A/N: To all who read/reviewed/favorited my first story, Chuck vs. The Aftermath, I would like to express my sincerest gratitude. I'm new to the publishing side of this site so I don't know the protocol regarding reviews and responses (feel free to fill me in here) but I wanted to say thank you for reading and reviewing. It's so nice to have had a warm welcome to writing here. :)
This is bases on the song "So Long" by Ingrid Michaelson and obviously I highly recommend it, the whole album in fact. Time wise, this could really go anywhere. I imagine it somewhere in the second season but that's just me. Honestly, I'm considering making this a series of one-shots but I don't know how I feel about that just yet. We shall see how much life lets me write and how much writer's block stops me from doing just that.
I don't own Chuck or Ingrid Michaelson but I do own how excited I am that Chuck is coming back in January! Enjoy!
"Disaster"
Sarah had given up on her happily ever after long ago. For as long as she could remember, she hadn't thought of her future in terms of anything other than the next mission.
Until she met Chuck.
You've made me into someone
Who should not hold a loaded gun
And now you sit upon my chest
Knock out my wind, knock out my best
She could pinpoint the day, the minute that she started to feel the ache of an impossible future. And every day since that moment the pang of something more grew in her chest.
It was nothing so out of the ordinary, it was just one small thing that sent her world flipping on its edge and grinding to a halt.
They were on a cover date with Ellie and Awesome. It was a beautiful spring night in L.A. and the four of them were walking along the crowded sidewalk threading through groups of people as they made their way to the restaurant. It was one of those evenings when the sunset seemed to hang just a little longer than usual. The trees were laced with festive lights and the sound of an acoustic guitar floated from the street performance half a block down. Sarah walked next to Chuck and just a step ahead giving their distance an overlap to allow for the loiterers around them. Her gaze drifted across the street to the sign of an old movie house that flickered to life. Distracted by the neon she didn't see that a young man but two steps in front of her had lost his balance and stepped back from his place in his group and directly into her path. His momentum and her gait would have created an ugly collision. But she never saw him and there was no collision because Chuck swept his hand into hers and quickly but gracefully pulled her out of the path of the other man's misstep and directly in front of himself.
Startled by her change of direction, Sarah refocused and noticed only that the man had missed her and bumped Chuck instead. Apologies were exchanged and Chuck continued on his way. Sarah may have been distracted for a moment but she knew exactly what had happened and she found herself frozen in place. Her hand still in Chuck's, she pulled him to a stop and drew his attention to her immediately. He retraced the two steps back to her with a hint of concern in his eyes and they stood there for a moment silent and staring at each other.
"Thank you," she whispered and her words sparked an electricity in his eyes that seemed to travel to his lips as he broke into a smile that would have melted the coldest of hearts.
And that was it. Everything that was not supposed to happen, that couldn't happen, happened. At that moment she knew she was lost- drowning in a sea of things that she wasn't supposed to feel because she was an agent and it wasn't her job to feel anything.
And so long to no disasters
And mornings too
And so long to ever afters,
So long to you
She would blame him but she couldn't. It really wasn't his fault after all, he was just who he was and he wore his heart on his sleeve with so much trust that no one would break it that it was almost hard to watch.
She could only blame herself for letting something so small trip the wire on her heart and send all of her trapped emotions flooding her person.
She didn't know what it felt like to fall in love but she had always imagined that it was some sort of logical process that wasn't a surprise so much as a feeling that grew, something she would see coming. But standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk with Chuck only a handhold away, she couldn't help but notice the distinct feeling of a lightning bolt hitting her in the pit of her stomach followed by the goose bumps that traced up her arms and the catch of her breath in her throat. She had never felt it before but she knew exactly what it was.
Nothing like she had expected. Nothing she saw coming. Nothing she could control.
I am soft for only you
Impale me with your tongue it's true
And slices of me piled sky high
The same old me to the naked eye
But I can't find myself tonight
She had banked on her skills and her unflinching commitment to her job to keep her from this moment. It was the worst case scenario: fall in love, lose control, become a liability instead of an asset. The consequences were endless. All of those things spoke of disaster and yet, as she looked at him and his smile and those eyes she couldn't think of one reason not to kiss him right then and there.
She popped forward on her toes and inclined her head just enough to brush her lips against his. For a moment or an hour--she couldn't focus enough to care--she lost herself in him. Her lips on his, tongues intertwined, a hand in his hair, his fingertips grazing her hip. It consumed her. They broke apart and she knew that what just happened was perfect, it was like nothing she would ever experience again.
And it was a disaster. She was suddenly flush with all the reasons they should not have done that. Reality hit fast and hard breaking her from a blissful ignorance to a position of knowing everything- from what lines had been crossed to what would happen on this side of them. Reassignment. Bunkers. Danger. Broken hearts. Broken lives. Lies. Tears. Agony.
Or something, anything else. Mornings waking up in his arms, in his shirt, to his smell. Nights wasted in his kiss, with his voice in her ear and his hands in her hair. A disaster, maybe. But a beautiful, exquisite disaster.
That thought defeated the previous one and she pushed the Sarah she thought she was as far away as she could. She put the agent within her away because she had suddenly gotten a taste of something better. It had taken only one simple touch, one gesture to set fire to everything she knew and to show her everything she never knew she wanted.
She pulled him to her again and just before her lips touched his she whispered once more, "Thank you."
And so long to no disasters
And mornings too
And so long to ever afters,
So long to you