A/N: I know I'm not funny but I feel proud for writing this. Plus, I'm a little rusty when it comes to Death Note so I hope that I didn't suck too much. xD
Matt, Mello, and Near are © to Ōba Tsugumi and Obata Takeshi's Death Note; Story is © to moi~
"Winning isn't everything… It's just the only thing that matters." – Robin, Teen Titans
Matt sat outside the Wammy House, watching the smoke from his cigarette evaporate into the night air. He couldn't stand the noise coming from inside, so he thought it would be a nice place to get some peace.
He groaned, "Ugh… Someone needs to keep them quiet."
Clenching his fist, he growled as his partners Near and Mello argued, their voices raising without any regard to others who might want silence as well.
Without a word, he stomped back into the building to address his housemates. He flung the doors open, his face expressing irritation.
"Damn it! Can't you idiots be quiet for even five minutes? I can't have a decent smoke with you two arguing back and forth!"
Mello and Near quietly turned their heads to their annoyed friend, though Mello was the first to break the silence with this scoff.
"It's not my fault that the shrimp keeps whining about his toys. I can't even think in peace with his noise!"
The white-haired Near glared daggers at the ginger-haired Mello.
"You pawned my dice to buy your chocolate. Of course I would be angry, you moron."
A pissed off Mello grabbed Near by his shirt collar. "Who're you calling a moron, you snot-nosed brat! Say that to my face, I dare you!"
Still annoyed, Matt was quick to break the two up, prying them away before they had a chance to claw each other's eyes out.
"You're fighting over something this retarded? And here I am thinking it was something serious, like some dirt on Kira."
He dropped them on the floor and crossed his arms. "Since the two of you can't behave like responsible boys, I've decided to have you guys play a game to shut you up."
Said two boys looked up at Matt who snickered to himself.
"For one entire day, until 8 AM, you guys'll be confined to a room together without any chocolate or toys to play with; I shouldn't hear any fighting from the two of you. If you two win, I'll buy you all the chocolate and toys you want. If you both lose, though, you have to pawn their favorite item for ten packs of cigarettes for me from each of you."
Mello and Near gave him a "You can't be serious" look, but Matt dragged them to an old, abandoned room upstairs. Despite their protests, he pushed them inside the room and locked the door.
This is a surefire plan, He grinned mischievously. I'll be getting twenty packs tomorrow! They'll probably start fighting in a matter of twenty minutes~
~ ღ ~
"Ugh… That guy is so going to pay for this…"
Mello seethed in the corner he had confined himself in, contemplating a plan to somehow escape this ridiculous game.
Near observed him, the same indifferent look on his face. "Don't even try to get out of it. It was your fault for raising your voice in the first place."
Mello glared at him, a vein pulsing crazily above his eyebrow. "I wasn't raising my voice, you little twit!" He suddenly realized the bet and quickly became silent.
The quieter boy rolled his eyes. "Maybe if you hadn't sold my dice for some measly candy, we wouldn't have gotten in trouble with Matt."
Again, Mello scoffed, dismissing his lecture. "Let it go, will ya? It's just for one day and Matt will buy us whatever we want. So just shut and play with your fingers or something. Your voice is irritating."
Glaring, Near quietly walked to the other side of the room and pouted slightly. "Someone of my intellectual caliber is too mature to do something as simple as play with my fingers. You on the other hand…"
"Will you shut up already?"
"Matt will hear you."
"I'll just tell him that I'm singing!"
"Then he'll think you're crazy and have you committed to a sane asylum. Though that wouldn't be half bad… I wouldn't have to hear your constant bit-"
"Arrgh!"
For the next few hours, the night seemed peaceful until both Mello and Near woke to the sound of loud rock music playing downstairs.
Mello stood up and rammed his fist into the door a few times.
"MATT, OR WHOEVER'S DOWNSTAIRS, WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?"
His voice seemed to fall on deaf ears when the music grew louder. At once Mello's tired face grew red as he screeched at the top of his lungs,
"SHUT UP, DO YOU HEAR ME? IT'S THREE O' CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND I NEED TO SLEEP!"
There was no answer, which only made Mello angrier. He was seconds away from cussing someone out before he heard Near talking to himself.
"What…are you doing?"
Near looked from his side of the room and at Mello. "I'm solving equations in my head… Unlike you, I can calm myself down without having to raise my voice."
Mello narrowed his baggy eyes. "You've got a lot of arrogance to be talking to me like that."
The boy shrugged. "Not like it really matters. You're only one level higher than me; it's not like I'm scared of you. You're not even as smart as me."
When Near turned his back, Mello gritted his teeth, trying his best to go back to sleep. Ooh, if only he had a noose in his hands. He wouldn't hesitate to kill someone at that moment.
Just a few more hours… He told himself, You can do this…
His thoughts were cut off when his stomach grumbled loudly. Near couldn't help but snicker, almost to the point of laughter, but before he could let out a sound, his own stomach let out a roar.
The two exchanged glances of disgust, which soon turned into glares…only for their stomachs to grumble even louder and, this time, more viciously.
Lying down on the cold floor, they shuddered in annoyance. "I can't take this…"
~ ღ ~
The rest of the night seemed somewhat peaceful. Mello and Near had finally managed to sleep at five in the morning, despite the cold floor and the music that was purposely playing loudly downstairs.
Matt sat on a couch downstairs, playing one of his favorite video games…that he had been playing for the past five hours. He took notice of the solitude in the house and smiled.
"I should do this more often…but-" He stood up and put down the game controller, pressing the 'Pause' button. "-I should check to see if the children have not starved to death."
Heading upstairs and to the abandoned room, he knocked on the door. His happy voice reached Mello and Near's ears.
"Hey, you guys still alive in there?"
Footsteps could be heard and Mello was the first to reach the door.
"Who was the idiot that decided it was a good idea to play loud music at 3 in the effin' morning?"
Laughing inwardly, Matt replied with an indifferent, "Dunno. I wasn't here." Then he smiled. "Well, the time for the bet is almost up and you boys have been good for one whole day. Like I promised, I'll buy you good little children whatever you want."
Unlocking the door, he took hold of the doorknob and turned…but it seemed to be stuck. He stared in confusion and tried again. It didn't budge.
"What's the matter?" Near asked, irritated.
Matt tried to turn the doorknob once again, only to get the same result. Then he realized the problem: the doorknob was broken. The young man smiled to himself when an idea popped into his mind.
"Sorry, guys, but you'll be staying in this room for a while longer. I don't think I wanna waste my money on you two, knowing you'll just fight again."
There was silence as both Mello and Near's jaws dropped. The sound of Matt's shoes lessened as he walked away from the door. It would be a while until he found a locksmith to bust them out…that is…
If he didn't forget them in the next few hours~