Carter sat onto his bed after he had just eaten dinner; he felt that same overwhelming emotion of heartache washing over him. He's been having this feeling ever since Zia and Amos had left the Brooklyn House, even if Zia barely remembered him, making one of his greatest nightmares come to life. He let out a confused sigh as he fell back against his pillow, he didn't know if he felt this way because she was gone again, right after he had just retrieved her, or that she hadn't regained his trust yet.
He placed his hands behind his head, staring up at his ceiling, and he began to think. He thought of the time when she departed from the Brooklyn House:
2 A.M packed bags by the front door,
She's headed out with my heart in her pocket.
Am I dreaming?
No, he definitely wasn't dreaming. If he was, she would be back by now, ready to restart with him again.
I'm hoping now this was all just a big mistake,
(Especially with the fact that his first love was originally a shabti)
Finally know now that love's not a piece of cake.
Inside I'm screaming.
He was thankful enough that he wasn't crying too, Sadie would never let that die down.
Guess I'll be the one,
Hanging onto us,
Guess you'll be the one,
That breaks me.
He sure felt that she was breaking him, bit by bit, even if it was unintentional. She was just confused, lost with this new life and setting. He was frustrated that she couldn't accept him faster; he knew he would have to be patient if he wanted them to be together after she adapted. His thoughts then floated to the time when he was on his endless search for Zia:
It's been a week, and I'm having trouble sleeping.
You're miles away,
I don't know how long I'll last.
I wish time would go faster.
He came to the conclusion that this part of his life was harder now than then because he had finally found her, but yet he can't have her back. At nights he was restless, his legs still wanting to search, to never give up, while his mind wanted some shut eye. He was anxious because he didn't know where she was. At that point, he didn't know time could go that slow, he was always in a time constraint to fix things. His train of thought then turned to an original idea.
Guess I'll be the one,
Hanging onto us,
Guess you'll be the one,
That breaks me.
His thoughts then secretly pleaded out to her, wherever she may be currently:
Can we meet halfway?
To love another day?
He had secretly wanted to ask Zia, to compromise with her, if they could be together at a certain date. He would do anything to stop this endless distress. He already knew her answer, though. That's why he was afraid to ask her.
My life is passing me by, and now I'm filled with doubt.
Do you have open arms, or will you shut me out?
(That's one question he was afraid for the answer when Zia came home.)
Don't wanna live in the past of how we used to be,
If every step you take is one away from me.
His life was really passing him by, he was almost fifteen. But every day, he feels even worse about his relationship with her because it's not getting better. Besides, even if their past relationship was better than now, he didn't want it to be like that, but more enhanced: he wanted to hold her hand more than once. He wanted them to be closer to each other, happier. But, that wouldn't happen if she pushed the poor boy away, every time he attempted to talk with her.
Guess I'll be the one.
I don't wanna fade away…
I don't wanna fade away…
He personally felt like he was fading away from Zia's memory, even if he technically already had.