It was a beautiful blue sky day. I was flying through the clouds with my boyfriend pittoo. But his real name is dark pit.
I just liked the name pittoo because it sounds better for him. Anyways you might ask 'why are you two flying for?' Well it's because pittoo has to pay the house bill.
We landed on the ground and went inside the bank (bank of Montreal) while pittoo was paying I was getting candy from a bowl where the sits are.
I heard pittoo yelled, "ARE YOU HIGH AS FUCK! THAT MUCH MONEY I HAD TO PAY?! GOD DAMN IT MASTER HAND!" I laughed a little.
You might also think 'how much money pittoo has to pay?' Well, my friend. I will tell you, this happened a few minutes ago.
Flashback
Me and pittoo were making out on the couch again. I heard ken said, "seriously that is so gross and Ewwww" "I know right? I really want to why are they a couple?" Said, Ryu, as they walk past the couch.
As we were making out, pittoo said, "you know what pit? This relationship is starting to better than ever" I blushed. Pittoo was about to kiss me when master hand came to the living room.
Pittoo got off the couch and I asked, "hey mister master hand, what are you doing here?" He didn't say a word. He just throws the paper at pittoo. Pittoo said, "what the hell is this?"
Master hand said, "the bill pittoo, you got to pay the bill at the bank"
"Why not you or your brother?" Said pittoo.
"One problem, we are hands, who want to see giant hand inside a bank and paying the bill? The cops will take us away. So this is why you have to go to the bank and pay the bill, very simple. Take pit with you, so you don't get bored on the way" said master hand.
Pittoo nodded and took me by the hand and we left the house. We spread our Angel wings and we started to fly.
Flashback ended
When pittoo was done paying, I said, "so how much you had to pay?" He angrily responds, "you want to know? IT'S $1,000,000 DOLLARS!"
That is a lot to pay, luckily for the hands, they own lots of money. Because the hand made an agreement to pay the Mayor of Gotham city $2,000 dollars a week.
We left the bank, I tried to calm down pittoo by place my hand on his shoulder, but he said, "don't touch me pit" I moved my hand away.
We decided to walk a sidewalk so we don't waste our flying ability. I lost mine once and it was not pretty at all. We passed a weapon store. Then something caught my eye.
It was a huge purple and blue sword with a yellow blade on it. I was about to catch up with pittoo when something when into my brain.
Kirby... I loved the pink gumball when he decided to join my kids' club, it made me happy. Now I want to give Kirby something that he will remember.
Pittoo said, "pit? What are you looking?" I jumped and said, "you see that pittoo?" He looked at the sword.
Then he said, "ok? It's just a sword. It's nothing special pit"
I said while giving pittoo the puppy eyes, "can we please buy the sword. I really want to give it to someone special. Please?"
"Have you check the price for that sword?" Said pittoo.
I looked at the price, holy shit it's expansive. $3,000,000 dollars.
I lied, "it's $2 dollars pittoo" pittoo gave me a disappointment look and said, "do you think I'm stupid? I saw the price before to do. And don't ask me to get that sword. $3,000,000 dollars. Who could spend $3,000,000 for a medium sized sword?"
"But pittoo, when you press on that button the sword will show 20 knives on each side, just like a paper fan the one Chinese people make in China," I said.
"No pit, when I said no. It means no. Now let's go or master hand will get his belt and will spank us" said pittoo.
"Ok pittoo, let's go back," I said in a sad tone. We decide to take a taxi instead to go home.
I just don't understand. When we were making out, pittoo was nice but now He's mad and grumpy. Kinda like meta knight. He has anger issues from a past so long ago. he will never tell anyone. I wonder why?
A Few minutes later
When we arrived back home. I was still thinking of that sword. Pittoo said, "ok pit, I'm going to practice my fighting skills. You do whatever you want. But don't get that sword" then he walked away.
I decide to sit down on the couch. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. God damn it the kids' channel treehouse. Super wings were on treehouse. God, I hate that show.
That show is a transformer rip off. I hated the characters, the stories suck, and the setting is trash. Who watches that show? It's for little kids and babies.
I then change the channel. A commercial pop up. It was the sword. I turn up the volume. The commercial said, "it's $3,000,000 dollars. This is a limited edition sword. The sword will be gone tomorrow so get that sword or wait 26 years for the sword to come back"
I really want to get that sword so badly. I was whimpering, so loud that Kirby came to the living room. he said, "pit will you please keep it down a little bit. me and meta knight were about to do something and there must be no distraction" I stopped whimpering. I said, "I was whimpering because there is this new sword and I really want to get it badly"
"you mean the $3,000,000 dollar sword?" said Kirby.
I nodded and said, "yeah its that one"
"sorry pit, I don't have that kind of money pit. and why do you need that sword anyway?" said Kirby.
"for someone special, is there a way I can make 3 million dollars?" I said.
"well, the best way to get 3 million dollars is stealing money from a rich man. I'm just joking please don't rob a rich guy" said Kirby.
I think for a moment. then I grabbed a light bolt and hang it on top of my head (which means I got an idea)
I said, "how about I sell hot dogs"
Kirby said, "are you fucking kidding with me? you can't sell hot dogs that cost 3 million dollars. nowadays hot dogs cost about $6 to $12 dollars"
I was about to say when meta knight called Kirby from the distance, "KIRBY! WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG!? IM WAITING TO GET STARTED!"
"sorry pit, figure out yourself how to make money," said Kirby as he left.
I am still going to sell hot dogs. did you know I can make hot dogs? I had hot dog practice for about 3 or 5 years.
I grabbed the sausages and the buns from the freezer and drawer. I build my own hot dog stand because Mario and Luigi are very busy with the toilet.
I decide to go outside, so I fly out of smash bros and landed on the ground so I don't cause a fire in smash bros. if you don't know, smash bros is a floating house in the sky. I got my stand ready and make the hot dogs.
I put the price for the hot dog. which cost $1,000 dollars. I waited for a customer to come. I waited more and more and more and more.
20 minutes later
finally, a customer came at last, which is a man who wears an old looking red jacket, blue jeans, green shoes, brown hair, while pale skin and black eyes. I said, "hello there sir what will you order?"
he said, "I would like a hot dog with mustard on it" I quickly made the hot dog.
"here you go sir, that will be $1,000 dollars," I said with a happy tone.
"$1,000 DOLLARS! I can't pay that much money, I only have $200 dollars" he said.
"it's ok sir. how about we make a deal. I gave you the hot dog you want for free. and you can give me a $1 dollar bill. deal?" I said
he nodded. he gave me a $1 dollar bill. and I gave him his hot dog. he left my stand.
I was about to cook more when I heard a voice said, "PIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I gasped. I turned around. pittoo was there with a very angry look on his face. kind like a serial killer would make.
I asked sounding nervous, "oh uh hey there pittoo, what's with the face?"
he angrily responded, "why are you selling hot dogs OUTSIDE?! didn't I told you, you can't have that sword"
"I know, I know but please can I have the sword pittoo. I am dying to get it" I begged
"simple answer. NO!" he yelled. I was so sad I was tearing up.
pittoo said, "now put everything back and do some flying training for once. GOD! your a fucking idiot" he spread his wings and fly back to smash bros.
I was about to clean up when the same man came up to me. he said, "Hey kid, what are you doing?" I said sadly, "I'm closing my hot dog stand sir. because no one wants my hot dogs"
"Oh don't worry I brought a full school of students and teachers," he said. my eye was wide opened.
I asked sounding shocked, "how did you get a full school of students and teachers?"
he said, "I'm a principal from west credit secondary school" he whistles and all the people from that school came to my stand. I grinned, holy macaroni this is going to be fun.
6,000 customers later
after I gave everyone there hot dogs I made so much money. I got $2,999,999 dollars. now I need one more dollar and I will get that sword. I was about to make another one when I heard a student said, "hey! my hot dog has mustard on it. I wanted green relish on my hot dog" ahh shit.
I forgot to put relish on that student's hot dog. I was about to get the money when a fight started. the students were fighting like animals. one student throws a brick. I dogged it, it hit my stand. I got the money and put them in a bag and fly out of there so fast, while the teachers tried to broke up the fight.
I opened the door to smash bros. and I locked it. I was breathing hard from the flying. I sat down on the couch. when a dollar bill was flying. I grabbed it with my hand. a smile appeared on my face. holy fucking crap I finally got 3 million dollars. I kicked the door opened and fly out to the weapon shop.
a few minutes later
I landed and opened the door to the store. I was welcomed by a man named Raven Balyk. he said, "hello kid, welcome to my weapon store. what do you want to buy? maybe kill people?"
I said, "I will like to buy the 3 million dollar sword please"
"You got it, kid," raven said. he went to grab the sword. then he gave it to me and said, "now the money please" I gave him the money. he said, "holy crap. I finally got 3 million dollars, thanks, kid. now I can buy a bomb and destroy a preschool"
I finally got the sword. I fly out of the store in excitement.
another few minutes later
I wrapped the sword into a present while I was flying to Kirby's window, I made it to his window. I tap on the glass 'I hope he's not busy with meta knight' I thought. then he opened the window. he was surprised at first. but when he saw the present he let me inside.
when I came inside his room meta knight was on Kirby's bed he was sleeping. Kirby said, "hey pit, what's with the present"
I said, "well this is a present for someone special"
Kirby said, "you mean your boyfriend dark pit?"
I said, "nope, the present is for-" I was about to finish my sentence when meta knight woke up. he yawned and looked at me. "hey pitty pit *yawned* what are you doing here?"
Kirby said, "pit has a present in his hand"
meta knight's eye turned white and said, "really?" he got off Kirby's bed and hugged Kirby tight.
Kirby said, "as you were saying"
I continued, "the present in my hand is for you Kirby"Kirby's eye were wide opened in shocked. even meta knight was shocked. I gave the present to Kirby and he opened it up.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" said Kirby and meta knight all together. I giggled and said, "do you like it, Kirby?" Kirby was so shocked he fainted in meta knight's arms. meta knight said, "this is very surprising pit, at first you were a fucking idiot but you gave my girlfriend the 3 million dollar sword. that is the nicest thing I ever saw in my life. thanks, pit, when Kirby will wake up, me and Kirby will play with it"
I said, "your welcome meta knight" I opened Kirby's door and left the room. I was thinking in my head I should do flying practice. yeah, that is what I should do. I ran into my room and closed my door and locked it. I didn't notice pittoo was on my bed. I jumped a little, pittoo got off my bed and walked up to me and grinned.
I spoke nervously while grinning, "hey pittoo, what are you doing here?"
he said, "how was your shopping at the weapon store? did you got the 3 million dollar sword?"
I gasped, "how did you know"
he grinned even more, "easy I was following you the full time"
my mouth dropped, I cover my face with my hand. pittoo pulled my hands out of my face and said, "come on the bed with me pit. I'm going to give you your punishment for the day" he smirked.
I sighed, "fine, let do my punishment for the day"
pittoo said, "that a good boy" he picked me up and throw me on my bed. pittoo got on my bed and kissed my lips. you might know what my punishment is.
the end
