Princess Pride

Chapter One

Written By: The Firebending Frog

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the characters, merchandise, or mentioned things in this fic, this is purely a fanwork made for comedy. Respective rights go to respective owners

"Yeah I have her right here, she's trapped and has to wait for Mario to show up!" Bowser laughed evilly as he talked to his minions, "Once he's here I'll destroy him and marry her!"

"Uh lord bowser-" A koopa interrupted.

"Can't you see I'm busy underling?!' Bowser demanded angrily.

But sir, she escaped again." he stated making Bowser's jaw drop.

"WHAT?!" Bowser yelled throwing the door open and gasping at the sight of Princess Peach at the Window, she blew a raspberry at him and jumped out the window without even looking back.

"Lord Bowser?" The minion asked almost like he was going to be impaled for speaking.

"RAAAAAH!" Bowser yelled.

What if Princess Peach wasn't a Damsel in Distress?

"We have a delivery of a massive cake from an unknown source." the delivery man explained as he faced Mario.

"How about you A check and see who it's A from so no one-a throws it on top of her and then I have to save her again!" Mario ordered pointing at the guy.

"Hey don't get mad at me, there's no return address." The guy shrugged.

"Burn it." Mario ordered and the castle gate shut with a slam.

"Well no use ignoring personal orders from the princess' bodyguard, I sure hope no one was hiding in the cake waiting for their chance to strike." The delivery man rambled before lighting up a blowtorch, "Can't argue with a royal order, no sir, gotta destroy this here cake and everything in it with fire!"

Or

"Princess! We're under attack by Bowser and his minions, they're using airships again!" The messenger exclaimed as the castle rattled from an explosion making two of the guards wimper.

"Well activate the air defense you bozo!" Peach ordered smacking him in the face and letting go of Luna, "We aren't just going to let him steal my castle and freeze all you guys in crystal."

"We have air defense?" The messenger gasped in awe.

"This invasion is finally going my- WHAT THE!" Bowser screamed as a massive bullet bill was shot directly at his ship from one of the castle turrets.

"EAT THIS BOWSER!" The princess yelled from the turret before the entire ship blew up and she aimed at the next one.

Or

"This chest contains a map leading to an unimaginable treasure of epic wealth." the shady man on the dock explained in his raspy voice, "Don't you want to buy it?"

"No thanks, I'm already filthy rich." Peach replied defiantly crossing her arms, "Got anything else I could buy.

"No. Are you sure you don't want to buy?" he asked shoving the box towards her, "Treasure!..."

"I told you I'm fine." Peach replied pushing it back at him

"I swear it contains a map that leads to treasure and not a thousand year old shadow witch that will inhabit your body and destroy the realm." The old merchant hissed, "Trust me..."

"You're starting to scare me with this weirdo talk." Peach replied raising an eyebrow sceptically.

"Treasure... X-Nauts... Moon base..." The old merchant hissed from under his hood and rocking his head about like he'd gone mad.

Peach just started to back away slowly.

"I'm going to go over here now..." Peach trailed before running away quickly.

"AW COME ON!" The merchant yelled throwing the miniature chest to the ground and looking around, "Who else will be dumb enough to fall for this..."

"Has anyone seen my vampire boyfriend?!" Bella demanded in a very airy tone walking into his view.

"Hello..." The merchant hissed picking up the chest and walking over to her.

Or

The grand doors to the castle blew open as the tall shadowed figure walked in laughing maniacally. With a wave of his hands the guards were all flung against the walls and lay there unconscious. He walked slowly down the hall past the many paintings and candlelit areas, every shadow seemed to vanish and collect around the man, he laughed as this happened and flung open a final set of doors.

"Princess! Princess peach! I am here to-" he started but was nailed in the face with a massive purple fist.

"HAHAHA! I am way more powerful than you think!" Peach laughed from where she stood shrouded in a flurry of darkness.

"Wait a second, you aren't supposed to have magic!" The man exclaimed calling a time out, "What's up with this?"

He motioned to the swirl of purple magic around her, the two massive shadowy fists, and the broad and sweet grin on peach's face.

"Oh you know that Shadow Queen that possessed me that one time, yeah when she died I got all her powers, Like it?" Peach asked motioning her hands while the man's face dropped in fear, "Anyway, FINAL SMAS-"

"AHAHAHAHAAH!" The two girls laughed while Peach sat between them with her lips pursed and a frown on her face.

"Resist capture!" Elsa laughed smacking the table with her fist and leaving ice on it, "That's hilarious!"

"It could happen!" Peach exclaimed Throwing her hands up.

"Listen girl, she's a queen, I was almost in a position of power, you're a pretty face that gives cake as reward to people who save you." Azula smirked using a spoon to stir her tea, "Not exactly a powerhouse."

"Well I've been changing! I upped security at the castle and I signed up for a personal trainer." Peach protested holding up his card, "Reswob, he'll be the only one able to kidnap you by the time he's done."

"Uhhhh..." Both girls trailed completely dumbfounded by the lack of common sense the third one apparently held.

"Yeah you heard me! Personal trainer." Peach stated thrusting the card into her purse, "I won't ever be captured again."

"Listen, you don't have bending-" Azula started putting her hands up for the exlaination.

"Magic." Elsa interrupted.

"-Martial arts, enough brainpower to outsmart most foes, and you don't hold a position of power." Azula continued, "You're right for the plucking, and that Bowser guy is a great plucker."

"Hey I'm not supposed to be in charge." Peach protested.

"Where's the king peach?" Elsa demanded in a no nonsense voice.

"Away..." Peach trailed looking thoughtful

"Really, that's what you were told." Azula sighed, "It's bad enough Elsa went three months thinking her parents were on vacation sending her letters but how long has this guy been away?"

"Fifteen years..." Peach trailed.

"HE'S DEAD!" Azula yelled hitting the table, "Why aren't you queen?!"

"I don't know, Why aren't you queen?!" Peach demanded shooting the insult at Azula.

"Because my idiot brother got to be fire lord hm murmer nandn." Azula trailed taking a drink of tea to muffle her words out.

"Get coroneted." Elsa ordered.

"NO!" Peach yelled.

"It's not that hard, you just stand in front of a crowd nervously and hope they don't notice your freakishly unnatural powers!" Elsa explained remembering her own coronation.

"It's funny because where I come from people liked that I used to sneeze fire." Azula commented with a sigh, "Good times."

"And yet your brother is in charge." Elsa commented.

"I could fry you right now." Azula threatened.

"... No you wouldn't." Elsa laughed, "I'd freeze you before you could burn me."

"Fire melts Ice, it's logic." Azula summed up.

"Did that matter to Katara? No No it didn't!" Elsa smirked making Azula frown heavily in remembrance of her own defeat.

"I'll be fine." Peach stated putting her hands on the table, "Relax, I have everything under control. I just make Daisy do the boring stuff and make Toadworth knight people and whatnot."

"No! No you won't be fine! Who even runs your country? You don't do anything but get kidnapped and Go-kart!" Elsa exclaimed, "Have you ever even done a trade meeting? Imagine trying to find someone to replace Weselton! It's harder than you think!"

"What's a trade meeting?" Peach asked.

"Something tells me she's just a figurehead." Azula muttered putting her tea down and glaring at a passing Jade Dragon Waitress.

"Oh sure! My kingdom is great, we have sports, no one lives in poverty! It's great." Peach smiled as she counted off the good things on one hand

"What do they broadcast on TV! Can we see what your mushroom kingdom peasants are up to?" Elsa demanded.

"Katniss Everdeen!' The lady on the podium shouted making the crowd gasp.

"We do not play Hunger games!' Peach exclaimed looking angry at the accusation.

"It could happen, especially with you living such a secluded life." Elsa explained, "I know all my subjects, all three hundred of them."

"Wow, your in charge of nothing." Azula muttered.

"No you're in charge of nothing." Elsa replied.

"HAH! You need a Burn Heal!" Peach laughed. pointing at Azula

"Oh quit talking miss I-get-kidnapped-all-the-time." Azula stated, "Just because your a pretty blonde with a totally girly voice like Ty-lee doesn't make you smart, powerful, or able to hold your own at anything."

"I don't need to take this!" Peach exclaimed standing up, "I'm going to go get training, I'll beat Bowser myself, and then you'll all see!'

Peach suddenly left in a huff and both girls stared at one another quietly for several seconds.

"She does realize that Reswob is Bowser spelled backwards right?" Elsa asked.

"It's almost as bad as Dracula posing as Alucard!" Azula exclaimed.

"HELP!" Peach screamed suddenly.

"Looks like I owe you five dollars!" Azula laughed pointing at Elsa.

The End

"Hey guys thanks for reading our new fic, hope you liked it." Elsa smiled while waving.

"Tell us if you enjoyed it by leaving a comment or following the fic." Azula added.

"This is new ground for us and we'd like to know exactly what you want to see in the future." Elsa explained, "Like which members of royalty you want to see-"

"Like me." Azula interrupted.

"-Or what topics you'd like us to discuss." Elsa concluded, "Anyway I was supposed to say something else..."

"What?" Azula demanded crossing her arms.

"Something about my story." Elsa mused, "An update or something."

"Okay stop breaking the fourth wall already, we don't want this building to collapse." Azula exclaimed.

"SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Princess Leia screamed rushing past the two, "IT'S TOO GIRLY!"

"She isn't taking the Disney Lucasfilm buyout very well." Elsa stated watching her go.

"Okay." Azula nodded, "Makes sense, hanging out with you all day."

Elsa narrowed her eyes at Azula and held the expression.