Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Brendan only wants one thing for Christmas. One-shot.

Mistletoe

Christmas Eve. Brendan despised it. When he was a kid, it had always brought a sense of excitement, of anticipation. When the boys had been young he had revelled in their joy. It was the only time of year when he felt normal; like an ordinary family man should. Once the boys grew up however Brendan began to treat it like any other time of year. He recalled one Christmas Eve several years back, before Macca, when he had told Eileen that he was going out for last minute stuffing and instead he had gone to a bar and attempted to pick a bloke up, had felt revolted at himself, and left.

It wasn't exactly his style; he preferred to seduce men slowly, draw them under his spell. It worked for the most part, until they expected more. When he had moved to Hollyoaks Brendan had promised himself that it would be different. He wouldn't have another Macca; someone who saw more in Brendan and as a result wanted more from him. He didn't exactly want someone like Vinnie either; the lad had been too naïve. Stephen had seemed perfect. He wasn't the brightest spark in the universe but he knew the score; had been through as much as Brendan himself had. He hadn't realised that it would connect them somehow; that it would make them inevitably keep finding each other.

Except now they were apart and Brendan hated it. He hated it more because it was Christmas and say what he wanted about the holiday, it still had a certain nostalgia to it that Brendan wanted to endorse. Or perhaps it was simpler than that. Perhaps Brendan was lonely and he wanted the company. But that wasn't it either, was it? Because how easy it would be to locate an old lover, to get what he wanted and then discard them once more. Brendan didn't want that, he wanted Stephen.

They hadn't said much to each other for the past few weeks. Everything with Warren had distracted Brendan enough that he simply couldn't deal with Stephen right now. That didn't mean he wasn't keeping an eye on him. He was always aware, always watching.

It was one such evening, Christmas Eve, that Brendan found himself watching more than usual. For some unfathomable reason Cheryl had decided to give their best barman the night off and instead of going elsewhere for a night out, Stephen had decided to spend the evening at Chez Chez. It wasn't as though Brendan didn't enjoy seeing Stephen dress himself up nice, do his hair properly. It was that other men were noticing him, appreciating him. It made Brendan's skin crawl to think of any of these men touching him. He was his. That was it. Except he wasn't, not anymore.

Stephen seemed to be purposefully avoiding him. As Brendan watched from behind the bar he noticed a man approach Stephen and begin speaking to him, their heads bent close together. The man was older, probably late twenties, tall build, sandy hair. Brendan disliked him more than words could say. He kept grinning. Brendan found it entirely off-putting and wondered why Stephen wasn't thinking the same.

Brendan wanted to know what they were saying so he edged closer. He could only pick up snippets of conversation, mainly inane chatter. Stephen was talking too much, as usual. The guy was interested though; he couldn't stop staring at Stephen's mouth. Brendan found himself irrationally deciding that Stephen's mouth was his and he ought to go claim it, tell the guy to fuck off. Of course he didn't. His own self-perseverance prevented him from it.

An opportunity arose to put a stop to it however when Stephen excused himself to go to the toilet. They had just arranged to hit another club, as Brendan overheard. He couldn't believe that Stephen would give in this easily, would leave with a complete stranger he knew next to nothing about. What was he thinking?

Brendan strode forward, his hands deeply rooted in his pockets. He leant on the bar in front of the guy, who looked perplexed but amused. He grinned at Brendan. He wasn't even that attractive, not really. Not good enough for Stephen anyway.

"Can I help you, mate?" He asked. He wasn't from around here.

Brendan coughed, devising a plan swiftly in his head. "Word to the wise. That guy ye were talking to" Brendan nodded in the direction of the toilets. "Has a very possessive boyfriend, total head case" Brendan winced at the irony of the words but hid it well, keeping up appearances.

"Really?" The guy took the bait; hook, line and sinker.

Brendan nodded. "I'd get out while ye can"

The guy deliberated for a moment before he sighed. "Alright. Thanks, mate" he stood up, pausing to turn back to Brendan. "Lucky bastard though, whoever has him"

Brendan was stunned; he could barely mutter a reply. "Yeah, guess so"

The guy smiled, shrugged and left.

Brendan barely had the chance to turn around when he heard a voice behind him.

"What are you doing?"

Brendan braced himself, turning to face Stephen. "Loitering. It's my bar, isn't it?"

"No" Stephen said. "Well, yes. But I mean you were talking to Toby"

"Toby" Brendan repeated derisively. "I wasn't"

"I saw you!"

Brendan shrugged, unmoved.

Stephen sighed. "I'm going after him" he moved away but Brendan grabbed his arm without thinking.

"No, don't"

Stephen grinned a little sadly. "What did you say to him? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Brendan blinked, unable to answer that question. He quickly recovered. "Ye barely know the guy, Stephen. Ye shouldn't be going off with a stranger"

Stephen rolled his eyes. "It's none of your business though, is it?"

Brendan stared at him intently. "Isn't it?"

"No. You blew your chance, deal with it" Stephen shoved his way out of the crowd before Brendan could pull him back.

With a long-suffering sigh, he followed.

xxx

"Stephen!" Brendan called, pushing past people queuing to get in.

"Leave me alone!"

"Just hear me out"

"I'm sick of hearing you out"

Brendan caught up to him easily, grasping his arm. "Please, Stephen"

"Please what?" Stephen turned to glare at him, his eyes flashing. It seemed ridiculous; the village was done up to the nines in Christmas decorations and the soft red light was illuminating Stephen's face, making him glow. He was glowing in every sense of the word.

"It's Christmas" Brendan said lamely. "Be generous"

Stephen laughed but it wasn't bitter. He was smiling; Brendan couldn't help smiling too.

"That's just…you are just…" Stephen trailed off, wiping his eyes. He turned serious for a moment. "What do you want? Really?"

"You" Brendan said automatically, surprising himself. Stephen looked surprised too.

"You have a funny way of showing it"

"Things have been…crazy" Brendan admitted. "But how I feel, that hasn't changed"

Stephen bowed his head in frustration. "We're going round in circles, Bren. I can't keep loving you and giving you chances for you to snatch it all away again"

"I know, I get that" Brendan said, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm just asking ye…" Brendan didn't even know what he was asking. "I just, it's Christmas, the time of year when ye get what ye want, right?"

"And that's me is it?" Stephen snorted.

"Ye don't want that too?" Brendan asked sceptically. Stephen looked guilty, unable to look Brendan in the eye. "Thought so" he murmured.

"It doesn't mean anything" Stephen said tersely. "You've hurt me too many times, Brendan. Every time I think it'll be different…"

"I screw up, I know" Brendan sighed. "I'm…a mess. Ye deserve better" the realisation hit Brendan like a tonne of bricks. "What am I even doing?" he said to himself, turning away.

"Bren, wait-" Stephen froze as he stepped forwards. He was looking to the sky. Brendan found his eyes travelling up there too. "Mistletoe" Stephen breathed, his cheeks reddening.

"Don't believe in that, do ye?"

Stephen shrugged, looking awkward. "I guess I do. Tradition, isn't it?"

Brendan raised his eyebrows. "Are ye asking for a kiss?"

Stephen blushed again. "I guess for old time's sake, maybe-"

Brendan didn't need telling twice. Oblivious to their surroundings he grabbed Stephen, pulling him towards him for a kiss. It wasn't any kiss; Brendan felt something burst inside of him. He couldn't place it. It was desire mixed with joy, and what Brendan thought was relief. For one moment he had him back. Brendan wasn't sure he had the strength to believe it was enough.

"Brendan" Stephen panted. "We shouldn't, I mean…" Stephen kissed him this time, hard. He moaned against his mouth. "We can talk about this-"

"Talking is good" Brendan agreed, kissing him again. "At mine?"

"Sure" Stephen said, sounding light-headed. "Why not?"

It was a miracle they even made it home. Brendan felt uninhibited in the darkness of the night, or perhaps he was finally learning that it didn't matter. He had Stephen back to his in no time at all and splayed on top of his bed, willing and inviting. Brendan couldn't stop kissing him throughout, any amount of skin he could find he kissed, his mouth almost sore by the end of it. He just wanted to taste him in every conceivable way. For the first time in a long while, Brendan felt more than a dull ache, he felt alive in a way only Stephen could make him feel.

Afterwards they lay in bed, Brendan's arm around Stephen's shoulders. Stephen's head rested on Brendan's bare chest, his eyes closed.

"I can't stay. The kids…"

"Shh, two more minutes" They lay in silence for a while. Brendan wanted to relish the moment in case it was snatched away from him as it always seemed to be. "I bought ye something" Brendan reached into his drawer, pulling out a badly wrapped present. Stephen eyed it warily.

"Thank you, I think…"

Inside was a pewter silver watch, beautiful craftsmanship. Brendan knew that Stephen didn't own anything this expensive. He ran his fingers over it reverently, hardly able to speak.

"Brendan…it's gorgeous"

Brendan shrugged. "It's nothing"

Stephen put it on carefully. "I'll never be late for work again" he joked.

"Good. Too long without ye…" Brendan trailed off.

"I didn't get you anything" Stephen said regretfully.

"Yeah ye did" Brendan said softly. He stared at Stephen, his expression warm. Comprehension dawned on Stephen's face.

"Oh" he said simply. "Well alright then"

"And a happy Christmas to ye too" Brendan teased, his voice low.

Stephen laughed; a rare, generous laugh. "Sorry. You too, Bren. You too"