

- Oh, said Henry, a little disappointed, so you didn't come because you wanted it ?

- Yes and no. I changed my mind.

- When ?

- By hearing you talk."

Neal was cursed. It didn't only mean that he lost his memory, but also that his personality had been altered, that he wasn't himself, not the one he was normally. And Henry knew it, his father was younger, less bitter ad more joyful too.

He was looking at him in an insistent way, and Henry almost felt disturbed ; except that he so much wanted to have someone's attention that he didn't care. It was one of the reasons why he killed Archie, so they would remark him. To shout his distress, and his loneliness, and his fear of definitely falling.

A total failure, of course.

They talked for a time, Henry succeeding to be himself again, a little, feeling better, in peace. Almost happy. Alcohol helped too, in a bad way, and after hours, they were as two old friends.

It was strange for Henry, but at that time, he didn't see Neal as his father, he was loosing everything, he was lost, and Neal was the only one who could help him. So he stayed there, of course.

Ignoring his adoptive mother's plans, who was looking at them, and decided to interfere.

Magic was her best friend, that's true.

Neal didn't understand what was happening to him, at least not now, but the fact is that he felt his body coming closer to Henry's.

All of it seemed really obscure to Henry, who finally was himself again, understanding more or less what was happening. They were close. Too close. His father (no, he wasn't his father. Or yes, of course yes) acted strangely, with a strange light in the look.

He wasn't himself, not completely, and it scared the young man. He would analyse this later, but he decided to flee, even if his body said no.

Yes, frustration hit also crazy people.

§§§§

As he was in his room, he could calm himself. With a more clear spirit, he could put words on what happened.

His father kind of dated him.

Not in a normal or subtle way, but yes, he kind of dated him. Not knowing who he was, and Henry himself didn't.

There was worst. His body replied. If his spirit and his memory remembered who Neal was, his body forgot it.

And this body, this traitor, had been really receptive to Neal advances.

Bloody hell.

He heard then a laugh, and, taken by a doubt, he looked at the mirror. He saw his adoptive mother, laughing, happy. He sent her death stare.

"You did this, right ?

- Yes. It was funny, right ?

- Why ?

- To please you darling ! So you would be happy !

- You're kidding me !

- No. I am interested by your happiness, and I think that you can feel good with Gold's son.

- He is my father, damn !

- Not any more. I assure you, you would be good together...

Henry had an air of disgust on the face.

- I won't sleep with my father. My name is not Oedipus, ok !

- Oedipus was supposed to sleep with his mother, if I am not wrong… Well, if you're interested by it, she said with a special look."

Henry looked at her with surprise. Were they all crazy in this family ?

Neal was walking in the streets, less drunk than before.

He wasn't blind, and saw that his try… had been nor subtle or good. Not being conscious that his thoughts weren't coming from his spirit but from someone else, he felt depressed.

Ready to give up, maybe as he was lucid, he didn't see a shadow approaching him, in silence.

It was Fiona.

«Hello Neal. Is everything okay ? »

The young man turned in her direction, and gave her a sad smile. He realized he liked the mayor, in the end. She did a complex job, trying to act in a good way with her son, which was not simple. Really, he kind of appreciated her, helped for this by the fairy's spells. It was changing his perceptions. And he would be more receptive to her suggestions.

"Hello madam Mayor. More or less, yes.

- It has to do with my son, right ?"

He looked at her with surprise.

"Yes, that's true… but… how…

- Because of the look on your face. The fact that you must meet him this evening. Where was he ?

- At the Rabbit Hole. »

He thought she would blame her son for this, but her look was full of emotion, and a certain joy, he thought.

"That's good, she whispered, he already begins to go out.

- Your son is someone pleasant, I almost had the impression I always knew him. As if we were… connected."

He saw her freeze, but just for a moment, and he thought he dreamt, especially by seeing how brilliant her smile was.

"I am happy of it… I am happy you became so quickly friend with Henry. He isn't an easy kid, she said with a kind of regret."

And a form of culpability, recognized Neal. He smiled.

"Don't worry, he reassured her. I will help him to get better. I am sure I can do it."

And he believed it, with all his forces. Not only for Fiona, Henry, but also for himself. And he wanted it, for sure.

Fiona' smile was satisfied, maybe too much.

« I never had doubts about it, she said with a soft voice."

Neal didn't feel that he was just falling in her trap.

§§§§

"But I guess everything didn't end good, if I am not wrong."

Fiona' solicitude surprised him, and without knowing why, Neal felt some sort of confident in him.

"True, he said, a little disturbed to talk about this with the mayor. I… well did some advances to him, and it wasn't subtle. I should probably give up, he said with a false happy smile.

- No ! »

Neal started because of the violence of the answer, and he frowned.

What the…

The mayor then calmed herself.

"I mean… you don't have to. That could be good, for Henry, to talk with other people, and build a relationship. With someone else than me. I know you don't know him, but…

- It's okay. I can… I can try, he said."

Fiona put a hand on his shoulder.

"That would be good, yes, she said to the one who was before it her grand-son."

And she let him alone, making appear something in him, a fire, a desire, a need, something he didn't understand. Something she wanted him to explore.

This time, the fairy let her wicked and vicious smile settle on her face.

Feeling in a good mood, she walked in the direction of Blue's cellar, for the thing they did every day.

Oh, how she would have fun !

If this night, Neal and the fairy goodly slept, it wasn't the case for Henry.

Or, that's the contrary, he slept too well.

And that was a problem. Coming from Neal's tries or Fiona' evocations, something woke up in him.

His dreams were full of it, and when he woke up, he felt bad.

And he swore almost despite himself to stay away from his father. What he didn't want to do, but he refused to go trough the red line. He could have, all Fiona' changing allowed him to.

But no. Simply not.

He couldn't. He couldn't do this. His spirit refused it, trying to fight, without success, against his desire to be closer to his father. By all the ways.

He made a moan of despair and frustration.

How would he get out of it without suffering exactly ?

§§§§

He continued taking his medicines. First because he was a bloody drugged person, but also because he had to, it was in the contract. He would stay outside if he accepted to do it, or he would come back. And he refused to do it.

It didn't help him, really not, and he knew it.

Again, he saw himself sinking, without being able to do anything, laughing.

In the following weeks, he more and more saw his father, not succeeding to resist and not being able to stay away. They didn't talk about what happened, it was too awkward, and for a time, Henry thought that things could end well.

But he was forgetting how much the Black Fairy wanted to make him accept his fate, and he didn't remember how much he himself wanted to fall.

Neal wasn't his father, not any more, but it didn't stop Henry from caring for him, from wanting to be close to him, from loving him. But this love had nothing to do with what could have been before. And it terrified him, because he didn't recognize himself.

He was loosing himself more and more in his own desires. Not knowing what to do, ready to give up himself, wanting to give up himself to it, trying not to loose the little morality he still had.

Everything fell a first time some weeks after they first met.

It was during an evening, in the Rabbit Hole, again, of course. Henry was there, with Neal and the mix alcohol-drug made him see things differently. His spirit was blurred, a thing he was doing on purpose. He gave up, at least for this evening, all his morality, all his belief.

He felt good, incredibly good, asking even to himself why he ever felt bad. He wasn't alone, even though he was crazy, that's true.

So what ?

Henry saw that he wasn't coherent, he burst into laughter every second, never stop smiling, and felt himself burning. Alcohol, maybe. Or Neal's look, probably.

All of this was going too far, he was feeling it, but he didn't care. They were dancing together, in an absurd way, but he didn't care about it either.

He didn't care about anything.

Except his father.

Who wasn't.

Who used too.

But not for now...

Well…

Fiona just had to go fuck herself !

As the curse, the magic, and these stupid fairy tales too.

For the first time, in Neal's arms, Henry stopped believing in fairy tales.

He never felt so good as at this instant, and for the first time since eleven years.

So, when Neal pulled for the first time his lips on his own, Henry had no reaction.

It happened later.

§§§§

Ok. All of this bizarre. More than that, it was… troubling.

But not uncomfortable.

His brain finally woke up after a moment, with a lot of difficulties.

Maybe because he would have wanted not to wake up. Not remember.

Not know that the man that he was now kissing used to be his father.

(Yeah, he used the past, he couldn't deny that it wasn't real now.)

He was frozen, not knowing how to behave, but the feeling was so soft and pleasant, and damn, he needed it so much that he asked no question to himself any more.

He replied to the kiss, obviously.

He could do nothing else.

He didn't want to do something else.

So he just stayed against his father, and again replied to this kiss

His spirit just disconnected.

I don't care any more.

What happened then brought them beyond many things.

The awakening was then very painful.

For Henry himself, in fact. When he found himself being in the same bed as a young man of his age, he felt really confuse. A little disturbed, but manly satisfied. Naked, also, but is it necessary to precise it ?

And he just woke up then. With no secondary effect of what he took (thank you, magic !), shocked and distraught.

He slept with his father.

Damn, and damn, and damn again, he slept with his father.

Who wasn't any more.

The worst ?

Not only that he adored it.

He wanted more.

Oh, bloody hell.

(Yes, Henry could be sometimes melodramatic too.)

He looked at the young man next to him and blushed. He forgot nothing, of course, it would have been too easy. Taken by remorse, culpability and other pretty unpleasant things, he felt an arm around his waist, and he tensed.

Neal was still sleeping, and he huddled to him, the smile on his lips.

Oh, bloody hell.

His father was really too adorable.

He is not your father any more.

He was beginning to really like the idea.

And he told himself that for a time, just for some hours, he could indulge in it, and find a refuge in his arms.

Just a moment, right ?

As it was over, he put a soft kiss on Neal's forehead, and, a little nauseous, he left.

He shouldn't have done that, even if it had been great, it was wrong, and it would help the Black Fairy to win.

And regarding at how she made him suffer, he refused it.

He was the last resistance of this town, alone against everyone, and he would not please her by giving up.

No, he wouldn't, he wouldn't return in his father's arms, it would not happen again.

Henry didn't know what his adoptive mother wanted, but he would do everything so she wouldn't have it.

Never.

Even if his body and his spirit burned to come back in Neal's arms.

§§§§

"It's no Neal.

-Why ?

- I have my reasons, right ?"

The other young man sighed, with a sad air on the face. Henry tensed. He hated magic now. It was doing it, he knew it, and fight against it would be useless. It blurred everything, changed everything, his marks, his morality, what he wanted.

He was resisting, almost in vain.

Especially that he didn't want it, and Neal didn't help him.

The two young people were now in Gold's shop, where, by chance, was all the family at that moment in order to see Gold.

(This chance had for name Fiona according to Henry.)

Neal rolled his eyes. He wanted to begin a relationship with Henry, build something, he needed it without knowing why. He couldn't fight against it, he didn't want to.

He didn't understand the young man's refusal, he had no reason to do it, it wasn't as if he wasn't interested by him ! According to Fiona, and even Neal himself, he was.

Seeing the other one wouldn't accept, and seeing that his step-mother was there, he said in a high voice :

"You will stay with us for diner this evening, right ?"

Belle nodded her head at this proposition, smiling, agreeing to it. Henry hesitated, and felt his conviction become weaker, not seeing Neal's smile.

This last one knew that facing Neal's family, it would be difficult for him to be objective, and say no. Yes, it was duplicitous, but for the good cause.

Henry sighed.

"Alright."

Neal's smile was too bright, and it almost hurt him.

What was he doing ?

The answer was simple.

He was loosing himself.

But after so much suffering, couldn't he ?

§§§§

The diner was really pleasant, but also strange, as Henry's life in general, and if he enjoyed it, he stayed tensed.

Especially by noticing something. Belle's attitude, surprising, and he needed time to understand it.

And he almost sighed with despair and sadness.

She approved. She approved this damn relationship.

She approved the fact that Henry could date his father.

He is not my father.

She accepted it, and it made more difficult the choice Henry had to do.

So yes, don't blame Henry if the idea that it could happen reasonably settled in his spirit.

In the following weeks, Fiona harassed Henry, pushing him more and more to fall, again. The arguments she gave him were quite good, and he more and more wanted to accept it.

The fact that he already loved Neal, that the fighting was useless, that it was not bad or macabre, because it was not his father any more he wanted in his bed. That he just had to accept to forget it, to give up, not to know anything.

And he wanted this, so, so much !

His father didn't help, running every time after him and Henry couldn't live without it, all of it blurred again in his head, and he couldn't see it as macabre.

And even though it was, he didn't care !

More and more cynical, he then talked about tales (no one now in town remembered his former madness), one in particular.

Donkeyskin

I am sure you didn't see it coming…

« What is happening in this tale ? »

Facing Neal's question, Henry had a cynical smile.

« A princess flees her father and her palace because he wants to marry her. You see what kind of story it is..."

Neal grimaced.

« Yes, I do. »

Henry smiled again.

This is what you and me we are living.

And you know what ?

I don't care…

§§§§

He gave up. He missed Neal too much, his body was crying with despair, his desire was there, more and more great, and impossible to control.

He didn't know if it really was coming from him, or Fiona, his spirit, even though not being drugged, was loosing itself more and more (unless he already lost himself since a long time) and wanted to loose itself.

It was since a long time that he wasn't fighting any more, except by reflex and pride, against his adoptive mother. He decided to forget his disappeared family, the dead worlds, the existence of magic.

And this time, he gave in to it. Throwing himself in Neal's arms, sighing with relief by feeling his body against his, stopping to fight, finally, and for a time he savoured what he was living.

During the night, letting himself be taken by pleasure, after he was hit by pain during years, he voluntary decided to forget.

He is not my father any more.

The most the back and forth were getting faster, the most he was loosing himself.

He is not my father any more.

He felt good, so good, even euphoric, not screaming with pain any more, feeling finally safe, loved, which was not the case since years.

Henry put his hands along Neal's body, losing himself too, with pleasure.

And he made his choice.

He is not my father any more.

He screamed.

Fiona had a great smile.

Victory was near to her.

During the following weeks, Henry and Neal began a romantic relation and everyone could see it, as Fiona did, happy of that. Neal, without knowing it was making his son fall on the other side, and he was feeling that his spirit was more and more sane, manipulated by Fiona' magic.

And he accepted it. Even if his nature rebelled against it, even if he still wanted to fight, he didn't do it any more, didn't want. Eleven years. Eleven years that he fought, anybody else would have give up since a long time. He was doing it now.

So yes, he plunged himself in this relationship, without forgetting the family he earned in it.

He was happy, even if a part of him was still rebelling. He was ready to stop fighting.

This day, Fiona came to see him. He was in the bed, still naked as Neal was gone. Fiona looked at him in a strange way, a little as Neal. Her former great-grand-son interested her a lot too, and she thought that her grand-son was lucky.

Henry had a tired air.

"What do you want Fiona ? He asked, not caring about her looking at him.

With time, he stopped fighting against the desires of the other.

- Talk with you. Ask you if yes or no you were happy of your life.

He sent her death stares. She really goodly had beautiful clothes, with an outfit with both the fairies' and Regina's style.

Who ?

- No. My spirit is still bad, and I remember everything. I won't give up."

It wasn't as before. As when Emma was alive, or even before. Henry was talking for nothing, and they both knew it.

Fiona had a predatory and vicious smile. She came closer to him, slowly, without being fast. She put her hand on his cheek.

« Tell-me, Henry, she said in a whisper, what do you want ?

Suddenly, Henry burst into tears. He couldn't stand it, didn't want to fight.

- I want to forget, he confessed finally, I just want to forget."

He would have wanted to fight his adoptive mother again, with strength and courage, but be honest, he hadn't have enough forces to do it.

His mother took him in her arms, softly rocking him, hiding her victorious smile.

She was close, so close…

"Be quiet… she whispered, everything will be okay, right ? You don't have to fight any more, just give it in your dear mommy."

Henry didn't push her. Her voice was soft, and he wanted to continue listening to her. She was caressing his hair, more and more exploring his body (still naked), without him saying anything against that.

He had a sight of relief. Finally ! Finally he would forget, would never suffer.

Everything would be fine now.

Neal and Fiona would take care of him, and make all these stories disappear.

And he wouldn't want to fight any more.

Fiona smiled by seeing him give up completely.

"What if we sealed our pact ? She whispered, kind of copying Cora, before kissing Henry with no warning."

This last one replied to the kiss, forgetting the former and legitimately incestuous aspect of it, forgetting the fact that she was older than him (not that much, not physically at least, not getting older since centuries); forgetting her monstrosity.

Forgetting everything, except his pleasure, forgetting he shouldn't be doing it, forgetting his duty toward his family.

Loosing all morality.

He brought her to the bed, and she let him do it, and, as they were loosing themselves in each other, he lost himself.

(Sleeping by the way with his mother, in a certain point of view.)

As she was finally enough satisfied, she left, letting him alone, deciding to let Neal be there, and, as he was here, there, the young man finally lost himself, definitely.

The two young men slept together, with no shame on Henry's side, invaded by pleasure, forgot little by little what he should have remembered.

"Neal… he finally moaned, lost."

Yes, Neal. Just him, and no one else.

Not his father.

Fairy tales are just stories.

And one last time, just one last time, he thought about it, and smiled.

He moaned again, just interested by this version of the story, not wanting to change it, by the way, what could have been different ?

A new time, he screamed.

Fairy tales are just stories.