It was two days after the bombing when he came back. The overly loyal creature with matted black hair came back after they thought that he left for good. Maybe he only came to gather his bearings, or to just check up on them. Maybe he only came here because it was the only safe place he knew, but maybe he came because he honestly cared about them. Even though he lost a lot of his money when he tried to play the Joker Game again. Maybe that was why Sakuma was not with them right now, even though he decided to continue working at the agency, and when right now they were going to name their new cat. Or it was because they all just knew that he wouldn't accept anything other than "Kuro". Who wouldn't sit still for a good look, so they (Fukumoto, really) decided to distract him with fish. They were in the cafeteria.
"Why can't we just name him Yoru?" asked Hatano, who was acting just like they thought Sakuma would with his overly plain name ideas.
"Yoru is too plain, it has to be something special" said Miyoshi, sitting in a chair while reading his book. "After all, it's not like we just accepted a regular cat who can't keep up. He attacked those fools who tried to bomb us with nothing but his claws."
"He's our cat now, so I think that we should be gentle with him" said Fukumoto, evidently afraid that the young cat would be forced to deal with angry bombers on a regular basis. Or go through a cat version of their spy training. Both were possible threats to cat-kind.
"But what does that have to do with naming him?" asked Kaminaga.
"Maybe he's afraid of the Demon King using him as a familiar" suggested Hatano. "Or us giving him a name that will make Tazaki's pigeons attack him."
"'He who murders pigeons' probably won't make him a popular choice amongst them" agreed Jitsui. "Though if it's in German, they probably won't understand."
"Let's not give anyone ideas" said Fukumoto.
"That also includes the cat" mentioned Tazaki.
"Look, as long as we feed him, I don't think that he'll go after them."
"But what if he's trapped on the roof?"
"Then we make sure that he can't go there" said Kaminaga. "It's as simple as that."
"It would be easier if we had a cat bed and a cat door so he can leave whenever he wants". Odagiri, apparently decided that breaking his unofficial vow of silence was okay as long as it benefited the cat. He was the one who carried him outside out concern for whatever the Demon King could do, after all.
"But then he's little better but a stray. Didn't we say we would name him?" said Jitsui.
"Yeah. Now that I think of it, it should be something special, or at least interesting" said Miyoshi, looking positively uninterested behind his book.
"Like what?"
"Maybe something that's based off of something that's uniquely him" suggested Tazaki. "That's how I name my pigeons."
"Come on, how can that many birds look different?" asked Hatano.
"It's not just looks; some of them have different behaviors. Hatohato, for example, loves sitting on my head like a little pigeon hat.
"I thought you named him that because you were out of names for your pigeons" said Kaminaga.
"And got lazy after a point" added Hatano.
"But isn't 'HatoHato' cuter than 'Hatoboshi'"? asked Tazaki, evidently not pleased that no one thought his pet names were good.
"It is, but it's too redundant. We also don't know much about our little cat here" said Odagiri.
"Well", Miyoshi started, putting down his book. "We know that he's loyal because he tried to chase away the bombers. As well as a little fighter because he started at least two fights with them. He also seems like the hapless type."
"All of those are very varied things that aren't connected" said Jitsui.
"Maybe we can pick a name that fits just one of those things" suggested Amari. "What about 'Little Night Spy'? After all, he acted as our little spy during night time."
"What about 'Mouse Murderer'?" asked Jitsui.
Everyone stared at him before Odagiri flatly said "No".
"It could work" said Hatano.
"Like hell it will."
"What if it encourages him to eat my pigeons? I need them for sending messages."
"I don't think that he'll eat Tazaki's birds. Cats can't fly, after all."
"So what can he do?" asked Jitsui, looking at the cat.
They all looked at the cat who seemed to be sitting still and bored before pouncing and chasing a mouse. He then crashed into the wall.
"Apparently not catch mice."
"Well, at least we know that he probably won't be a threat to Tazaki's pigeons" said Kaminaga as picked up the cat. The kitty quickly escaped from his arms, only for Miyoshi to hold him instead. He received a scowl from the smaller cat.
"He really is hapless, as well as unlucky. With such big eyebrows as well." Miyoshi looked at the black cat, who was staring at him with curiosity over what this strange human would do next. "He even has black hair."
"Do you want to name him after the cat in I am a cat?" asked Kaminaga. "He's haughty enough and also can't catch mice."
"The first sentence of the book says that he has no name, so how can we possibly name him after him?" asked Tazaki.
"We could name him 'Wagahai' suggested Kaminaga.
"Sounds cute" was all Amari said.
Miyoshi made a face showing off his unsureness with it in order to change their minds. "I think that we should add something to it to honor all he's done for us. Add a title that shows respect."
"What, you want us to name him ''Lord of the Night'?" asked Amari.
"- What?" Several of the spies had on them some very rarely seen blatant surprised and confused looks on them.
"Not something as esteemed as 'lord', just something that shows that he is part of the military, because we are technically part of it."
"So what about ''Private Nekoyama'?" said Fukumoto.
"We are all lieutenants, so whatever we call him, it should be Lieutenant something or other."
"Do you really want someone else to try to take over us?"
"That's why we should name him Yoru." said Hatano.
"Stop trying to name him Yoru, you're only annoying us" said Kaminaga.
"Perhaps you would like for me as well to claw you up if you give him that name" quietly said Jitsui, looking calm as he said it.
Hatano sighed. "I just think that it fits him is all. He has black fur-"
"As do a lot of cats."
"Comes around at night-"
"Though the first time was at day" said Tazaki.
"And is just as mysterious. It also works better for a cat then a dog."
"So, the nighttime spy-"
"He is not a nighttime spy, so just stop it with-"
"What about Sakura?" interrupted Miyoshi. "It's a last name, and fits spy hood because Sakura represent transience of life, while also sounding like a code name."
"So in this case, Sakura is a last name?"
"Yes. What do you all think?"
Everyone agreed to it as long as they added Wagahai to it as well.
"Alright, so from now on, you be 'Lieutenant Sakura Wagahai san'" Miyoshi announced to the cat. Everyone looked at the two cats, one of them holding the other in his arms. Little Wagahai had a confused but curious look on his face as he looked at Miyoshi, with the bigger cat also having the same expression when he saw the look on everyone's face. "Is there anything wrong with adding "san" to a cat?"
"It's a little too respectful, but…"
"Well, it's not I'm asking to call him sama-"
"Just Sakuma, is all.
Miyoshi paused, his face reverting to a wooden mask before saying "Well, he is hapless, after." Then he turned his attention to the cat. "Aren't you?"
He mewled and tried to get out of Miyoshi's hold.
"So you're saying that you want to screw Sakuma san through the cat?" asked Hatano.
Everyone stared at him, though only one person said anything. "If this is some elaborate joke on your part, then I don't understand it."
Miyoshi turned around towards the new speaker. "Sakuma san." He must have been walking right outside to another destination, since they would'd heard him if he opened the door, and only Hatano noticed him immediately. Hatano's comment would'd made no sense otherwise.
Hatano glared at him. "Why didn't you freak out and say 'it-it's not like that, Mi-Miyoshi would never-'".
"Because I know about your habits and jokes, and that you have tried to screw with me oh so many times in such a way. Also, what sort of person would jump into a conversation where they know that something like that is going to happen because they jump into a conversation held by tricksters and are surprised when they hear something weird?"
"... I wasn't expecting Sakuma san to be so savvy."
"Yeah, he has really wised up."
Everyone agreed with that while Sakuma just groaned and rested his face on his hand. "Guys, I'm not a common fool. I can see things that the average person can see."
"Yes, Sakuma san can see only what the average person can see" said Hatano. Sakuma shot him a glare.
"I only came here because I wanted to see how you guys were doing, and if the cat was fine."
"We wouldn't harm a cat" said Miyoshi. "Why, we're even naming him."
"Yes", said Hatano "Would he really harm his own kind?"
Miyoshi didn't glare at him, just shot him an annoyed look. Meanwhile, Wagahai escaped. Sakuma picked him up and just started petting him while cradling him in a strong but gentle hold. He purred contently.
"It seems that Sakuma san is some sort of cat whisperer as well" said Hatano. "Looks like you got some competition" he whispered to Miyoshi in German.
"What would I compete against the cat for?" he replied in like.
"To be the cat that has the lieutenant's attention."
"I wouldn't debase myself by trying to draw attention like a cheap circus dog just so the lieutenant can coo over me instead of the cat. Also, stop comparing me to a cat, I am nothing like one."
"I don't know, you are awfully independant, clawed, elegant, and graceful, as well as someone who is very haughty."
"... Sakuma san, do you know German?"
"It would be really hard to explain how I'm talking to you in German otherwise", he said, still stroking the cat. The cat, Miyoshi noticed, was purring too contently. It was getting on his nerves, though he didn't know why. Perhaps it was just because cats purring in general annoyed him, though he never knew that.
"May I ask why you know German?" Miyoshi asked back in Japanese.
"Because I learned it at the same place that I learned English: The Imperial Japanese Army Academy."
"I'm surprised that Sakuma san knows English at all" replied Hatano.
"Well, Sakuma san did say that he went to the Academy, and they do teach languages there, though I'm surprised that he knew anything" said Fukumoto.
"Why does everyone think that I'm an idiot?" asked Sakuma.
"Well…"
"You do-"
"Forget it. I'll just go to the dorms. Try not to kill the cat, or something."
"Sakuma san, we are not sadists" Miyoshi said, a small but intense fire burning in them."
"Yeah, if we don't harm people, why would we hurt a defenseless kitty?"
"I… don't know. I didn't mean intentionally hurt him, but just, you know, you guys doing what you guys usually do. I mean, he was almost beaten by a terrorist, so who knows what could happen." Sakuma tried to let the cat down and walk away, but the little furball just followed him. Even though he tried to carry him around the D Agency, little Yoshi would scratch at him and flee. Isn't this strange? It seems like the moment I walk away, they only then want to be near me.
Yoshi followed him all the way to the dorm, and only attempted leave when he closed the door.
"How come you always want to leave when I decide that you should stay? And how come you always follow me whenever I leave you alone?"
Yoshi just looked at him and mewled. It wasn't like he could answer those questions. Even if he could, he wouldn't. He was far too like a certain someone to give a straight answers when instead he could leave you in a loop.
Sakuma held the cat in his arms, and pondered.
I am a cat, and as of yet, I have no name.
Miyoshi had no name, and was very much cat-like. But it wasn't that he wasn't given a name, he merely discarded it. The cat in Wagahai wa Neko de aru was born without one, even though he eventually lived in a house and had owners. Because even though he lived in a house with people, they never decided to name him. He was more like a stranger that lived in the same house until he disappeared.
Though, if one thinks about it, one can never truly own a cat. They can only decide to live somewhere, to settle down for a bit. It's not like with a dog, where a dog will follow you everywhere: no, a cat can walk adjacent to you for as long as you walk, but can abandon you at a moment's notice. You have to continue pleasing the cat, lest he run away, but it's just more precious when he stays with you, even if you both know that it won't be forever.
"Wagahai… Is really a good name" he says, thinking of the ghost like cat who is with you forever until it tires. "It really is a good name after all."
Haughty, self-important, and full of unextinguishable pride even in when completely alone. Just like spies, who need it to sustain their existence in pitch black solitude.
Just like a cat, they are also nameless creature no one notices until they are gone. Because for all their grace and intelligence, their amazing feats that seem superhuman, no one pays them any, because they blend in with the endless night.
They all decided to name him Wagahai, the nameless cat.
Until the demon king overruled that with him suggesting Yoru. Because, while he probably wouldn't take serious measures against it, no one wanted to anger the demon king. Plus, it fit in with the "pitch black solitude" thing, and at least the motif of the night still fit in with spyhood.
The only reason why they wanted to change it was because Hatano wouldn't stop being a smug little one about this. But hey, you couldn't always get what you want.
Sometimes, even if you do, it will disappear forever.