The Adventures of Padmé's Other Decoy

A/N: Dummé is my creation (and I doubt she'd thank me) but the rest of this magnificent universe belongs to Disney and George Lucas's imagination. Also I know Padmé had more than one decoy but The Adventures of Padmé's Other Other Decoy looked too much like a typo.

Anyway enjoy and please review!

The first version of this chapter and the second chapter were written as narrated by Dummé, but since you also hear her thoughts (in italic type in the story) it seemed to confusing. So I've re-written it as a third person story. I hope this is clearer!

Chapter One

'Sabé, where is Sabé?' Someone was shouting outside her bedroom door. Dummé tried to shut her eyes tighter and hope whoever they were would go away and she could get back to sleep.

'She's sick,' a different, equally loud voice replied. 'Food poisoning.'

Uh oh, Dummé thought, still with her eyes closed. That might be because I quadruple dared her to drink a whole bottle of Alderaanian purple wine last night. Which was totally her fault, she so could have gone with 'Truth'…

'We have to find someone!' That was the first voice again. Dummé couldn't make up her mind whether to throw her pillow at the door or thread it through her ears. Didn't they know what time it was? She opened an eye and looked at the chrono.

Oh. The Queen is not going to be happy. I've never been this late before. Our heroine scrambled to put on her Handmaiden's dress.

'What about Cordé?' Second voice.

'She's visiting her family in the Western Lowlands. I guess there is the new girl.'

There was a weirdly long pause before the first voice replied. 'The new girl? Isn't she… uh kind of an airhead? And lazy? And a klutz?'

Yes, got the dress on! No, wait, it's backwards. Hang on…

A long sigh. 'She is. Still she's our only choice.'

Wait, I thought I was the newest Handmaiden? They must have hired an even newer girl.

Dummé never found out who that other girl they were talking about was because at that moment the door was flung open and two senior Handmaidens burst in. Before she could even open her mouth they'd taken her by the arms, sat her down in front of a mirror and started running a brush through her hair and going through her wardrobe.

The taller senior Handmaiden looked our heroine up and down. She saw a girl of forteen, not tall but pretty with dark brown hair and large brown eyes. It was uncanny: exactly the right height, build and face as the queen.

True the expression of total confusion and dress she'd somehow put on back to front were not encouraging signs, but she only had to look like Queen Amidala. Besides what choice did they have?

'Dummé, we need you to impersonate the queen,' the tall Handmaiden told our heroine, matter of factly.

'Me?' Dummé felt her jaw drop. She totally knew some of the other Handmaidens stood in for the queen, but she'd never done it.

I mean I know I sort of look like the queen. But not as much as Sabé right? She looked in the mirror and… wow, why didn't anyone tell me I looked so like the queen? We could be twin sisters or clones, except I think my eyes have a bit more sparkle. Take that Sabé!

I can do this. So what if I've only worked here for, like, three weeks. I'm super smart and hard working. Plus have you seen the queen's wardrobe? Holy Force!

'Well Dummé?' She suddenly realised she'd been lost in thought picturing all those gorgeous dresses. The senior Handmaidens were looking at her impatiently now, with the same expression a Rancor uses looking at a Bantha. Dummé decided to rise to the occasion with queenly dignity.

'I'll totally be the queen. For Naboo and Queen Amidala.' That sounded good to her ears. She felt super patriotic saying that and was very proud of me

It was kinda disappointing that the other two just hurried her out of the room (still wearing her dress the wrong way around.)

Maybe I need to work on my accent. How does the queen go?

'Uh, guys why are we rushing?' Dummé asked as she was bundled along the corridor. She saw troops in helmets running around. A lot of troops actually. What was going on?

'Well makeup and dressing takes three hours which should just give you enough time to be ready before the invasion starts.'

Oh, that made sense.

Wait.

Invasion?

Three hours and some panicking and hasty explanations later and Dummé was wearing the queen's gown and makeup. It looked fabulous and except for two slight issues she wouldn't have been happier. The first was that the queen's crown was a little on the heavy side. The second was that they were confronted by several armed droids and several smug Neiomidians. The queen (the real one), the other Handmaidens and Captain Panaka were there, along with some ancient politician whose name Dummé couldn't quite remember. Burble? Babble? Boggle? Perhaps I should have paid more attention in orientation.

I hope Padmé has a plan. I don't want to be shortest lived queen in Nabooese history.

'...how will you explain this invasion to the Senate?' Bilbo (Brannigan?) was saying to the head Neiomidian.

You tell him Baffle, Dummé thought and tried to look dignified and brave. Maybe tried a little too hard since she missed the Neiomidian's reply and suddenly realised they were looking at her. This is it, time to do my best Padmé impression.

'I will not co-operate.' It was a good line and she could see her side approving it. Maybe being queen wasn't so hard after all.

Nute Gunray was less impressed. 'Now, now, your Highness. In time, the suffering of your people will persuade you to see our point of view. Commander?'

One of those heavily armed droids stepped forward. 'Yes, sir!' it chirped.

'Process them.'

As the droids led us away and I realised Padmé did not have a plan I started wondering if it was too late to co-operate. I don't know what "processing" is but it sounds dangerous to one's health!

But she's your queen, Dummé felt her consience say in her head.

Look, concisence, I'm as loyal as the next girl but y'know being alive is even better than being loyal and "processed." If you were in my shoes you would feel the same (actually I'm in Padmé's shoes at the moment, but y'know what I mean right?)

Our heroine didn't have time to cut a deal with either her conscience or the Trade Federation because at that exact moment they were rescued by the Jedi.