A/N: Hi everyone, I am not dead yet. If you are wondering about Blood Brothers, you are not the only one. I, too, is concerned about the story but to be honest, I have lost my muse to the extent I do not even remember what I had planned for that story. I will try to wring my brain to recreate a spark of creativity to get back to that story but no promises. I might consider deleting the story completely.
However, I am proud to present this story: The Blackness of the Heart. I had this plot in my head for a very long time, ever since I read stories of Harry being adopted by Sirius. However, I wanted to see how I can tweak the story to include Harry, Sirius and Sirius's son. I believe that the dynamics and the relationships would be heartbreaking and cause a difference in the way the original HP ended.
With that, I present to you: The Blackness of the Heart!
THE BLACKNESS OF THE HEART
Summary:Sirius was declared innocent after ten years in Azkaban but his life was not any better after his release. Finding out his godson had disappeared from the Dursleys' home at seven years old merely made his life harder. However, when Harry's name appeared from the Goblet of Fire, Sirius could finally be reunited with his son in everything but blood. But Harry was not alone and by his side was the unknown son of Sirius, Aries Black. Plagued with the mistakes of his past, Sirius would have to deal with the son he never wanted while protecting the godson he always wanted without tilting the tides to the Dark's favour. Starts GOF.
Prologue – When Black meets White
*July, 1974 – Grimmauld Place*
"Remember to behave yourself, Sirius," Walburga Black hissed at her eldest son as she inspected his robes from head to toe. "Lord Malfoy is present and I will not be embarrassed once again after your fight with Lucius Malfoy. I expect you to apologise to Lord Malfoy and his heir."
Fourteen-year-old Sirius rolled his eyes and fidgeted uncomfortably in his heavy dress robes of navy blue. It was his grandfather's birthday once again and as the current Lord Black, Arcturus Black was holding a grand party at the London Home of the Blacks. Sirius tried to escape this stuffy event by purposefully falling off his broom for a broken ankle, faking ill and being foul to his entire family, but to no avail. Walburga merely healed his ankle with a wave of her wand, dismissed his attempts at playing sick with an air of being used to his antics and yelled herself hoarse whenever his mouth acted up. Despite Sirius being annoyed with his mother for not falling to any of his tricks, he had to give it to her. Walburga Black knew how to get what she wants, even in the face of a rebellious teenager.
"Am I understood?!"
Walburga's snappy demand brought Sirius's grey eyes to meet her similar ones. Sirius would never admit it but seeing the disappointment in her eyes directed towards him no matter the occasion hurt him every single time. Ever since he was sorted into Gryffindor, she had been expressing her disappointment of him in the harshest words and coldness that could chill an Ashwinder to the bone. She was never an extremely warm mother to begin with but her icy attitude towards her eldest son had been causing a rift between them. Sirius reacted in the only way he knew – with harsh words and coldness too – and that only created a larger chasm between them. Even at fourteen, Sirius knew that the end to their relationship was imminent.
Not wanting to see any more of his mother's frustration, Sirius just nodded and turned away. With a huff, Walburga went to check on Regulus's outfit before leading the two of them down the darkly-furnished hallways to the main sitting hall, where the guests were having tea with Arcturus.
Walburga knocked on the large oak doors and the doors opened on its own accord to allow the three of them in. Sirius slipped into his emotionless pureblood façade quickly. It would not do to show any emotions in front of the Dark purebloods that had gathered to celebrate his grandfather's birthday. He did not like any of them. Many of the children from the Dark families were in Slytherin and had crossed wands with him at least one. Especially the arrogant Lucius Malfoy who had just graduated Hogwarts. Sirius nearly let out a smirk when he remembered his graduation gift to the obnoxious peacock. He had made Lucius lose all of his precious hair before locking him in a broom closet with only his underwear on. When Lucius escaped thirty six hours later, the enraged blonde attacked Sirius, trying to curse the fourteen year old with horrible spells that would have hurt if they landed. Thankfully, Professor McGonagall was there and she swiftly landed the blonde in detention on the day of his graduation.
Ah, if he could do it again, Sirius knew he would. It was a good laugh, despite the earful he got from his parents the day he returned home.
Upon his entry with his younger brother, the room fell quiet to assess the two Black sons. Lucius, who was sitting beside his father, Abraxas, instantly glared at Sirius, who responded with a triumphant smirk. Sirius led his brother to Arcturus and bowed low.
"Happy Birthday Grandfather," Sirius said, repeating words he had to say every single year ever since he could talk. "May the Mother of Great Magic bless you with many years and much strength."
Regulus parroted his words and Arcturus gave his grandsons a tiny smile and a nod of approval. Turning to Abraxas Malfoy, who was sitting opposite him, the head of the House of Black said, "I believe Sirius has an apology to make to your son, Abraxas."
Sirius winced. He felt all eyes turn to him and the younger Dark purebloods started snickering. It was public humiliation, in his eyes, and he did not want to apologise for something that he truly felt that the git deserved.
To his surprise, Abraxas waved his hand airily and announced, "There is no need for that. I am sure Sirius has learnt his lesson. Furthermore, Lucius has to learn to pick his battles more carefully. Trying to fight your grandson in front of a professor is foolish. Hopefully, both boys can learn from their mistakes."
Lucius reddened under his father's disapproving glance and glared at Sirius once more. Sirius grinned at him before turning to Abraxas: "Thank you Lord Malfoy for your kindness."
Abraxas smiled at him and allowed them to continue making their greetings to the other lords and ladies in the room, who had continued their conversation.
After the tea, there was a lavish dinner for all those present. Sirius sat beside his father who was on the left of his grandfather, who headed the table. As the adults spoke of politics, Sirius found himself looking towards the middle of the table where a blonde girl sat beside Lucius Malfoy. She was beautiful. With piercing sapphire eyes and a full head of platinum blonde hair, she captivated him. A flattering set of dark blue robes enhanced her slim physique. From her looks, Sirius knew she was certainly a Malfoy but he had no idea who she was.
"I think it is time to discuss Sirius's betrothal, don't you think so Father?"
The sound of his Father, Orion Black, mentioning his name and 'betrothal' in the same sentence broke Sirius out of his reverie. He turned to gape at his father who was looking towards to Arcturus, who was looking thoughtful.
"I agree," Arcturus said. "It is important for the future Head of the House of Black to marry a good pureblood woman in order to continue the traditions of our house."
Sirius stepped into the conversation quickly. "Grandfather, I think it is too early to talk about this," he pleaded, leading his mother to hiss a "Be silent!" to him.
"It is not, Sirius," Orion snapped at him. "It is time for you to take up responsibility for your role as the future Heir of the House!"
"Now, now," Abraxas cut in before Sirius could retaliate, "Sirius is just feeling surprised. I am sure he will take up his role well and continue the pure lineage of his house."
Sirius fell silent but remained angry. He did not like the idea of being pushed into a union that he did not approve of. Much less a union that was arranged by the elders in his family merely for the sake of his House. What about him? Does anyone give a hoot to what he wants?
"If I may suggest a candidate for Sirius's wife," Abraxas continued, "I will like to suggest my niece, Helena. She is the same age as Sirius and I feel that they will be a good match."
He then called said niece to him. Sirius turned to find the girl he mentioned and saw that the girl he was admiring had stood up to walk towards them.
When the girl reached Abraxas, she curtseyed prettily to the adults.
"Helena Malfoy greets the elders respectfully."
Her voice was like a chime of bells that reminded Sirius of the Christmases before Hogwarts when his family was still close and warm. He was enthralled by her presence. Internally, he would not mind so much if his father had chosen Helena Malfoy as his bride. But he knew he has to reject her. She was a Malfoy and he knew they are all cold-hearted, evil people.
Arcturus smiled at her and said, "Helena, meet my grandson Sirius. He is the same age as you."
She turned to look at him. For a split second, Sirius saw a flash of humour in her sapphire eyes before it vanished.
She held out her hand. As part of etiquette, Sirius was to kiss her hand. Usually, Sirius ignored all the girls who had been introduced by the elders of his family. But this girl had attracted his attention with her beauty and that mysterious air she has around her.
Surprising everyone, Sirius stood up and took her hand. His grey eyes never leaving her blue ones, he placed a kiss on the back of her hand.
"Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Helena Malfoy."
"Pleasure's all mine, Mr. Sirius Black."
* August 1976*
Sirius.
I am writing this letter in hope you are safe and well. Despite our sparse correspondence, I do consider you a friend and I worry for you.
I heard from my uncle that you left home a week prior to me writing this letter. I know that you have been fighting with your parents but is it necessary for you to leave home? Your parents and Regulus must be very upset and worried.
Do you remember my last words to you before I left for Durmstrang? I told you that your life is never just your own. I hope you ponder on this again.
With love,
Helena
Helena.
I am well. I do not want to be part of the House of Blacks any longer. Before, I thought it was merely a phase that the elders were going through. I thought that their disappointment in me being the son that they did not want would pass.
Now, I know better. My family and I will never meet eye to eye. We have different points of view and different priorities.
And you are right. My life is never just my own. However, it is my life and I can choose who gets to have a claim on it.
I do not wish to fight with you. You are much better than your cousin, Lucius. Despite you being in Durmstrang, which has always spurned out wizards with radical views, you accepted me being the White Sheep of the Blacks. I am thankful that you played along with me when I had to pretend to be a proper pureblood. It was fun when we were just kids and we never needed to think about the future we wanted. My family, the Dark purebloods and you – all of you want a future that is similar to those of the dark past, regardless of the consequences it will bring to the progress we had made as a society to become an inclusive one.
I wish to be in a future where everyone will be accepted.
This is my last letter to you. Goodbye.
Sirius
*March 1980 – Diagon Alley*
It was an hour before midnight. Usually, there would still be wizards and witches hurrying around doing their last minute shopping before the shops closed at midnight. However, due to the fear of Voldemort, many shops had closed down and many wizards stayed in the safety of their homes. The attack on Luxury Alley, which was right next to Diagon Alley, made the threat of Voldemort even more real for many of the sheltered wizards who had never seen the catastrophic damages done by Voldemort and his minions, the Death Eaters.
While most of the shops were closed, the Leaky Cauldron was still open. Being the gateway between Diagon Alley and Muggle London, it had to be open all the time. Yet, there was no one in the bar. No one except one twenty year old Sirius Black.
Sirius was supposed to be on watch duty but tonight, he could not care less. His best friend, James, and his currently pregnant wife, Lily, were told by Albus Dumbledore that Voldemort was hunting them down. Since then, the two of them had been in hiding, frequently moving so that they would not be caught. The last time that Sirius saw them was a month ago.
Despite knowing that the hiding was for their own good, Sirius could not help but feel slightly resentful. He felt the ache of losing his best friend to Lily when they got married. Suddenly, James was spending more time with Lily than him. Nights out with Padfoot were replaced with nights in with Lily. Even when he met Sirius, it was often with Lily in tow.
It was not that he disliked Lily. Sirius just missed the times when it was just him and James.
Now, the infrequent meetings dwindled to nothing. For their own safety. Sirius felt bitter over it while hating himself for being so self-centred. He had never felt more alone in his life.
As Sirius downed another shot of Firewhiskey, the doors leading to Diagon Alley clattered open. Both Tom and Sirius looked up at the entrant and were blown away by a beauty standing at the doorway.
Helena Malfoy still looked as beautiful as Sirius remembered.
Long waves of platinum blonde hair and an exquisite face. Her sapphire blue eyes, so beautiful, widened in surprise when she saw Sirius.
The two of them stared at each other for a good minute before Helena approached him.
Her eyes held hints of coldness that were never directed at Sirius before. He supposed he deserved it, after breaking all contact with her.
"Sirius Black, what a surprise to see you here."
Sirius winced, hearing that her voice matched the iciness in her eyes. He was not prepared to talk to an old friend, one that he has no clue on her loyalties.
"I see you are drinking. May I join you?"
Without waiting for his permission, she gracefully lowered herself onto the chair, rearranging her dark robes around her carefully. She looked him over carefully, and whatever she saw made her frown.
"You look like you are in a bad shape. What happened?"
It was not long before Sirius poured out his heart to her. She was so unlike the other purebloods that were close to his family. She did not judge him or expect him to do anything. She merely accepted him as he was.
Sirius told her about his loneliness in the face of an impending doom on the people he loved the most, the Potters and his friends. He told her of his envy of his best friend's wife and how he hated himself for having such thoughts. He told her of how much he wanted to protect Regulus but his younger brother has never listened to him. He told her of his fears of the war.
Helena just listened. She took a shot of Firewhiskey whenever his voice broke, as though she was disturbed by how close he was to breaking down. She looked passive, her face forever seemingly stuck in that pureblood stoic face, but Sirius knew that she felt upset that he was feeling the way he was.
When Sirius stopped ranting, there was a long silence. The two of them stared at each other.
Helena reached over with her hand and with a slight hesitation, held his hand in hers. Her hand was warm from the alcohol and her eyes seemed to be shining from within. She looked so strong, Sirius thought.
Drawn in by her eyes that were blazing like a blue flame, Sirius leaned over. She did not move. He brought his lips to hers.
He poured out his hurt and loneliness into the kiss and she accepted it. They did not even realise it when the both of them left the pub and apparated back to Sirius's apartment. Their minds were in a haze and they just wanted to be together that night. Safe and warm in the arms of someone that cared.
When Sirius woke up the next morning, naked from the long night of love-making, he was not surprised to see Helena gone. On the bedside table, a note was left for him:
Sirius,
You are not weak. Love is a form of strength that your enemies will never understand.
I believe that you will live to protect those that you treasure.
Live well.
Goodbye.
Helena
Her wish for him to live well did not come true however. She vanished from his life, and any attempts to find her went to naught.
October 1981 came and his worst fears were realised. James and Lily were murdered by Voldemort. Betrayed by a friend they all believed they could trust. He did not even get to protect his godson, Harry. Harry was sent to his Muggle relatives and he went to Azkaban.
For five years, he howled at the moon, sending his sorrows and grief into the night sky. In his mind, all he could hold on to for his sanity was the hope his godson would be safe.
Till one day when the Dementors finally left him and he was extracted from Azkaban. For a hopeful minute, he believed it was because he was finally proved innocent. But this hope was crushed in an instant.
Harry Potter was missing.
The Ministry of Magic was in a total panic. The seven year old hero was missing and no magic could trace him. His relatives told them that they had left him in Romania, where a Muggle civil war was occurring. Sirius could barely stop himself from hexing them. They left his godson to fend for himself in the middle of a war! What kind of monster could do that?
Despite all the attempts, no one could find Harry Potter. Sirius was proven innocent in a trial when he was fed Veritaserum.
He was a free man but he was still shackled by the guilt of his past.
Many gave up hope that Harry Potter was alive. Yet, Sirius never stopped hoping. He poured his heart and soul into finding his godson. Dumbledore helped him along the way but demanded that Sirius returned to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Although Sirius still could not forgive the old man for throwing him into Azkaban, he was thankful for the job and the sense of structure kept him sane. Together with Remus, Sirius could recover from his stint in Azkaban.
His life would be complete if he could have his godson.
After seven years of searching, it would seem that his wish would finally come true.
But not all wishes come true without a price. Sirius's price would be one that he was not willing to keep. A boy made of shadows, with eyes that were like a blazing blue flame. A boy with secrets and a desire to never let his friend, Harry, leave his sight.
Sirius was going to meet his newest challenge – his son.