Me: Hello everybody. It's Twister the Hedgehog, A.K.A., 2186727, bitches. I'm new to posting my stories but not writing. I just got a few things to say...

Sonic: Just start the damn story.

Me: Shut the fuck up Sonic. I got to tell them the disclaimer first. Anyways, as you probably figured out I do not own the Sonic characters so don't start no shit about that.

Sonic: Don't no one own me.

Me: Sonic, you're SEGA's main bitch.

Sonic: Damn.

Me: With that over with, I guess we can start the story.

Sonic: Ass.

Me: What was that?(pulls out shotgun)

Sonic: Oh shit!!

The Vacation

Chapter 1: The Normal Bullshit Starts

"King me," our little fox friend, Tails, said as he jumped his piece to the other side of the rather large checker board.

"Wait," the angry red echidna, Knuckles, protested, "you can't jump me from all the way over there."

"Yes I can," Tails said, "it's called a rainbow jump. It's part of the rules, dumbass."

"Dumbass? Who are you calling a dumbass you little faggot?" Knuckles shouted as he clenched his fist.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not gay," Tails yelled as loud as he could. "I probably get twice as much pussy asyou do."

"That's it!!" Knuckles roared. Before Tails could even hope to lift a finger, Knuckles' fist was already at working crashing in to the side of his face. Tails was sent flying towards a wall. *CRASH* Sonic, not paying attention to the usual fights his friends share over stupid shit, was caught off guard by the loud crash and fell face-first onto the floor.

"What the fuck...," Sonic started saying until he saw the gaping hole in the wall. Then Shadow walked in the room.

"What... in... the hell," Shadow shouted, the anger in his voce rising with each word that slid out of his mouth. "I finally let you three come on vacation with me and stay in my condo, and you put a whole in my wall?" Chaos energy was flowing from his hands as he was seething with anger. "I ought to kill all of you right here," Shadow shouted, his voice sounding demonic, "but I won't." All the energy dispersed as if he got shot with enough tranquilizer to take down three bull elephants.(Wow, I thought some people were bi-polar.) "What kind of person would kill his friends for tearing a hole in his wall?" he asked. "Besides, why kill you when you can just pay for it?"

"But I didn't do anything," Sonic whined.

"Like I give a flying fuck. You were supposed to watch those two," Shadow said, pointing at Tails and Knuckles.

"And we spent the last of our money on booze yesterday," Tails and Knuckles cried in unison.

"You're gonna have to get the money somehow," Shadow said.

"How's that, smartass," Sonic said.

"I know, how about a job?" Shadow said.

"NO!!" Tails and Knuckles cried at the top of their lungs.

"If we have to get jobs, I think I know where we can get some," Sonic said.

"I don't care how you get it as long as you get it," Shadow said.

"Fine, we'll go tomorrow," Sonic said.

"Okay," Tails said.

"Yeah," Knuckles said.

Me: Sorry if this chapter is too short. It's just an introductory chapter as to what happens to start all the stupid shit that you'll come to enjoy. This story is meant to be a romance in some parts, but I could always go for a good laugh so it's filled with a lot of crazy random shit that will hopefully get at least a chuckle.

Sonic: I thought it was okay.

Me: Oh, that reminds me. If you want to review, don't be an ass. I enjoy constructive criticism, but being a douchbag is a different story. Tell me what you think I need to cause that's one of the only ways I'll become a better writer.

Sonic: I hope there's no assholes.

Knuckles: Don't worry. I'll fuck 'em up.

Me: What the hell!! How did...

Knuckles: Don't ask.

Shadow: You really don't want to know.

Me: Holy shit!! How did...

Tails: I thought they said not to ask.

Me: What the fuck!! Can't you guys at least knock first?