Renji The Red-Head Shinigami

By: MysticFireBlood

SPOILERS for EPS. 150 AU; Humor

A/N: This is 'self-edited'. I wanted to surprise my boyfriend, so I did it all myself. Please, don't say anything rude about any misspellings or bad grammar. Thank you.

They got out of the room that Nel feel into and was walking down a dark hallway.

"Man, it's dark," Ichigo said after a few minutes.

"Leave everything to me!" Renji replied in an unusually cheerful tone.

"Oh? You got some trick up your sleeve?" Ichigo asked.

"If you tweak it a bit you can use kidou for times like this," he said as he removed his hands from under this cloak, "Shakkahō! (shoot red fire)."

However when it appeared it was a tiny read light.

Rukia looked embarrassed to say the least and Renji had a dark aura around him.

"That's a pretty tiny flame," Ichida started to say. "What? Do you use that to go to the bathroom at night?"

"Fool, that's what you get for being so cocky and doing something beyond your ability," Rukia replied.

The Ichigo put a hand on Renji's shoulder and smiled, "Well don't feel so bad. We can follow you with your bright red hair. You know, I think there's a song about you. Something about helping Santa out during Christmas."

The group started to sing, "Renji The Red-Head Shinigami. Had very bright red hair. And if you ever saw it. You could say it was veryspiky! All of the other Shinigami, used to laugh and call him names. They'd never let poor Renji join in any Shinigami games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Old-Man Yamamoto came to say, 'Renji with your bright spiky hair, would you guild my sleigh tonight?' Oh how the Shinigami loved him, they shouted out his name with glee. Renji, The Red-Head Shinigami, you'll go down in history!"

However when they got to the end of the hall, after Ichigo blasted though a couple of walls, the found out they where in a room that had several halls leading in different directions. After much debate, Renji gathered them around and the "Number One" theme started in the background.

"Hold on! Wait a minute! Wait one damn minute!" Ichigo yelled.

Renji looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "What?"

"All you did was starting saying a chant and you get MY THEME SONG?!"

"First of all, idiot, your song isn't 'Number One,' it's for anyone and secondly, it's about God damn time I got the song. I have worked my ass off just as hard as you and I get nothing. Hell, your sister did better than me! She got it while playing soccer with Toshiro-taicho in the park. I don't ever get it. So, get the hell over it. Just because you are the main character doesn't mean you can't share. I mean, I know your dad's an idiot, but I am pretty sure he taught you how to share."

"But all you are doing is saying a chant…." Ichigo wined.

"Ichigo, just get over it so we can get going and save your girlfriend." Rukia replied.

Ichigo blushed, "First of all, she and I are not dating and secondly, it's not like she's going anywhere. We know he needs her."

Rukia just rolled her eyes and hit him on the head. She then turned to Renji and said, "Alright, start again."

After they said their chant, they took off, leaving Nel and her friends behind.

"Boy, did I just pick the weirdest one to crush on?" Nel said, however she no sooner said that until she started to blush and run off after Ichigo.

Ichigo was walking down his hall mumbling to himself, "It's like they don't even care. I don't get the 'Number One' theme anymore. Renji gets it just before saying some stupid chant and on top off all of that, Toshiro got his own movie. Not even the main character and he gets his own movie. Who's a guy got to screw around here?"

THE END

I know, weird ending, but I am afraid that's all I got. Hope you liked it. Mystic : )