This is a story for all of the band geeks who read Harry Potter, as I know there are many of you.
It will consist of short, humorous chapters told from the view of many different minor characters, always in third person. I have the twenty chapters sketched out, and you should expect weekly updates.
Reviews are very helpful.
I:
Professor Aidan Vector was, in most situations, a calm person. Barely ever was he openly distressed, and when he was, he could pull himself together fairly quickly.
"My dear professor, I have a favor to ask of you," said the white-bearded professor in an airy voice, clasping his hands over his desk. "Lemon drop?"
"No, thank you. May I inquire as to what you are asking of me, Albus?" questioned Professor Vector from the other side of the desk, looking nervously from side to side. A favor for Albus could be anything from licking an envelope to harvesting sphynx spleens, both of which had happend to Vector in the thirteen years he had worked at Hogwarts as an arithmancy professor. He was working very hard to forget the latter of the two.
"Aidan, I was walking down the hallway yesterday when I noticed something. Something recent and subtle, but something nonetheless..." Dumbledore's voice trailed off as he picked a little piece of something, most likely from the prior day's dinner, from his beard and nibbled at it.
"Oh?" questioned Vector. Probably nothing important, he tried to reassure himself. Possibly that pair of mismatched curtains on the fifth floor, or that the statue of Barnaby The Something Or Another was missing a toenail.
"Indeed," said Albus with a nod.
A long pause began, interrupted only once by the coughing of a portrait.
"Were you, erm, going to tell me, Headmaster?" said Vector with a little cough.
"Oh! Oh, yes. Well. You see, Aidan, it was a very average Tuesday in late May-"
"You mean today?" Vector spoke slowly, as if to a young child or eccentric old man.
"It would have to be today, then, wouldn't it? Alas, how quickly the last fifteen minutes have passed! Anywho, as I was walking on my normal rounds around the school, I payed very accute attention to my students, something I believe that every teacher should do, when they remember to. I watched many exchanges, just little things, between Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Slytherins and Gryffindors, and I believe I've picked up on something that no one has yet seen. Something..." Dumbledore searched for the right word, "alarming."
Oh, dear. This could not be good. At all. The younger professor gently reminded himself that, truly, he could not predict what the professor was going to say, and that, therefore, he should not be alarmed. Yet.
"There is, my dear professor-dear me, how I hate to alarm you. There is," Albus leaned forward and motioned for Vector's ear. Aidan took a sharp breath in and leaned to meet him. He moved his eyes from side to side in apprehension, and then upward in prayer.
"-a sense of inter-house tension!" whispered Dumbledore dramatically, his eyes just about popping out of his head. A glance at his hands showed him twiddling his thumbs with more speed than Vector would have previously believed possible.
The poor, old dog. There wasn't a real danger, thank the lord, just the same-old, same-old that Albus had failed to notice because he was too busy with bumblebees and beards. Well, thought Vector, no harm in playing along. Might as well calm him down a little.
Vector immediately jumped and sputtered (what he imagined would be a proper "alarmed" reaction), although the over all reaction was a bit delayed.
"I-I- Oh, God, Albus! You can't be serious?" shouted Vector, an unusual tone for him. He shook his head and opened his mouth a little wider for even greater effect (I should be an actor, he thought, for a fleeting moment).
"I'm afraid that I am, Aidan," said Albus solemnly.
"It's horrid, headmaster. What ever can I do to help you?" Vector said, wiping "sweat" from his forehead.
"Ah, yes. What ever can you do to help me? Obviously, we must confront the issue before it becomes anything of severe importance. This is where you come in, my friend," said Albus clasping his shoulder.
"Me, professor?"
"Oh, yes. You have great qualities. Superb, really, your habit of sticking your chewing gum under staircases," said Dumbledore in all seriousness. Vector tried to give a polite, inquisitive hum, but it came out a little more stressed and high-pitched than he wanted it to.
"You are certainly more qualified for this job than any of my other staff," Albus gave an ominous smile. Unfortunately, Vector's reply was much the same as his previous one; if anything, maybe another half note higher.
"What job might that be, professor?" asked Vector after a short moment. Really, Aidan, he thought to himself, it's not like you to get worked up.
"You will be in charge of an inter-house activity!" Dumbledore yelled suddenly, making Vector flinch. He crossed his fingers under the desk. Something easy, please.
"What did you have in mind?" asked Aidan with a strained smile.
"One particular sport- well, not many consider it a sport, but there are still a large number that do. Something mellow and fun, that all house members can do as a team..." trailed Dumbledore. "Simply put, Aidan, I would like you... to be the first... instructor of...-"
-chess club chess club chess club chess club chess club chess club-
"-The Hogwarts Inter-House Marching Band!" shouted Dumbledore, his voice and demeanor just dripping with pure glee.
"Come again?" said Vector weakly, now completely giving up his acting.
"Professor, I would like you to be a band director for the first ever Hogwarts marching band," said Dumbledore, slightly calmer now.
"Ah, yes, that's- that's what I thought you said," Vector replied quietly, slumping in his chair. Oh, God, this is not what he wanted. This is not what he wanted at all. Sure, he'd marched baritone for his American wizardry school as a teenager. Loved it, of course, great experience. But that did not mean that he wanted to be on the field now, as a thirty-something-year-old man, teaching sweaty teenagers to count to sixteen and always use condoms.
"I trust you are excited? You will, of course, be payed all through summer and extra in the fall as compensation," said Dumbledore. With an eye twinkle. God damn those eye twinkles, it's difficult to just refuse something twinkly.
Gold was gold. Vector sighed, and then said, "tell me where to begin, Albus."
"With try-outs, I would think. Well, I have things to attend to. Good day, Professor," said Dumbledore with a nod and a wave, before returning to looking for treats in his long, white beard.
Professor Aidan Vector was, in most situations, a calm person. Barely ever was he openly distressed, and when he was, he could pull himself together fairly quickly.
Aidan Vector was openly distressed, and immediately decided that the only way to pull himself together was with a barrel of alcohol.