This is dedicated to MJ (BellLupin22)! They gave me the ship Memori with the prompt theft. I had so much fun writing this drabble, so thank you very much! I hope you don't mind that I made it a little (or a lot) silly.

And, yes, I realize that there are most likely no chocolate bars on the Ark (unless they're hundreds of years old).

And, yes, I also know how ridiculously out of character Murphy and Emori are... I just couldn't help myself and amplified some of my favourite traits of theirs.

A Criminal Like Me

Murphy's stomach growled.

He was so hungry.

He was so sick of eating algae and drinking water for the last several months. He never wanted to even see the colour green again. He would throw up if he smelt a leaf again. He wanted some real food.

All he had to say was thank the gods that Jaha had a secret sweet tooth and had several candy bars stashed away in the safe in his office. That man never did anything right in his life – other than keep a stash of some goodies on the Ark.

How did Murphy discover this in the first place? Let's just say, he didn't break into the safe for candy. It was just a happy coincidence.

He excused himself from their "family dinner" that they had every night – at Raven's insistence – and rushed back to his room. If he had to take another bite of some crappy algae salad, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions that followed. He practically ran away from the dinning hall and booked it towards the residence rooms.

Murphy slipped into his and Emori's room and dove for the safe under the bed. He was already dreaming of the milk chocolate melting on his tongue. Murphy began twisting the lock rapidly, his stomach growling once again. He was almost drooling when he thought of the crunch of the wafer between his teeth. The lock clicked and the door swung open.

"What the hell?"

The safe was empty.

Murphy frowned and tried to recall if he did already eat the chocolate bar. He already ate the first two last week, but he could've sworn he saved one for this week. Did he eat it? No, he didn't – unless he did so in his sleep. Was sleep eating a thing? He didn't think he ever sleep talked, never mind sleep ate.

In desperation, Murphy shifted some of the items around, begging for the chocolate bar to roll into his hands.

It never did.

"Fuuuuu-"

"Looking for something?" Murphy jumped and spun to face the girl that spoke. His eyes locked with Emori's narrowed ones. In her hands, sat his prized chocolate. "Hmm?" She waved it in front of his face. Seeing her expression, he instantly tried to backtrack.

"I- I- I-"

"So you thought I wouldn't find this?" Murphy chose not to respond. He stared blankly at her. If in doubt, say nothing. "We share a room, idiot!" Emori glared harder at him and wrapped her fingers around the bar. Murphy winced. He wanted to kindly ask her to not grip so hard, for the safety and integrity of the chocolate, but he thought those might be the wrong words. "I can't believe you were going to eat this without me!"

"I was going to share," Murphy protested weakly. Emori chuckled.

"Right," she drawled, her hand on her hip. "And that's why you were coming here while I was busy with the others, huh? Because you were planning on sharing it with me."

"Hey! I was going to share!" Murphy insisted. "What do you think I am, a criminal or something?" The words left his mouth before he could think about what he said.

"Yes!" Her answer came with no hesitation. It was Murphy's turn to mock glare.

"Then you're a criminal, too," he pointed out. "You stole them from me!" She shrugged, completely unfazed.

"I'm getting sick of Monty's never ending algae supply too, but we knew what we were getting into when we came up here."

"Yeah, knock-off salad and filtered pee. Awesome," he said sarcastically. Emori chuckled and dropped to her knees in front of him. She brushed her lips against his for a soft kiss, a smile gracing her lips. His hand trailed to hers, his thumb brushing against her knuckles.

"I love you, John," she murmured against his lips. Murphy pulled away and cracked a smile.

"I love you, too, Emori." He leaned forward to capture her lips in another kiss.

"Hey!" she cried as she felt the chocolate get snatched from her hands. "Thief." She pouted and crossed her arms. Murphy let out a hearty laugh and sent her a wink.

"What would you expect from a criminal like me?"