A/N: I found the ending of ME3 to be disappointing, to put it mildly! So I decided to write something that made sense of the threads we'd been left with. This is my first ever fanfic so I would appreciate any feedback just please be gentle! ;o) Thanks for reading!

The incessant beeping was the first thing to creep into her consciousness. As she slowly fought through the fog in her mind she became aware of the constant murmur of voices and sound of footsteps passing nearby.

Where the hell am I?

Adrenaline started to pump through her body as it prepared to fight in the face of the unknown. The beeping sound increased in intensity, ringing in her ears. Finally she managed to force her eyes open, wincing at the sterile white light of the room. Blinking her eyes adjusted and she realized she was in a hospital –AGAIN - Shepard muttered an expletive as she saw the IV and wires attached to her. She took a deep breath to calm her heart rate as she took stock of her surroundings.

The small room was bare except for the bed she currently occupied, the medical equipment she was strapped to and one small metal folding chair that had clearly seen better days. There were no windows or notices on the walls to give her any clues to where she had ended up.

Hell, at least this time the place wasn't blowing up around her. She grunted in discomfort as she tried to push herself up. Pain shot through her side and she gingerly felt her ribs, a breath hissing out as she found a couple that must have been cracked when she'd been hit by Harbinger's laser on the way to the beam. Her muscles were stiff as she moved, her body throbbing as barely healed injuries protested against her efforts to sit up. Clearly she had been out for a while.

The last thing she remembered was the explosion on the Citadel throwing her backwards. The impact must have knocked her out cold but how had she managed to get to a hospital? There was no subtle hum of a drive core which meant she wasn't on a ship. Had the Citadel somehow managed to survive the Crucible firing? Had it destroyed the Reapers?

Gritting her teeth she pulled out the IV and peeled the electrodes monitoring her vitals from her skin. It took sheer force of will but she managed to swing her legs over the edge of the bed and gingerly place her feet on the cold floor.

Easy does it, she thought as she slowly shifted her weight forward. Her legs trembled with the effort but at least they were supporting her.

A sudden dull boom sounded outside the building, making the floor tremble underfoot and pitching her forward against the wall. Shit the Reapers were still out there! She had to move, to find out what was happening. Pain lanced through her body as she dragged the door open and stumbled out into the hallway. There were a few people in the narrow corridor but they seemed oblivious to the danger bearing down on them. Holding her left arm stiff against her cracked ribs she staggered forward, almost losing her footing again as another explosion shook the building.

I've got to move. I've got to get these people out of here. Drawing on her reserves of strength she straightened, only dimly hearing the sound of running footsteps behind her.

"Commander Shepard!" a voice tinged with urgency called out. "Commander STOP!"

A hand grabbed her arm as she stepped forward, drawing her up short. The doctor frowned at her as she tried to stop Shepard from moving.

"We need to get out of here. It's not safe. The Reapers are out there! You need to get your people to safety." Shepard's voice was rough and strained from the effort she'd expended getting out of the bed.

"The Reapers were destroyed when you activated the Crucible, Commander." The doctor reassured her, expertly manoeuvring her back into the room.

"But there were explosions a minute ago." Confused Shepard sat back on the edge of the bed, her body shaking with the exertion and the fading adrenaline.

"A Reaper fell not far from here. The Alliance has teams doing controlled demolitions to help clear some of the rubble." The doctor's voice was sympathetic as she spoke while scanning Shepard with her omni tool. "You've been unconscious for over two weeks."

"So who are you and where am I?"

The doctor gave a smile, making her look years younger than she was despite the greying hair she'd pulled back in a bun. "I'm Doctor Laurens and you're in London. Admiral Hackett had you medevac'd here when they found you."

"And my team? Did they make it?" Shepard's vision was starting to blur at the edges as she gripped the side of the bed to keep her balance.

"I'm sorry Commander, I don't know about your team. We've received a lot of wounded because of this damned war. Not all of them will make it."

She pinned the woman with a hard gaze, needing to know the truth. "How bad was I doc?"

Helping her back into a reclining position, Dr. Laurens raised the head of the bed so that Shepard was sitting slightly more upright. "You were in bad shape when they found you. You'd lost a lot of blood and there was major internal haemorrhaging. Thankfully what was left of your armour did its job and protected you long enough to get you to a medical facility. But your wounds are still healing."

She grimaced, "Yeah I noticed."

"Well staggering through the corridors in search of another battle isn't exactly going to help your recovery Commander." Laurens flashed her a disapproving look, "Though how you thought you were going to take on more Reapers in your condition is beyond me."

Shepard gave her a wry smile, "Someone had to do it."

The doctor gave a snort of laughter, "Well luckily for you that's one battle you don't have to have. I need you to stay here and rest. Your body is healing and your cybernetics took a hit. We don't want them failing because you're putting your body through too much stress too soon."

"Wait, my implants are still functioning?" Shepard demanded.

Surprised, the doctor nodded. "Of course they are Commander. They took some damage but those are high quality implants you have so there was no need to replace them. Now I'm going to inform Admiral Hackett that you've woken up. Given how often he asks for updates on your condition I imagine he's going to want to speak to you immediately." She paused at the door, giving Shepard a stern look, "Try and stay in your bed this time Commander."

Shepard barely noticed the woman leave. Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble in her mind as she tried to process the situation. The Catalyst had told her that choosing to destroy the Reapers would result in the destruction of all synthetic life, including her implants. It had been a heart-breaking decision but there had been no choice except to destroy the Reapers for good. As she'd raised her gun to fire the decisive shots she had been prepared to die, willing to sacrifice herself for the lives she was dooming by her decision. But somehow she had survived and the guilt of it lay heavily on her shoulders.

If her implants were still functioning could it mean that the Catalyst had lied? A spark of hope flared inside her. If her cybernetics were unaffected then perhaps EDI and the Geth had survived the blast that had disabled the Reapers. She had no way of knowing that until she heard from Hackett and Shepard knew there would be no easy way to justify her choice, should her hope prove to be false. At least Hackett would know what had happened to her crew. God, she didn't even know if any of them had survived Harbinger's attacks which inevitably brought her thoughts to the one person she'd fought so hard to survive for.

Kaidan. He was there in her mind's eye. Had he made it? The thought that she might have lost him while she had somehow survived tore at her and she had to force the image away. She angrily wiped away the stray tear that slipped down her cheek. No he was a fighter, he would have a found a way. That's what he'd always told her, to always leave a way out. I promised I would be waiting for you. Where are you?