Daddy Saiyan
By Ice Queen
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. Big surprise, no?
"Daddy, tell me the story of the big bad saiyan
again?"
"Trunks, it's past the woman's bedtime for you and I
have training to do! Now go to sleep
you ungrateful brat." The voices,
though low, carried into the hallway, causing a very strange reaction from a
well know passerby.
"If you don't tell me I'll tell Goten that you still
put me to bed!" The child's voice
called out slightly tauntingly.
"And then Gohan will find out!" The five year old knew exactly what buttons to push, Bulma
thought proudly.
"Alright, but just this once, and then you go to sleep
or I knock you out." Vegeta
grumbled. Bulma put down the book she
had been taking to her room and sat on the floor next to the door. This would be interesting, she thought.
"Once upon a time there was a powerful saiyan. His size didn't matter because he was the
most powerful of the fighters in the galaxy."
In other words he was short... Bulma thought, trying not to
laugh. The voice continued, husky
enough to make the child fall asleep at any time. "This saiyan had just finished a large battle, and was very
very hungry. He knew that if he waited
long enough Little blue screaming shrew would come through the woods to her
fathers house."
Little blue-WHAT?? Bulma wanted to scream, but this was
still too good a chance to pass up, so she held her tongue. "Little Blue screaming shrew always
brought treats to her father, and the saiyan knew if he could get to her before
she got to her father he could steal her treats, and maybe even make her cook
and clean for him. The saiyan was above
such petty household chores." She
could almost see the five year old nodding wisely.
"And one day, just as the very intelligent saiyan had
predicted, Little blue came driving by.
She was pretty good looking for not being a saiyan, so he stopped her
bike and demanded her food, rather then killing her outright." The voice
jumped a few decibels, mangling an attempted female voice. "I would never cook for a bum like
you! You killed my boyfriend! She
screamed." The voice paused as the
child laughed loudly. It then returned
to normal again. "Little Blue was
always one to hold petty grudges, even though the boyfriend was a looser."
"So the saiyan grabbed the basket from her, rather then
debate on who he had killed and who his little green lackies had killed for
him. He took a bite of her cooking and
almost choked to death right then and there." Trunks laughter ricocheted through the hallway, making Bulma
smile despite the fact she had just been made fun of. "This was an amazing feat because the saiyan had eaten many
disgusting things in his life as a warrior.
After he regained the ability to breathe he was in awe of such
talent."
"She, being a screaming shrew, never noticed this new
respect and began scolding him. 'You shouldn't take things that don't belong to
you!' she said, making the saiyan confused. Then she drove off, leaving the
saiyan to wonder what in the hfil she was talking about." Bulma was having a very hard time keeping a
straight face at this point, but she couldn't laugh because she might have
missed a part of the story.
"By the time the saiyan had figured out what she had
done little blue screaming shrew had been long gone for a while. He had no choice but to wait for her one
more time. He figured that even if she
couldn't cook she could be a good housekeeper, and was strong enough that she
might even be a good mate. He wanted
his brats to be stronger then Kakkoratts. Kakkoratt was the goofy saiyan down
the street."
"So the next day he waited in the same spot as before,
and just as he predicted, little blue screaming shrew came driving down the way
on her dinky little scooter. He jumped
out in front of her, making her screech and run crashing into a tree. The saiyan knew that she was a weakling, and
a little bump into a tree might possibly kill her so he grabbed her before she
hit. But little blue screaming shrew
could have cared less, merely taking out a large skillet and hitting the poor
saiyan over the head." Vegeta
sounded quite miffed at this point but Trunks found it hilarious, obviously
imagining his mother knocking his father out with an overly large skillet.
"The saiyan growled at her, knowing that many great
fighters would run screaming at the sound, but she obviously didn't know what
was best for her, because all she did was start complaining again. Finally her yelling was too much for the
saiyan and he turned, walking away and plotting. He knew that she treated him like a punk because he had somewhat
of a reputation as a mean guy, but he wondered how she would treat someone she
liked." Trunks snorted, knowing
that there wasn't much difference, even Bulma had trouble not laughing at this
idea.
"So the next day instead of waiting for little blue to
show up in the woods the saiyan went straight to her fathers house. After *Cough* gently knocking the old man
into unconsciousness the saiyan put on the old guy's white coat and climbed
under one of the machines he was always working on. Soon the door opened and little blue came running in, her basket
on her arm as always." Vegeta's
voice jumped again into his badly done rendition of Bulma, making both Trunks
and her smirk.
"'Hello father!
I brought you some food and a new copy of that playboy that you so
enjoy!' She said, almost making the saiyan jump. She walked closer, curious as to why her father refused to
respond and looked him over closely. 'Why father! What big calves you have!' she said, probably wondering when her
father had started wearing spandex. The
saiyan choked, thinking quickly. 'The better to... take walks with you my
dear.' He said, pleased at his quick wit."
"She went on, checking out things that most would never
think of on their fathers. 'Why father!
What a nice butt you have!' she stated, almost making the world-weary
saiyan turn red. 'Umm... why thank you
my dear, I've been... uhh... working out.' He replied. 'I bet mom really appreciates that!' She
stated knowingly, causing the warrior to sit up abruptly in horror. You see, he knew her mother and any mention
of that strange lady was enough to make him want to hide. She started laughing then, completely
unaware of the danger she was in.
"Why father! What big hair
you have!' she cried. By this time she
was rolling on the floor, much to the disgust of the saiyan." By this time in real life Trunks was braying
like a donkey, tears of laughter streaming down his face. Even Vegeta had a slight smirk on his face,
knowing that the only two who would know of this were the brat and the woman
sitting out in the hall.
Bulma was laughing as well, sure that her sons laughter
would conceal her own. When they had
finished Vegeta started again, a slight trace of humor in his voice that even
he couldn't conceal. "The saiyan glared down at her, knowing that even he
would have a hard time making her behave.
'Why father...' She choked out between gales of laughter, 'What great
arms you have!' The saiyan smirked, then easily replied. 'The better to beat
you with!' he stated, grabbing her and slinging her over his shoulder. Soon the saiyan had little blue screaming
shrew just where he wanted, cooking and cleaning for him like a good little
mate." Vegeta smirked at the
muffled gasp of outrage from the hallway.
"And then they had a brat of their own, one who
promised to be just as strong if not stronger then the Kakkoratt brats."
Trunks smiled sleepily, burying further into his sheets as his father ruffled
his hair lightly. "Now go to sleep,
brat. We start training in the
morning." With a muffled good
night the little half saiyan did just that.
Vegeta walked out, startling Bulma by looking down with a
smirk. "So woman, do you need a
bedtime story too?" She cocked her
head, contemplating.
"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" She asked, oddly withdrawn.
"What makes you think I didn't?" He asked, walking by with a small
smirk. She watched, wondering if she
had been caught off guard once again and just hadn't noticed. Then she smiled and admired his butt as he
walked away.
The end.
