All seemed peaceful in the heavens, as the gods went back and forth about their business in the glowing sunlight. But, as usual, the silence and peace was broken by the groaning and whining of a certain goddess...
"Damn! I'm so fucking bored!" Kanzeon Bosatsu whined, stretching out leisurely on her chair and rubbing her temples in frustration. "Jiroushin, there's nothing to do!"
Her servant sighed, wishing he could be any place but there. The title of "merciful goddess" was such a deceiving label, as Kanzeon was always so moody and lazy, and her temper was such that regardless of how 'merciful' she could be, she most likely wouldn't be. As of late, she seemed to be ignoring all the other mortals down below on earth to focus solely on the band of four rowdy misfits known as the Sanzo party...
Jiroushin looked back at her, shaking out of his thoughts due to the dry look she was giving him. He sighed again.
"Have you checked in to see how the Sanzo party is doing recently? Perhaps they can provide you with some decent entertainment."
Kanzeon leaned back against her arms, staring at the ceiling and letting out a sigh of her own. "As entertaining as watching those four can be, I have to admit their routine is starting to get a little tedious."
After a minute, she continued. "They're always fighting demons, demons, the occasional crazed Sanzo-phile, oh, and more demons! And no matter how far west they seem to have gone, they still haven't reached Gyumoah yet! Even though that brat Kogaiji and his group always seem to find them, challenge them, and then run back home all in such a short amount of time!"
Kanzeon sighed heavily in exasperation. "I swear, only Konzen himself could be so boring and unreasonable..."
Jiroushin nodded, seeing that she had a point.
Looking thoughtful for a moment, the merciful goddess happened upon a brilliant idea. A deliciously brilliant idea that was sure to mess with her reincarnated nephew and his little group. She smirked almost evilly. Oh, the look on his face...it's going to be fucking priceless...
Her servant shuddered at that gleam in her eye and twitch in her smile, knowing all too well that she had a plan to shake things up for the heroes down on Earth. And as usually, he was sure that neither he nor the other gods of heaven would approve of it one bit...
Kanzeon turned her gaze to him and smiled wider, almost making him jump. Jiroushin sighed again before crossing the room and standing beside her, looking slightly frustrated.
"So...what are you planning to do?" He knew better than to expect a direct answer though...
She rested her chin on her hands, entwining her fingers and continuing to smile impishly. "You needn't worry yourself over this, Jiroushin. Just let me take care of everything." There was a special call she needed to make first, but things would soon be underway.
And Sanzo was going to be in for one hell of a surprise...
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"Oi, stupid monkey! On your left!"
Gook turned back to the red-headed kappa nearby and growled in annoyance. "Stop calling me th-" He yelped and fell back as a demon suddenly came up on his left and punched him square in the jaw.
"Told ya!"
The rest of the group was busy fighting off a massive group of demons that had stormed out of the mountains that morning, trying to take them by surprise. It had worked, but the demons were quickly discovering that these four fighters were stronger than they looked...
"Fuck!" One shouted, red eyes widening in pained surprise. "This isn't possible! How could Lord Kougaiji have underestimated them!"
"WHAT? KOUGAIJI AGAIN! GOD, WHEN THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT GOING TO END?" Gojyo bellowed angrily, slicing through several demons that had tried to surround him. They shrieked in pain and fell to the ground in bloody heaps.
"Well, he certainly is a persistent one, isn't he?" Hakkai laughed, sending out small blasts of chi left and right. "At least we'll never be out of shape, at this rate."
The blond monk nearby grumbled irritably, cocking his banishing gun and firing several shots into a tall demon in front of him. He wasn't particularly one for witty banter in the middle of a fight...
The youngest member of the team was back on his feet quickly, swing his Nyoi-Bo almost like a baseball bat and smirking as it impacted on its targets. Sure, the demons were annoying as hell, but they still didn't take much to get rid of, when you got right down to it.
"Get the fuck off me, dickwad!" The redhead shouted, stomping and kicking down on a bleeding demon who had grabbed his leg and was trying to bite him. "Just hurry up and die!"
Finally, the attacking hoard was reduced down to nothing. Sanzo sighed and wandered back to his sleeping bag. "Geez...too fucking early for this..." Gojyo laughed behind his back.
"Old droopy eyes over there sure does get pissy in the morning, right Goku?" The younger boy laughed with him for a minute before two shots rang out and a bullet whizzed by each of their heads, plowing into the trees right behind them. After a minute of silence, Gojyo snapped.
"You trying to kill us, you sadist monk?"
Cold, unforgiving eyes stared back at him, making him gulp and shiver slightly.
"I wonder if your head is thick enough to stop a bullet..." Sanzo replied, almost casually. But it was that tone that made the threat sound much more serious. Gojyo and Goku merely backed away, deciding it was better not to bother him. Instead, they moved over to where Hakkai stood by the jeep.
"Hakkai! What's for breakfast! I'm starving!" Whined the monkey.
"You're always hungry! Half of our food always goes into that fucking bottomless pit you call a stomach!" Gojyo teased back, hitting the boy on the head quickly before he continued walking to the car, leaving Goku rubbing the bump and glaring at his back.
"Ow! Stupid cockroach kappa! Why're ya always hittin me?"
Hakkai sighed as he watched the two arguing. It was best to stay out of it.
"Well, whenever you two are hungry, the food's over here. I'm afraid that, with our limited funds, we could only really afford to buy manju buns..."
"Manju! Yay!" Goku sped over to the jeep, proceeding to stuff his face as usual.
"Oh boy, that crap again...Damn it, Hakkai! When are we going to get some real food?"
"Shut up, unless you want to be eating dirt six feet underground..."
The redhead flinched as his head snapped over to the supposedly sleeping monk. God, he's fucking scary like that...
All in all, it was turning out to be a pretty average day.
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"Goku! Don't wander too far please! We're heading to the next town in less than an hour!"
The boy looked back over his shoulder, smiling. "Got it, Hakkai! Just wanted to see if there was anything I could eat over here!" He was crouched in front of a large bush that had many ripe berries growing out from its limbs, and he looked like he was about ready to shovel them all in right then and there.
Gojyo hoisted a box of supplies onto his shoulder, going to load it up into the jeep. "You're just gonna get sick if you eat those, kid. Stuff like that's more likely to give you a bad case of the shits."
"Gojyo, that's nasty!"
"Hey, just sayin!"
But before Goku could say yell at him again, a sudden sort of ooze erupted from his feet and began climbing up his body, clinging to him and making it harder to move.
"Ah! Hey! What the hell is this!"
"Goku!"
Hakkai's shout alerted Sanzo, who shot up at lightning speed. As soon as he saw what was happening, he cursed and grabbed his gun, running to Goku quickly. The others were up and following him almost immediately, as they ran to reach their struggling friend.
"Shit! Goku, what's happening?"
He shook his head, trying to fight off the dark substance making its way up his stomach. "I don't know! I can't get it off!" It climbed higher until it was right at his neck, threatening to submerge his whole head soon.
The others reached him, and Gojyo hissed and pulled back in pain when he tried to touch the substance. "Fuck, that burns!"
Hakkai looked at him seriously. "Don't touch it, Gojyo! We don't know what that stuff will do!" Turning back to the monkey, he asked frantically, "Goku, is it burning?"
"YES!" He cried, struggling harder and screaming. "GET IT OFF ME!"
Sanzo pulled out his gun and quickly fired at it, scaring the other three in the process. The bullet just bounced off and flew away, and Goku sighed shakily with relief while Hakkai looked angry.
"Sanzo! You could have killed him!"
"Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do?" The blonde monk yelled back, a small, frantic look barely hidden in his eyes. Another scream from Goku quickly snapped his attention back again.
The ooze was closing around him fast, and Goku looked completely panicked.
"SANZO! HELP ME!" Then, he was completely encased, and the material began to glow brightly.
"Goku!"
"What the fuck is going-"
"BOTH OF YOU GET DOWN!"
A sudden blast shook the area, sending the three fighters flying back and slamming into trees in the force of the explosion. Once the blinding light had cleared and the shaking subsided, they slowly sat back up and tried to make sense of things.
Gojyo sat up first, holding his head.
"Ow! Fucking ow! Can someone explain what just happened, cuz I'm confused as all hell!"
Sanzo shook his head and stood up, running straight to where Goku had been. The kid might be a pain in the ass, but the monk still wanted to make sure he was alright...
"Goku! What hap..."
Sanzo took a minute to register the figure lying on the ground in front of him, pulling out his gun with inhuman speed and pointing it at him threateningly. As Hakkai and Gojyo ran over, wondering what had gotten into the monk, when they stopped and gaped beside him...
"You're not Goku."
The dark-haired, dark-eyed figure blinked up at them in a sideways glance, looking slightly dazed and very confused, but his answer was completely honest.
"Yes I am."