A/N: this is an AU piece of fluff and eventually smut. It will be only a few chapters long. There will be no Voldemort return or war, so all characters are alive, only the weird stuff that seems to keep happening to Harry every year would stay for the sake of the story. I'm hoping it will be silly, sweet and funny. enjoy!
Draco Malfoy was having a bad day. Or more precisely, he was being his usual surly self, but this time he was taking it out on his fellow Slytherins in a way that was over the top, even for him.
But he had his reasons: after four years of working his ass off trying to be the best student in school, he had been made prefect. Despite that pebble in his shoe that was Hermione freaking Granger, he was still an outstanding student. When the badge arrived via owl he thought that shiny thing would keep Lucius off his back for at least a few months.
But no. His father was such a complete and utter arsehole that he sneered to the badge and instead of congratulating him he dropped a bomb: a woman from the Ministry by the name of Dolores Umbridge had been named Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, whatever that means, and she would be using students as her personal spies. A network of rats of her own, with the sole purpose of trying to get dirt on Albus Dumbledore, all in the name of a petty grudge that big clown Cornelius Fudge had since the Prophet had published an opinion piece calling for replacing the babbling baboon with Dumbledore as MInister.
And Lucius, who was never one to pass on opportunities for political gain, let alone use his son for it, had announced that he wanted Draco to join the horrid woman's student rat squad, as her main rat. Well, they could all go fuck themselves. Umbridge was a joke, a disgusting toad dressed in pink, the worst possible teacher anyone could imagine, she was actually trying to make sure they forgot the defense they had already learned. Rumor had it that Fudge thought Dumbledore was planning a coup and was paranoid thinking that he would use students as his personal army. So the woman was making them spent class time copying some ridiculous children's textbook that talked to them as if they were idiots and encouraged to always run and hide between their mother's robes.
So Draco was done. Fucking fed up. It hit him that his father would never be proud of him, no matter what he did. He was now sure Lucius was actually jealous of him. Draco was growing, he was now 15 years old and as tall as his father, intelligent, athletic and what he realized ground him the most, as handsome or even more than Lucius had been at that age. A young lion threatening to take his place on the prairie. Every time his mother doted on him and praised his newfound masculine beauty his father would rage and found something to berate him about . he was fucking done. He was a teenager, after all, so it was time to rebel. He was going to do everything his father hated: he was going to mess up with Umbridge, let go of those two goons Crabbe and Goyle and hang out with whomever he wanted. Heck, he would befriend the Weasleys just to fuck with Lucius' head. He always had wanted to hang out with the twins anyways, those two were just freaking funny. Fuck it. He will even befriend Potter and marry a muggleborn just to see his father fume. Hermione Granger, or maybe even Dean Thomas. Oh yeah, that was part of the whole thing: after hitting puberty Draco had realized his sexual proclivities actually went both ways. And he was not going to spend his life married to a simpering pureblood woman just out of obligation. He was going to be free to choose who to love. And when the time came, if that was a boy or a girl will be entirely up to him.
Pansy Parkinson was having a bad day. All her life her mother had insisted on her destiny being to become the perfect pureblood wife and trying to shove Draco down her throat. But now she was quite sure Draco didn't really like her. And she didn't like him either, not in that way. He was handsome, of course, but he didn't treat her the way she dreamed of. They were more like siblings, always barking at each other and then sitting together for meals as if nothing had happened. And lately he was even surlier than usual, so she was staying clear of him. Maybe she would do something to get on his nerves. What could make Draco angrier than anything? He deserved a good jab, after all, he had single-handedly ruined the Yule ball for her, not paying her any attention and spending the whole night whining about Potter and Granger. He was so obsessed with them that he didn't even have the head space to gossip with her about Weasley's horrid dress robes. And then it hit her: she will flirt with Ronald Weasley. For a second she cringed at the thought. Where did that come from? Why would she even consider that? Just because he was growing really fast and had come back after the summer with long hair pulled back in a short ponytail didn't mean she... oh shit. She liked him. Last year she had seen Mrs. Weasley come to visit Potter with an older son, the one with long hair in a ponytail and a dragon earring and she had felt all hot and bothered. And then on September first, when she was sitting on the train at King's Cross she saw the wave of Weasleys come through the barrier, and the last one she thought was the older, handsome one. But then she made a double take. It was just Ronald, who had let his hair grow even more, so the goofy longish hair he had sported fourth year was now long enough to hold on with a tie, and he had pierced his ear too, so he looked just like his older brother, but then that bitch Umbridge had made him take off the earring the very first day after the welcoming feast.
Merlin's wrinkled ballsack: she had a crush on Ronald Weasley.
Vincent Crabbe was having a bad day. Draco had been awful, to him and Goyle, called them idiots and told them to stay away from him. And now he felt lost. He still had Greg, of course, who was really his best friend, but they were so used to not come up with any plans of their own and only follow Draco that now they were lost. After breakfast, he felt a bit better though: since Draco had not sat with them, Greg and he had sat looking towards the Gryffindor table. For the first time ever they were able to stare at their leisure without been questioned. And Vince stared. He stared for a long time. He stared on to the blonde curls, sweet giggles and apparently huge boobs of Lavender Brown.
Gregory Goyle was having a bad day. He and Vince had been called out by Draco Malfoy and dropped on the curb like trash. For a bit, it felt horrible, since his father was close friends with Lucius Malfoy and always insisted on him sticking with the blonde, even when Draco could be quite mean sometimes. But then it happened: at breakfast he and Vince sat at their leisure, ogling the Gryffindor girls to their heart's contempt. He had a huge crush on Parvati Patil, and he knew Vince liked her friend Brown. For the whole meal, he stared, a silly smile on his face, as he daydreamed of him married to Patil while Vince would marry Brown, and they would all be best friends, and their kids would be best friends, and they would all be so very happy. But then it was time for class and his heart sank: he was not smart. And Parvati Patil was very smart. There was no way she would ever look at him.
Blaise Zabini was having an excellent day. He woke up late, so he felt rested and the room had been empty when he got ready for breakfast so he had the mirror all to himself, no Draco to push a for a bit of space. He had to run a bit to make it to the great hall but then when he was almost at the door another runner bumped right into him. The petite figure tumbled and he caught her, her red hair flowing around her gorgeous face, her eyes big and scared until she felt his strong manly arms (or so he told himself) holding her safely. They looked at each other and there was a spark. He moved very slowly, pulling both of them to a standing position, and she let him lead. "Thank you," she said, blushing but staring at his handsome face. He smiled and took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. "My pleasure, Ginevra," he said, and walked away giving her a last look, while the younger girl stood there, stunned. Then he looked around and sigh in relief: none of her big brothers noticed their little moment. Ah, what a wonderful day.