Author's Notes: NC-17 for later chapter(s). AU. TRANSLATIONS ARE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER.

Beta: LJ's kita_the_spaz

For the following: LJ- kakairu_kink (request: foreign language kink); 52_flavours (prompt: 34- Duong jai); and dancingjadedrag (prompt: Doctor Hatake).

Summary: A tale of doctors, languages, eye-patches and two very silly men.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto franchise or any characters or events that align with those of the series, and do not claim to do so. I also do not claim to own any copyrighted items, any items not copyrighted but still owned by another party, any real locations I may mention, or crossed-over characters I may incorporate. I do own this story, the plot, and any original characters or locations I create.

Without further ado, I present to you, "Duong Jai."

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Chapter One: Joli Docteur

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His steps brisk and to the point, one Doctor Kakashi Hatake made his way through the clean halls of Konoha Heart toward the ER. He was not one for small talk, nor was he one to act as though he paid much attention to those around him, so he nimbly avoided being stopped by several familiar faces. Besides, he had somewhere he needed to be, and that place was with one Iruka Umino.

Now, Iruka did not know about this arrangement, but no matter. Little things like Umino knowing that Kakashi was infatuated with him, and that Kakashi would do anything to get into his pants—perhaps scrubs if the opportunity presented itself—were just that: little things. Kakashi paid them no mind. It was all part of his master plan: find ways in which he could spend time with the brunet doctor; enjoy his purely platonic company; become friends with his friends (which was not that hard, as they had many friends who were mutual friends of friends); hang out with Iruka; enjoy his (unfortunately) purely platonic company some more; become jealous when the brunet was in a relationship; be there for Iruka when said relationship went down the drain; and finally, more platonic stuff, all the while thinking about all the other ways in which Kakashi could enjoy Iruka.

See? Was that not a perfect plan?

Okay. So it perhaps—perhaps—was not the best-laid of plans. But it would do, for now and for the next... well, until Kakashi managed to snake his way out of this crush and displace it onto someone else. Not that Kakashi wanted to. Iruka was absolutely wonderful in every single way a lover should be wonderful, yet beautiful imperfections riddled every facet of the brunet. (Oh, how those imperfections turned him on!) For example, Iruka spoke with a firm resolution (turn on, much!), which translated into stubbornness, which translated into an infamously terrifying temper that Kakashi was once too many the direct cause of. Then, after a tantrum of epic proportions, a blush flooded the brunet's face. He would reach up, scratch a faded scar that crossed his nose, and apologize sweetly.

But enough of that nonsense. Kakashi was an observer, and a happy one at that.

"Doctor Hatake, get over here this instant."

Ah, the voice of an angel... an angry angel, but an angel nonetheless.

"Hatake. Now."

"Myah, Iruka. I'm here, I'm here. The elevator trip took longer than I expected."

Iruka sucked in a lungful of breath; a visible attempt to keep his anger under control. Kakashi knew the brunet hated to appear unprofessional, but there was that flare in Iruka's eyes that promised for a later reprimand.

"Doctor Hatake," Iruka said blandly, "There is a mother here who has a child—her twelve-year-old daughter—in the operating room to repair her broken arm. What I could make of the little English she knew, they are here on vacation and French is their first language. The husband left a little while ago to do... something. I didn't understand what exactly"

"So, why am I—the resident psychologist to the hospital's doctors and surgeons—needed?"

That question earned him a hard glare. "Every time you ask, and every time you receive the same answer. You know exactly what I need." If he only knew what those words did to Kakashi's heart! "Someone has to tell the poor woman what is going on, and help her fill out the forms. You are available, so I might as well get you to do the work instead of hiring some emergency translator by the hour."

Iruka tapped his foot aggressively. Hmm... he only resorted to minute displays of frustration like that when he was really, really annoyed. Perhaps Kakashi should be a bit more... complying. "Okay, Iruka. Where is she?"

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"Bien, cette forme est la dernière, je jure. Vous devez juste remplir ces espaces. Que Docteur Umino m'a dit, que, Lilian sera dans la salle d'opération pendant le juste peu de temps plus long. Comme j'ai dit auparavant, la blessure n'était pas aussi sérieuse qu'ils ont à l'origine pensé et ils s'attendent vraiment à ce que la blessure guérisse gentiment. Je dois partir bientôt, mais au moment où Lilian est sortie, un traducteur d'hôpital officiel sera ici."

Stroking the hair of the sleeping boy whose head laid on his lap, Iruka watched the fair-haired man closely. He might not have understood a wink of what was being said, but by the way Ms. Ames smiled and looked ready to engulf the psychologist is a hug, Iruka knew that what Kakashi said must have pleased the woman immensely.

He could always do that, Iruka noted as he did whenever Hatake's services were needed. Kakashi could always calm the frantic parents of even the most severe cases. Something about his voice—in any and every language the brunet had heard him speak—that was conversely crisp and drawling; shockingly personal yet impassively professional. Then again, it might just be the mysterious yet heartbreakingly seductive appeal of the man that wooed all into quiet submission. It was something in the way his medium-length, platinum hair swept leftwards; something about the curious eye patch covering his left eye; something about how his visible, eternally hooded eye never looked out critically. Then there was the way in which he genuinely cared about both his patients and his friends, and how he was so adorably embarrassed to have pictures taken of his face. And all those languages... oh, how sexy they sounded from his mouth.

"Dites merci tellement, Docteur Hatake. Merci. Merci. Dites merci!"

Maybe it was everything about Kakashi that made a grown man such as Iruka swoon like he was a teenager again.

"Pas besoin de me remercier, mademoiselle," Kakashi said softly. "Reposez-vous juste pour maintenant. Je dois parler au Docteur Umino maintenant." And after a few more cries of "Merci" from Ms Ames, the fair-haired man turned and walked toward where Iruka sat with the sleeping child.

"So?" Iruka asked quietly.

"I calmed her a bit, and she should be fine until her husband's presentation finishes and he joins her."

"That's good," the brunet muttered as he continued to stroke the little boy's hair.

Smiling at the action, Kakashi knelt down in front of Iruka. Before the younger of the two could say anything, the psychologist reached out and gingerly nudged the boy. "Petit monsieur, vous devez vous réveiller."

Iruka's first response was to hiss at Kakashi to stop, but the gentleness writ on the other's pale face was too precious to disrupt.—"Petit monsieur."—So, the brunet let the eye-patch wearing man slowly wake the dozing boy, a guilty part of his mind imagining that would be how Kakashi woke him up after a night of lovemaking.

When the boy—Raoul—blinked his little blue eyes languidly, Hatake smiled. "Bonjour. Votre mère a besoin de vous. Comment de vous lui donnent une étreinte agréable?"

Raoul blinked some more before yawning and bobbing his head in a tiny nod. With Iruka's assistance, he stood up. Turning to the brunet, Raoul mumbled, "Le merci, joli docteur, pour me laisser pour dormir sur vos genoux," before toddling off to his mother.

"What did he say?"

Kakashi let a knowing smirk cross his face, laughter clearly shining in his eye. From his kneeling position, he slid into the seat beside Iruka, slumping down immediately. His head lolled sideways before tiredly perching on Iruka's shoulder. "He just offered his thanks."

"Really." Kakashi nodded. They sat there for a while, just appreciating their comfortable silence in the otherwise hectic hospital. Successfully fighting off a blush, the brunet let Kakashi's smell—something akin to freshly sliced ginger—invade his senses. The scent was so lovely and familiar that Iruka had to release a heavy sigh to avoid a humiliating moan from escaping his lips.

"Well, I need to get back to work," Iruka said at last.

"As do I."

They did not move.

"I really, really need to get back."

"As do I."

No movement.

"I'm cooking salt-broiled saury tonight. If you get off me now, you may come over."

Kakashi sat up immediately. "Mon joli docteur, we have a deal."

FRENCH TRANSLATIONS (a big thanks to LJ's acidvantrip for the help with the French)

1. Okay, this form is the last one, I swear. You just need to fill out these spaces. From what Doctor Umino told me, Lilian will be in the operating room for just a while longer. Like I said before, the injury was not as serious as they originally thought, and they do expect the wound to heal nicely. I must leave soon, but by the time Lilian is out, an official hospital translator will be here.

2. Thank you so much, Doctor Hatake. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

3. No need to thank me, miss. Just relax for now. I must talk to Doctor Umino now.

4. Little sir, you must wake up. Hello. Your mother needs you. How about you give her a nice hug?

5. Thank you, pretty doctor, for letting me sleep on your lap.

6. My pretty doctor...

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