This story starts in Season 3, during 'I Kissed A Girl', bc I'm sad and can't stop trying to fix what the glee writers broke. It's also VERY similar to my other story, Skype With Caution. So if reading stories that are too alike, esp from the same author annoys you... well, you already hate me, but this will make it worse. I have a serious affinity for epistolary fics and anything where one of them is anonymous. (I met my husband online, so I'm gonna blame him for that, since its become my habit to blame him for most of my writing... lol)
Most college application deadlines are Nov 1st, but since I'm sticking to their timeline, pretend its Dec 1st, k? =D
[Kurt]
As Kurt sits at his vanity rubbing the last cream into his cheeks, he wonders if Blaine has unpacked all of his bags yet. Probably. It's been a couple days and it's not like he can take that much.
There isn't much room in a Dalton dorm.
It's only Tuesday but Kurt already feels so drained that he can't wait for the weekend. He'd known when he broke up with Blaine on Friday that the other boy would take his chance to run back to the spotlight and the blazers. The past week had been one of the longest in Kurt's life. After their disastrous night out with Sebastian and The Incident, Kurt had known something was broken in their relationship.
He'd been dropping heavy handed hints for weeks, if not months, that he was ready to move their relationship on to the next level. Blaine had always changed the subject or said he wasn't ready. And that was fine, clearly Kurt didn't want to pressure him. If he wasn't ready, Kurt would wait, gladly. He'd rather them both be really sure that they wanted the same thing than do something they'd regret.
What he hadn't anticipated was that Blaine would need alcohol and another guy to decide it was time. Earlier that same week Kurt had talked to Blaine about what he wanted. He'd said that they were young, in high school, and he'd hinted that he didn't need anything other than his own hand. One night out with Sebastian and 'one beer' and suddenly Kurt is supposed to drop his pants in the back of his truck. What. The. Hell.
He's all for being spontaneous and having fun... But anyone who thought Kurt Hummel wanted to have his first time in the back of a vehicle, parked outside a gay bar, with his boyfriend so drunk he can't walk straight, wasn't paying attention. If we'd had sex before, and it was just another night out together, sure. It's not like I've never wanted to just crawl into the backseat before, but not the first time...
Kurt really didn't understand why that made him a prude or boring. Not that any of this actually mattered. Kurt had spent almost a whole day wringing his hands, wondering if he'd hurt Blaine's feelings or damaged his pride. It wasn't that he wasn't ready, or didn't want to, it was just the situation. Honestly he'd been thinking about making it up to Blaine by going back to his house with him after the show. However, before he'd gotten a chance to talk to Blaine about it, he'd overheard him talking to Rachel before curtain.
Kurt was in love. He was a senior. He was 18. He and Blaine had been together for a long time, and he was ready. Those are the reasons Kurt had wanted to give Blaine his virginity. Blaine had wanted to be a better actor in the school musical. He'd wanted to give an authentic performance as Tony. That was why his tune suddenly changed. That was why he was now 'ready' to do it. I guess I should just be glad that he loved me enough to not just go back to Sebastian after I turned him down that night.
With a sigh, Kurt tightens the lids on his jars and tubes and gets up. He glances at the clock and groans out loud when he sees that it's barely 8pm. Despite being ready for bed, he can't bring himself to actually crawl under the covers. As much as he'd love to escape reality, he'd be up at 4am and that's just too damn early.
Grabbing his phone, Kurt curls up in the chair by the window and scrolls through facebook hoping for a distraction. Sadly, most of his friends aren't really talking to him at the moment. They aren't mad at him, per se. they just aren't happy about losing Blaine. They're on his side about the break up, though. Not a single member of the glee club defended Blaine when the whole thing came out.
Kurt hadn't exactly been pleased to have his personal drama thrown around the choir room like they worked at TMZ, but Rachel had told the whole story before he could get a word in edgewise. In fact, he'd learned more about what had happened from listening in. Kurt had really just been hurt that Blaine was discussing their sex life with his co-star like the night before meant nothing, just a mild disappointment to him. Kurt had been eaten up with guilt and insecurities and Blaine had just been worried about his acting. It wasn't until Rachel had shamefully explained that they'd tried to lose their virginities for the sake of the play that Kurt had really felt vindicated.
Kurt had cornered Blaine on the stage on opening night after everyone left. He'd explained that the night before was unfair in every sense of the word and had ended up ranting for over five solid minutes about everything from airing their personal affairs to Blaine's clear attraction to Sebastian. Blaine may have never acted on it, but it was pretty obvious to everyone, especially Sebastian, that Blaine was flattered. He'd made no effort to make the warbler stop hitting on him.
Instead of apologizing and accepting responsibility for his actions, or even trying to tell his own side of the story, Blaine had snapped out "Well, if I'm such a crappy boyfriend, why are we even together?!"
Thankfully, Kurt had built up enough anger to yell back, "If that's all you have to say, we're not! Go to hell, Blaine!" and storm away. Blaine had stuck around McKinley long enough to finish the run of West Side Story, and had given his apologies to the glee club, but had told them that come Monday, he'd be back at Dalton. Kurt hadn't said a word to him since he'd broken up with him.
In fact, Kurt is surprised that he's not more heartbroken. Anger really was key, it seemed. Kurt was still so mad about everything Blaine had said, done, and meant in their last week together, that he'd shed very few tears and didn't regret the break up at all. He'd managed to end his first high school relationship in a very typical fashion. If it wasn't for the fact that his friends were all keeping their distance because he'd lost them such a talented singer, Kurt would be perfectly happy with the situation. As is, he's bored as hell.
Giving up on finding something to do, Kurt decides to go find Finn. Maybe he should give in about the xbox. He'd been watching the other glee guys play for months, so he's reasonably sure he could handle it. Just as he's about to walk down the hall, Kurt hears his phone chime with a text.
Cheering internally that he'll get to put off his foray into pixelated mayhem for a little longer, Kurt picks the phone back up but pouts at the text.
Unknown Number: Can I ask you a question?
Sighing, Kurt types out a quick response and sets the phone back down, heading for the door again. He barely makes it three steps before he's stopped by another chime. And then another. What the hell?
Me: You have the wrong number.
Unknown Number: No, I don't.
Unknown Number: How long after a break up do you have to wait before asking someone out?
Staring at the phone for probably longer than necessary, Kurt sits back down and types out,
Me: Uh, well I guess that depends.
Unknown Number: On...?
Me: Were you the one that just got out of a relationship? How long were the people involved together? How long has it been since they broke up? Are they male or female? Are you yourself male or female? How old are they? I could go on, but most of those things matter.
Unknown Number: Well damn. That requires waaay too much effort.
Me: Yes, well, relationships tend to do that. Also, who the hell are you? And how did you get my number?
Unknown Number: Oh, I can't answer that. That would be telling.
Me: Yes it would. It would also be less creepy than a random person asking me for relationship advice. Besides, I'm clearly not the person to ask.
Unknown Number: You made a relationship work way longer than I ever have. Sure, it crashed and burned, but hey, no ones perfect, right? =D
Me: I can't decide if you're trying to be nice, and you suck at it, or if you're trying to be an ass and you're good at it.
Unknown Number: Ass. I'm def better with ass.
Unknown Number: Being one, that is.
Me: Sure. That's what you meant.
Me: No really, who is this?
Unknown Number: I'm batman. Stop asking questions, that's my job. Okay, let's say for arguments sake that it's them that broke up. They are male and in high school, as am I. They dated... uh I dunno... months, and they broke up like two weeks ago. So how long before I ask him?
Kurt frowns. That's hitting a little too close to home. He and Blaine had dated more than 'months' probably entails and they'd only broken up a week ago... but still... Debating for a second, Kurt responds with,
Me: Uh... you're creeping me out now. I don't date stalkers, for the record.
Unknown Number: Who said anything about it being you? I haven't even confirmed that I know who you are.
Unknown Number: Btw, I totally know who you are.
Me: Well bully for you.
It's only after he's sent the last message that he realizes who could be texting him. He sends off another text, really hoping he's wrong.
Me: uh... Yogi?
Unknown Number: That's a terrible nickname. I don't even like picnics. Although I am fond of the idea of calling you BooBoo.
Me: so... you're not Yogi?
Unknown Number: um... no? Who/what is Yogi?
Trying to be diplomatic, in case it is Dave and he's just a liar on top of a bully, Kurt answers with,
Me: The guy who stole my first kiss. Ran into him not that long ago, was just making sure he hadn't taken up stalking in his spare time.
Unknown Number: Nope. I've def never kissed you.
Me: Oh, good. That narrows it down to you not being one of 3 people. Only about 7 billion to go. And you've yet to deny that you're stalking me.
Unknown Number: 3? that's kind of sad. But no, I'm not. I just needed your advice.
Me: What's sad is I only enjoyed 1 of em. The other two were just uncomfortable, for very different reasons. Well, my advice is, if it hasn't been very long, and they were together for months, he probably needs more time. Try to be there for him, maybe drop very heavy hints that you're interested in him, but let him know you'll wait. Just don't pull back so far that someone else cuts in front of you.
Unknown Number: Ok, sounds good. Beats the hell out of embarrassing myself.
Me: Glad I could help? Now if only I had any idea who I was helping. Why even come to me about this? Don't you have friends?
Unknown Number: Not smart ones. I haven't known the people near me for very long and I don't trust the people I DO know very much. And I asked you bc you're fairly similar to the guy I like, at least morally.
Me: Are you implying you have substandard morals? Maybe you shouldn't ask him out at all?
Unknown Number: I've made a few bad decisions in the past... plus I've never had a real relationship. Not one that mattered. (elementary school doesn't count right?)
Me: (no it doesn't) ah, well I'm here if you need a moral compass or whatever. I'm hardly busy. In fact I'm so bored I almost resorted to video games for entertainment.
Unknown Number: Oh, that I would love to see.
Me: *glare* I'll have you know that I'm really good at Mario kart. I just haven't delved into the trauma that is xbox live yet... my brother has been trying to get me to play call of duty for months.
Unknown Number: Lmao oh I can tell you exactly how that would go. I'd give it two weeks before he was posting vids on YouTube of you losing your shit.
Me: Heh, well maybe I'll just scream in french and ruin his fun then. Won't be funny enough to post if no one understands what I'm saying.
Unknown Number: Hey, SOME people speak french. Maybe he can hire someone to translate it.
Me: I love the boy, but he's not that smart.
Unknown Number: Well, on that note, I need to take a shower, so I'm out.
Me: Bah. Without your riveting conversation I'll be bored again. I guess I can just go to sleep. At least it's after 9 now. 8 was just sad.
Unknown Number: 9:30 isn't really better, Booboo.
Me: O god. You're not really going to start calling me Booboo are you? Trust me, I'm not a bear. Small or otherwise.
Unknown Number: LOL I know you're not, I know who you are remember? You're the one that's in the dark.
Me: I'm not actually sure that's true. You could think I'm someone I'm not. Maybe you got the numbers switched when you dialed? It can't be that hard to find a teenage boy fresh from a break up, with morals.
Unknown Number: True. Maybe we'll save name swaps for next time. Or I could keep calling you Booboo. Guess which one gets my vote?
Me: I think I'm leaning toward you having the wrong number. I can only think of like 3 people who would actually call me that. One of which is a lesbian and you're just not as mean as she is. And you've already said you're not Yogi.
Unknown Number: And the third?
Me: Would have no reason whatsoever to text me... unless he was gloating.
Unknown Number: gloating?
Me: He was trying to steal my boyfriend. I broke up with that bf and then basically chased him right into his arms. I'm not exactly sad over the loss but the fact that the guy in question won? Yeah, not happy about that. Plus I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't want to date someone seriously, and if he did, he wouldn't ask me for help with it. That would imply I know things he doesn't.
Unknown Number: Wow. Sounds like a real prize, that guy.
Me: Lol right? I feel sorry for anyone who actually falls for his particular brand of smarm. Actually, I take that back. I really hope Blaine ends up falling for it. After the shit he pulled with me, they deserve each other.
Unknown Number: Oh shit! You're not Blaine?! =O
Before Kurt can start to freak out, let alone answer him, he gets another text,
Unknown Number: Kidding! Kidding! God, I wish I could see your face right now.
Me: Asshole! Lol no, you really don't, otherwise you'd be within hitting distance.
Unknown Number: Oh, I'm pretty sure I could take you, Booboo.
Me: Damn, you're a jock aren't you? *glare*
Unknown Number: Lacrosse =P
Me: That's the one with sticks, right? Well, at least I know you don't go to my school. (no lacrosse team) I was starting to get worried this was Puck being an ass. But frankly the lack of 'txting lik dis' is also a pretty big tipping point. That and I blocked his number.
Unknown Number: Which one is Puck? I'm assuming he's in nude erections bc you people don't have other friends, right?
Me: Really? Nude Erections? and hey! I have other friends!
Unknown Number: Name one.
Me: … Jeff.
Unknown Number: Isn't he a warbler? Name one that doesn't sing in show choir.
Me: … shut up. And for the record, Puck is the one with a mohawk. Thought you had to go?
Unknown Number: Shit! Later! I'll txt you to let you know how it goes. Kind of nice to have someone to talk to that isn't a moron!
Me: What a GLOWING description of me. Thank you so much. Good luck with your guy.
Unknown Number: ;D
Kurt shakes his head, walking over to put his phone on the charger. Before he puts it down though, he decides to save the number. At the very least he needs to know it's not a random person if he does decide to text again. Deciding to deal with Finn when he's more awake, Kurt climbs into bed and turns the light off. He falls asleep trying to figure out who that was and if they'll really text him again.
A few days before Thanksgiving, Kurt gets his answer. It had been a couple weeks and he'd mostly managed to forget about the random texting session. After dinner he goes up to his room to finish his homework only to see an unread message.
Not Yogi: So, that was possibly the worst meal of my life. And I'm forced to go to kiss-ass political dinners!
Laughing, Kurt replies right away, leaning against his headboard.
Me: o no! Lol what happened?
Not Yogi: He SAID he was over the break up, and that he'd go out with me, and we did. I took him to dinner... but he spent the whole time talkin about his ex and whining about how it wasn't fair, didn't he know they belonged together?! Bur bur bur. I stopped listening after the first 20 fucking minutes.
Me: LOL aww! I'm so sorry. Maybe give it more time? Although it sounds like it'll take awhile for him to recover or they'll end up back together.
Not Yogi: Uh, I doubt they'll get back together. The other guy seems to not care, like at all. Moved on within like 5 minutes near as I can tell. Makes me wonder what really happened when they broke up. Somehow I think the side of the story I got left some things out.
Me: Probably, most guys don't like to admit when they did something stupid or wrong. God only knows what Blaine is telling people about our breakup.
Not Yogi: Lol don't suppose you'll tell me what actually happened so I can at least set rumors straight if I hear them? =P
Me: Sure! Maybe you'll screw up and I'll hear about someone going around knowing the whole story, because I haven't told anyone else, so I'd def know who it was =)
Not Yogi: nvm... You could tell me anyway and I'll just not tell anyone? =D
Me: lol honestly it's not that surprising how it all fell apart, but it IS personal. I don't know you, you won't tell me who you are, why should I tell you something that could potentially embarrass me if it got out?
Not Yogi: ...bc I want you to?
Me: O, well in that case... *rolls eyes*
Not Yogi: um... I'd send you an embarrassing picture of me or something to keep as blackmail but then you'd know who I am... so that's a no. uh... oh come on! You said it wasn't surprising, would it really be that bad if other people DID find out? What could I possibly do with the information?
Me: Tell everyone ever... and no, not really. It's just... it's about sex and the last thing I want is everyone finding out details about my sex life.
Not Yogi: uh... no offense intended (not right now anyway) but... what sex life? You couldn't look more virgin-esque if you wore all white and tied bows in your hair.
Me: Omg. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you didn't mean that offensively. Jesus.
Not Yogi: Lol sorry! But it's true! If you've had sex, my name is Susan.
Me: Only Susan I know is Britt, so I guess you have me there. Although I'm not sure I do know you... have we ever actually met or are you just a creeper who somehow knows all about my life without actually being a part of it?
Not Yogi: We've met... we even had a conversation once! But no, I don't really know you that well. And what I do know I found out through a mutual friend. The one time we talked it wasn't the deep soul searching kind. Frankly you're just kind of infamous in Lima. The first gay and all that. Which isn't fair, I'm sure I was out before you were, I just didn't live here at the time. =(
Me: Well, sorry, you can't have my crown. Or my scepter.
Not Yogi: … you totally have a crown and a scepter don't you?
Me: Yes.
Not Yogi: That should surprise me more than it does... Be glad I don't actually know where you live, or I'd come for them. One of these days, they'll mysteriously disappear, and you'll know... I found you.
Me: Thanks for the warning, now I need to get an alarm or something. I went through great personal trauma for that crown, I'm not about to let it get stolen. However, if you tell me your name I'll let you take a picture wearing it. I'll even let you borrow the kilt so that we'll match.
Not Yogi: ...what?
Me: Nothing. lol All I'm going to say on the subject of our break up was that he suddenly decided he WAS ready to have sex, but it didn't really have anything to do with things like 'loving me' or 'wanting me'. Toss in a little drunken groping with a side of NO MEANS NO and you've got one failed relationship.
Not Yogi: Whoa lol ok, yeah, I doubt that's the version he's telling.
Me: Somehow I doubt it, yeah. He's probably making me out to be oversensitive and judgy or something. Whatevs. He's officially not my problem anymore. Now I can just stand back and wait for the hordes of gay men that were waiting on me to be single. No really. I'll wait.
Not Yogi: Lol if there are hordes of gay men in Lima, Ohio and I've missed them, I'm going to be really upset. Unless your type is a 40 yr old drag queen, you're pretty much out of luck. Hardly anyone is out around here.
Me: O trust me, I'm aware. For a long time I was the only gay person I knew. Then I met Blaine, found out about Yogi, and Santana was shoved out of her closet. I've recently met a few more but really, no one I'd date. I still can't figure out who you are. I must not have known you were gay... =(
Not Yogi: Nu uh, no fishing for clues. I'm not responding to that at all. Is Santana the cheerleader from the commercial? I heard something about how she hadn't actually been out and that guy was just a dick about it. I didn't know you were friends.
Me: Well, friends is a strong word. We're in glee together. She's like Puck. One of the popular kids that puts up with us weirdos.
Not Yogi: Ah. Well, who knows? Maybe someone at your school will come out now that you're single. No reason to come out if the guy you like is taken, etc. Esp with Blaine gone, you could very well have guys popping up out of the woodwork to confess.
Me: Somehow I doubt it. I've actually never had someone confess to me, unless Blaine counts. Which it shouldn't, I liked him first and it took him months to decide I was date-able.
Not Yogi: Uh what about the other 2 ppl you kissed?
Me: One was a girl who just wanted to kiss every guy in the school and Yogi didn't like me, I don't think. He was just confused and very, very mad.
Not Yogi: That sucks. Still, just because guys haven't admitted to liking you doesn't mean no one does. We've already said no one is out here.
Me: Heh, I really don't think that's the problem. I'm not exactly the type of guy people drool over. Doesn't matter. Soon enough I'll be in New York and I'll either find someone there or be so busy that I don't notice my lack of man.
There's a very long pause before he gets a response, which is weird because usually the other boy answers right away.
Not Yogi: I didn't know you were going to New York next year, college?
Me: Yep! I applied for NYADA.
Not Yogi: And?
Me: And what? I haven't been accepted yet or anything, it's only November.
Not Yogi: No, where else did you apply? Just NY schools or did you leave some Ohio ones for backups?
Me: Oh, just NYADA. That's the one I'm going to. If I apply somewhere else, it's like admitting that I might not get in. Don't want to jinx it.
Not Yogi: … are you an idiot?
Me: What? It's a perfectly valid decision! Rachel and I did it together.
Not Yogi: Wow, you really are that stupid huh?
Kurt glares at the phone.
Me: I'm not stupid just because I refuse to admit defeat. I'll get into NYADA, so it doesn't matter. Why waste money on application fees?
Not Yogi: Nope. Sorry. I was only talking to you because I thought you had a higher IQ than the average moron around here, apparently I was wrong.
Me: Screw you, jerk! You don't know anything about me!
Not Yogi: Clearly.
Glaring at the phone again, Kurt throws it down on his bed and grabs his messenger bag, deciding to go do his homework in the living room. What the hell was that? Just because I'm set on my school, he called me stupid? Screw him! I will get into NYADA.
Sitting in the floor in front of the coffee table, Kurt spreads out the few homework assignments he'd been given. He's on break for Thanksgiving so it wasn't much. He'd just finished his French translation when Burt comes in.
"Hey, kiddo. Will you be bothered if I watch tv?" Getting nothing but a shrug in return he asks, "You okay? What's wrong?"
Kurt glares at his notebook for a few more seconds before turning around. "If I told you that a friend of mine only applied to one college, because it's the only one they want to go to and they're sure they'll get in, what would you say?"
Burt laughs, "That it's stupid." At his son's dumbfounded look, he shrugs. "Nothing is guaranteed, Kurt. Even if they 'knew' they were getting in, until you get that paper saying 'congrats!' you never know what will happen. If you want to go to college, you have to apply multiple places. It sounds like they don't care very much, and would rather stay home than go anywhere else but that one school. Actually, most high schools, at least the good ones, require you to apply to at least three places if you apply to any."
Staring down at his hands, Kurt admits, "I only applied to NYADA."
Burt frowns, "What?! Are you crazy? That school only accepts like 50 kids a year, right?"
"20." Kurt admits, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Do you think they won't pick me?"
Burt waves his arms, "Not because you're not good enough, but you never know how they pick people, Kurt! What if they have a legacy thing, where alumni can get in friends or family? What if they're shady and take bribes? I'm not saying you won't get in, you probably will, but just in case, you need to apply to other places!"
Biting his lip, Kurt nods. "Yeah... I guess so. I'm going back up to my room to look into more colleges and stuff in New York. See when the deadlines are."
Burt picks up the remote, watching Kurt pack his stuff up. "Sure thing, buddy. Let me know if I can do anything to help."
Smiling, Kurt takes his stuff back up to his room. He sits down at his desk, turning on his laptop, resolutely ignoring the phone still thrown onto his bed.