Where does poo come from?
I suddenly had this idea for a fanfiction.
This is my first fanfiction.
I tried to keep Bella as in-character as possible…
I haven't read twilight in ages.
Yes, I was bored. Yes, I am retarded.
And No, I do not own Twilight.
Who'd want to, anyway?
Bella POV
I was sitting at the breakfast table, waiting for Renesmee to get up while reading The Tale of Despereaux, which is what Renesmee was reading currently for school. Edward had gone hunting, and so I was left in the small cottage alone.
She was now eight months old, but she looked like she was eight years old. Time passes quicker now that I'm immortal, but I can't say that, since I have to live for eternity and a day longer than I should.
"Good morning Mom!" Renesmee shouted cheerily from her bedroom door, yawning. Was she already up? I need to cook breakfast!
Renesmee's stomach grumbled quite clearly. Her rosy red cheeks just got redder.
I really need to cook breakfast. And fast. I placed the book on the table.
"Morning, dear." I said, running to the kitchen at lightning speed, and shouted from the kitchen, "What would you like for breakfast?"
"Chocolate milk and chocolate pancakes, please." Renesmee said, skipping gracefully toward the breakfast table, yawning again as she sat down.
Renesmee had gotten used to human food, and goes hunting with me, Edward and Jacob occasionally too.
After I was done with cooking the -half burnt- pancakes, I set them on the table and poured the chocolate milk into the glass. We sat silently while she ate, the only sounds in the dining room being the sounds of chewing and sipping, and me picking up and turning the pages of my -Renesmee's, really- book.
"Mother…" said Renesmee cautiously, fiddling with her sleeves.
"Hm?" I sounded, keeping my eyes on the book.
"Where does poo come from?" she said, setting her fork down and inclining her head. I nearly tore the book into pieces, as I stared at the off-white wall.
Should I tell her? Is she mature enough?
Well, I guess…
She was looking at me impatiently. I better tell her anyway, better now than never...
How do I explain this?
"Poo," I started "starts off as the stuff you eat. When it's in your stomach, all the good stuff is absorbed, and what's left is poo, which comes out of your system."
Renesmee just stared at me, unmoving.
"But…" she cried, wiping a tear from her eye, "If poo comes from your butt, where does Tigger come from?"
Review while I poke my eyes out with a spork over this.
Then what happens if you don't review?
You'll get your eyes poked out with a spork, too!
Flames will be used to heat up and melt the spork, and you will still have your eyes poked out.
With a hot plastic spork.
And then I will mash up your eyeball, which I have poked out.
Then the jelly will be used for my morning toast :]
Bleh.
Just review. Seriously.