(As co-written by The Odd Little Toadling (aka Gahnem(READ HER FICS!)))

Coram and Alanna were the best of friends

All through thier knighthood days

Both members of the Tortallan Court

Both active in the BSA*

After graduation Coram went out lookin'

for a bright new world

Alanna looked all around this town

And all she found was Jon

Well it wasn't two weeks

After she got knighted that

Alanna started gettin' abused

She put on dark glasses and long sleeved tunics

And make up to cover a bruise

Well she finally got the nerve to file for the watch

She let the King take it from there

But Jon walked right through that placement order

And put her in intensive care

Right away Coram rode in from Corus

On a red eye midnight ride

He held Alanna's hand as they

Worked out a plan

And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Jon had to die

Goodbye Jon

Those black-eyed peas

They tasted all right to me Jon

You're feelin' weak

Why don't you lay down

And sleep Jon

Ain't it dark

Wrapped up in that carpet Jon

The cops came by to bring Jon in They searched the castle

High and low

Then they tipped thier hats

And said "thank you soldiers if you hear from him let us know"

Well the weeks went by and

Spring turned to Summer

And Summer faded into Fall

And it turns out he was a missing person

Who nobody missed at all

So the knights bought some land

And an empty barn

Out on Tortall's border line

They sell magic knights hats

And possesed cats

And they don't

Lose any sleep at night 'cause

Jon had to die

Goodbye Jon

We need a break

Let's go out to the lake Jon

We'll pack a lunch

And stuff you in the saddle bags Jon

Well is that all right

Good Let's go for a ride

Jon Hey

*Braodsword Activists