they keep, screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep.
-When I'm Gone, Eminem
I'm just going to the store. I won't be long. Leah? Leah, are you even listening to me?
Hmm?
I'm going to the store. Can I take the car?
Uhm, I guess. Go ahead. Don't be late.
I'm just going to the store, Lee. See ya.
Mhm, bye.
xxx.
What are you doing here, Jake?
Leah… you haven't… you didn't hear?
Does it look like it? Heard what?
About Seth.
… What about Seth?!
He's dead, Leah.
xxx.
"And today, 17 year old Seth Clearwater was killed in a brutal car accident. A silver Volvo, driven by twenty year old Edward Cullen, rear ended the young man's car, which sent it spiralling into the surrounding forest. Clearwater's car wrapped around a tree and it is believed he was killed on impact. Edward Cullen, the son of Fork's doctor Carlisle Cullen, was tested and proved negative for driving under the influence."
xxx.
"Leah."
She hasn't said a word in three days. Her eyes stare blankly at Jacob as if she can't recognize him. Her eyes are red and can't focus properly. She's slept for two hours in three days. She can barely stand up straight.
"Leah, the funeral is in half an hour. You have to go."
At the word funeral, she visibly flinches. Jacob crosses the room and takes her hand in his. Her hand is oddly cold.
"Leah, I know what this must be like for you." No, he can't, actually. He can't imagine what it would be like losing his brother. Finding out he was killed by one of the people- er, vampires- that you hate most in the world. "But Leah, you have to come. For him. For Seth."
She turns her head slowly, as if she were in a horror movie. The look in her eyes is the scariest thing he's ever seen. Her voice, when she finally speaks, is hoarse from disuse. She whispers.
"Why the fuck would he care. He doesn't even know."
He doesn't know what to say to this.
"Please, Leah. Take a shower. I'll pick something out for you to wear."
She gives him a look full of what he can only describe as hate.
She takes a shower anyway.
xxx.
They wanted Leah to speak at the funeral but after three days of silence from her they give the job to Jacob. Sue offered but at the very mention at her son's name the tears came harder and so they decided she wasn't exactly fit for the job. So Jacob stands in front of all those people, a picture of the smiling Seth at his back, and tries not to cry.
"I don't… I don't even know what to say. What can you say? What can you say when someone that young dies so suddenly? Seth wasn't supposed to die. Not for a very long time. He hadn't even really lived. And now he won't get a chance to.
"So what do you say to that? We all knew Seth. Talking about his kindness, his sweetness, it won't make a difference. It won't bring him back. So what can you say? What can you say to try and make somebody feel better about this? To try and ease the pain?
"Nothing. You can't say anything. There is no word that can take full responsibility for this grief. There is no word, in any language, that can adequately describe this pain. So what can you say?
"Nothing."
xxx.
Sue is crying. Emily is crying. Sam sits there stony. The rest of the wolves all stare off into space, their eyes glazed over, trying to fight off the tears that are threatening to spill.
In the back, a glint of white reflects from the trees, and Leah follows it.
xxx.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?"
She's got her voice back suddenly and Edward turns around as if he hadn't heard her coming. Bella is, of course, ever present at his side, but for once in her life she isn't looking at Leah in loathing, but with a look of pity on her face that makes Leah want to rip it off.
"Leah-"
"Where the fuck do you get off, coming here like this?"
Edward is at a loss for words. Bella takes his hand in hers and Leah wants to scream.
"Leah?"
It's Jacob's voice behind her but she doesn't care. It isn't the voice she wants.
"You have no goddamn right to be here."
Edward shakes his head, grief evident on his face. "Leah, you can't even understand how sorry I am."
She doesn't want to understand. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Couldn't you fucking hear him? Was she blowing you or some shit, distracting you? What the fuck, Cullen?!"
"Leah, he didn't do it on purpose."
She growls at Bella, who seems to look like she's about to expect a challenge. Then she steps back and Leah screams.
"I've grown too dependant on my senses, Leah. This has proven that I can't rely solely on them. I'm sorry."
"Oh well, I'm glad my brother's goddamn death taught you a valuable lesson, that makes all of this better!"
"Leah, please." Jacob doesn't know what he's asking. To stop? To calm down?
To rip him to pieces?
Edward glances at Jacob as this thought flashes through his mind and Leah takes this as her opportunity to lunge.
The all expect to see a wolf lunge herself at the vampire, but instead all they see is Leah, beating her fists uselessly against him.
She's too weak to phase.
"You- mother- fucking- bastard- how- could- you- my- baby- brother, I- hate- you!"
Edward lets him hit her, although he's aware it probably hurts her more than him. She tires out soon. Two hours of sleep and no food will do that to you.
She wants to collapse at his feet, but that seems too much like submission. Instead, she works up the strength to spit at him, then turns and runs.
Jacob looks long and hard at the vampires.
"Jake-"
He holds up a hand. "Don't, Bella."
"Is there anything we can do?"
"There's lots of things you can do, none of which I think you'll appreciate very much."
"Jacob, you're being-"
"What, Bella? What am I being? Unreasonable? Am I being unreasonable? Is that it? Because personally, I think I'm being pretty damn fucking reasonable. I should rip his goddamn throat out for this."
"It was an accident."
"And? I accidentally phase, I accidentally fall on him, I accidentally rip his limbs off. Would you be alright if I said it was an accident?"
Bella moves towards him. Edward grabs her arm.
"What, are you going to fight me Bella? Because I'm not afraid to hurt you. You know, maybe you should have kept stringing me along- if I was still in love with you, I might not want to kill you so badly now."
He goes to run after Leah, but stops and turns towards Edward.
"I see you, or any of your goddamn freaky family, near my pack, I'll fucking kill you, Cullen."
Then he runs, not bothering to phase. She can't have gone very far.
xxx.
She hasn't.
After a two minute run from where he left the vampires, he sees her crumpled on the ground, sobs wracking her body. It's the first time she's cried.
He crouches down and takes her into his arms, rocking her gently as she hiccoughs and sobs, soaking his shirt, her hands entangled in the fabric as she violently shakes.
After it's clear she isn't going to stop anytime soon, he gently pushes her away.
"I'm gonna take you home, Leah. You can finally get some rest."
He moves to pick her up- she's far too weak to make it back- but she shakes her head. Confused, he's about to ask why when she crawls over to a bush and hurls into it. He can't imagine what she could possibly be throwing up, just holds her hair out of her face as she sputters and spits, leaning back into him when she's finished.
He picks her up. She seems almost to weigh ten pounds. She leans her head on his chest, still crying. When she closes her eyes, she sees Seth.
xxx.
The house is full of flowers and food and cards. He doesn't see Sue when he gets in. She's probably with Charlie.
He carries Leah into her bedroom and tucks the covers around her, smoothing her hair back and kissing her forehead lightly before he leaves. He plans to sleep on the couch so he can be here when she wakes up.
She grabs his hand.
"Please," she cries. Now that the tears have started, they can't seem to stop. "Don't leave."
He won't.
xxx.
"I know there's been lots of talk about these wolves- I heard them, and lots of people have called in asking about them, what's the deal with these wolves, Jamie?"
"Well Tim, everybody in the surrounding area must have heard them last night. A pack of wolves, somewhere in the forest, howling all night long. It probably would have been beautiful if we weren't all scared out of our minds, but there have been no sightings of these wolves, however, stay away from the forests and be aware, folks!"
"Maybe tonight you can sing with them, eh Jamie?"
"Well, you know how much I like to howl."
I've written so many stories where I killed Leah I figured I'd kill Seth this time.
randr!