"Something up with James"
(Mrs. K)
James had been doing things lately that I have been questioning. He had been getting caught up in situations with Carlos that I thought were a little risqué. They were awfully touchy lately and they were getting into a lot of fights. Playful of course, but they could be a little more physical than what I thought teenage boys were used to. I had decided to move James from a room with Carlos to a room with Logan instead. However, that did not work out as they were doing the same thing. I saw them holding hands and I saw them wrestling on the floor laughing and rough housing. Now I know my boys well, but I think that this was a little much even for them.
This was going on long enough with him and Logan, so I moved them back into their own rooms with Carlos and Kendall respectively. I thought that it was time that I confronted James about his "playful" nature with the other guys. "James honey could you come here for a second?" I asked. James came over and sat down on the couch and the others guys were in the game room playing Mario Kart. "James honey, I want to talk to you about something." I stated. "Yeah sure, what is it Mama Knight?" He questioned that perfect smile of his. That was another thing that concerned me. The fact that a teenage boy spent that much time on his hair and his teeth. It was not normal, but I let that go for now.
"Dear, I have been watching you for a while and I think that you might be playing for the other team if you know what I mean?" I told him. James was flabbergasted to say the least that I had said that to him. "Mrs. K, I like girls. I don't like guys, well I like them, but not in that way!" He said back. "Oh well then, I guess I should just overlook the touching, the wrestling, the hand-holding, the staring, and the flirting that you have been doing lately with all of them. James, I don't care what you do with your love, all I'm asking is that you try to channel it somewhere outside the sphere of this apartment." I stated with my hands motions. "Okay first of all, the touching is kind of tolerated because we are best friends and we can do that since we are, we wrestle because we are guys and friends and sometimes with do that, the hand holding was an accident, I do not stare at them they stare at me, and I do flirt with them!" James said to me with his arms crossed. "You do flirt with them?" I questioned. "No, no I mean that I don't flirt with them. God, it was just a word slip up!" James yelled back excitedly. He looked like a deer in the headlights after he had done that.
It could have been a verbal mess up or he could have let his true feelings slip. Needless to say I was on the case. I let James move back in with Carlos and I was watching for them to do anything that would cause anyone to be suspicious of them. They were pretty normal so far, but then Carlos started something. "Hey, you used my tooth paste!" He shouted at James. "Did not." He replied. "Yes, you did, it has so damn Cuda smell on it." Carlos said back. That man spray was weird even for James. "It was just this one time Carlos, I ran out!" James yelled back as he went back to his Men's Fitness magazine. Another sign that he was doing something a little out there. Carlos grunted to himself and went back to stacking his blocks together. Yes he still played with children's blocks, that boy was strange too.
(James) "God, Mrs. Knight has been watching me a lot lately." I said to the guys, as we were alone for a little while as she went out to go shopping or something. "That's weird of her, why would she do that?" Kendall, my blonde haired best friend asked. "She thinks that I'm gay." I replied simply. The other guys started laughing at the expense of my "gayness." "Guys, it's not funny!" I yelled at them. "She thinks that you're gay. Oh god, this is so going on Twitter!" Carlos said aloud. "No, you're putting this on Twitter. It's weird, she thinks that I'm gay because I do weird stuff with you guys." I stated. "Like what?' Logan chimed in. "That I touch you guys, wrestle, and do all kinds of other touchy feely crap." I said with some disgust at the thought. Don't get me wrong I love the guys, but not that way.
"How are we supposed to help you with this?" Logan asked. "I just want you guys to not try to make me do the kinds of things that she is saying. Please guys it's creepy to have your friend's mom telling you that you are gay and stuff." I begged. "Yeah sure whatever." They all agreed. Great now I could begin the operation of stopping Mrs. Knight was thinking that I was well you know…
(Mrs. K) "So, how am I going to help him through this?" I asked myself in a hushed voice. I wanted to make James comfortable in the apartment and that we all accepted him and what not. I was looking for a card. They always had a card for this kind of stuff. "Hello there, how can I help you?" The clerk asked me. I told the boys that I was out shopping, but I was really doing this, which is kind of the same thing. I'll have to work on the scheming part later, but first the card. "Hi, do you have a card that makes a newly found gay person feel comfortable around the people that don't know yet?" I asked with a Minnesotan smile. "Oh yes of course." The clerk replied. "Nailed it." I thought to myself. This was going to be so great and I would be such a good mother. I can see it now they make their own breakfast; they do their own laundry, ah good thoughts.
I came back later that day and found that everything had been blown up, which was a good sign coming from these boys. I started making dinner and the boys were on me like a pack of ravenous hyenas. "Back dogs." I said which got their attention. No wonder Gustavo liked calling them that it works. They went back to their rooms until dinner was ready and then they came out and started to eat. James was a little picky lately, so I asked, "You don't like it?" James's head snapped up and then he responded with, "No, it's just that I'm trying to go the California Diet Path and Dinosaur Chicken Nuggets aren't exactly. So he was dieting, another thing in common with gay men.
"I'm just going to have a salad instead." He said. This was not helping his cause. I cleaned the dishes after all went back to their rooms to digest their food. I made James stick around. "James, I got you a little something." I stated happily. He got excited, "Oh is it a sweater, dear God I hope that it's sweater." Oh this boy needed some help with his clothes fetish. "No, it's a card and I had the boys sign it." I said. They did not really sign; their handwriting is terrible so I can just forge it. James looked the card over and looked troubled. "They want you to be happy James." I said. "No, I'm not gay Mrs. Knight. I told you already." James replied to me. "James honey, you have nothing to hide here. We all understand." I coaxed. "Mrs. K, no I am not gay. I have a major crush on…" James stopped himself. "Who? Carlos or Logan because I see those two as the ones you like the most." I stated.
(James) God this was awkward, this lady was thoroughly convinced that I was gay. I mean sure I used a lot of man spray and worked out a lot, and did my hair for an hour a day minimum, but that doesn't mean I'm gay. I stormed out of the room to ask the guys how they were handling this. "Which one of you wrote on this?" I asked loudly as they were all in Logan's room. "None of us why?" Kendall replied back. "Then why is your handwriting all over it?" I asked with an hmmm. "I never wrote this." Kendall said. "Me neither." Logan said. "Not me." Carlos said lastly. "Then why does it look like you hand writing hmmm?" I asked again. "Maybe someone forged it?" Logan suggested. "He may be right." Kendall stated. "Maybe Mrs. Knight did it, she did it that one time when she wanted us to go the Donkey Plaza Extravaganza in fourth grade." Carlos said back.
"Come on, my mom would not do that. But I still think that it is hilarious that she thinks your gay." Kendall said to me. I punched him in the arm. "Ow, not cool." He said. "Guys, can you please help me tell her that I'm not gay, this has to stop." I said. "Alright." They all agreed. We all went out and stared at her with our arms crossed, well I just did that and they stood behind me, but that is beside the point. "Care to explain why you think that I play for the other team?" I asked her. Mrs. Knight turned around and was astonished to see all of them there.
(Mrs. Knight) "So you're all in a love rectangle or square, I get it now." I said. "Mom!" Kendall yelled. "No, it all makes sense, the way you guys always touch each other, you always fight about the most stupid things. And you all play hockey together. Now I know why you guys like all that contact." I stated. "No mom, none of us are gay. Carlos like Stephanie, Logan is dating Camille, and I am dating Jo." Kendall replied. "What about him?" I pointed at James and asked. "Well…" Kendall trailed off. "Kendall!" James snapped back. "What, you haven't had a girlfriend yet here." Kendall said back. "I thought you had my back on this." James said to him. "Oh trust me he has more than just your back." I said as I laughed. "Mom, not cool." Kendall said to me.
(James) "This seriously has to end." I stated. I wasn't thinking with what I did next. I walked over to Mrs. Knight and kissed her on the lips. The other guys were shocked and stood there with their mouths open. So did Mrs. K and she replied with, "Wow, I was wrong." "You bet you were." I said back. "Dude, gross…" Carlos said with astonishment and disgust. "What, oh…" I realized what I had done. Well at least they would not think I was gay anymore…
A's N: That ending took me a while, but it was worth. Hope you guys found it funny. This is my first story, so please review and comment on how you think I am as a BTR storyteller. Or you can message me with your favorite moment from the story!