A/N This is a oneshot for the Draco/Luna challenge issued by Gamma Orionis. None of these characters belong to me, and certain lines are from the Mayday Parade song "Miserable at Best" which is also the basis for this fic! Reviews are lovely :)
"I can live without you, but without you…I'll be miserable, at best." He laughed bitterly and took another swig from his tankard, wiping his hand on the back of his mouth.
"Draco, it doesn't have to be like this." She answered in her breathy, ethereal, beautiful voice, and he felt himself break all over for the hundredth time in the conversation.
"Tell me, Luna, why is it that these words were never easier for me to say?"
"I don't know; why don't you tell me?" she replied genially.
Because you made me believe I was something more than an attractive face with a massive amount of Galleons? Because you held me and watched me cry when they gave my father his life sentence? Maybe it's the way you look at me in the mornings, when you've just woken up? Or how you get that daft little squeak in your voice when you catch me reading the Quibbler?
"Because it's what you want to hear!" he spat out, and threw his money onto the bar top.
No you fucking sod, not that. It's not that at all, why are you saying that to her?"
"Well that's why we can't be together anymore Draco." She said wistfully. "You act as if you're only in this because everyone wants us to be."
"I'll be out of your hair in a moment." He snarled. Your gorgeous, soft hair.
"Draco?" she called as he shrugged on his cloak.
"What."
"The hardest part is letting go." She gave him a wistful look and floated out the door, leaving him dumbstruck and torn. Should he chase her? Fall into the snow and proclaim his undying love? Tell her he was just being his usual stubborn self? Or let her go, since he was clearly incapable of giving her the relationship she deserved.
He sat back down at the bar and ordered a shot of firewhiskey. Getting pissed seemed the best option at the moment; maybe he would wake with a massive headache and the realization it had all been a nasty dream.
He knocked back the shot, relishing the fire it left in its wake, and promptly ordered another. And another. And one more. On his eleventh, the bartender squinted at him over his glasses, angering Draco.
"Don't look at me like that, you aren't my fucking Uncle!"
"He is not, but I am."
Draco groaned as he felt a hand close over the back of his collar.
"You aren't my real Uncle."
"Yes, thank the deities above for that. You have thirty seconds to explain why you think it is acceptable for a twenty three year old man with a disreputable past to be out in a shoddy bar drinking himself into oblivion at half past two in the bloody morning."
"Sod off Severus." Draco retorted. "I don't owe you any explanations."
"I assure you, I've no real investment in your romantic endeavors, but when your poor mother, who has nothing left in this world but an empty mansion and a dunderheaded son Floos me in hysterics because her sons fiancé came to the Manor and returned her engagement ring, it becomes my business." He snarled into Draco's ear. "Especially when it calls for me to leave my own warm bed, and the woman in it!"
"Oh boo-hoo, Severus Snape is missing out on a roll in the hay with his female friend, who happens to be in the middle of a rather messy divorce from a Weasel!" Draco crowed.
He felt his teeth rattle in his head the moment Severus pushed him against the wall.
"You will cease this foolish whinging immediately. It is no one's fault but your own that your relationship has failed."
"That's not true!"
"It is true, and you are well aware of it." He shot back.
Draco wanted to curse him, to punch and kick and spit on the man, but instead he found himself falling into his godfather's arms, as his body shook with hysterical sobs.
There was something cool and somewhat soft on his forehead. He opened his eyes and looked around blearily. A fire was roaring, and next to him sat...
"Hermione Granger." He mumbled in a cracked voice.
"Draco."
"Where am I? Because if you've gone and had your way with me, Severus will execute us both."
"I've done no such thing you blithering idiot." She scowled. "Severus brought you into our rooms around three this morning. You vomited all over his boots and on a throw rug before I managed to get you into bed."
"Right. Well, sorry about that. I'll be off momentarily." He sat up quickly, and experienced the worst head rush of his life. He moaned and fell back on the pillows again.
"Draco! Keep the bloody flannel on your forehead, you've an enormous bump."
"Bugger it." He snarled. "It's not as though I've anyone to look good for anymore!"
She sighed in exasperation. "Draco…"
"Don't Draco me!" he screeched. "I've had enough of everyone's pity! I know I'm a miserable arse, and it's my entire fault. It doesn't fucking mean I have to bloody like it!"
Hermione sighed again and pushed his hair away from his forehead in a soothing manner.
"Go back to sleep Draco." She said gently. "Just rest."
"It's been three whole days since I've had sleep." His voice cracked. "I dream of his lips on her cheek."
"Draco, I've told you a thousand times since the breakup that Charlie is just her business partner! Please listen to me!" she pleaded.
"I can't." he sobbed. "I can't." Hermione cradled him to her chest, looking over the top of his head at Severus, who was leaning against the door frame with a melancholy look.
"Shhh. Shhh, you're alright." She murmured into his hair. "You'll be fine."
Luna,
This is the fourth letter I have sent you. I realise our last meeting was an example of the immaturity I still possess, but it is my sincere hope you won't pitch this into the fire. I have spent these past weeks with Hermione and Severus, racking up the courage to put quill to parchment and write you. It has been excruciating for me to hear news of you out in the world with Charlie Weasley; I would prefer a Cruciatus to this. So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight. I know he's there. It is not easy for me to contemplate this. Never, in the four years we have been together, have I pictured myself with another woman or you with another man. I will admit, I have gone out a few times in the past week, but compared to your eyes nothing in these other women shine quite as we look to the sky, it's not mine but I want it. Because when I was with you, I felt as though I could reach up and grab it, and hold it in the palm of my hand. You changed me, Luna. You made me open my eyes and take in the potential I had, not as a pureblood, but as a human. I love you more than I ever thought possible.
Yours,
Draco
"I can't believe we're at Potter's wedding." Malfoy muttered under his breath to Snape. "Of all the unimaginable things…"
"I know what you mean." Snape growled back, pulling at the collar on his dress robes.
"Just think, soon they'll be procreating." He whispered gleefully into his godfather's ear. "You'll be teaching a Weasley Potter combination!"
Snape made a strangled noise and finished half of his gin and tonic in one gulp.
"Where's Herpes-I mean, Hermione?" Draco amended hastily as Severus shot him a baleful glare.
"The two of you may find it amusing to throw insults back and forth like second years, but I beg that you do not refer to my lover as herpes when you are around me."
"Why? Mouth sores don't make you randy? I personally find them to be-" A loud pop had everyone at the reception looking over to the corner where Severus was standing, sipping his drink and looking quite calm and collected.
"A balloon popped." He said in an unaffected voice. The party resumed, and Severus smirked in amusement at the balloon floating next to him, with the face of Draco Malfoy.
"Call her herpes again, and I will take a fork to you." He said in a low voice before waving his wand and returning Draco to his normal state.
"In all seriousness, it is good to see you somewhat back to normal." Severus said quietly.
"Getting sappy on me?"
"No, you idiot boy." He scowled. "I'm tired of you taking up all of my time."
Draco smiled and laughed, looking over Snape's shoulder at the rest of the party when rather suddenly the smile melted off of his face. Snape turned around and cursed silently. Lovegood and Charles Weasley were dancing around the room, laughing and joking.
"Draco…" he turned to his godson.
"Miserable at best." He muttered. "Didn't I tell you? I'll be miserable at best."
He pushed his way out of the tent, and stared up at the sky, ignoring the small tears that pricked the corners of his eyes. He had done more crying in the past two months than the average infant child, or so he thought. The grass was dewy, and he found himself slipping off his shoes. Luna loved being barefoot. She always said it brought her closer to nature. He whimpered in spite of himself. Oh, if his Father could see him now, standing in an open field, crying over a woman. It was everything Malfoy had been raised not to do. But that was the beauty about Luna. She could make you into something you never thought you were supposed to be.
"Everything you wanted to be." He whispered quietly.
"Are you talking to yourself? I told you a long time ago it's just the Wrackspurts."
He whirled around, heart in his throat. She was there, standing in a yellow dress that flowed off of her shoulders and brushed the ground, her hair falling in loose waves. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, and croaked like a bloody bullfrog.
"It's alright, you don't have to speak." She said. "I got your letters."
"You did?"
"Yes. You sent five." She replied.
"I know, I know. Listen, I got the point that I should leave you alone, Luna, I really do. But we both know that I'm not that strong." He whispered, and turned away again.
"Draco?" she said quietly.
"I miss the lips that made me fly." His voice cracked and he felt the tears run down his cheeks. His final humiliation. The nail in his coffin of misery. Crying in front of the woman who he had driven away, and yearned for since.
"Draco?" she said again.
"Yes?" he muttered, wiping away the traitorous tears.
"Could you please look at me?"
He turned very slowly, making sure no stray tears could be seen glistening on his cheeks. He knew his eyes were rimmed red, but that couldn't be helped.
"I thought very much about what you said to me in the pub that night." She began softly.
"I didn't mean-" She held up her hand to stop him from speaking.
"You said you would be miserable at best. And I thought you were being dramatic at first, but then I really thought about it, and you were right."
"I don't follow." He said blankly.
"Oh, Draco!" she laughed, a sound like bells tinkling and river water running over the rocks.
"I can live without you. These past few months have proved it. But without you, I'm miserable at best. Just like you said that night."
"Don't come out here and say that to make me feel better." He replied wearily.
"Draco Malfoy!" she practically shouted. "You listen to me."
"Right."
"Charlie and I really were only business partners. He asked me on a few dates after he found out we weren't together, and I did go on them, I won't lie to you. But he wasn't you."
She stepped closer to him.
"He doesn't say anything to me when I tell him about Daddy's health problems. He always tells me Crumple Horned Snorcacks aren't real. He isn't funny like you are, or well read. We don't have fulfilling conversations, and he treats me like his Mother. I realised that you changed, and sometimes you can't always tell me what you want to, because you weren't raised that way. I was very blind to you, and what you may have been feeling." She finished solemnly. "I hope you can forgive me."
"For-for-forgive you?" he stuttered. "Forgive you?"
"Yes, forgive me."
"Of course I'll sodding forgive you! For Merlin's sake, why do you even need to ask! It's you that should forgive me!"
"I already have."
He whooped, in a very un-Malfoy like manner, and picked her up, pressing his lips against hers hard. She giggled against his lips and he almost collapsed. He pulled her against him harder, and devoured her in the kiss, delighting in her soft little giggles, and then-
"Oi, take that somewhere else, will you Malfoy?"
They broke apart, Luna slightly sheepish, Draco smirking and draping an arm around her.
"Merlin, I'll pay for the room as long as I never have to see that again." Ginny Potter laughed. "It's about time the two of you got back together; we've been placing bets all week!"
"Then you'll understand me when I say we'll be leaving shortly to attend to some business."
"That's just like you Malfoy!" George sniggered. "Get the girl back and go rut like teenagers."
"Actually" Draco said, turning to Luna with a soft look in his eyes "We won't be doing any "rutting" as you put it, until Luna decides to."
"Then what's the mysterious business?" Hermione asked, her eyes shining.
"There's an engagement ring that belongs to Luna at the Manor." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "If she'll have me."
"I will." She smiled up at him. "I will."