Slimer was flying around the firehouse, giggling with delight, his face and arms poking out from a red polyester apple costume. On his way into the kitchen, he crashed into Garrett, who was wheeling his way through the door with a tray of vol-au-vents.

'Uh, sorry,' Slimer said sheepishly, as the tray slid towards the ground, but Garrett caught it in time.

'Could've been worse, Slimer,' he said cheerfully, as he wheeled his way into the lounge.

'Please don't eat anything before the party, Slimer,' said Janine, who was standing on a chair and hanging rubbery, gangly spiders from the light shade. 'And don't eat everything when the party starts either. Try to control yourself, okay?'

'Okay, Janine,' said Slimer, already eyeing up the snack table.

'Are you guys sure this party is a good idea?' asked Roland, who was sitting on the couch with his laptop. 'We could get any number of calls tonight.'

'That's what you said last Halloween,' said Garrett. 'And what happened in the end? We all just sat here on our butts!'

'You sit everywhere on your butt,' said Eduardo, coming in with a large punch bowl, followed by Kylie with two huge stacks of paper cups. 'Y'know, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, they said that demons and stuff boycott Halloween because it's become too commercial.'

'Something must have happened anyway,' said Roland. 'Otherwise it'd be a pretty boring episode.'

'Yeah, something happened,' said Eduardo. 'Everybody turned into their costumes.'

'Ugh,' said Garrett. 'That one's getting real old, real fast.'

'Which is better, Eduardo?' asked Janine. 'Buffy or Harry Potter?'

'Harry Potter,' said Eduardo. 'Kevin's the one who likes Buffy. I watch it with him because no one else will.'

'Is that the only reason?' asked Garrett. 'You wouldn't happen to have a little crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar, would you?'

'Well, sure I do,' Eduardo said with a shrug. 'Don't you?'

Garrett looked disappointed with this reaction, and turned his attention to arranging snacks.

'First Mina and now Buffy,' said Kylie, poking Eduardo in the small of his back and grinning up at him. 'You got a thing for vampire hunters, huh?'

'I never actually had a crush on Mina,' said Eduardo. 'Anyway, I liked Buffy first. Dracula was only last semester.'

'Sorry,' said Kylie, maintaining her flirtatious tone. 'So are you, um... are we all coming to this party tonight?'

'I don't know,' said Garrett. 'What do you say, Rolster? You could bring T'Keysha or – look, what is her name?'

'I can't make it, Garrett,' said Roland. 'Sorry. I'm busy with the family tonight.'

'You'll be missing a great night, Roland,' said Janine. 'How about you, Eduardo?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I'm kinda busy for a while this evening.'

'Oh,' said Kylie, and she actually sounded disappointed.

'Um,' said Eduardo, noticing this, and not quite knowing what to do with it. 'I'll try to stop by later, though. If Janine'll let me off not being in costume.'

'No costume?' said Janine, hopping down from her chair. 'Where's your Halloween spirit?'

'I'm just being smart,' said Eduardo. 'There's always a chance that turning into your costume thing will happen in real life.'

'I don't think so, Eduardo,' said Kylie.

'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, finding his confidence at last, and matching the grin she had given him a few moments before. 'Why take the chance?'

Kylie held his gaze for a moment, then turned and made her way casually back into the kitchen. Garrett watched the scene with great scrutiny, then suddenly had to turn round and wave Slimer away from the snack table. Roland kept his gaze fixed firmly on his laptop screen. Janine opened up a box of yet more Halloween decorations. In a darkened corner of the room, a pair of malevolent green eyes receded into the wall.

Casey Jackson, dressed as a devil, walked into his hallway and picked up the plastic pitchfork that was leaning against the stairwell.

'Where'd you get your costume, Case?' asked his sister, who was dressed as a witch. 'You look like a giant chilli pepper.'

'Where'd you get your Halloween mask?' countered Casey. 'You look my ugly sister.'

'I'm not taking you if you're going to fight,' said Roland, appearing on the stairs.

'We're not fighting,' said the girl. 'Can we go now, please?'

'Yes, Amy, we can go now,' said Roland. 'Casey, I don't want to find any eggs on you, okay?'

'Yeah, yeah, I know,' said Casey, rolling his eyes. 'Are we doing this or what?'

Roland put a hand between the shoulder blades of each child and ushered them outside, onto the darkening street, where more children were pouring out of their houses in droves. A woman stood nearby, looking tired already, while two boys and a girl dressed as Ghostbusters shot at imaginary demons with plastic weapons. Roland looked at them, pleased, as they were joined by a boy wearing an almost naked foam bodysuit and a bright yellow wig.

'Aww,' the boy said, in aggrieved tones, a plastic sword dropping impotently at his side, 'I thought we were gonna be He-Man!'

'Man, what's wrong with you?' said the older of the two boys. 'That cartoon is so old!'

'So old!' said the girl. 'The Ghostbusters are buff, Josh. It's great being Ghostbusters!'

'Yeah!' said the other boy. 'We have porton packs and everything!'

'Proton packs, doofus!' said the girl, giving him a shove.

'Lisa!' snapped the tired-looking woman. 'Be nice to your brother!'

'I used to watch He-Man,' said Roland. 'Is it as old as all that?'

'What's He-Man?' asked Amy.

Roland sighed heavily, and led his young siblings on into the night.

Once again, Garrett wheeled his way from the firehouse kitchen and crashed into Slimer. This time they were both in costume; Garrett was wearing tattered clothes and greenish-white face paint.

'Great costume, Garrett!' babbled Slimer, as he carried on into the kitchen.

Garrett smiled wryly. 'Thanks, man.'

He shook the slime from his hair, then made his way into the lounge, where Kylie was just coming up the stairs. She was barefaced and dressed in a sleeveless top, tight leather trousers and a rather dubious blond wig. Garrett stared at her.

'Kylie?' he said, in a moment of realisation. 'Wow. Do you know how different you look without your makeup?'

'I guess I never really thought about it,' said Kylie. 'Why? Do I look okay?'

'Yeah, actually, you look hot.'

'Oh, cut that out,' said Kylie, smiling self-consciously and giving his shoulder a light shove as she walked past him. 'I like yours. Pretty convincing.'

'Braaaaaiiiiins!' Garrett intoned, following Kylie across the room with a glassy-eyed expression.

'So you're a Return of the Living Dead zombie, huh?'

'If you say so – I don't really know. So, um... the walls are really coming down tonight, huh?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well,' Garrett said innocently, 'you know what Halloween's like. You dress up as someone else... you lose your inhibitions... or have you been planning the Buffy costume for months?'

'I must have been,' said Kylie. 'Don't you know how hard it is to find an authentic wooden stake at the last minute?'

'No,' said Garrett, 'but I can see you failed. That one's kinda plastic, isn't it?'

'Yeah, well,' said Kylie, looking down at the unconvincing prop hanging at her hip. 'It's just a costume. Anyway, this is safer than a real one.'

'Safer, huh? Are you planning on playing irresponsibly with it? Afraid of poking Eddie's eye out when you... do whatever it is you're planning to do?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about. He said he might not even come.'

'Oh, Kylie,' said Garrett, laughing. 'He'd sure come if he knew you were dressed like that.'

Kylie frowned at him, but she was soon distracted from her annoyance by the sound of two people coming down the spiral staircase.

'Wow,' said Garrett, and he started laughing again. 'You guys look... ha-ha-ha... you look great!'

'Don't laugh, Garrett,' said Kylie, who was smiling a little herself. 'I'll bet Janine had a hard enough time persuading Egon to dress up in the first place.'

'Not at all, Kylie,' said Egon, slightly adjusting his Abraham Lincoln beard and hat. 'We must all let our hair down every now and then, mustn't we?'

'If we do get called out tonight,' said Garrett, still laughing, 'you have got to come with us, man!'

'Great idea, Garrett,' said Janine, who was dressed as Cleopatra. 'Egon can go, and you can stay here. No one wants to see a zombie coming to save them from demons, but what could be more reassuring in that situation than Buffy and Abraham Lincoln?'

'I can't think of anyone,' Garrett admitted.

There was no sunlight left when Eduardo turned into his street and placed one foot on his metal staircase. This was as far as he had got when his brother appeared.

'I know what you've been doing,' Carl said accusingly.

'Hi, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'What have I been doing?'

'You've been abusing Dad's memory, haven't you?'

'Yeah, obviously – I do that every year.'

'What's it gonna take to make you stop, huh? He wouldn't have wanted it! He hated all that!'

Eduardo scowled, and said, 'He never told me that. Anyway, it's not just for him – it's for me.' He stopped scowling. 'Listen, I'm going again the day after tomorrow. Why don't you come with me?'

'Are you insane?' Carl said darkly.

'Look,' said Eduardo, 'I don't have time for this. I promised Mrs McCluskey I'd supervise the trick-or-treaters for a while.'

'Anti-social hooligans,' muttered Carl.

'And then I wanna try and get to this party later.'

'What party? You don't even like Halloween parties. Last time you went to one, it was because you were chasing some skirt.'

'Yeah, well, I – oh, hey, Kev,' Eduardo said, brightening suddenly as Kevin appeared with fake hair stuck onto his face and hands. 'You sure put some effort into your costume this year, huh?'

'Better than yours,' Kevin said cheerfully.

'I'm a homicidal maniac,' said Eduardo. 'They look just like everybody else. Listen, man, I'm gonna grab a snack and take a quick shower before we go. You can come up and pick out all my best candy if you want.'

'You're gonna take a shower?' Kevin whined, as he followed Eduardo up the staircase, under the disapproving eyes of his father.

'A quick shower,' said Eduardo. 'There's candy by the microwave, or if you're getting too old for that, you can look at the pictures in my calendar.'

Kevin laughed, while Eduardo made his way into the bathroom and started taking off his clothes. He was just about to step into the shower when the door flew open, a bundle of fur flew into the room and Eduardo suddenly found himself wrestling a four-foot werewolf in jacket and jeans. He cried out in alarm, desperately trying to hold off the marauding claws, until at last he was able to get a good grip on the animal and hurl it across the room. It hit the wall and slid whining to the floor. While it was stunned, Eduardo ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door.

'Kevin?' he called anxiously, as he clambered into some fresh clothes.

No answer was forthcoming. There came a scrabbling sound from the bathroom door, and a whiny bark. Eduardo looked frantically around until he saw the October page from his calendar on the floor, ripped to shreds. Then a thought struck him.

'Aw, man,' he said, 'you have got to be kidding me.'

The bathroom door handle started jiggling. Eduardo ran, just as the werewolf burst out of the bathroom. He made it to the front door just in time to slam it in the wolf's face, and lock it with a key from his jacket pocket.

'Kevin, it's me!' Eduardo called, but this only made the barks and bangs coming from the other side of the door even more frantic. Eduardo took a step back, then turned and looked out at the street.

All over the place, adults were running and screaming while wolves howled, vampires bared their fangs, ghosts appeared from thin air and pretty pink fairies flew above everyone's heads. Eduardo stood there for a moment, gaping and motionless. Then suddenly Carl came running up the stairs, shaking a goblin or something off his leg, and demanding, 'What is going on here?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo.

'What do you mean you don't know?' barked Carl. 'It's your job to know, isn't it? Where's Kevin?'

'He's locked in my apartment. He's a werewolf.'

'He's locked in the apartment with a werewolf?'

'No – he is a werewolf! Everyone's turned into their costumes.'

'Why?'

'How should I know?' Eduardo said petulantly. 'I need to get to the firehouse. Egon will know what to do. Hey, man, could I borrow your car?'

Carl glared at Eduardo for a moment, but then he led him calmly down the stairs and opened the garage. At once, two gremlins streaked past them and began ripping the car to shreds.

Carl stared. 'What the –?'

Then suddenly there came a screech of brakes, and Roland was there in his blue Mustang. He leaned over to the passenger side door, flung it open and called, 'Eduardo, get in!'

Eduardo got in, and the car screeched off again.

'Why is this happening, Eduardo?' asked Roland, as he drove cautiously through ghosts and goblins and superheroes and Star Wars characters.

'Why does everyone expect me to know that?' squeaked Eduardo, gazing in horror at the chaos around them.

'It was more of a rhetorical question. I guess this means Garrett and Kylie and Janine turned into something too. I wonder if Egon dressed up.'

'I hope not,' said Eduardo. 'So is that your costume – your jumpsuit?'

'Be grateful that it is,' Roland said gravely, as Eduardo sniggered. 'Why are you bleeding?'

'Bleeding?' Eduardo looked down at himself, and finally located a scratch on his left hand. 'Oh. I guess Kevin must have scratched me.'

'What is he?'

'A werewolf.'

'What? But... but doesn't that mean...?'

'I don't think so,' said Eduardo. 'It's definitely a scratch, not a bite. That's different, right? And we're gonna fix everything anyway, aren't we?'

'I sure hope so,' said Roland. 'Uh-oh – zombies.'

He brought the car to a gentle stop as he suddenly found the road blocked by blank-eyed, pale-skinned people lurching slowly towards them.

'Oh, I know these guys,' said Eduardo. 'They do this every year. It's really starting to get old.'

'But this is terrible!' said Roland. 'Either they're going to start eating people, or people will cut off their heads and stab them through the eyes and stuff!'

'Too bad we can't tell everyone who's still human to barricade their houses,' said Eduardo. 'And have a controlled fire just outside the front door. I mean, everyone should know that, but...'

'I guess we can try that.' Roland felt in his pocket, brought out a cell phone and thrust it at Eduardo. 'Call the local radio station and, well, first see if they'll give you the time of day. I guess they will, with all of this going on.'

'What's the number?' asked Eduardo.

'How should I know? Call four-one-one and ask.'

Eduardo began dialling, then shrieked in alarm as the first ever George Romero zombie began beating at the passenger side window with a rock. Roland revved up the engine, put the car into reverse, knocked over someone's mailbox and then turned off down another street.

'Where are we going now?' asked Eduardo.

'My place,' said Roland. 'I'll try to get to the firehouse from there. Oh, look, there's my sister. I hope she doesn't go too far!'

Eduardo followed his gaze, and saw a witch flying around on a broomstick. He watched as she threw back her head, flew high into the air and let out a terrible cackle.

'Don't worry about it, man,' Eduardo said. 'Witches always go home at the end of the day, right?'

'I sure hope so,' Roland said gravely, as Amy disappeared over the rooftops.

He-Man stood on the street corner, in front of the grandest house in the neighbourhood, holding aloft his magic sword and saying, 'I have the power!' The Mustang turned slowly into the street and wandered past him. Eduardo was just hanging up Roland's cell phone when a little red devil jumped onto the car bonnet and began scrabbling at the windscreen.

'Aah!' Eduardo cried, reeling back in alarm.

'That's Casey,' said Roland.

'Oh. Good costume,' said Eduardo, as the cackling little devil produced an egg from somewhere about his person and smashed it against the glass.

'I don't believe it!' said Roland. 'I made him promise not to bring any eggs!'

'It is trick-or-treating, man,' said Eduardo.

'Right,' said Roland, 'not vandalism-or-treating. Well, I guess there are worse things he could be doing right now. Hopefully no one's in too much danger around here. Now, who else was...?'

As he said this, Lisa and her friend and brother ran into view, wielding their proton guns. Roland stopped the car completely, and watched as the trio trapped a sentient skeleton.

'Oh no!' said Roland. 'I think I know that skeleton, and she's only six!'

'Well,' said Eduardo, 'they only trapped her. She'll just pop right out again when we fix it so their equipment turns back into cheap plastic, right?'

'I sure hope so. Eduardo, we have to fix this, or everyone's just going to destroy each other!'

'So let's hurry up and get to the firehouse. Do you think I should try calling there again?'

'You tried three times,' said Roland. 'Why is no one answering?'

'It was three times in two minutes. Give 'em a chance. I'll try again. Keep driving, man.'

Roland sighed heavily, and kept driving.

Monsters and movie characters were running amok all over town, and more than one building was being scaled by Spiderman. There were a few lone zombies around, but they were staying away from the houses, because people had set fires on their porches.

'I hope no one started a fire and then barricaded themselves in completely,' said Roland.

'Everyone should watch Night of the Living Dead,' said Eduardo. 'It tells you exactly what to do.'

'But don't all the characters die?'

'Only because they can't keep their heads and cooperate.'

'You did tell the radio guy to explain that these are real people, and we're getting everyone back to normal as fast as we can?'

'You know I did, man. You heard me.'

Suddenly, the car came to an abrupt halt as something jumped onto the bonnet and severely dented it. Before Eduardo or Roland could see what it was, it had leapt onto the roof and dented that too. Both men ducked down in alarm as frantic scratching and scraping sounds started above them.

'Start the car!' said Eduardo.

'I can't!' said Roland. 'It must have damaged the engine!'

'Aw, man! Halloween sucks!'

The scratching above them stopped, and the bulk moved to the back of the car, where it started scrabbling at the rear windscreen.

'I don't dare look,' said Roland.

'I'll look, then,' said Eduardo, and he did. Then he turned abruptly to face the front, rigid with terror.

'Eduardo, what is it?' Roland whispered.

'It's a velociraptor!' Eduardo whispered back.

'Oh my gosh! They're dangerous, right?'

'Are you kidding me? They're the most dangerous!'

'What a time for this to happen! Had you even heard of a velociraptor when you were a kid?'

'Of course not, man!' Eduardo squeaked. 'Nobody had! Roland, what're we gonna do?'

The velociraptor moved round to the side of the car, and began butting the rear door with its head.

'Well, you seem to know better than I do,' said Roland. 'How do you get away from a velociraptor?'

'You lure it into the freezer and then lock it in, or you hope a T-rex comes along and eats it.'

'But that's exactly what we don't want! It's just a kid!'

'It's not a kid right now!' said Eduardo, climbing into Roland's lap as the velociraptor appeared at his window and snorted steam onto the glass. 'Why the heck haven't we locked the doors?'

Eduardo reached over with his foot and pushed the lock down.

'We can't stay in here,' said Roland.

'They eat you alive, man!'

'Y'know, there's pretty much zero chance that movie's right about everything – or even anything!'

'Who cares?' Eduardo said shrilly. 'That's a movie velociraptor! Oh, man – where's it going now?'

There was a tense silence as Eduardo slid slowly back onto his side of the car. Then suddenly Roland's door was flung open; the velociraptor thrust its head into the car and screeched. Eduardo screamed, unlocked the door on his side and tumbled out of the car. Then he reached in and tried to drag Roland out after him, but found himself in a tug-of-war with the raptor.

'Kick it in the face, Roland!'

Roland kicked out as violently as he could. The animal was momentarily stunned, and Roland was able to scramble out of the car. Eduardo hauled him to his feet, and they both ran. The raptor leapt onto the car roof from the ground, then leapt off again and tore after them. Eduardo grabbed Roland's wrist and pulled him along at a terrific speed to the first door he saw. It came open easily enough, and then they were standing in an industrial kitchen. Eduardo slammed the door, and both men stood with their backs against it as the velociraptor tried to force its way in.

'We have to contain it,' Eduardo said, straining against the door. 'That thing will kill everyone it sees. Except maybe Superman and people like that.'

'Well,' said Roland, 'you did say something about a freezer before. It's a good thing that door was open. Where are the staff?'

'Maybe they turned into something,' said Eduardo. 'Or something made them leave. How are we gonna do this? We don't wanna put it in the freezer – it's a kid!'

'It could be an adult.'

'An adult dressed as a dinosaur? I don't think so. Whoa,' Eduardo said, as the door inched open and the raptor's hand appeared in the crack. 'Can we lock it in here? The rest of the place probably isn't secure, seeing as they didn't lock this door...'

'I can see the keys,' said Roland. 'They're in the waiters' In door.'

'Oh yeah,' said Eduardo, following Roland's gaze. 'I guess they were in the middle of locking up. That's lucky for us.'

'We'll need all the luck we can get,' said Roland. 'Go and get them. I'll hold off the velociraptor.'

'Are you kidding? You can't hold it by yourself!'

'We have to do something! Go on, Eduardo, now!'

Eduardo hesitated but a moment more. Then he sprang away from the door, and Roland pushed his whole weight against the opening. The velociraptor screeched, and withdrew its fingers from the crack. Then it resumed its incessant buffeting.

'I'm gonna have to lock this door first,' said Eduardo, as he tried the handle of the door marked Out.

'Get on with it, then!' said Roland, sweating and straining.

Eduardo embarked on a very tense search through all the keys, trying them in the door one by one. Roland watched him out of one eye, trying to keep tabs on the raptor at the same time.

'What about the In door?' he asked. 'You did check it was locked?'

'Of course I did,' said Eduardo. 'Okay, that's got it. So... now what?'

'Get behind me,' said Roland. 'We'll let the raptor in, and hope we can get out and lock the door before it follows us.'

'Hope?'

'Yes!'

'Just a second,' said Eduardo, and he began wrenching a cupboard door off its hinges.

'What are you doing?' screeched Roland, as two velociraptor hands curved around the door.

'This has a reflective surface!'

'So?'

Eduardo got the door off with a few hard kicks. He then propped it up against the wall opposite Roland, and took a few seconds to make sure he was happy with the angle.

'Eduardo, come on!' said Roland.

'Okay!' said Eduardo, ducking behind his companion, and at last Roland abandoned his struggle.

The door flew open. The velociraptor came in, looked around and then ran straight at the cupboard door, in which Roland and Eduardo were reflected. They ran outside when the animal was close to its target. As they pulled the door shut, the raptor crashed headfirst into its own reflection.

'Lock it, Eduardo, quick!' cried Roland, tugging frantically at the door handle, which was already being pulled in the other direction.

'Not that one,' Eduardo muttered, as he tried the keys underneath Roland's arm. 'No... no... yes!'

The key turned in the lock. Roland let go of the door handle. His knees and shoulders sagged with exhaustion. Eduardo clapped him on the back, and said, 'Great work, man. You okay?'

'Yeah,' Roland panted, standing up straight. 'Good call on the mirror thing, Eduardo. It probably saved our lives. I thought velociraptors were supposed to be too smart for something like that.'

Eduardo shrugged. 'It worked in the movie. But I don't think they'd fall for it twice.'

'Then let's be glad it worked once. So what do we do now – try to hail a cab?'

'I bet no one's bothering to still drive their cab with all this going on. There were abandoned cars all over the street, remember? And I bet some of them still have the keys in the ignition.'

'Eduardo!' said Roland.

'What?' said Eduardo. 'This is clearly an emergency, man.'