Author's Notes: I've wanted to use this phobia idea for a while and finally found the time and motive to do it. A heartfelt thanks goes to my sister, anandacatastrophe for the setting idea. My original one didn't turn out so well XD.
Warnings: Slight swearing and shounen-ai. Don't like, don't read.
Disclamer: Naruto is not mine, sadly.
Naruto growled under his breath as he stalked down the street, pedestrians clearing out his way. He didn't see them however for he was too wrapped up in his thoughts. Sasuke had left him high and dry for over three weeks now and if he didn't get some action soon he was going to explode. His dick was getting accustomed to his hand again and that was not. A. Good. Thing. Neither was the chaffing, which was just one more thing to blame Sasuke for. Naruto had plans for Sasuke, big plans, and he was going to enjoy every minute of it even if Sasuke didn't.
He slammed open the front door to their shared apartment and shouted for his lover. Hearing no reply he searched the small rooms until he finally found Sasuke napping in the bedroom. Naruto gave an evil smirk.
This might be easier than I thought. He stripped off his clothes and crawled onto the bed, making sure not to jostle the sleeping figure. When he was finally situated on all fours over the prone body he nipped Sasuke's earlobe gently.
"It's time to play hide the pickle," Naruto whispered seductively. Sasuke woke with a yelp and bashed their heads together. As Naruto held his aching head Sasuke used that moment to escape out the doorway into the living room.
"TEME!! GET BACK HERE! I WANT HOT MAN SEX AND I WANT IT NOW!"
"NO!" Naruto heard as he walked into the living room.
"Why the hell not!! It's been three weeks since we've last had sex and I demand to know why!" All he got in reply was a mumble from the figure slouched on the couch.
"What was that, Teme, I didn't quite hear you."
"…ickels."
"What?"
"I said it was because you called your…thing…a pickle," Sasuke muttered. Naruto started at him in horrified amusement.
"Are you serious?! You've left me alone with my hand for three weeks just because I called my dick a pickle?!" Sasuke gave a slight nod.
"WHAT THE HELL! WHY DOES IT MATTER?!"
"Imafraidofpickles."
"Huh?"
"I'm afraid of pickles." There was a moment of dead silence before Naruto burst into hysterical laughter.
"Yo—you, you're afraid of…pickles!!" He gasped for breath.
Sasuke turned his head to look at Naruto and stared for a minute, contemplating his next action before releasing a kick to Naruto's head that made him fall onto the floor. Naruto just kept on laughing. Standing up with a huff, Sasuke started towards the bedroom when Naruto managed to calm himself down enough to talk.
"Sorry, sorry. I promise no more pickle references. It's just this whole no sex thing has left me in quite the pickle. I've passed the blue balls stage and started into green—"
The slamming of the bedroom door had him laughing hysterically once more.