Life is a funny thing. Everyone gets that conclusion in their early stages of life when they discover that most questions do not come with one straight answer. Is Bigfoot real? Are there only nine planets? Do you choose your life for yourself or for the people around you? What is it that you really want? There are too many answers, but it is rare for two people to come up with the same one.
She was laying in the dark when she thought of all of this. She did not want to check the time, because she was afraid that he would wake up if she turned her head the slightest bit. Besides, she did not want to see him awake. No matter how troublesome her thoughts were, she was able to smile when she saw that he was in a deep sleep. It was the way he laid on his side, one arm behind his head and one arm around her waist. It was they way she felt like she did not have to make any choices when it was just the two of them. They both needed to get away from the world, their worlds. She knew that his family was killing him, but she did not know if there was anything he would do about it. Independence was something that took time to get used to and while he had a habit of making his own rules, she was not sure if he could defy his family for long.
In her own world, she was afraid of being cut into three parts. There was the girl that her mother wanted her to be, the girl that was going to make a name for herself for being a highly acclaimed reporter. The girl that came from a mother who was supposed to amount to nothing. Then there was the girl that her grandparents wanted to be. The girl that stayed home and made sure that the house was in order so that she and the family could spend a week in the Hamptons. But who did she want to be? That was when the third part came in. She could not think of a time when she was just herself. Even her name belonged to someone else, and every other name belonged to the flavor of the week. Lorelai. Rory. Mary. Ace. She was supposed to be all of these people but she still did not know who she really was.
In a perfect world, her life would be a Lifetime movie. She would overcome the odds that came with being raised by a single mother but she would also have the side of her that came from privilege. None of that would matter though, because she would have conflict with both sides of the family until they all realized what was best for her. She would work at the New York Times for a while, she would eventually go to work for CNN, and some time when it was just right she would marry the man she went through all of the trouble for. Their families would give the happy couple their blessings and they would be their own people in a modest estate in Upstate New York. They would just be Rory and Logan. In a perfect world.
If only that was the case. If life was so easy she wouldn't be laying in bed thinking beside someone she had a chance at a future with. His parents would not hate her, and her family would be supportive of every aspect of the relationship that they had. If life was easy she would not have so many options, but someone must have been getting a laugh out of it. How much time had passed? She furrowed her brow at the sudden thought, still keeping still as not to wake him. It could not have been long. She really needed to see what time it was. With a soft sigh of frustration, she swept her hand along the side of the bed, inching down towards the ground for her cellphone. After a handful of what felt like minutes, she felt it in her hand and picked it up, flipping it open to see the time. 3:22. The time that she had finally decided.