A Simple Kind of Life
Author: Janet webmaster@fuzzypinkslippers.com
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor will I ever own them.
Author's Note: I would appreciate any KIND comments and criticism that you might have. If you're going to be rude, though.then don't even bother!
"Do you ever have a day when you just realize that your life totally sucks?" Francie asked as she poured her cereal and milk into the blue stone bowl sitting on the counter in front of her.
Oh, I longed to tell her that I never forget how much my life sucks. I wanted to tell her that in my line of work, you die when you reach simplicity. Complication and suckiness are the only ways to live your life as a spy. Of course, just mentioning that I'm a spy, though it might simplify my life, would be likely to end her life. I would also have to explain why I'd been lying all along, and quite frankly, I'm not really in the mood right now.
I'm just in the mood to sit here in my pajamas on the couch and flip through the channels on the TV. I'm totally content to sit here with my arms wrapped around my knees, holding them in place, and just spend every minute of my day like this. I think this is what most normal people might call depression. This is what I call life.
Of course, I'd really like to have a simple life. You know the kind of life that most women my age have. The kind where you either are dating or you're engaged or you're already married. The kind of life where your father isn't a mole working for the CIA. The kind of life where I wouldn't be a double agent either. I would love to have a life where I actually had a mother, or at least a mother who wasn't the Devil in carnet. I would love to be honest with all of my friends, but I know that that will never happen.
Honestly, I'd like to kiss Vaughn on the lips at least once in my life. He's always been so kind and generous. He's shown me what a good mother can do for a person. He's shown me what a bad mother can do also. Some days I wonder what he would be like if my mother hadn't killed his father. I wonder if he would've been in the CIA or if I would've ever become a spy for either CIA or SD-6.
I would love to be normal for a day.honestly, I would. I would love to not feel guilty that one of my own best friends has been sucked into this life. I would love to know that those CIA agents in Germany were still alive, and that there children would have fathers.
These are all the things that I can't have, or that I won't have, at least until SD-6 is taken down. Even then, I don't know if the CIA will even just "let me go" since I know so much. And what will they do with Will? He knows too much, too. I hope that he can have a normalized life again, and maybe there is some kind of special training program that I can go through to have a normal life again as well.
"Syd, are you okay?" Francie asked as she noticed that I had been incredibly silent. Her look of concern really bugged me, yet lightened my heart at the same time. It bugged me that I couldn't be honest, but I felt so good just knowing that she cared. I guess that friendship is the true key to a simple kind of life.
Author: Janet webmaster@fuzzypinkslippers.com
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor will I ever own them.
Author's Note: I would appreciate any KIND comments and criticism that you might have. If you're going to be rude, though.then don't even bother!
"Do you ever have a day when you just realize that your life totally sucks?" Francie asked as she poured her cereal and milk into the blue stone bowl sitting on the counter in front of her.
Oh, I longed to tell her that I never forget how much my life sucks. I wanted to tell her that in my line of work, you die when you reach simplicity. Complication and suckiness are the only ways to live your life as a spy. Of course, just mentioning that I'm a spy, though it might simplify my life, would be likely to end her life. I would also have to explain why I'd been lying all along, and quite frankly, I'm not really in the mood right now.
I'm just in the mood to sit here in my pajamas on the couch and flip through the channels on the TV. I'm totally content to sit here with my arms wrapped around my knees, holding them in place, and just spend every minute of my day like this. I think this is what most normal people might call depression. This is what I call life.
Of course, I'd really like to have a simple life. You know the kind of life that most women my age have. The kind where you either are dating or you're engaged or you're already married. The kind of life where your father isn't a mole working for the CIA. The kind of life where I wouldn't be a double agent either. I would love to have a life where I actually had a mother, or at least a mother who wasn't the Devil in carnet. I would love to be honest with all of my friends, but I know that that will never happen.
Honestly, I'd like to kiss Vaughn on the lips at least once in my life. He's always been so kind and generous. He's shown me what a good mother can do for a person. He's shown me what a bad mother can do also. Some days I wonder what he would be like if my mother hadn't killed his father. I wonder if he would've been in the CIA or if I would've ever become a spy for either CIA or SD-6.
I would love to be normal for a day.honestly, I would. I would love to not feel guilty that one of my own best friends has been sucked into this life. I would love to know that those CIA agents in Germany were still alive, and that there children would have fathers.
These are all the things that I can't have, or that I won't have, at least until SD-6 is taken down. Even then, I don't know if the CIA will even just "let me go" since I know so much. And what will they do with Will? He knows too much, too. I hope that he can have a normalized life again, and maybe there is some kind of special training program that I can go through to have a normal life again as well.
"Syd, are you okay?" Francie asked as she noticed that I had been incredibly silent. Her look of concern really bugged me, yet lightened my heart at the same time. It bugged me that I couldn't be honest, but I felt so good just knowing that she cared. I guess that friendship is the true key to a simple kind of life.