Dalton belongs to CP Coulter
Logan walked down the stairs and out of the door of Stuart trying to calm himself down. He wasn't angry like he usually was, he was upset. Upset because of all the things that Julian had said. They played over in his mind and he tried to block out the vicious words as his eyes stung with tears that were threatening to overflow. He made his way to the place that he always went when he needed to calm down, but as he rounded the corner he found it was already occupied.
Blaine looked up at the sound of footsteps on the pathway and found Logan stood at the edge of the bench on which he was sat.
"I was...I didn't expect anyone to be here. Sorry" Logan said in a broken voice
"There's room for one more" Blaine said quietly whilst nodding to the empty space on the bench at the side of him
"Thank you" Logan whispered as he sat down
They sat in silence for a while but Blaine watched Logan carefully out of the corner of his eye. He saw that he was crying but decided not to draw attention to it.
"You're not angry" Blaine stated quietly
Logan shook his head in reply
"But not medicated"
"Not trying to be funny, but why are you talking to me?"
"Because you need someone to talk to" Blaine shrugged
Logan sat staring at the far distance for a while before he spoke softly "I'm sorry. For trying to ruin everything. For you. Again"
"Why did you do it Logan? I don't understand"
"I was just...jealous. That he loved you. It was obvious from the start that he did, and I guess I just wanted that for myself. He was the only person that listened to me whether I was medicated or not, and it just made me feel better. Having someone there"
"You just..." Blaine said staring at Logan sadly "You just wanted somebody to love you...?"
Logan smiled and nodded. "I know now that'll never happen"
"That's not true. Logan you're not...unlovable. I should know. It just...takes someone extra special to appreciate you."
Logan tilted his head and then sighed sadly
"I don't want to destroy everything again" Logan said quietly, looking down sadly
"Who's to say you will?"
"It's what I always do"
"Well maybe you need somebody that'll fix it for you"
"And who in their right mind would want to fix my mess?" Logan laughed. He looked up when Blaine didn't say anything and found him looking at him with an expression that Logan couldn't quite work out. "What? Why are you looking like that?"
"How did it come to this?" Blaine said sadly, averting his eyes from Logan. "This feud that's between us. Neither of us deserve this"
"You're a Windsor, I'm a Stuart, I think it's pretty compulsory" Logan laughed nervously
"But...it never used to be like this. You were a Stuart then..."
"That was different. We were..." Logan trailed, not wanting to say it
"Together?"
Logan sighed "Yeah...that"
Blaine looked down, not wanting to show how upset those two words had made him. He saw the regret in Logan's eyes. He knew that he and Logan had had probably the worst relationship in the history of relationships looking back on it, but he didn't wish he'd never had the relationship, and he never thought Logan would.
"You regret it..." Blaine said quietly
"Regret what?" Logan asked softly
"Being...with me. You regret being my boyfriend"
"No!" Logan said louder than he probably should have "What...what would make you say that?"
"I can see it in your eyes"
"I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is making you leave me" Logan said sadly
"What?" Blaine whispered
"I do miss you, you know" Logan smiled "You had a way of...always making everything okay. Nobody else has ever had that effect on me"
"I guess I miss you too. I can't say I miss the anger or the outbursts but...you're a good person. Sometimes you're even a nice person. I miss that Logan"
"I miss that Logan too"
Blaine reached out tentatively and put his hand lightly on Logan's shoulder. "Things will get better for you"
"I hope so. Thank you, Blaine. I don't know why you're actually talking to me, given everything that I have done...but thank you"
"You're welcome" Blaine said removing his hand, and moving to stand
"Blaine" Logan said making Blaine turn back to look at him "Sit back down" he said raising an eyebrow
"Why?"
"I may be an idiot, but I know you and you only come here when something is wrong. So sit"
Blaine shook his head and then took his place next to Logan again
Logan laughed loudly "I can't believe you just did what I told you"
"Shut up. It's been known to happen"
"So, what's wrong?"
"What...are you asking me how I am?" Blaine raised an eyebrow in surprise
Logan rolled his eyes "It's been known to happen" he smirked and then looked expectantly at Blaine; waiting for him to answer his question.
Blaine sighed "It's just... Nothing really"
Logan tilted his head "Well obviously it's something if it's upsetting you"
"I'm not upset"
"Yes you are. I can see it. What happened?"
"Long story"
"I have time"
"It involves telling a story from my past"
"I think I'm fairly knowledgeable in that area"
"You don't give up do you?"
"Nope"
"Stubborn prick"
"Likewise"
Blaine shook his head and spoke in a quiet voice "It's...Micah. He came back..."
Logan subconsciously shifted closer to Blaine "Are you...okay?"
Blaine nodded his head and faked a small smile "Yeah"
Logan eyed him curiously "No...I didn't think so either. Why did he come back?"
"I don't know. I think..." Blaine sighed and put his head in his hands "I think he came back for Shane"
"Oh. Is that...bad?"
"Very" Blaine whispered
Logan shifted even closer to Blaine and before he realised what he was doing he put an arm across Blaine's shoulders
"Logan..." Blaine looked up "What are you doing?"
"No idea" Logan shrugged "I just...I did it without thinking"
"Oh"
"Sorry. I don't know why I did that" Logan whispered, removing his arm
"It's...it's okay"
"Is Micah going to cause a problem with you and Kurt?" Logan asked quietly
"No" Blaine shook his head "Not at all. If he ever tried to I'd..." he trailed, his voice furious
"I understand that more than you know"
"Yeah" Blaine laughed quietly "I know you do"
Logan was quiet for a while before he whispered "I think it's...I think it's happening again, Blaine"
"What is?" Blaine asked just as quietly
"Like...like the last time. When I got jealous because of...because he was hanging around you all the time. I can feel it; the jealousy. I don't know what to do"
"Logan, what? I don't get what you mean...do you mean me and Kurt?"
Logan laughed bitterly "No. I envied him at first but...no, not anymore. You deserve to be happy" he shrugged
"You were...you were jealous of Kurt?"
"Of course I was. I loved you, I wanted you for myself" Logan shook his head and then whispered under his breath "I still do"
"Logan...I can't be with you. You know that"
"I know" Logan said sadly
"Who's making you feel like this then? Do you love someone else...?" Blaine's face fell into a concerned expression. He hoped that Logan would love somebody that would be good for him. He didn't want another replay of last year.
"I think...I do" Logan said and then a muffled sob broke out of his chest and clawed its way up his throat
"Woah. Logan. Calm down, okay." Blaine put a hand on Logan's shoulder as his sobs became more and more violent
"I...I can't" Logan said between sobs
"Okay...well...just. Oh God" Blaine said as he moved and pulled Logan in for a hug. After a while of Blaine holding Logan he realised that he wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, as sobs still shook his body viciously. He didn't know how to cope with an upset Logan, he barely knew how to deal with an angry Logan, so he did the only think he could think of and he texted Kurt.
"Logan" Blaine whispered, pulling away so he could look at him. "Logan you need to calm down. I texted Kurt, I hope you don't mind, but he's better at dealing with people when they're upset. I don't...I don't know what to do"
Logan looked up quickly at Blaine before he put his head in his hands. "I-I don't know what to do either. You...You should go. You don't need to deal with my crap"
Blaine sighed, but stayed sat watching Logan. He looked up when he heard rushed footsteps on the gravel path and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was Kurt.
"What's wrong with him?" Kurt whispered to Blaine who shrugged in silent reply
"Logan...do you...think maybe that you should go inside?" Kurt said softly as he knelt down in front of Logan
Logan shook his head "No...I-I can't. He's in there"
Blaine and Kurt shared a curious look before Kurt spoke quietly "Who is?"
"J-Julian. He's such a-a bitch. Always arguing with me. And making my life hell"
"Well maybe if you spoke to him..."
"No. It's just what we do. We always argue. It's just I-I don't want to anymore"
This time it was Blaine that spoke "Logan...what you said...is it...do you love Julian?"
Logan looked up, eyes flaring. "Don't you dare, why would you even say anything like that?" he growled
"Sorry. Sorry. Calm down" Blaine said softly
"You didn't say no" Kurt whispered after a moment of awkward silence
"Go away. This has nothing to do with you. Either of you. Just leave me the hell alone" Logan said, his voice rising
"How long have you loved him?" Blaine asked quietly
Logan growled and glared at Blaine, his eyes furious "Don't push it, Blaine. You know better than to make me angry"
"Fine" Blaine said getting up off of the bench and offering his hand to Kurt, who took it gladly and pulled himself up "We should just leave him be"
"Finally" Logan groaned. He didn't lift his head up but he heard them walk away and was left with complete silence. He hated the silence. His head always filled it with vicious thoughts and he could never escape them. After a few minutes of torturous silence he heard more footsteps on the pathway and sighed.
"I thought I told you to leave me the hell alone" Logan growled with his head still in his hands. He felt the bench move as someone sat beside him and only looked up in shock as a pair of hands grabbed his arms and pulled him into an embrace. "Oh great. It's you" Logan groaned
"Charming as ever, Lo" Julian said with a smirk
"What do you want, Julian?"
"Hobbit told me you were upset" hate curling around the name
"Don't call him that" Logan said quietly, pulling away to glare at his friend
"And why shouldn't I?"
"Because he's not the one being a dick right now"
"And what...that's me is it?"
"You know it is"
"If I say I didn't mean it would that make you feel any better?" Julian said bitterly
"It's not that" Logan sighed
"So...what? You don't want me around anymore, is that it?"
"No! Julian. I just. My head is screwed up okay"
"Tell me something new"
"I just...I don't understand why you never told me"
"What was I supposed to do?" Julian laughed "Just come out with it? 'Oh hey Lo. How are you today? By the way I'm in love with you'"
"It's a way at least. I can't believe you kept this from me"
"Why should that bother you so much?" Julian's voice was rising
"It bothers me a lot actually. You don't know anything" Logan growled quietly
"Oh. Oh I get it. You want to add me to the long list of acquisitions that you've made"
"No!" Logan shouted, lunging forward to grab Julian's shirt and push him against the arm of the bench "You don't know anything"
"Then tell me" Julian shouted back as he tried to push Logan off of him. They really shouldn't be having an argument in the open, but neither really cared what anyone else thought.
"I love you. I was in love with you. I loved you. I-I think" Logan sighed and moved away so that he could put his head in his hands "I don't know, okay. I still do"
"You expect me to believe this crap?" Julian glared
Logan's head snapped up. "Don't you dare say I'm lying. I fell in love with you in freshman year. But when I found out you were straight it broke my heart. So I forced myself to move on"
"With Blaine"
"Yes"
"And did it work? Forcing yourself to move on?"
"No" Logan whispered. He could feel the sobs trying to claw their way through his chest, but he tried to force them back down. He wouldn't let Julian see him crying.
"So you mean..."
"Yes, okay. I still love you. You made me fall in love with you. I hate you" Logan said, throwing himself up off of the bench and storming his way back to Stuart. He got a few footsteps away before a hand closed around his wrist and pulled him back so that he and Julian were merely inches apart. "What are you doing?" Logan whispered, trying to avoid eye contact
"You love me" Julian smiled
"I thought we'd just discussed this"
"So that means you're mine"
Logan shivered at the possessive tone of Julian's voice as he was pulled closer "I am not yours, Julian"
"Oh, you are now"
"No. No way. You can't just decide you want me"
"I decided years ago that I wanted you. And now I'm taking you for myself"
"I'd like to see you try"
Julian leaned his head so that his lips were brushing against Logan's ear "Then push me away" he purred
That was all it took for Logan's hand to wrap around Julian's waist, grabbing roughly at his shirt, pulling him closer as their lips met in a passionate and demanding kiss. Julian twisted his fingers in Logan's hair as he pulled his lips away "I am never letting you go now"
"I think I can cope with that" Logan smirked
"Good. Because you belong to me now"