Everything to be So Clean

Rin's porcelain skin felt like silk beneath his fingers. Her breathing was erratic and heavy, breast rising and falling swiftly under his own. The cross at the end of his necklace rested between her bosom, and he found himself chuckling at the irony. She planted soft butterfly kisses down his bare shoulder, raking her fingers across his back as he moved inside of her. He brought a hand to her breast, palming it gently and basking in the deep moan that this caused. Full lips parted and her legs encircled him. It seemed as though she was trying to mold into his own lithe figure, but the girl was just so pale. Her hair was so terribly dark, eyes like coal and curves like mountains. 'Fuck', he cursed inside his head. 'Someone would be so thrilled to have her in his bed.'

It was funny, because he wasn't.

Her groans gradually sounded more and more like, 'Harder!' and those goddamn nails dug into his abused flesh. He thrust into her forcefully, savoring the softness and warmth that her body provided. She smirked at his blank expression.

"Don't you ever smile anymore, love?"

For a moment, his eyes met her's, but they were blood red and full of such a drive to live that it startled him. Her skin became tan and her fingers, rough and calloused. She glared at him over her freckled nose, scowling through messy, sweaty orange bangs. Surely this was not Rin. No, this was an angel.

"Don't you ever smile, stupid cow?"

He smiled.

'Yes, but only for you.. Kyo.'

The raven haired woman's claws stabbed into his shoulders, snapping him out of his fantasy with a white-hot flash of pain.

"Don't be so rough."

He muttered, grasping her wrists and pinning them above her head. Her full, pale breasts bounced as he thrust in and out, and he looked away, first into her empty black eyes, then at her captured wrists. The cat would fight against him. He wasn't as easily domesticated as the horse.

He sucked gently at the older woman's collarbone, tasting sweat and the sweet flavors of her skin. He wondered how Kyo tasted, how he would look with his arms pinned above his head as Haru fucked him into his mattress. He groaned, grinding his hips into the fragile form beneath him and ignoring her shocked gasp.

"Shit Haru! Yes, that's more like it!"

He felt his heart crawl into his throat.

He shouldn't have been using her.. He should have turned her away when she showed up at his apartment earlier that day, reasoning that she'd been in the neighborhood and decided to catch up with an old ex-boyfriend. He should have pulled back when she'd kissed him later that night, after chatting over coffee, then dinner, until the sky had grown dark and it was apparently too late for her to find her way home. Then, he should have rejected her when she coiled her arms around his neck, rubbing her chest against his own and stroking him through the material of his jeans. Maybe then he wouldn't be in this situation, making love to a woman that he'd long since fallen out of love with, and fantasizing about a man that he hadn't seen in months.

"Haru! Oh shit, Haru! I'm gonna, I'm- I-!"

She arched into him, muscles convulsing and nails gripping at him so tightly that he was sure she had drawn blood. He rode through her orgasm, unaware of anything but his troubled thoughts, somehow seeing red in her coal black eyes, and orange in that inky hair.

"K-"

He growled, plunging into the poor, exhausted, unaware horse-cursed, who was too busy struggling to catch her to notice the noise he was making.

He imagined what that tan skin would feel like beneath his fingers, as he tweaked a caramel nipple, causing the older boy to cry out softly. He imagined the tightening of muscles as he entered him, those strong, rough fingers grasping at his shoulders painfully as he took the cat for the very first time. He could just feel those pretty lips against his own, and taste all of the wonderful flavors that had to be hiding behind them. He wanted, needed, to feel that completion. To be one with the orange haired man and never have to let go, but..

The cat was gone.

Kyo, who had lit up his life so quickly, and swept him so completely off of his feet without even noticing. Kyo, who was so beautiful and so charmingly naive.

Kyo, who had rejected him. Kyo, who he'd never gotten to kiss, or hug, or take for his own. Kyo.. who was married happily to Tohru Honda, living his dream life hundreds of miles away..

Kyo, who haunted his dreams each and every night.

"K-"

He stuttered, holding tight to the black haired girl's wrists as he reached his end.

"Ky-Kyo!"

He hissed, seeing white as the world began to spin around him. In all of his dizziness and confusion, he felt only Rin's warmth around him, imagining that it belonged to someone else, praying that when he opened his eyes, he would be greeted by tan skin and determined, crimson eyes.

He shivered as the bliss receded, releasing the horse's arms. He wouldn't open his eyes just yet. No, he just needed to lie with Kyo a little longer.

It was silent, save for their breathing, and Rin's skin still felt soft as silk beneath his fingers.

For all he knew, he told himself, he could be sleeping with the cat when he awoke.

Resting his head on the horse's chest, he still hadn't opened his eyes.

"I didn't know you were one for cuddling, love."

The dark haired woman drew out softly, running her fingers through the forest of black and white that tickled her skin.

"Yes."

He muttered, willing himself to sleep.

'But only for you... Kyo.'

fin.

–

I like angst a lot, honestly.

Inspiration came from the song "Clean" by Pete Yorn.

Dedication goes to Disgruntled the 8th dwarf, because I was creeping on her profile and found out that she'd planning to write a Kyo x Haru story, which is sooooo exciting to me. It's also Christmas time, which means that I start giving away stories as gifts because that's all I'm really good at.

So, feedback would be nice, but I won't die if you don't review, don't worry. (But maybe I'll die of happiness if you do? Why don't you test it out?)