Conquer
By: Miss Phyllis Baxter
Summary: Jean-Luc returns to the Enterprise after his shore leave on Ba'ku is cut short. What will happen between him and Beverly now?
Word Count: 2019
Jean-Luc sighed and beamed back up to the Enterprise. What should have been almost a year of shore leave on Ba'ku had ended horribly. Thankfully for him, the Enterprise had only been a few days away on their way to their next assignment, so they could easily take the detour to pick up their Captain from the planet where they had recently saved the locals from relocation.
He wasn't even completely sure what had gone wrong between him and Anij, he just knew that it had all gone horribly wrong. One minute they were fine, the next morning when they woke up, they started arguing without a break for almost 2 days. She had told him several times that he knew what he had done wrong, but he still had no idea exactly what he had done wrong. It was madness. They had made love then fallen asleep and she was fine when they had done that.
Could he have done something in his sleep? Not likely, he wasn't one to move very much at night. He sighed lightly and stepped of the transporter pad, nodding to the lieutenant at the transporter console before leaving for his quarters. He headed down the corridor, praying that he didn't run into Beverly, since she would certainly ask how his shore leave had been.
Before he had left, she expressed her disdain for his choice to go on shore leave for almost a year to spend time with Anij, so she would wonder what had gone wrong when he came back less than 4 months into his leave. He really was not in the mood to see her smirk while he tried to explain that they had gotten into an argument.
He loved Beverly, he would always love Beverly, but she would not pursue a relationship with him. He knew she was afraid of what might happen if they explored their feelings, but her upset when he got into a relationship with another woman was beginning to upset him. If she wanted to start a relationship with him, he would jump in with much enthusiasm and would give her everything. She hadn't asked, and so he assumed that that was not what she wanted. He had learned throughout their time together.
So many times they had gone down the road that could lead them to happiness, and each time they failed to let the wind take them where it may. He wanted to be with Beverly so much, and all other women, including Anij, had simply been a distraction from that. Was that the issue? Had Anij somehow found out that he only truly loved Beverly Crusher? If she had, how had she found out? He had never given her any indication, had he? Every time they had made love, he had been as quiet as possible, to ensure he never said Beverly's name, though he thought of her the entire time.
Entering his quarters, he sat down and put his head in his hands. Anij had been possibly his last chance at happiness, they would have lived together forever, and now they wouldn't. She would be forever young and he would get old and die alone, without the woman he loved by his side. Beverly was who he wanted to be with, but since her rejection, he had forced himself to entertain the possibility of being with another woman. And that thought killed him inside.
Did he and Beverly not deserve to be happy because of the fact that they had wanted each other even while she was marries to Jack? He had betrayed his best friend, though he had never known; Beverly had betrayed her husband, though he never knew. Jack had been dead for over 20 years now, why was he still a ghost that haunted him and Beverly? Why was he, even in death, intent on making two people who belonged together unhappy and keeping them apart. Friends were supposed to make people happy.
Yes, Jean-Luc was happy that he and Beverly had maintained a friendship during their tenure on the Enterprise, and even improved it from their days with Jack, but when two people should be together, friendship isn't enough and can eventually strain the friendship. Unrequited love was the worst thing to deal with according to Jean-Luc. He should know; he'd lived with it since he first laid eyes on Beverly. Back then she had been Starfleet Cadet Beverly Howard.
Thinking back to how they were when they first met, Jean-Luc smiled lightly, though still feeling the pain of his fight with Anij.
Now, he had been with another woman, once again proving himself disloyal to Beverly. Perhaps that's what she had meant when she had said, "Maybe we should be afraid." After all, they did have problems with hurting each other by engaging in relationships with other people. Their relationship was riddled with seemingly endless love triangles. No matter how much they loved each other, it was almost impossible for the two of them to catch a break and be happy with one another. Perhaps love didn't conquer all, maybe it was friendship that did that.
He thought that maybe Anij and he were meant to be, but now, after their fight, he knew that wasn't true. He didn't like the idea of dying alone, with the feelings he had for Beverly remaining unacted upon. He was avoiding her, his best friend, because he assumed she'd be smug about the fight he'd had with Anij. He shook his head at himself. Beverly wasn't like that.
Standing up, he left his quarters and walked towards Beverly's. He would make sure that their friendship continued to conquer all that was in their way. And in order to do so, they would need yo make sure that they shared their problems with one another.
Arriving at Beverly's quarters, he rang the chime and waited for a moment until the door opened and Beverly stood before him.
When Beverly had heard the chime, she had internally groaned. Hoping it wasn't Deanna, she slowly walked to the door. She couldn't bear the thought of Deanna's worrying over her again, but if the Counsellor was at the door, that's what she would be subjected to.
It had been a long 3 1/2 months for Beverly with Jean-Luc's absence from the Enterprise, only made worse by the fact that he was with another woman. She couldn't shake the fact that it was all her fault. If she hadn't been afraid to explore her feelings for him, he would be with her, not Anij.
Without Jean-Luc by her side, without spending time with him for nearly 4 months, she had found herself spiraling into depression. She wanted Jean-Luc to come back, so she could tell him that she'd changed her mind, but that wasn't going to happen. And maybe, when he did return, it would be too later for her to tell him how she truly felt.
She opened the door and felt herself become very weak. Jean-Luc was standing in front of her. Her jaw dropped and she just stared into his eyes. She couldn't help but wonder why he was back early, but it brought her happiness and hope. "Jean-Luc," she whispered quietly.
"We need to talk Beverly," he said. "May I come in?"
Beverly smiled and nodded. "Of course," she said. "Can I get you a cup of Earl Grey?"
Jean-Luc nodded before smiling as he replied properly. "Thank you Beverly," he replied as he sat down on her sofa. Once she returned with their tea, he took a deep breath. "I suppose you're wondering why I've returned early."
"That thought had crossed my mind, Jean-Luc," she replied, unable to take her eyes off of him.
He sighed before he began to explain. "Anij and I got into an argument. She told me to leave; but I don't know what I did wrong. I think somehow, she may have found out about my feelings for you."
Beverly felt her heart flutter as he mentioned his feelings for her. "How would that have happened?" she asked, hoping that his answer would not be anything that might upset her.
Jean-Luc shrugged. "It was all fine. We made love, fell asleep, and when we woke up, she was upset with me," he replied. "We argued for a while, she never told me what I did wrong, and then I was told to leave."
Beverly's brow furrowed, her mind stuck on when he had said 'it was fine, we made love'. She put on a smile that was partially forced. "Well, I can't think of anything that you could have done wrong; nor can I find any indication that you let your feelings for me slip in front of her. You didn't say my name in the throes of ecstasy, did you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"No, I always remained as quiet as possible. Besides, if I had, she would have been upset before we fell asleep," he said, before an idea dawned on him. "Oh, you know those dreams I have?"
"The erotic ones about us?" she asked. "I have dreams about those dreams Jean-Luc. But she's not a telepath, how could she have found out about them?"
"Perhaps I said something in my sleep. I mean, the dream I had about you and I the night before Anij and I started arguing were extremely erotic. You were doing some very enjoyable things to me, and if a comment I made in the dream was said out loud, that would be a good reason for het to be upset with me," he remarked with a light blush, as he remembered the dream.
"Do you think she's likely to take you back?" Beverly asked, hoping his answer might mean the potential for her and Jean-Luc to start the kind of relationship they deserved.
Jean-Luc sighed and shook his head lightly, which nearly made Beverly smile. "I just really don't want to be alone anymore," he whispered before dropping his head into his hands. Beverly moved closer to him and put her arm around him.
"You don't need to be alone Jean-Luc," she stated before taking a deep breath. Her next statement would either make them as a couple, or break them as friends. "Because I'm not afraid anymore."
Jean-Luc lifted his head from his hands and leaned towards Beverly, capturing her lips in his in a chaste kiss. Beverly felt tears come to her eyes as her heart soared. He still wanted to be in a relationship with her. When he pulled back from the kiss, he felt a twinge of panic at the sight of tears in her eyes.
"Have I upset you Beverly?" he asked, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted what she had said.
Beverly shook her head. "I'm just so happy Jean-Luc. I didn't think you'd still want to be with me," she said, wiping her eyes. "I mean your dreams kind of said that you did, but you still wanted to leave the Enterprise for nearly a year suggesting that you didn't want me anymore."
"Beverly, I have wanted you for as long as I have known you. No woman in the entire universe could ever change that. Not Anij, not Nella, not Vash, nobody," he replied, pressing his lips to hers once again, this time much less chaste than the last kiss.
Jean-Luc knotted his hands in Beverly's hair as her arms wound around his neck. Briefly breaking their kiss, she spoke. "You know what? I'm really glad that the length of time you spent on Ba'ku didn't make all your hair grow back. You're sexy the way you are."
"I'm glad you feel that way Beverly," he replied. "Now, shall we start catching up on some lost time together?"
"Absolutement," Beverly replied, faking a French accent, standing up and leading him to her bed.
Jean-Luc swelled with happiness as Beverly spoke to him in his native tongue. "I love you," he remarked as they lay down on her bed, still in their clothes.
"J'aime tu aussi, Jean-Luc," she said with a small smile as his lips descended upon her again.
finis.