Disclaimer: Own nothing
Warning: Spoilers. Also, -A's possible identity.
Summary: Safety was something that was underrated. All five of the Liars could tell you that. That's why Spencer knew why Alison chose Emily. She knew. Emily was the safe choice. Takes place ten after the series. The girls all have jobs and have moved to Philadelphia.
Safe:
Spencer Hastings felt the burning brown liquid slush down her throat for the fifth time that evening. Tearing the small glass from her lips, she lowered her right silver ring adorned hand garnished with blue jewels down to the deep green marble table, pushing the glass away next to the other two, the inside of the glasses all stained with traces of bourbon.
She glanced at the undressing golden-haired woman of at least twenty-six. Watching those silk shirts drop away to the floor, revealing those perfect full tan breasts, Spencer felt her throat go dry, though she thought maybe that was due to the alcohol. This woman wasn't Alison. She knew that. Even with her brilliant mind all buzzed up on the bourbon, she knew that.
Still, pretending was a pleasure. Maybe Alison was onto something when it came to using a "really good lie."
She held back the bark of a laugh. Melissa, her older sister would blow a gasket if she knew how nearly wasted her sister was right now over Alison. Melissa had taken a job at the first firm Spencer had ever obtained. Melissa had minced words about it, but Spencer knew why her older sibling was there. Melissa was always trying to look after Spencer, no matter what the circumstances.
She supposed Melissa wouldn't be too pleased if she knew what this woman in her room did for a living.
Spencer Hastings; once a resident of Rosewood, and daughter to wealthy, ruthless businessman, Peter Hastings and firm lawyer Veronica Hastings, current owner of three different law firms was fully aware of this blonde-haired woman's occupation. Her name….Elena, was it? Maybe Helen. Something like that. Honestly, the moment Spencer had laid eyes on the woman across the street at a coffeehouse, she hadn't cared. Seeing someone who was as close as she could tell to being Alison's double made all caution and ability to care about names out the window. This could be an older Cece, Alison's dearest friend that she was sleeping with and it wouldn't matter.
But Spencer realized that that was what probably made her the "unsafe" member of her group. People could criticize Alison all they wanted about how much of a bully she was, but in the end, Alison was honest about what she was. She admitted how much of a bad person she had been before returning to Rosewood after a year of being presumed dead and then two years of being confirmed dead. Spencer hid how ruthless she was. And how unhinged she could become.
Alison wasn't the untrustworthy member of the group. She knew that now.
Safety was an underrated pleasure. That thrill people got from danger was a luxury most people couldn't afford. Not anyone who knew –A anyway. People who jumped out of airplanes with parachutes on their backs, bungee chord jumpers, surfers, they wouldn't be quite so enthusiastic to spend hundreds of dollars on going up in those airplanes be inches from death if they knew that all they had to do was piss off the right person and their lives would be on the line in a heartbeat. Cars possibly running them over, blackmail constantly, fires, hormone altering cream, cars crashing into houses. Really a ride.
Even after ten years and all five young women moving to Philadelphia; Aria becoming an author and more often than not a photographer, Hanna a fashion critic, Spencer the owner of law firms, Emily a teacher to young children-training them how to swim so that if they fell in pools they wouldn't just drown, and Alison the counselor of several youth programs; trying to help turn the lives of bullies and thugs around (as she had such an experience of creating such thugs like how Paige and Mona used to be) things weren't completely normal for them-safety sometimes felt like a myth for them, even today.
It was almost ten years to the day when –A/Mona and "Big –A"/Wren had been put away for life. Still, even nowadays, when there would be a mass text sent to the whole group of girls, now women, all five of them would tense. Even though it was much safer than ten years ago, none of them trusted those windows to hold on their own and so would add locks. Excessive locks. Even with their well-established jobs and families, it was hard for them not to be paranoid. Even though all the perpetrators were locked behind bars, every time one of them would see someone with a black hoodie, (with the damn hood up) none of the five of them would be able to stop staring at the individual in question until the figure would leave.
As Hanna had once grumbled at one of their lunch meet ups, "Remember the good old days when a hoodie was just a hoodie?"
It was hard for all of them to feel safe again. One of their famous stories was when Caleb had taken his and Hanna's children to the park and a guy with a black hoodie was nearby, making the once hacker tense up immediately. Hoodie guy had leaned over to get a drink from a water fountain and when Caleb and Hanna's younger son, Tom had kicked his soccer ball over the fence to where the man stood, the man in kind threw it back and waved at little Tom, that had been the last straw for the overprotective Caleb. The dark haired man stood up and confronted the hoodie guy, ready to throw a punch.
From the sounds of it, the guy had been so spooked by Caleb that he ran and never looked back.
Hanna had chewed Caleb out, but the moment he told her the man had been wearing a black hoodie, she seemed to understand. Black hoodies made everyone in their households uneasy. Black hoodies for all of them, were symbols of terror. Something to remind them of how just unsafe they all were once.
Safety was a pleasure they rarely had. Ten years and they couldn't feel safe enough sometimes.
Spencer had to wonder….every now and then of course, not all the time, if that was why Alison made the choice she did. Was she staying with the woman she loved or did she just want safety? Security?
Security was a bit of questionable word. Security often meant financial issues. But not always. At least, not in this case. Security here was too deeply related to safety. If Alison wanted security alone she would have ended up with Spencer. After all, Spencer was the owner of three different companies. But the youngest Hastings child knew better. Money had nothing to do with it. Or at least less to do with it than the feeling of safety.
What Alison had found in Emily was a stable mate.
Alison's choice had nearly destroyed Spencer. Nearly. After some near mental breakdowns, the answer had come swiftly to her. That was the reason why. How easily unraveled Spencer could become.
She knew now that mental instability had always been a part of her life in some way. It had only been truly obvious twice. When Alison had first gone missing and when Spencer had seen Toby's tattoo when she saw an unconscious figure with a helmet on. Alison had been gone almost three years and Emily had never gone through a breakdown like that.
Spencer wasn't safe. She wasn't emotionally or mentally reliable. Emily was. Emily might have been vulnerable and open and quicker to temper than people realized, but she was safe.
Where had Spencer been when Alison visited? Spencer had been taking pills and sleeping on the couch. The second time? When Spencer was in Radley, going through a mental breakdown. Both times, Spencer was more of a danger to herself than even -A was. What had Alison saved Emily from? Gas. Being killed from suffocation. That and a buzz saw at the mill and fire.
Spencer was a danger. Her mental problems could be a testament to that. Emily had only needed to be rescued due to external dangers, not because the swimmer had been a danger to herself.
So there. There was the reason. Emily was water. She was safe. She was a safe element to love. Water provided quenching from thirst, saved lives that way. Spencer was fire. As dangerous as Alison herself. Fire heated but it mostly destroyed. Consuming whatever she thought benefited her. Passion embodied when a challenge came along.
And prone to become brittle when the challenge exploded.
Spencer was not a safe person to be in a relationship. She understood that that was what Alison had deduced. Given both her visits to Spencer had involved some kind of mental problem or a breakdown. Emily was safe.
And lord knows, safety was in short supply for all five of them. Safety was a great thing they appreciated. Spencer imagined Alison was enjoying the safety immensely.
Not that she doubted Alison denied having feelings for Spencer as well as Emily. She even felt regret for the pain she had caused Spencer. The brunette recalled the sadness and remorse in those clear bright blue eyes as Alison walked right into Emily's arms after Wren and Mona were arrested. She recalled Emily holding Alison close, chin over the blonde's head as the swimmer stroked the other girl's hair. Alison knew what her feelings for both Spencer and Emily were. She knew they both had feelings for her too. But she made her choice anyway. She loved all four of them. Her and Emily, and the two that she wasn't in love with as well, Hanna and Aria. She loved them much more than people thought.
But she had to look after herself too.
It had once been a game for Alison, what felt like ages ago, to turn the four girls against each other. But time and life or death situations and being forced to disappear had helped her mature a bit. This was no game to her now. Alison didn't choose Emily to scorn Spencer or to make the brunette resent Emily. And Spencer didn't hate Emily. Or resent her. She tried to once, but she knew that that would be impossible. They had been through too much for that.
In all fairness, Alison was doing pretty good for herself. Her marriage, her job and the eventual adoption of four beautiful little girls that needed a home. Spencer had written down on the packet of paper on her desk at her office that she eventually needed to visit her little nieces. She had met Kara and Olivia already. The newest girls, Jenna and Courtney were still getting used to their new home.
Yes, Alison and Emily had the "whole nine yards." Both secure jobs, a good home and marriage, four sweet children, had even adopted two dogs; two black labs, Max and Patrick. Spencer had a photograph of Alison hugging both dogs, one of her arm over each dog, the dogs on opposite sides of her. Spencer would never say it, but she kept those pictures of Alison close, trying not to be disgusted with herself of how much like -A she was behaving.
Alison felt plenty secure now, Spencer imagined. Perhaps if Alison had chosen her instead, maybe the blonde wouldn't feel as secure. If Alison had chosen her, would Emily be doing this now? Would Emily have hired a beautiful woman who looked so similar to their darling Alison?
No, Spencer knew. Even as she fixed her lips around a hardened pink nipple of the woman straddling her lap who had told her it was fine to call her "Alison" for the night, Spencer knew. Even as she glided her left hand along the woman's bare back, imagining she was cradling Alison in her arms, she knew the answer already. No, Emily would not.
Maybe Emily would still pine but she would never do this.
Because Emily, as Spencer and the others had learned years ago, was not the weak link. Spencer was.
Okay, I know it's up in the air whether or not Wren is -A but I really am suspicious of him. Why does he keep popping up all over the place?! And more importantly, why aren't there more Spalison fics out there?