We all remember a particular man
He was strong and noble and not very tan
A respected vampire and very tall
but then one day, he had a nasty fall
It made us sulk, it made us cry
Oh, Mr. Crepsley, why did you have to die?
He was well over 200 years old
but too soon his life had to unfold
When I read book 9, I shed many tears
I will probably cry for many more years
I can't help but remember this particular guy
Now he's high up in the sky
For all the vampires, his life he sacrificed
Now he's relaxing in Paradise
Why did he go so gruesomely?
Pushed off a high ledge by Steve?
When I think of Steve all I feel is hate
But I know for a fact that it's just too late
To turn back the clocks, to reverse time
To save good old Mr. Crepsley's life
I try not to cry; I try not to frown,
but now that he's gone, I'm sometimes down
Now and then I get a glimmering hope
That one of these days he'll show up
Another book to the Cirque would be great
You know, Darren Shan it's not too late
Maybe they'd all be resurrected
and the Vampire Clan would be better protected
Or just rewrite the series, take back the fall
Then there will be a happier series for all!
But we all know you won't, Darren Shan
But Darren, you know, maybe I can
I'll write another book, a second ending
It'll be private, no patent pending
How 'bout I call it 'Evil in Paradise'?
Yeah, I like it, it'll suffice
Back on topic now, when you said Larten's rescue was fake
Darren Shan, it made my heart break!
I cried for three days and lost a whole night of sleep
Your books and stories are great, but they make me weep
That awesome vampire couldn't be moved by the strongest gale
Nothing could stop him, not even the biggest fail
His only weakness was a big pit of sharp, fiery stakes
And to Larten's assassin: "Steve, we all make mistakes."