Title: Finding a way

Author: xredSunburstx/ .alive

Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/ Maura Isles

Rating: NC-17/M (maybe for later chapters)

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. No infringement intended. Also, I don't use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:. It should be only one night, they promised, but it is harder to not think and never talk about it than both of them thought and neither one of them wants to break their promise in fear to destroy something wonderful they shared. During a hard case they realize that one night is sometimes meant to be forever, if they let it happen. Maura/Jane

Chapter 1 – I need you

They sat there in silence, neither one of them saying something, because they knew there was nothing to say.

Both of them clung to the drink in front like it was their only chance to survive the night and not get pulled under the surface. They knew if that would be the case – they might never get to see the light again.

Jane was the first to speak up, though her voice sounded deeper as usual and desperate like never before.

"I feel like I'll never be happy again, like a ark something captured me and it won't let me go again -" She sighed and Maura thought for a moment that she would start to crumble in front of her, revealing the weak part of Jane Rizzoli – something that meant a lot… because Jane would never allow herself to do that with anyone else. But instead she only closed her eyes and went on. "It is completely stupid to say something like that, because maybe I just need a beer or two and a bunch of nightmare – less sleep to feel better tomorrow…. God damn it… I'm a cop, Maura. I should be used to this and that's what scares me to death…. I knew that one day, when I became a cop, that nothing would make sense to me anymore… And today it feels like the day has finally come… because… nothing makes sense to me… not anymore…"

Jane tried to look up into her own hazel brown safety house. Tears welled up in her eyes, but looking into Maura's made it somehow better… bearable. She did not understand why, but all of Maura, every single part, comforted her, helped her through horrible days… Maura was the one that made her feel complete and better.

Jane smiled at the thought of Maura being her safe house, even though the sadness was printed down in her eyes, as she opened her mouth to let truthful and exposing words sneak out.

"You are the only thing that makes sense to me, Maura."

Suddenly she felt he blond hands on hers, stroking the soft skin beneath her fingers and her ugly scars like there was no difference between the softness and the feeling of the deep scars. And within seconds she felt herself calming down, at least a little bit.

"And I will be there after days like that, Jane. Always."

Both of them smiled the best they could manage, at the thought that what they really needed after days like that were… each other.

…

After 72 hours of chasing down a sick serial killer Jane stood in Maura's office, her arms defensively in front of her chest, and an expression on her face that was unbearable for the blond to look at. Jane looked like she were lost and her friend was the only one who were able to find her again.

Maura was thankful she appeared, because it has been terrible days for every single one of them and though she didn't want to give up her strong and cool attitude, because she wanted to be strong for both of them, and even though she wasn't exposing herself the way Jane did now in front of her, her desperation clearly visible, she wanted and needed the same. She needed Jane just the same way Jane needed her.

"Could…" Jane stopped in the middle, trying to compose herself before asking her best friend. She fought an inner battle before coming down, because she hated to sound so weak and needy, but she just couldn't let it go… she couldn't help herself… She needed Maura… all of her.

She coughed, avoiding Maura's gaze for a moment, before looking up. Again.

"Could you come with…"

Maura walked up to her, minimizing the distance between them. She knew how her best friend hated it to ask someone for help so she wanted to make it easier… for both of them.

She did not want to ask Jane either if it was okay if she came along with her. Now she was simply glad and thankful for the unspoken offer between them.

She shushed the beautiful brown haired woman by touching her cheeks with her slender fingers, forcing her to look up-

When her eyes met Maura's she felt an unknown tingle in her body and a shy, but very sure smile, crept onto her features.

"Let's go home." She simply said and she meant every word of it…. Somehow Jane's flat felt like home for her, sometimes even more than her own did. There was something essential missing in her expensive and large home… and that was… Jane.

Now, just 2 hours after they left the department they sat there, neither of them able to form words to start a proper conversation.

The only thing they were doing, Maura realized, were holding hands and… looking at each other, like nothing else in the world mattered anymore.

She felt as of there was something else hanging in the air between them… something else than sadness, tiredness and desperation….

There was something else hanging in the air… something greater…. An unspoken desire, a longing for more, more comfort…

She could see it form in Jane' eyes before she was able to feel it creep up and capture her body and her senses… it was overwhelming… capturing her whole being.

The air, the whole atmosphere heated up within seconds and made it hard to breath. But Maura couldn't care less. Her heart started to pound furiously in her chest when she felt Jane moving unbearable nearer.

It happened when they shared the same air and she felt Jane's hot breath on her mouth and her desire to kiss her best friend rose up and she realized that if she was following her needs and her desires that she would cross a burden and everything… everything wonderful that has been… would change and maybe fade away forever.

Her mind started to function again, but is amazing and scaring… intoxicating feeling had captured her whole body and pulled her deeper. She could not move and part of her did not want to.

She licked her lips, trying to compose herself.

"Jane… Please" She begged, but Jane would not stop to look at her lips.

"Jane… we can't." Now, finally, she had her attention, but she paid a price…

Jane looked so hurt and vulnerable, but also desperate as before.

"We can't do that, Jane…" She repeated and looked sorry, moving her hands to Jane's cheek to comfort her while saying it.

But instead of keeping Jane away from her and making her understand that it was impossible for them to happen, she drew her even closer.

"Jane… we can't... because we would not be able to go back…" her voice almost sounded tearful… but why?... she couldn't be sad about the fact that this… between her and Jane… wasn't happening.

Jane closed her eyes, moving her head a little bit so she was able to touch Maura's hand, which was still on her cheek, with her waiting lips.

"We could…" Jane whispered, lost in the anticipation she felt when she was kissing one part of Maura… and even if it was her hand. She opened her eyes when she heard the smaller woman sight, hardly audible and maybe it was only an imagination… but her hazel eyes told her… it was not. It wasn't something she imagined… this thing between them… whatever it was… Maura wanted it, too. Maybe as much as her, but Jane was tired of fighting it. Tonight she wanted to let it go, she wanted to feel her like never before. She needed it… she needed Maura.

"Please… it can be one single night…only one night… we can forget about it tomorrow, we'll never have to talk about it and it won't change anything between us. We both can go back in time… But I need you tonight… I need to feel you, Maura… and I know you need me, too…"

Author's Note:

I'll wait for you telling me… what do you want… you want me to keep going? Absolutely looking forward to what you've got to say!

And besides that… happy and merry Christmas to all of you. Let the love spread through the world… today… tomorrow… and take the love you feel on this special occasion and holiday into the next year. Let love be part of your life every single day.

Take care and all the best

-Sun